Greya's POV...

"Well, here we are!" We walk hand in hand to an empty table in the corner of the sandwich shop.

He removes his hand from mine while he places his cane under the table and slides into the booth.

I miss his fingers around mine already. Holding his hand felt right, the way we belong and I'm happy we stayed that way the rest of our walk. I realize how little strength his grip has, but he kept our connection anyway.

I expected his reaction as soon as our skin touched. Similar to the way he reacted the first time we held hands almost 4 years ago. Still uneasy when someone touches him, only now he doesn't remember why. That must be so frustrating for him.

This time I was prepared for him to flinch or pull away, but instead we touched and he fell completely still, wandered off somewhere in his head probably deciding on fight or flight. He chose to trust. Trust me, and I'm beyond happy we made this small step.

He's quiet now though, too quiet and I can't help but think I might be moving too fast. I can't help it. I can't exist in this world without him any longer.

But looking at him now, combing his fingers through his wavy hair, his brilliant blue eyes filled with apprehension; I understand he needs more time. I'm a stranger who's popped into his life after only having Liam around for so many years. He's gone without friends for so long, and here I am! I'd be in a bit of shock too if I were him.

Whether I'm going about this to fast or too slow, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. If I just came out and told him how much I like him, he'd think I was crazy.

His brain injury's left him with multiple physical ailments that would make anyone feel self conscious about themselves. He doesn't believe how beautifully handsome, brave, and brilliant he really is.

My B.  I died the day he did and now he's back and I'm determined to show him how we can both be happy, together, again.

"I'm going to order the buffalo chicken wrap, what are you getting?" Talking helps keep him distracted from whatever's going on in his mind, so that's what I do.

He briefly looks over the menu. "S...same." His voice unsure of himself again.

When can I hug him?

"What can I get you both?" The waitress asks. Her eyes drifting in Lox's direction and stay there a little too long for my liking. I'm jealous. But then again, Lox is extremely attractive, every girl gawked over him in high school. 

Lox doesn't answer her, his left arm bending inwards towards his body. I think he's nervous. That's what I read anyway. That some people experience more muscles contractures in uncomfortable situations because their brain is responding to heightened emotions. Maybe this is what happens to Lox.

"Two buffalo chicken wraps please and a couple of waters would be great!" I order for both of us. The girl looks to me then back at Lox who has his eyes averted towards his arm. She jots down our orders and walks away.

"I think she like you," I tease him hoping to get a smile out of him. I get a laugh out of him instead.

"Th...thanks f...for ordering."

"So, what's your schedule like during the week? You only have 3 classes, right?"

He nods. "Y...yeah I'm n...not v...very busy. I h...have PT a...and sp...speech th...therapy, and OT on W...Wednesdays."

"And you now go to college soccer games too!"
I'm keeping our conversation light.

He chuckles, "Y...yeah I d...do. Th...there's th..this incredible p...player I l...like t..to w..watch." I think he's flirting with me.

"You say longer more difficult words very clearly!"

"Hmm, n...no one kn...knows w...why." He shrugs.

He's rubbing his left forearm with his right hand. His arm experiencing a contracture.

"H...happens w...when I g...get t...tired," he notices me watching him.

I reach my arm across the table towards him, palm up, fingers outstretched and this time he's watching me.

"Can I try something that might help?" I invite him to give me his hand.

He takes a full minute to respond before using his right arm to push his left hand towards me and places it on top of mine.

I slowly use both my hands to wrap around his forearm and lightly begin massaging into his muscles with my fingers. He's curiously engulfed in what I'm doing, his full lips parted slightly, unsure of what to say or do, as he watches and waits.

His muscles are rigid but begin to loosen up after I gently press into them with smooth circular strokes. I move my way down to his wrist, massaging first and then moving his wrist around to ease the tension. When I get to his hand, I hear him take a deep breath. He releases a relieved sigh once he feels me massage each finger, bending and flexing them as I go.

"H...how d...did y..you know t...to d..do th...that?" He whispers.

"I read that massaging techniques help with muscle spasms and contractures." I release his hand from mine and smile as he moves his arm about more freely now. He has a smile on his face now too.

"Y...you d...did research a...about m...my condition?"

I nod, "I hope that's ok? I want to know about you and what you go through so I could maybe help if you need it."

"Wow," he says perfectly clearly and more to himself.

"I hope it's ok, what I did to your arm?"

"M...more th...than ok. Th...thank y...you."

"Always."

His eyes go wide when I say that and he drifts off for another moment. He's drifted off a lot today. I wonder if that's another symptom when he's over tired?

The waitress appears with our waters and our wraps and sets the plates down in front of us, but not before "accidentally" brushing her hand against his shoulder. This time Lox flinches back into his seat with a distressed expression on his face.

He still hates when people touch him. Not with me though, for some reason he's always learned to trust me.

The waitress apologizes for startling him and burrows her brows at him asking if we need anything else before she walks away from us.

I quickly take a bite of my sandwich to diffuse the situation. I don't want him feeling uncomfortable about things he can't control.

Lox follows my lead and tries a bite too.

"Mmm th...this is s...so g...good." He takes another few bites practically devouring his wrap and I can't help laugh a little.

"I'm glad you like it! Do you want another one?"

"Ha! N...no, one is...is f...fine."

"You're a guy, I'm sure you could eat six of those in one sitting."

He laughs again. "T..true."

The waitress drops our check onto the table and Lox reaches for it first. "I'm p...paying."

"What? No, I invited you so I should pay."

"N...no ch...chance." He hands his card to the waitress before I can protest again.

"Thanks Lox. Thank you for the coffee this morning and for having lunch with me."

"Y...you're w...welcome."

The girl hands him back his card and she looks in shock when she notices him using a cane to walk. I'm sure he gets that reaction a lot, it's so not fair.

I'm feeling brave so I offer him my hand again. He gives me a shy smile and slips his hand into mine.

We walk in peaceful silence until we reach the stairs again.

"G..going d...down m...makes m..me unsteady. D...do y...you m...mind holding on t..to m...my arm t...too?" He feels ashamed having to ask this of me, I can see the anxiety swirling around those ocean eyes.

"Of course." We're still holding hands so with my other I grip onto his upper arm as well. "Like this?"

"Yeah. Th...thanks."

He leads me down the steps one at a time. His legs both shake on the way down so I see why he needs more support.

We make it down and I feel the need to pull him into me, put my arm around his waist instead of his arm. Somehow I refrain and resort back to holding hands while we continue on our way to where Liam's waiting to give him a ride home.

Lox stops walking an ear shot away from where Liam's standing and releases my hand. He has a strange look on his face like he's upset about something.

Out of the blue he asks, "W...why m...me?"

"What?" I'm confused.

"W...why d...do y...you w...want t..to b...be friends w...with m..me? L...look at m...me." He lifts his cane and motions his hand over his body. "L...listen t...to m...my f...fucked up v...voice." His tone harsh his eyes glaring a darker shade.

"D...do y...you p...pity m...me?"

"Lox!" Liam raises his voice to him.

Loxley takes a few deep breaths. "F...fuck!"
He blurts out one last time before leaving me standing here and gets into Liam's car.

Shit! What did I do?

"I'm sorry Grey. He didn't mean any of that, believe me. It's part of his injury. I know he'll regret what he said later. Please don't take it to heart."

"Liam, l...let's g...go," we hear Lox from the opened window.

"Sorry," Liam says again before getting in the car and driving away.

Obviously, I spend the rest of the night wondering where things went wrong.

That wasn't like him, he was never harsh or upset with me like that in the past.

After Chase is asleep I do more research on brain injury and read that some people may have uncontrollable outbursts or say things they don't really mean to say. It's more common after a long day or too much exercise or over stimulation.

Maybe I made a mistake holding his hand. Maybe it was too soon, he wasn't ready. Maybe he was embarrassed that he needed my help with the stairs. I need to remember I'm new to him and he might not be comfortable asking for help. I could've done a number of things wrong.

If what Liam says is true, I know my "B" and he'll be beating himself up about what he said to me. It's not his fault. It's probably my mine, I triggered it somehow.

Me - Hey Lox. Thanks again for lunch and coffee this morning. I'll see you in class tomorrow. Good night.

I'm not sure if texting him was a mistake. I'm not sure of anything really.

3 dots appear on my screen to warn me he's typing. I wait patiently until the 3 dots disappear and there's no text from Lox.

I probably shouldn't text again. I need to know if he's alright though so I quickly text Liam.

Me - Hi Liam. I'm just checking to make sure Lox is ok?

Liam - Yeah, he's fine. He doesn't want to talk to me about what happened.

Liam - He'll be better tomorrow. Was probably tired. Please don't give up on him. He's figuring out that he likes you and it scares him.

It scares him. I've become his friend and he's afraid of losing me. I get it now. I'm more than familiar with that concept. I once opened myself up to him, allowed myself to love him even when my biggest fear was losing him. I did lose him and it was unbearable. Now I've come into his new life and offered him friendship. It's something he's needed and he's afraid of being alone again. I know because I feel the exact same way.

His outburst was real, it's his subconscious fear.

Me - I'd never give up on him, Liam, I promise.

Liam - Good night Greya. Thanks again for taking him to lunch today.

Me - Anytime. Good night!

Tomorrow I'll figure out how to fix this.