Lox's POV...

I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I am sure of my love for Greya Matthews.

Loving her isn't the problem. She's the easiest person in this complicated world to fall in love with. My issue is not being able to give her everything she deserves.

I've felt this way before, in my former life; I'm sure of it. The bits and pieces I remember of us remind me I'm not good enough for her. I wasn't back then and I'm certainly not now. Not with all my disabilities getting in the way. But, God I love her. She loves me too, no doubt. I'm just afraid that someday she'll realize she could've chosen someone better and she'll resent me.

I can't remember who I was or what I did wrong in my past to merit the abuse. Liam says I chose to let it happen to me in order to protect him. I don't recall any of it. Was I really that noble? I hope so because the alternative would crush my soul. I couldn't live with myself if I inherited my biological parents mental illness. There's still a chance I could. My mother has schizophrenia and my real father is a psychopathic killer. I've probably been handed one of those traits, it's in my DNA somewhere. I'd like to know what kind of a person I really was before knowing who I can be for Greya. So much of my story has been lost and it's frustrating. The unknown is frightening and stressful. My body isn't handling any of it very well at all.

"Hey, Lox, I'm going to be late for class if we don't get going," Liam peeks his head into my room, reminding me of the consequences he faces trying to help me in the mornings.

"I c...can't walk."

My left leg muscles are twitching and I stand up from the bed, leaning all my weight into my crutch and show him my leg doesn't want to cooperate. For whatever reason, my effected stroke side isn't connecting after having a seizure two days ago.

"Shit! Okay, what do you need me to do?"

I'm grateful he's always willing to help, but mornings like these put a damper on his schedule and his life. This is what would happen to Greya too if our relationship developed further.

"Y...you'll b...be late. I'll s...stay h...home."

Liam's about to object when we hear someone knocking on the front door.

He leaves to answer it and I can hear him talking with Greya.

"Oh good, I need to leave. He's in his room and isn't having a good morning," he says to her. Great, that doesn't help me at all.

"No worries, we'll be fine. Get going," she tells him.

"Thanks Grey. See you at your game tonight. Good luck," I hear him say before walking out the door.

I'm sitting on the edge of my bed when Greya walks in. My left leg continues twitching. I don't have my AFO on so my foot is hanging in an awkward angle. My left arm bent as usual and I'm basically leaning on my right side. Attractive, I know.

She slowly walks closer to me. Her eyes studying me, a small smile etched on her face. I'm embarrassed for myself, yet she doesn't allow me to wallow in self pity.

"Hi," she softly greets me, taking a seat next to me.

"W...what are y...you d...doing here?"

Don't get me wrong. I want and need her here and at the same time I don't want her to see me like this. My morning routine isn't appealing and this morning is worse than usual.

"I dropped off Chase at school and since we have another hour or so before we need to leave for class, I thought I'd pick you up so you didn't have to be there early with Liam."

"Thank y...you, but I d...don't think I c...can make it t...to class t...today," my eyes roam to my useless leg.

Her eyes follow and so does her hand. I'm completely caught off guard when I feel her skin connect with mine and I'm thankful I'm wearing a pair of gym shorts over my boxer briefs as extra coverage.

She moves her hand up and down my shaking bare thigh, gently squeezing her fingers into my muscles , attempting to calm them. I'm unsure if it's working or not because I'm focusing on keeping my manhood at bay. This girl drives me crazy.

"Y...you don't h...have to d...do this."

"Well I'm here and you need my help, right?

I don't answer. She already knows I do.

"Get used to me being around in the mornings and accept my help. Liam needs to get to his classes and you need to stretch properly before going anywhere. I'm going to help you with that."

"Y...yes, boss," I give her a quick salute. She's persistent.

"There you are," she smiles.

"W...what?"

"You've always been able to joke around with me, no matter what the situation. I love that about you."

And I love everything about you which is why I'm having a hard time with all this.

She stands up in front of me offering me her hands. "Come on, let's get you to the bathroom."

This should be interesting. If she wasn't here I'd be dragging myself across the floor to get there.

My leg's shaking more and my foot doesn't want to straighten. Liam would be picking me up and carrying me in this situation. Piggybacking me would be too difficult for her they way my body is reacting.

"I'm s...sorry." That's all there is to say.

She places her finger over my lips and I swallow the lump that lodged it's way into my throat. My lips part slightly as I peer into her shining emeralds. I'm inevitably drawn to her as she leans in and softly kisses me.

"Stop apologizing, you and I are going to figure things out together," she calmly says.

Everything she does leaves me speechless. She's going to help me whether I like the idea or not.

While standing in front of me, she lifts both my arms and wraps them around the back of her neck. My right hand grips onto my left arm to keep it in place while I hold onto her.

She wraps her own arms around my lower back and tells me to stand with her.

I do as she says and stand up onto my right leg. My left leg is still quivering and my foot is turned inward.

My leg doesn't act up this bad very often but when it does I get anxious and frustrated. This is how my leg was at first back at the rehab hospital when I never thought I'd walk again. To happen again now is nerve wracking even when I know it's only temporary. I'll probably be as good as it gets again tomorrow.

"Hang onto me, don't let go," she says and removes her right arm from my back and reaches down to pick up my leg and then guide it back down so my foot is planted correctly.

I'm too worked up to concentrate on getting my muscles to work. All I need is to have a panic attack and Greya will have witnessed it all.

"I c...can't m...move." I hold her tighter. I can't move because the stress is paralyzing me.

"Yes you can. Close your eyes."

"W...what?"

"Close your eyes and listen to my voice. Focus on us moving together. We used to do this before and it would calm you."

"O...okay." I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"Feel my arms around you and yours around me."

We've done this before. Many times. The flash backs I'm having convince me I'm safe in her arms and I can try and walk with her. She's always been my rock. My reason to work harder. To be better. I don't need my memories to prove it. The realization runs bone deep.

"Move with me, Lox." She takes a small step back, pulling me with her. My right leg automatically follows and I'm able to drag my left leg along after.

We make it to the bathroom and I get my needed privacy, then when I'm done we walk back together the same way we came.

"I can stay here with you until Liam gets back. Going to class doesn't seem like a great option."

She's right about that. Doesn't mean I want her skipping class because of me. Not that I can talk her out of it, that stubborn woman.

"Do you have a gym or yoga mat?"

Do I even want to know the reason?

"In th...the c...closet."

She drags the foldable gym mat from the closet and lays it out on the floor next to my bed.

"Y...your gonna t...try and f...fix my l...leg, aren't y...you?" I shake my head in amusement.

"You know it. Now get down here," she smirks.

I slide myself down to the floor and scoot onto the mat. She commands me to lay back and then begins stretching out my leg. Stretching always helps. I don't do it enough because I can't do it on my own and if I had Liam help me properly, he'd never get to his own activities. I take up enough of his time as it is.

"Greya?"

Her smile brightens when she hears me say her name without stuttering.

"Yes handsome."

Now I'm smiling.

"Tell m...me about us. W...what were w...we like t...together?"

I need to know we were more than just her mending my wounds and comforting me after Jack abused me. I need to know I gave her something in return. All I can remember are pieces of us together and usually memories of her taking care of me. Like she's doing now. That can't be all our relationship was and I won't let it be how our future is.

"You and I had an unusual unspoken bond. A sort of connection to each other since the day we met." She smiles to herself while she continues stretching my limbs.

"You were so quiet and guarded, always observing everyone around you. Those are the first things that drew me in to you the first day you walked into my 7th grade class. You looked at me with those uniquely beautiful colored eyes of yours that shown whatever sadness you were carrying. I didn't know anything about your home life then, but I knew that look. I carried a sadness too."

"Y...your p...parents?"

She nods.

"We didn't talk to each other much. I think you were trying to keep me at a distance but we always had that connection. You liked to compete with me and egg me on. That was your form of speaking to me and it confused and intrigued me at the same time. Everyday I waited for your friendly teasing because you interacted with me. When you didn't joke around with me, I knew something was wrong."

"S...sounds like I...I w...was a j...jerk to y...you."

"The opposite actually. You challenged me and I needed that. I was basically going through the motions. Taking care of my brother and grandmother, going to practice and games. I rarely did anything for myself or even tried. You were the only person who motivated me without pushing me. I had so much pressure on me to be the best at everything, but you always lightened that pressure. And when I played along with your daily challenges, it put a smile on your face too."

"I sh...should've t...talked to y...you more."

I'll probably never understand why I didn't, especially with that part of my life missing.

"All it took was for you to open up to me a little one day, and that was it. From there you showed up at my grandmothers funeral to support me. You helped me with Chase. You protected me from Jack like you did with Liam. You allowed me to witness your vulnerable side and trusted me with your secrets. You played the piano and sang only for me and I felt so special. You made me feel loved and wanted. You are a good person, Lox."

She helps me sit back up and scoots closer to me, tucking my legs around her. I want to believe I'm a good person and I made her happy, but I can't remember all the things she says I did for her. I only remember her trying to fix me.

"I'm s...sorry you th...thought I d...died and y...you grieved f...for me all th...these years. A...and s...sorry y...you w...we're always t...taking c...care of me wh...when Jack h...hurt me. I d...don't remember J...jack or wh...what he d...did but I r...remember you," I lift my shirt and touch the small scar on my lower abdomen.

"Y...you st...stitched me u...up."

Her small smile confirms.

"I f...figure m...my fear of p...people t...touching me is b...because of J...Jack. L...Liam told m...me wh...what he d...did to me..... some of i...it anyway. Y...you helped m...me. I l...like wh...when y...you hold m...my hand, wh...when you h...hug me a...and r...run your f...fingers th...through my h...hair. I'm a m...mess and I'm s...sorry that's a...all you've e...ever known m...me to b...be. I want t...to be m...more for you. I w...want to be th...the person you s...say I am. Why d...do you s...still w...want to be w...with m...me?"

Her hands immediately cup my face, her eyes bore through mine like she's reaching for my soul. Whatever she finds turns her eyes a soft pale green and she smiles.

"Have I told you how much I love you?"

It takes me a moment to collect myself and return the smile.

"N...not today."

"I love you Loxley. We're all a mess. And you might not know who you are and it might take a while to figure it out. Either way, I loved you then and I love you now."

I grab the back of her neck and pull her lips to mine. I'll figure things out, I'll be better for her.

"D...don't give up o...on me Greya M...Matthews."