Lox's POV...

"So, are you gonna tell me why we're going to see the neurologist? I thought your follow-up was three months from now."

Currently, Liam's driving me to my appointment. I haven't told him anything so far because I didn't want him to worry. Though, it's a 2-hour trip and since he's the one taking me, I need to tell him.

I decide to talk with my speech app because there's too much to say. We're used to arguing through the phone anyway.

"There are things that've been happening to me lately that I don't understand and I need answers." I type.

"Like what? Why haven't you told me earlier?" His hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter. His mind probably thinking the worst possible things. Who can blame him really, after all he's seen me go through.

"It's nothing serious at least I hope not."

He doesn't like my response at all and turns towards me, glaring. "Lox..." His jaw tightens as he looks back to the road. "Everything is serious, no matter how small you think it is."

For all I know, I could be having a slow brain bleed so good thing we're making this trip.

"I kn...know, I'm s...sorry," I use my voice this time.

I type again, "I think I'm having more seizures."

Liam's head quickly turns towards me then back at the road again.

"What do you mean? You haven't had a seizure since the first week of the semester? Right?"

"Not a grand mal.... something different," I don't know how to explain them really and Liam's expression is matching my own confusion.

"He sighs, "Okay, tell me what you think is happening?"

He's going to think I'm losing my mind but here goes nothing. My fingers type as quickly as I'm able.

"Lately, when I'm with Greya I sometimes black out or zone out, hard to explain. I think my eyes are open because Greya's mentioned that I've stared out into the distance or something. It lasts for a few seconds. Maybe I'm having focal seizures but they've only happened around Greya when she touches me or says something to trigger them. Sounds ridiculous I know. "

Liam's quiet for a moment, surely thinking I've gone mad. Maybe I have.

"Let me get this straight. If Greya touches you or says something, you black out? Do you faint or anything?" He looks at me and I shake my head.

"Okay... when this happens does your vision go blank? Can you hear what's going on around you? How many times a day does this happen?" He sounds angry with me. He's concerned that something bad's happening to me.

So, I continue typing. "My vision doesn't go dark like when I have a grand mal. It's almost like my mind jumps into a different reality and I see something different, something that feels real but it can't be."

"You're not making sense Lox."

No shit! Non of this makes sense, that's why I made this appointment.

"Give me an example," he asks.

I try and think about the first time it happened. I lift my shirt and look at the scar on my lower abdomen.

Liam's hands squeeze the wheel again, his face turning a shade lighter when he watches what I'm doing.

"H...how d...did I g...get th...this?"

"The car accident probably," he quickly responds.

I use my speech app again. "The first time I had one of the seizures or whatever they are, was the first time we had lunch together. We were walking to the bagel shop and there was a set of stairs I was panicking over. Greya kept me calm, she told me to breathe then held my hand and as soon as she did I froze, you could say. I suddenly was in a backyard with Greya, I was bleeding and had this wound. She grabbed my hand and kept telling me to breathe. Then I blinked a few times and we were back in front of the steps on our way to the bagel shop."

Sounds totally ridiculous hearing my speech app explain what I'm feeling.

Liam's brows scrunch together, deep in thought. So, I continue.

"The next time it happened was at PT. You know how sometimes you are like my crutch when I'm not wearing my brace or my leg doesn't work?"

He nods.

"Well, Greya was practicing that with me and as soon as my arm went around her shoulders and she held my waist, I had another episode. This time we were in a hallway full of lockers and we were walking with my arm around her shoulders. I don't know how long it lasted but my therapists thought I was having a seizure too."

Liam remains quiet, which is annoying me. I kinda want his opinion or ...anything.

"Are y...you g...going to s...say something?"

He smiles. What the hell is he smiling about? This isn't funny.

"Tell me more."

"W...what?"

"Tell me more. Maybe we can figure out the connection."

I tell him about how I played the piano and how one of my episodes had Greya sitting beside me as I played, she had her hands over mine, her eyes closed, enjoying the melody. It felt so real. Then again, Greya was actually sitting with me doing something similar.

I told him how I sang an entire song without a stutter, which surprised him so much he almost swerved off the road.

"Wow! We need to tell the doctor you can sing! That's great!"

"I'm p...planning on i...it."

I left out what happened yesterday when Greya cupped my face and we kissed. My visions went ballistic when she caressed my cheek and then again when our lips met. For a moment I was envisioning kissing her multiple times, in multiple situations. I was convinced I was about to have a real seizure if I kept kissing her, so I forced myself to pull away and made a corny comment about kissing her more after a proper date. God, I wanted to kiss her more right then and there.

Liam doesn't have any explanation for me, I figured he wouldn't.

We park the car at the clinic and I try to climb out, but I've worked myself up talking about this stuff that my brain isn't connecting with my leg right away. My left arm is pinned at my side like it does every time I'm anxious and my leg won't straighten when I stand up. Figures.

"C...can y...you help m...me a m...minute?"

My request catches him off guard and I laugh a little.

"Since when do you willingly ask for help?" He jokes with me, walks over and holds onto my rigid arm.

"S...someone I kn...know k...keeps r...reminding me it's o...ok t...to need h...help s...sometimes." My leg slowly straightens and I feel my foot planted on the ground.

"I love that girl." Liam catches me off guard this time.

I glare at him and he laughs. "I love her for you, she's good for you."

I love her too. I wish I could say out loud.

Liam keeps his support on me while we check in and head to the exam room.

Dr. Shaw greets us and then does a quick exam of my eyes and the usual cognitive exam of asking me simple questions, checking my balance, which is always terrible so nothing new there. Then he gets down to business and has me explain to him everything I just told Liam in the car.

Now Dr. Shaw is quiet and Liam 's staring at him while he sits in the chair beside me, his leg bouncing around in nervous fashion.

"I need to step out for a minute and talk to my colleague, I'll be right back," Dr. Shaw says.

Liam immediately stands up. "I need to use the bathroom."

I give Liam a funny look.

"What? It was a long ride! You'll be fine a few minutes."

Both him and the doctor glance at each other and walk out of the room. That was strange. Dr. Shaw probably thinks I'm going crazy and needs a second opinion before telling me I'm insane.

A few minutes later Liam returns followed by Dr. Shaw. They both make eye contact with each other again before Dr. Shaw sits down onto his rolling stool.

"So, I don't believe you're having focal seizures. We could always have you wear a monitor for the next week so we can be sure you're not having seizure activity if you'd like?"

"I'd r...rather n...not." I tell him. Imagine Greya seeing me with wires attached to my head? No thank you.

"Okay. Like I said, I don't think your episodes are caused by seizures," Dr. Shaw repeats.

"W...whats h...happening to m...me th...then?"

He glances towards Liam again like they're afraid to tell me something.

"I believe you're having flashbacks," he carefully says.

"Wh...what do y...you mean? L...like m...memories? C...can't be. I...I only h...have th...them with G...Greya and I...I didn't kn...know h...her before m...my accident."

Liam's leg is bouncing more. What's with him?

"Maybe they're things that happened to you in the past but you haven't made the connections yet and while Greya is with you, certain things trigger the memories. There could be many reasons and most likely your brain is trying to recall events in your life."

He couldn't be more vague.

"Y...you th...think I'm g...getting m...my m...memory back?"

"Hard to say for sure. Give it time and you'll figure it out," he says.

This man may have saved my life but beyond that, he has no clue as to why I can and can't do certain things or how much time it will take to be normal again, or if I will ever be normal again. Besides the medical aspect of my injury, the rest is a mystery. Every doctor says the same...give it time. Nothing's more frustrating.

"W...why c...can I s...sing and n...not s...speak c...correctly?" He should be able to answer this question.

"Your speech therapist is correct. The part of your brain that allows you to sing, hasn't been injured. While the part that controls your speech has been injured to some extent. It's possible that someday your speech will improve because of the fact that you can sing without a stutter, we can't be certain."

There he goes again. If it wasn't for the seizure meds I need, I'd never come here again because these doctors are never certain about anything that goes on in my brain.

"If these episodes increase or cause you similar symptoms that you have with a grand mal, then please come back, otherwise I'll see you again in three months."

Umm, Okay.

I wave Liam off when he comes over to help me. As disappointed as I am, my leg is cooperating for once.

Most of the car ride back is silent. Surprisingly, Liam isn't asking questions or talking about what the doctor told us. Not sure what's up his ass and I'd rather not ask. Gives me time to stare out the window and think about everything.

"Ding"

My phone informs me I have a text from Greya. My mood instantly lightens from seeing her name.

Greya: I hope your appointment well. I missed seeing you today :)

She's so sweet. It feels nice to be missed.

I'll save her the confusion I've been left with.

Me: Everything's good. I missed you too

Greya: Do you and Liam want to come over for dinner after my game tonight?

Shit! I forgot about her game. I can't miss that, I promised myself watching her play is how I can easily support her.

Me: It's been a long day I hope you don't mind if I head home after your game? I promise to make it up to you tomorrow :)

Greya: Oh Lox, if you're too tired skip my game and get some rest

Silly girl. I love that she's always thinking about me but there's no way I'm missing the chance to watch her perform her magic. The way she floats around the field, carrying the ball at her feet with happiness and ease; the way life should always be for her. Life isn't always easy though and if this game brings her joy, I'll be there to enjoy it with her. I'll support what ever makes her happy.

Me: I'm not missing your game, Love, not a chance

Greya: You know how to put a smile on my face

She always puts a smile on my face.

Me: I'll see you soon, cheering for you from the stands and if we don't get a chance to talk after, I'll call you in the morning to let you know what time Liam and I will be over

Greya: I can't wait

I turn to Liam. We're almost home and our ride back has been in silence. This has been a long and strange day. I didn't get the answers I was hoping for, but maybe I am beginning to gain some of my memories back. Liam's probably as perplexed as I am. I'd just like to watch my girl play her favorite sport and then hit my bed. Tomorrow's a new day and I'll be able to spend some time alone with Greya. Maybe I don't need my memories to come back, perhaps Greya is the answer I'm looking for.