Just a quick note to tell you the link to the Spotify playlist in the external link at the end of the chapter, if you want to find all the songs I put in the headers 😘.

*PAXTON (ASHER'S BROTHER)'S POV*

March 9, 2020.

There were some phone calls you should never have made in your life.

No, I wasn't talking about breaking up with a two-month girlfriend in high school or endless hold music while waiting for a job answer.

I realized those were nothing when I'd had to click on my parents' contact name, and when they'd started explaining about a virus interrupting the Mediterranean cruise they'd been dreaming about for years, I'd had to cut them off to tell them their son, the red and crying bundle of life they'd brought home when I'd only been two and who had grown up to become my best friend, had been in a grave car crash on his way out of their home.

If it hadn't been enough, it was followed by a call to his agent to cancel his special practice with the Lakers, and with it, his dreams, indefinitely, because he was already fighting for his life.

Still, the phone in my trembling hands really became a ticking bomb when the screen lit up with that one name. Althea.

How did you announce all of that to the love of his life?

I had no word for it, and when she hadn't replied to my first call and the followings, I'd cowardly hoped she wouldn't phone me back until Asher would be able to talk to her and tell her everything was fine.

But here we were, thirty minutes later. My fingers waited until the last ring to slide on the screen, and still, I had no word, the echoes of my mom's sobbed gasps and my dad's empty breaths only making my mouth drier.

I couldn't even utter a 'hello', so I let her speak first.

"Paxton? You called me ten times?"

"Yes, it's about Asher."

"I stop you right here, if he asked you to convince me—"

"No, he didn't." I swallowed harshly, though, with the shuffling echoing through the other side of the phone, she surely didn't catch it, just like the ticking of the bomb that had now moved on the tip of my tongue. "Where are you? Are you alone?"

"I'm on the campus. Why?"

Good, she wasn't driving, and she wasn't alone if she felt faint. But now, I couldn't avoid it anymore.

"Paxton?"

"Asher got in a serious car crash. They've taken him into intensive care." I let it all out in one go, like a bomb, my eyes closing instinctively for the explosion.

But even if my ears were ringing with the words I still hadn't processed myself, the blast happened on the other side of the line, thuds and rumbling echoes reaching me from there.

I almost believed she'd tumbled down until her voice arose, breathless and cracking.

"What? No, no, I... Can I talk to him?"

"Althea, he's in IC. They're operating on him right now. It's been over 30 minutes, and I don't know how long it'll take."

"No, no, it's not possible. He's just texted me less than an hour ago, saying he'll meet me at the airport tonight, and..." She broke into a shaky sigh, the sound tearing too loudly through the phone, or maybe, it was just in my chest.

"It surely happened a few minutes later. I don't know... They only told me he was already unconscious when the paramedics arrived, and he wasn't at fault in the crash."

It didn't matter much in the end, but she didn't need to carry guilt on top of all.

"Why did they call you and not me? I should've been by his side... It's my fault..."

"No, it's no one's fault, and he's put me as his emergency contact since that time in high school when he ended up at the police station. He probably forgot to change it. You know him, and he'll never ever be mad at you," I assured for her, for me, and into the universe. "I'm sure he'll tell you when he wakes up, and you'll be by his side."

At least, with her, it worked, as the clacks of her heels grew louder and faster, along with her breaths, and she told me she was on her way out of campus.

"Do you want Kylie to pick you up?"

"No, no, I'm already at my car. I'll be there faster."

"Okay, but still be careful."

With a sigh, I conceded to give her the location because if she had one thing in common with my brother, it was her stubbornness.

"I'm in the waiting room. You'll see. It's indicated, and there's a big vending machine and..." I glanced around, taking in my surroundings for the first time since I'd dashed there.

It looked like any other hospital hallway: dizzying white walls displaying various recommendations, blinding neon lights, a nerve-wracking 'DO NOT ENTER' sign on double doors that seemed to never open, and plastic seats that the few people on them were too tense to even feel how uncomfortable they were.

"A really big vending machine." My gaze came back there, focusing on the different kinds of coffee available: cappuccino, mocha, espresso, and double-shot espresso.

Hopefully, the last one would help me hold on a few more minutes.

Just a few more minutes.

... hours

... days...

***

March 13, 2020.

Four days.

I stared at the brown liquid flowing from the vending machine that seemed to never run out, contrary to me who was hanging by that fine trickle of caffeine.

A double-shot espresso, a few more minutes... I still had to hold on.

My parents were still stuck at Rome airport. Asher still hadn't woken up.

The doctors said he was stable. Stable. That wasn't Asher.

Asher was the guy to parade through the whole town in a too-tight speedo for a bet, and make you do it with him. The one to accuse you of cheating every time he didn't win at the Xbox because he 'never lost'. But also the one to surprise you on your birthday with the skydive you'd always dreamed of—without warning you to eat light before.

He was excessive, bold, impassioned... not stable.

I couldn't imagine him 'stable', in a hospital bed, hooked with various tubes and a machine beeping steadily.

Maybe because I hadn't seen him.

Visits were restricted in the ICU, and people in a coma couldn't get any visitors, since there were covid cases in the hospital. That fucking virus again.

I cursed it again and again, like the truck driver who had chosen to have a heart attack and die across my brother's road, as I was the one becoming excessive. Or maybe I'd just had too much coffee.

Still, I took a sip of the bitter liquid, letting it burn through the lump in my throat, as it was one of the only things helping me hold on.

"Come on, you have to eat at least a little."

More efficient than the caffeine, the dulcet voice loosened my tight throat, allowing for a deep breath to pass as I turned around and found her petite figure on a blue chair. Kylie. She was the main reason I hadn't broken down yet.

"What Asher will say when he finds out you've been starving yourself?"

She'd told me the same thing this morning, though her tone was even more patient as Althea took a hesitant bite of her cereal bar, and her blue eyes watched her as attentively as a mom in front of a toddler's first snack.

To be honest, I might have been looking over her the same way. I'd regarded Althea as a little sister long since, but at this instant, the tall and colorful girl I knew was curled up in my brother's oversized shirt, and she resembled a lonely kid, abandoned on the school steps.

As a comparison, the dark circles under my eyes and tense features I'd just glimpsed through the shiny vending machine looked like nothing. So I couldn't even imagine on the inside.

Well, I knew that if I could have died for my brother, she... she couldn't live without him.

He was her boyfriend, her best friend, her only family, her everything, and she'd gone through so much in her life already. If— No. I shook my head, not letting the thought form in my mind.

Asher was strong, and I had to be too. So with another sip of coffee, I walked back to my laptop and the dozens of emails about canceled shipments to handle while my dad was away from the business.

Just a few more minutes...

"Family of Asher Rohan?"

This time, it was really just a few more minutes before the double doors opened, and it took me one more to process these words, my eyes glancing everywhere around, as if the man in a white coat walking towards us could have been talking to anyone else, when it had only been Althea, Kylie, and me for the past two days.

Everyone else had left with good or heartbreaking news, or had found it useless to wait here when visits were restricted. Nevertheless, I remembered the reason we'd stayed anyway when the doctor announced,

"He's awake."

My hand flew to my mouth, letting go of my half-empty cup of coffee as I broke into something between a sob and a sigh of relief, thanking god.

I wasn't even a believer, yet you discovered a lot about yourself in these white and asepticized surroundings. Like how quickly you could get up with nothing but worry in your stomach.

"Can we see him?" Althea was even faster, appearing beside me and making me jump, as I'd almost forgotten she was about my height when she wasn't in a curled-up form.

She still had the puppy eyes of a lost toddler, though, as she was hanging on the doctor's wincing lips.

"Yes, but only one person."

"Althea will go." It wasn't a question, even if her frantic nods confirmed it, her movements only freezing when the doctor asked,

"Are you his wife? Because it's only the close family?"

"No, but I'm his girlfriend, and I..."

"Long-time girlfriend, and she's like family. As his brother, I'm totally okay with her going," I added, hoping to put more weight on her pleading pout, which was already making the man's frown give way.

"I understand, but I'm not the one who makes the rules."

"Can't you make a little exception? We've got in a fight before, and... I really need to see him. Please, I promise we won't tell anyone," Althea begged before I could pull out my argument, and honestly, if the cracks in her voice didn't stop the shakes of the doctor's head, I doubted the single bill left in my wallet would have.

But I had something else up my sleeve, a hand sliding down my forearm, more exactly.

"Yes, for your patient. We know Asher will feel better if he sees Althea."

As always, Kylie appeared at the right time, and even though she didn't convince the doctor, the hold of her hand prevented me from crumbling down.

"Listen, if it was only up to me, I would say yes. However, they're getting really strict with everything happening, and you're already lucky because, in a few days, visitors surely won't be allowed at all."

He sighed, the sound as heavy as the drop of my stomach, and it drew my attention to the man's features beyond the white coats and baring-news title for the first time: the marked lines on his forehead and the few white hair contrasting with his otherwise, rather young face.

"I have lots of patients and little time, so I can't do anything more."

"Okay, I'll go," I spoke up, avoiding him another argument, as it was a useless battle we were all too tired to have.

Besides, we would have only lost precious time, time where Asher was probably freaking out.

"I'll explain everything, and he'll understand. I can even bet you that as soon as he's out, he'll drag you to Vegas."

That managed to lift the corners of Althea's lips because we all knew I could win lots of money with this, and her glistening eyes lit up like she could almost see the casinos' lights, like a kid hoping for her Christmas gift, as the previous conversation had already made her shrivel back into that fragile appearance.

"Tell him I love him, and I'm here waiting for him. Tell him I miss him so much. Tell him I'm waiting for his good luck kiss..."

I nodded, while she listed more and more, her instructions not stopping when I kissed Kylie's hand and her forehead, nor when I walked away, and when the double doors closed behind me, it was the doctor's that took over, not leaving me a second to breathe.

"I don't know if you're aware, but in intensive care, everyone entering the patients' room has to wear masks, gowns, and gloves."

I was aware, thanks to Kylie's obsession for medical TV shows. Though the hallways we crossed were quieter than the ones on TV.

There were no nurse making out with a doctor, no patients rushed on stretchers, or open views of operating rooms, only the thuds of my heart, the humming of machines, and a faint hubbub from what I guessed was a staff room, and all of these faded to nothing when we stopped in front of a door.

Finally, after days, hours, minutes, I was about to see my brother, and it remained solely that door between us—that door and the blue packet the doctor handed me.

"I also have to warn you before we go in," he started slowly, too slowly in comparison to my caffeine-driven movements to unfold the bag. "Your brother got in a severe accident, and he just woke up from a 4-day coma, so he won't look like the last time you saw him.

"We already talked about the below-the-knee amputation we had to do."

"Yes." I swallowed harshly, the fact I'd pushed in one of the many knots of my stomach coming back in the lump of my throat.

Along with the thought of Asher's reaction, there was no more room in my windpipe for air to pass, and even less for whatever the doctor's careful tone was trying to bring up.

"We also explained about the head trauma, right? That we can really see the damages once he wakes—"

"Is he amnesiac?" I blurted out as the many dreadful possibilities I'd held down for the past days were all rushing back.

"No, no, his memories and mental awareness seem perfectly fine so far."

At least, it was a good news, and it annihilated some of the worst scenarios clogging up my throat, allowing a sigh of relief to come out, although it wasn't enough for the oxygen to reach my lungs fully.

"Then can I just see him? I've got four days to prepare for the worst, and I understand if he's tired and groggy. I just want to say hi."

I had my mask on, shoe covers, gown, and hairnet, and my gloved hands were about to clasp together in plead when the door opened on a nurse wearing the same equipment.

"Oh Doctor Sanders, is it a visitor for Mr. Rohan?"

His 'yes' was surely more to answer her question than mine, but when I caught sight of the end of a bed, and she stepped aside with a 'you've heard that Mr. Rohan? Someone's coming to say hi', nothing could stop me.

Not even the sight I still wasn't prepared for.

My steps may have wavered as I took in the figure that didn't look like my brother in a hospital bed, but I didn't let my gaze linger too much as it traveled from the missing shape under the blanket to the catheters along his arms, the bandages and bruises covering almost every inch of his skin, and up to his shaved head.

After all, hair grew back, bruises faded, wounds healed, and I'd already dug enough in the black hole of Google searches to know people with artificial legs could do almost everything normally. The most important was that he was alive, and now, we had to focus on moving forward.

That was what froze me as I arrived at his side and brought my fist forward.

"Hey, little bro."

CLIFFHANGER!! 🙈🙈

Why do you think Paxton froze? 🤔 I think you might have a few guesses, so leave them in the comments here!

Also, what do you think of Paxton? Much different from his brother, isn't he? I think he's so sweet, trying to hold on for everyone. 🥺

I hope you liked this chapter, and if so, don't forget to vote ⭐ and comment all your thoughts!

Also, don't forget to add the story to your library/reading lists and follow me (if you haven't already), so you know when I update the next chapter, which you won't want to miss... 🤭🤫

Just a little bit longer... In the meantime, I love you!! 😘