Greya's POV...

"Oh no, Becker you're sick! I'm so sorry!" I walk through Becker Reeves front door. Becker steps aside to let me in.

"You shouldn't be here Grey, Jack can't know about you," he sniffs and wipes his red nose with a tissue.

"You took care of me when I was sick, so I'm taking care of you."

As soon as I close the door behind me, Becker scoops me up into his arms and hugs me. My arms quickly find their way around his torso, feeling his warmth and love.

He kisses me on my cheek and whispers into my ear, "I love you, but it's not safe here, you need to leave."

I grab his face into my hands and stare into his magnetic blues. "I'm not leaving you! I'm not losing you again!"

"Becker!" We both turn to the sound of Alec's voice.

Jack Reeves is holding him at gun point. "No!" I scream. This can't be happening.

I jump in front of Becker when Jack points the gun towards us except Becker grabs my arm and pulls me behind him.

"Becker no!"

The gun goes off and Becker's limp body drops to the floor. There's so much blood!

"No! No! No! Becker please!"

"Grey! Wake up! It's just a dream, you're having a dream!"

Fynn?

When my eyes open, I see Fynn sitting next to me on my bed.

"You we're having a nightmare, Grey."

I sit up and feel Fynn's hand rub up and down my back and I immediately begin sobbing.

"Shh, shh, you're ok, " Fynn repeats.

"I'm not okay! I can't lose him again! And I can't keep pretending or lying, or what ever it is we're doing to keep him from remembering. This is wrong."

Fynn keeps rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. He's spent the last three years calming me after my nightmares. Always the same dream, yet different scenario but always the same outcome. Becker dies.

My therapist says I have these dreams because I never had any real closure. I never knew the true details of what happened in that house that night and I never saw Becker's body either. So, my mind conjures up different scenes and circumstances.

"Becker's alive, Jack is dead and his real father's in prison. He's safe now, Grey. You haven't lost him," Fynn tells me.

"I did though." I swing my legs over the edge of the bed so that Fynn and I are side by side.

"I did lose him, Fynn. The man I love is the same person but he isn't. He looks the same, he's still selfless, caring, smart, and self-conscious. I love him whether he calls himself Becker or Loxley, disabilities or no disabilities. But he doesn't remember loving me. He doesn't remember me at all, and I know everything about him. I feel like I'm invading his life, forcing him to learn to love me again...it feels wrong."

"I know this is hard. What else can we do? Maybe you can help him remember things? I know Liam doesn't want him remembering his past, but maybe he should," Fynn shrugs.

"I need to figure out something because this isn't fair to him, or me. I can't pretend we don't have a past together. Relationships are built on trust. How can Loxley ever trust me when I'm deceiving him?"

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure."

I pick up my cell phone and text Liam.

Me: Hey Liam I need to talk to you about something. Can you meet me at the coffee shop after you drop off Loxley?

Liam: Sure, but don't you have class with him this morning?

Me: Yes, I'll be late. This is important.

Liam: Yeah, ok I'll meet you there

"I need to talk with Liam about this." Fynn nods in agreement.

"Let me know how I can help?"

"Thanks Fynn. And thanks for helping me deal with another bad dream," I side hug him.

An hour later, Liam and I are sitting in the far corner of the coffee shop.

"What's wrong Grey? Is Chase ok? Is it Loxley?" Poor guy. I didn't mean to worry him.

"Everyone's fine," I quickly assure him.

I don't know where to begin or what I need to ask or tell him. I don't have a plan, though I need one and I need him on board with this.

"I want to help Loxley remember."

Liam's eyes widen and he looks around the coffee shop like he expects someone will hear us.

"I know you don't want him knowing about his past. I get that what Jack did to him and your mother leaving you guys were horrible experiences and I'm not saying I want him to remember those things. I want him to remember me. I want him to remember our friends and things that made him happy."

Liam's staring at me and shaking his head.

"No Grey. It's too late. You don't understand what we went through while in hiding, how many lies I told him. He asked me so many questions and I wasn't able to tell him the truth. If we tell him now, he'll hate me and he might leave...I don't know what he'll do."

"I can't keep lying to him too, it's not fair to him."

Liam's fear now masked with anger. "None of this is fair Greya!" He's trying to whisper and yell at me at the same time. He's scared, so am I.

"I didn't have a mother growing up and I had a celebrity father who only cared about drinking and beating the shit out of my brother. Becker raised me, he protected me by sacrificing himself and now he can't get out of bed in the morning until I help him stretch. Sometimes he can't move his arm or walk at all. And when he has seizures, he depends on me to take care of him. What happened to us isn't fair, he doesn't need to remember what our parents did to us. What if he remembers and decides to give up on everything he's accomplished over these past few years? I can't lose him, he's all I have."

He wipes away his tears with his shirt. Life isn't fair, I share a similar burden.

I reach out and hold his hand.

"I can't lose him either, not again," I say and he realizes that I did lose him once.

"I'm sorry Greya. I can't imagine how you all felt when you thought we had died. I honestly didn't have a lot of time to think about that while I was helping Lox through rehab. I missed you guys so much, but I was trying to be there for him like he always was for me."

"I think it's safe to say we all suffered," he gives me a small smile.

"We both had to grow up without parents, and we've experienced things no one should ever have to experience in their lifetime. What we've been through has also taught us resilience and strength and shown us we're survivors. And we're not alone. You're not alone, Liam. You and Lox have me, and Cohen, Chase, Fynn, Declan, Ari. We're family, all of us. You'll never be alone again, we won't let that happen."

I get up and slide into the bench next to him so I can hug him.

He wipes his eyes again, shifting up in the seat, trying to compose himself.

"Why do you need him to remember? He likes you Grey, he even planned to take you on a date. You two can be together again."

Sometimes I forget he's only eighteen. He's never been in love and he doesn't understand the foundations that keep that love going strong. All he's seen is heartache, abuse, and abandonment.

I don't need to tell him that what happened on that night three years ago, haunts me in my sleep. I watch them die over and over again in my dreams. A constant reminder of how I could've lost him forever. And though he's here now, I haven't really gotten him back. Right now, our love for each other only exists in my memories and when I close my eyes at night, and it can't be the only place it stays.

"Loxley deserves my honesty and trust. I can't keep pretending that he doesn't know me. We can't build our relationship on a lie. I want to be there for him and You. Someday I'd love if we could all live together and we'd have each other, always. But that can't happen by keeping secrets."

Liam nods while he's listening to me. His blue eyes filled with the same uncertainty I always find in Loxley's. Not anymore. I'll do whatever it takes to help them feel wanted and loved.

"When and if he does eventually remember me, he'll be upset with me too. We don't need to remind him of the horrible things Jack did to him. I hope he never remembers those things even if we end up telling him. What we can do is show him glimpses of who he was. Show him how talented and smart he really is. Maybe bring him to some familiar places and see if anything jogs his memory."

Liam shrugs, "Yeah, ok we can try that."

"He told me that none of his friends ever reached out to him after the accident, that no one visited him because he was probably a terrible person who no one wanted to be around."

Liam looks up at me. "I didn't know he felt that way, he only asked about his friends once while in rehab, so I didn't think he thought it was a big deal at the time."

"He probably saw how much you already worried about him and didn't want to add more to it."

"Sounds like him," Liam smiles to himself.

"He thinks of himself as a bad person who didn't deserve friends and now he thinks of himself as a burden. I don't want him to feel that way anymore. He needs his friends back Liam, and they need him. We need to try. He might be upset with us at first, but knowing him, he'll understand why we did what we did."

"You're right, Grey."

"You won't be alone Liam, I promise."