Lox's POV...

If Liam knew where Cohen was taking me he probably would've found a way to hide my leg brace and all my assistive devices so I couldn't go anywhere. That's how adamant he is about keeping our past in the past.

Who could blame him. What I've been told, he spent almost 6 years growing up without a mother and watching his father beat on his older brother. Then spent another 3 years in hiding, away from everything and everyone he's ever known, to take care me and protect us. He's barely 19 years old. He's witnessed and experienced enough evil to last 100 life times. No wonder he doesn't want me remembering all that shit or reliving our past. He wants us to move on and I get that. But I want to remember so I understand who I am.

I know it doesn't make sense to anyone. My friends, even Greya want to spare me of the horror and think I should move forward without knowing the real me. Hell, I'm not even sure this is a good idea, though my gut is telling me to try. Or, maybe it's my messed up brain causing me to make irrational decisions. Whatever it is, I know I want to be the man Greya needs me to be and maybe this could be a missing piece to the puzzle.

Did I mention Cohen doesn't agree to this either. He's doing me a favor by driving me and his parents owe me some explanations.

"You're quiet. Having second thoughts? I can turn around," Cohen says.

"We're al...almost there, c...can't turn b...back now."

"Are you nervous about being in your old house?"

"Yeah, I...I'm afraid I w...won't f...find what I'm l...looking for. I h...have a lot o...of q...questions for your p...parents."

Please don't ask me what it is I'm actually looking for because I can't answer that. Is it really better to forget about one's past or be able to relive the moments no matter how horrific they might be?

Cohen pulls into the driveway of a large victorian style house. I don't recognize it.

"We're here. Does it look familiar to you?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Do you want to use the chair or can you walk?"

Either way, I need to make it up his front steps. My leg is doing a little better now, so we shall see.

"I'll w...walk with m...my crutch if y...you don't m...mind giving me a h...hand with the s...stairs?"

My limp is severe but at least I'm walking again. With Greya, I almost don't need to ask for her help, she seems to know what I need and does it like it's completely normal to act as my human crutch. Things are easier for me when she's assisting me. Asking for Cohen's help feels strange, though I have no other choice.

" So tell me what to do," he says as we reach the first of three steps.

" My l...leg doesn't h...have the s...strength to l...lift my weight up s...so y...you'll need t...to help me. L...lift my arm and p...put it a...around your shoulder."

My arm is bent as usual and stiff but Cohen lifts it around his shoulders. He's strong enough to carry me up the steps of it comes to that.

"Th...thanks."

I'm completely surprised when I recognize the lady who opens the door to greet us. Her and I both freeze when she opens the door. I stare at her for who knows how long as different visions of her come to my mind. She always has a smile in my visions and welcomes me into her home any time of the day or night.

"You okay there?" Cohen's voice brings me back to the present. He removes my arm from his shoulders and remains with his hand wrapped around my bicep while I secure my other hand into my forearm crutch. Mrs. Collins doesn't take her eyes off me. Her expression is one I can't read.

"Hi mom," Cohen distract her and they embrace.

"Loxley, come on in. We've missed you so much," she carefully says. She opens the door wider and steps away from me like she's unsure of what to do.

I now realize the look on her face is genuine concern and her arms are itching to hug me too, yet she holds back like she's afraid to touch me. For a second I think it's because of my handicap and she's nervous about hurting me. But then I remember Liam explaining to me how I was petrified of anyone putting their hands on me, even as a friendly gesture.

I can tell this woman took care of me back in the day, I'm experiencing flashes of pleasant emotions as we follow her into their living room.

"Please sit so we can all talk," she points towards one of the two couches in the room. They sit facing each other, separated by a coffee table.

Cohen and I both take a seat onto the same sofa. I lean my crutch to the side and massage my leg which is spasming while I attempt to bend it. It may have to stay straight out for now. I need to find time to stretch more.

A tall tanned skin man with the same curly hair Cohen has walks into the room and shakes his son's hand. He then turns to me with his hand out. "Welcome Loxley."

This must be Cohen's dad, though I don't recognize him.

I shake his hand. His eyes peer at my arm and leg while his lips form into a firm line. I must seem completely different to them. My disabilities on display, making me feel self conscious again. We should've asked Greya to come with us on this trip. Everything's better when she's around.

Mr. Collins takes a seat with his wife, opposite of us.

"I don't know where to begin Loxley. We're very glad you came though," Mrs. Collins says. Her eyes fill with liquid as she observes me. I didn't come here to make this poor woman cry. She must know so much about me and seeing me again makes her sad.

"I h...have a l...lot of q...questions I h...hope you can an...answer."

Mrs. Collins squeezes Mr. Collins hand when she hears my voice.

Because of Greya, I've gained more confidence in myself and use my voice more, but seeing Mrs. Collins reaction makes me want to use my speech app. again.

"We'll answer any questions you have, son."

My heart skips a few beats hearing Mr. Collins refer to me as, son. I've never had a father figure call me that before. Not that I know of any way.

I've already heard the story of how mom and Jack met and how the Collins helped my mom into hiding and tried to protect me too. I've heard some of the abusive stories and how I spent most of my teenage years in this house under their care. I need to know other things that don't make much sense.

"How i...is no one l...living in m...my house? Who owns i...it n...now?"

Mr. Collins straightens his back and takes a breath. "We found out Jack had a living will. He left the house to Alec. It's been paid off already. Since we changed your identities, the house went into a trust under Alec's name. Until we know you both are safe from your father, we've kept the house in the trust. Nothings been changed, everything inside is still the same in case you or Liam ever wanted to come back some day."

"We had it cleaned from that terrible night and we have a cleaning service take care of it weekly and we make sure everything inside works properly," Mrs. Collins adds.

"Do you remember us?" She asks me next. It would be great if I did so this kind lady didn't have to be so nervous around me.

"N...not really. I re...recall images of y...you though."

She smiles and wipes her eyes.

"Where's our m...mother n...now? I d...don't believe she l...left us again f...for a job a...across country. Where d...does the m...money come from th...that pays our rent and t...tuition and l...living expenses?"

"Your brother hasn't told you any of that?" Mr. Collins raises an eye brow at me.

"I w...was led to b...believe our m...mother was p...providing for us. L...Liam d...doesn't like to t...talk about these th...things, n...nor remembering m...my past. All of th...this freighters h...him, me l...learning who I w...was upsets h...him."

"Poor thing. He's been through so much. He just wants you to be happy and you don't have many happy memories in your house." Mrs. Collins can't stop wiping her eyes.

I'm suddenly glad I don't have those memories because they make everyone I know sad so I understand their concern for me.

Mr. Collins continues explaining the logistics.

"Your paternal grandfather helped us hide you and your mother. He cares about you and never wanted his own son knowing about you. He's been providing for you financially your whole life. You have an account set up now that pays for you and your brothers living expenses, your health insurance and your college tuition. When you graduate, you have a trust fund set up to receive large sums yearly to help pay your medical needs and any medical equipment and to help you live independently. You're taken care of for life the way we have things set up. I'm sorry son, but your mother lives in a mental health facility in Connecticut where she'll probably live the rest of her life. She's unfit to provide for either of you or herself."

"So I..I have a w...wealthy grandfather who m...must've disowned h...his own son, b...but acknowledges and p...provides for h...his grandson? H...have I ever m...met him?"

This all sounds crazy. You can't make this shit up. This is my life apparently.

"Your grandfather didn't want to take the risk by meeting you. He knew his son was a terrible person and didn't want him finding you."

"What a...about Liam? H...he receives m...money too?"

Mr. Collins nods. "He is the sole recipient of Jack's life insurance benefits. We have a trust with monthly payouts set up for him too."

That's good to know. Things are clearer now, the finances anyway.

Mr. Collins is doing all the talking. I can tell this is too much for Mrs. Collins. It's hard to describe the way she's looking at me. It's not pity, more like how a mother would look at her son if she saw he was suffering. Except for my own mother, it was pure pity coming from her when she acknowledged me. My mother was mentally suffering and in turn couldn't take care of her own sons.

"When w...will we b...be safe? If m...my father doesn't know I...I exist after all th...these years, I sh...should be safe f...from him."

"We don't have an answer about that. We'd like to hope and believe you guys are safe now, but your father has a lot of connections. It took two years to find him after the night you were shot. He could have others in his crew looking for you, though we haven't had any evidence of that either. It's better you two keep with your current identities."

That's not a problem since it's the only identity I know.

"Who is h...he convicted of k...killing? I know L...Liam and I are p...presumed as d...deceased."

"He's been found guilty in Jack's death and for the murder of one of his former crew members. He has life in prison without parole. Jack is presumed to have murdered his family, including you and your brother. Your real father has no reason we hope of to assume you're his. As for your mother, we've received word that your father knows she's alive but she's safe for now in Connecticut."

"I gave Cohen the house keys, so you guys can take a trip over to your house and see if you find what your looking for."

The four of us stand up at the same time. I'm a few seconds slower of course and Mrs. Collins watches me carefully. I'd like to give the poor woman a hug and let her know I'm doing ok, considering.

She walks over to us and gives Cohen a quick hug and then stands in front of me, unsure of herself.

"You c...can h...hug me," I smile at her. I know she needs it. Maybe I do too.

"Are you sure?" She begins lifting her arms and quickly drops them to her side again.

"I've always wanted to wrap you in my arms so you knew you were safe here. You've been like a son to me," she says. More tears fill her eyes and now I'm holding my own tears back as well.

Nothing else would make her happier if she hugged me yet I can tell she's scared to touch me. I must've really hated physical contact back then. I'm a little skittish now, but for no apparent reason that I can remember and I'm sane enough to know this sweet lady in front of me would never hurt me.

I nod my head giving her the permission she seeks and she slowly inches towards me and gently wraps her arms around me. I feel her sobs even though she's not making any noise. Cohen grabs my crutch so I can at least get one arm around her too. For a second, Cohen looks as if he might cry too and quickly turns his head away.

"Come on let's let them go so they can come back and get a good nights sleep," Mr. Collins says as he gently pulls his wife towards him.

I'm hesitant about everything now. Obviously my past affects more than myself. These people have done every thing in their power to protect me and give me a new life.

What I'm searching for and find may not be anything I expect.

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Note: Ive made some changes to this chapter and moved some onto the next chapter which I will have finished soon!