'And I just ran out of band-aids

I don't even know where to start

'Cause you can bandage the damage

You never really can fix a heart.'

*ALTHEA'S POV*

November 12, 2023.

"Is there a problem?"

Jordon's question hit me at the same time as the late-night breeze on our first step outside, both clashing with the heated air remaining in my tight chest, and it surely wasn't the only thing simmering in there.

"A problem? You show up today out of nowhere without warning and announce that you've already planned everything for me to volunteer at a clinic in New York in front of everyone at our table, without asking me. And you ask if there's a problem?" I burst out, taking in how out of breath I was when he pointed out calmly,

"Not out of nowhere. Out of New York, where you and I live."

Jordon raised eyebrows and arguments, never his voice, and while his ability to make everyone cool down had been one of the first things that I'd liked about him, at this instant, it washed over me like a freezing shower.

"And I would have warned you if you'd called me yesterday, or the day before."

"I... I got busy." I swallowed harshly, the ball of spitting annoyance that had been climbing up my throat now turning into a cold weight of guilt as I forced the words out of my mouth. "With preparing my business plan, going to the clinic, helping with Kylie and Pax's wedding..."

"It's fine. I don't blame you." He offered me a soft smile, understanding as always, as his hand reached for mine in a reconciliation gesture and an invitation for a walk at the same time.

It was the perfect place, after all.

The Dove castle was the most romantic spot in the area—after the Lotus hill—and its garden seemed to have been made to encourage intimacy with narrow gravelly paths surrounded by dense bushes that pushed two people closer, small sheltered nooks hiding in the dimness at every turn, the fountain sculpted with two lovebirds encouraging the most hopeful wishes... Everything leading to the illuminated gazebo, where Kylie and Paxton had promised each other forever earlier.

And yet, when we passed the white-petals-covered steps, never had I felt such distance between us, the gentle brush of his lips kissing my ringed finger getting lost in what must have been a pit between us. A pit of...

"One month since we haven't seen each other, don't you think it's too much, babe? I missed you a lot." He turned to face me, his brown gaze diving into mine as he seemed to have no trouble crossing that distance between us. "I wish I could stay longer, but I promise we'll start planning that holiday escape we talked about as soon as you're back in New York. When is your flight back?"

Whereas I averted my eyes down, searching for that abyss where my stomach was disappearing into as I stammered, "I... I don't have one... yet. You know I had to exchange my return ticket for a last-minute one, and I..."

"Didn't get the time?"

Maybe it wasn't a pit standing in our way; it was a mountain of excuses piling up and growing impassable with each word.

"It's fine. I can ask my assistant to book you one. Dimitri is used to finding last-minute tickets for me, and I'm sure he can find you one on sale for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?!" I dropped his hand, as if afraid he would drag me away, while my heart was already ticking the seconds to tomorrow, and although the thumps were racing too fast for me to count, I knew it wasn't enough. "It's too soon. I can't leave so abruptly like a..."

"Like you did last week in New York before our date?" he asked, his tone a mix of calm and assertive he'd mastered over years of handling tenacious clients.

However, it wasn't about a business matter here.

"It's different. It was an emergency. I've already explained, and you told me you understood."

"I still do. Like I've said, I don't blame you. But you can't blame me for worrying when I don't recognize you. You crossed the whole country in a frenzy of worry, all because of him."

Him. Here we were... He was the one standing between us, more than a pit and a mountain combined: the volcano Asher, and it was surely the reason why my voice spurted like a spit of seething lava through my clenching teeth.

"Because Asher fell and was in the ER. You have no idea of the memories it brought back for me."

"But he does."

"What do you mean by that?" I swallowed harshly every instinct pushing me to drop the subject and avoid this slippery slope... leading straight to the lava pit.

"I mean that it was convenient for him to fall the same day as your presentation and our date, and have Sarah tell you just a few words to make you worry, while today, he looks much better," he noted with a simple tilt of his head that made everything spin too fast inside mine.

"You mean that... he invented all of this?"

"We're talking about the man who faked his death, so why not? Have you seen how he's glared at me all day?"

He had a point, maybe even two, as always, his arguments well-thought-out. Yet some things couldn't be reasoned, only felt. Like the rush of rage that exploded through my chest when he added,

"Okay, he's a poor guy, but it's obvious that he's playing with your pity and trying everything to keep you clos—"

"He doesn't want my pity. He doesn't need my pity!" I spat out, the haunting AI tone Asher had used to first explain why he'd lied to me still echoing in the back of my mind, and it contrasted so much with my cracking voice as all the emotions I'd experienced since that day were currently raging inside my ribcage.

There still wasn't an ounce of pity, though.

"And he isn't a 'poor guy'. He's a man, incredibly strong, resilient, funny, passionate, stubborn and excessive sometimes, but it's never ill-intentioned. He's my best friend. He's my family. He's the man I—" Love.

The word didn't pass my lips. It didn't have to. The skip of my heart was strong enough to reach beyond my tight ribcage, reverberating against the satin-draped posts of the large gazebo like church bells as the silence turned deafening.

I surely should have searched for something to catch my slip, but it was as if a veil had been lifted from my eyes, letting me see everything more clearly as the past hours, the past month, the past year flashed before me... every moment that had led us to the inevitable.

"I think we should call off the engagement... us."

"What? Wait, don't you think it's... a little abrupt?" He blinked like someone trying to recover from a sudden fall, searching for clues in every piece of white around to understand how we'd ended up there, or maybe just for something to hold onto. "We can talk it out."

"Haven't we already said enough?" I croaked, my throat dry from everything that had been pronounced, or almost pronounced.

Yet I realized how much more was still weighing on my chest when I heaved a shallow sigh.

"You're right when you say you don't recognize me because the girl you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. It's not me."

While he looked exactly like the handsome man I'd first met at that charity gala: gray suit and crisp shirt—although, this time, it was spotless—fitting his broad shoulders, perfectly styled short hair, and large soft brown eyes fixed expectantly on each of my features.

"I promise I've always been sincere with my feelings, with you. But..."

How to put it into words, other than the one I'd almost screamed seconds ago?

Following his glance towards my left hand, which was gripping my peach pendant so tightly I could barely see the shiny diamond on my finger, it appeared obvious.

"I was missing a part of me, and... you deserve someone who will love you with all their heart." I let my lips twitch into a sorry smile, which he probably didn't catch as his gaze was following the shakes of my fingers sliding off the ring.

"If you're sure..."

My gestures were far less steady than the day he'd proposed, and it was what made me reply with a confident 'yes, I am' as I put the ring in his palm: the erratic pace of my heart, the quavers along my nerves, the tightness of my stomach... Mere sensations and emotions I had been too numb to feel when I'd first accepted to be his fiancé.

"Okay, well, I guess it's goodbye." He closed his hand over the ring, straightening up before meeting my eyes one last time. "Let me know when you're in New York, so we can arrange to get back our belongings."

And with this, it was over.

No scream, no tear, no curse. Like everything had always been with him: smooth, comfortable, easy... mild, including the pang in my chest as I watched him walk away.

But I needed more. I needed passionate, fiery, wild, and beyond. Like the throbbing of my heart when I stepped back inside the ballroom and didn't find Asher anywhere.

"He's just left," Felicia explained, clutching Kylie's bouquet the same way I held onto the hope that I could still catch up with him as I rushed out of the room before she could add anything else.

Thankfully, hers and everyone's attention were caught by Paxton taking off his wife's garter, though I doubted anything or anyone could have stopped me at this instant.

I didn't even mind the lack of oxygen when I reached the parking lot and caught sight of Asher getting into a taxi on the other end.

However, when I finally slid the car door open, everything hit me at the same time: the run I'd made from the far back of the garden to the front of the large castle, the course of the past minutes, and a familiar shade of penetrating jade.

"Wait! Asher, I..."

Here he was, his tall figure hunched at the dimly-lit back of the SUV, his right hand still on the seat belt, his loose bow tie hanging around his collar, the top buttons of his pale shirt undone, accentuating the slow movement of his Adam's apple as he took me in. And now what?

I hadn't thought about what I would tell him as I'd dashed here in a daze, only following the booming of my heart, which now seemed to hesitate about what to do first: cry, shout, laugh... kiss him? 

All I did was stand here frozen under his blazing stare.

"Is your girlfriend joining?" The driver suggested with a kind smile, the old man probably sympathizing with the girl who had almost jumped in front of his starting car.

Though the impact wouldn't have been stronger if he'd run over me than the one inside my ribcage when Asher replied sharply,

"No, she isn't."

His girlfriend or joining?

His tone left no room for either. Yet I couldn't blame him when the last time he'd seen me—about ten minutes ago—I'd been with my fiancé—now ex.

So much had happened in so little time. So much had to be said.

"You... you're leaving already?"

And it was the only thing that came out through the cracks of my voice, while he managed to imply too much with just a few words and a sharp nod of his chin at his strained left fist.

"Yeah, s'not like I'll catch the garter."

"But you could... dance." I attempted a shy smile, not sure where I was going with this, except that each of my nerve endings was pulled in the same direction as I extended my left hand. "With me?"

"Ask your fiancé," he seethed, as if his piercing gaze hadn't been searing the bare skin of my ring finger since the moment I'd opened the door, the same way it burned through me as I whispered,

"I don't have one anymore. I... broke up with Jordon because I—"

"Don't care. Go find someone else."

"I don't want someone else." The protest fired straight from my chest, surely a little too loud, knowing we weren't alone, but I couldn't quieten the scream from my heart anymore. "I want you. I love—"

"I can't fucking d-dance with you," he hissed, with enough strength through his clenched teeth to make me flinch back, though what really knocked my wind out was the silent quavering breath he forced out of his ticking jaw before he continued,

"Even if I wanted, m'not sure I can even get out of that car. Walking three meters fucking drained me. I fought all night to not show anything, taken pill after pill, and I'm still hurting everywhere."

He was exhausted. It hit me at this instant; all these cords of tension were just a way to cover the obvious signs of his struggle, maybe even hold everything together from his slumping shoulders to the shakes of his right hand as he ran his fingers through his disheveled strands of hair.

"It's fine. We don't have to dance. I don't care about dancing." I quickly shook my head, my hand reaching for his distorted left fist.

When had it ever been about dancing?

There was so much more traveling with the spark between our shaky fingers.

"I love you. I just want to spend time with you. We can talk. We can sleep, cuddle, do nothing. It doesn't matter as long as we're together."

"And then what?" he murmured, a quiet rasp, barely a crack through his tense facade, yet enough for a glimmer of hope to seep through his clear gaze as all these images danced behind them: us lying together in bed, his arm wrapped around me, my lips trailing 'I love yous' everywhere to melt away any inch of tension and pain, the uneven rhythm of his heart lulling me to sleep... the familiar scent of home waking me up slowly... day after day... and beyond...

"Imagine our wedding."

I pictured it. With these three little words, for a brief instant, I glimpsed forever in his piercing eyes.

However, before I could reply with an 'I do', he closed them tightly.

"I wouldn't be able to walk the aisle and d-dance with you. Let's not even talk 'bout the wedding night. You deserve better."

"Asher, you will get better. Have you seen all the progress you've made in just a few weeks? We aren't getting married tomorrow. We have time." Despite how fast everything was rushing as he tried to untangle his fingers from mine. "And even if you can't dance, it's fine. We don't have to do all these fancy things. We can elope in Vegas, or not get married at all. You know I've never cared about all of that."

In fact, I'd once been a terrified girl who didn't believe in love or relationships. I could still feel her in every erratic thud of my heart, yet I could also hear the confident voice of the guy who had proved her wrong one day at a time.

"I can be your Peachy, and you'll be my—"

"Nothing." He re-opened his eyes, revealing an unwavering jade shade even more cutting than the two syllables as it pierced straight to a still raw wound.

The last time I'd seen that look had been three years ago, and like that haunting day, I felt it all slipping through my fingers: my breath, my arguments... him, as he pushed my hand away and reached for the sliding car's door.

"I'll never be a f-full abled man like you deserve, so I'd rather be nothing than become your burden or charity case."

"Asher, no, please, don't do this... again," I croaked, taking in how desperate I looked as his gaze followed the trail of tears streaming down my cheeks, and then, it was my reflection through the car's window.

I could have easily blocked the door before it closed, of course, but it would have only sealed his idea that he couldn't take care of me, and with it, our fate.

Was there even a glimmer of hope left when the car's lights blurred in the faraway?

After all, if he hadn't changed his mind in more than three years, why would he now? Why was I still waiting for a happily-ever-after when he was convinced he could never be my knight in shining armor?

Why couldn't he understand that love was so much more than those old-fashioned fairytales?

It was about sharing, being strong when the other couldn't, like Kylie and Paxton had promised to each other today, and they looked happier than ever when I discreetly walked back into the castle hallway to retrieve my things. Well, at least, until they noticed my heart-broken face, stopping them in their rush to leave.

"Oh, Thea, are you okay?" My best friend ran to me, not minding her large gown, nor the mascara staining my cheeks as she wrapped her arms around me.

"I..." No, I wasn't. "Don't want to spoil your big day. Don't worry about me."

"Thea, nothing can spoil this day." She pulled away, and indeed, even with her eyebrows furrowing as she took in my bare left hand, there was something beaming in her, something I almost envied. "But what could make me happier is to see you happy too."

"And if you became her sister-in-law," Paxton added from over her shoulder.

"Pax! We're supposed to be supportive and unbiased friends. Let her explain first," she scolded as he threw his hands up, and even then, they looked so cute that they managed to stretch the tiniest smile on my lips.

"It's fine. I guess it's obvious. I broke up with Jordon, and I'm in love with Asher. But I don't think I can become your sister-in-law, though. He doesn't want me as... anything." I shook my head, unsure what I was trying to wipe out more: the tears, his sharp words, or the white daydream he'd let me glimpse for an instant.

"Come on, we all know it's not true. You're his everything," Paxton assured, handing me his handkerchief as he patted my shoulder like a true brother. "He just can't show it like normal people."

"He always has to take everything beyond..." Including our relationship.

Thinking about it, he'd been the one taking the lead in most of our important moments, making them unique from our first encounter to the first date he'd taken me, from the way he'd made us official to his invitation to move in together, from the start to the end, which he'd chosen too.

But maybe, it was my turn to fight for us and... "Maybe I should go beyond too."

"Ooh, I don't know what's your idea, but I like it, and if you need anything, you can count on us," Kylie announced, giving me the faith I needed as I slowly lifted my gaze from the peach pendant at my neck to her encouraging smile.

"Anything?"

Author's note: Anything? Do you have any idea what she has in mind? Tell me in the comments! 👀

It has to be beyond *wink wink* because Asher seems pretty resolute about the fact he's not good enough. Who's shed a tear during their fight? 🤧🤧 Or maybe during her break-up with Jordon? (lol I think we were all waiting for this, weren't we?)

I hope you liked this chapter, and if so, don't forget to vote ⭐ and comment!

We're getting closer and closer to the end, my little Peaches. I can count the remaining chapters in this story on one hand 🙈, and your support since chapter 1 means the world to me, so I wanted to thank you ❤️.

Don't worry, the best parts are coming though, so I'll see you in the next chapter! 😘🧡