'Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lying on the floor

Where were you, where were you?'

*ALTHEA'S POV*

October 11, 2023.

"You didn't tell me you were back in town?"

I blinked at the towel and cardigan Kylie was handing me, everything appearing too normal, from the cute dog licking my wet sneakers to Paxton walking in with a cup of tea, and from the faraway rumble of the storm outside to the photos on the chest of drawers beside me, where I could recognize some double dates and family dinners I'd partaken in.

Almost as if I'd just stopped by to say hello to old friends.

Well, it looked like it through the blur of my incessant tears, as the tsunami had reached my eyes on my way here, and I didn't have the strength to hold it back anymore as I accepted her towel.

"Why? So you could have warned him?" My gaze stopped on a picture, where I could glimpse Asher's profile as he played with Cucciolo, the same dog that cowered away at the sound of my words.

I hadn't expected that much bitterness seeping through the cracks of my voice. I hadn't expected it could hurt more.

Yet it did, the small dagger stabbed through my back pricking the gashed wound of my open chest as I looked at the girl who had been the closest thing I'd ever had to a sister, avoiding my gaze.

"Thea, I..."

"It's not her fault. I'm the one who lied to you that day." Paxton stepped by her side, his green eyes meeting mine for the first time since he'd opened the door, and there, I could take in the slight differences with his little brother: the specks of gold his irises didn't have, or the fact that he never abandoned his girlfriend. "She didn't know at first. This is only between you, me and—"

"Asher," I breathed out the two syllables that had been hovering in the silence because I knew it was him that was behind their fleeting glances. Just like they'd understood he was the one behind my tear-filled eyes the second they'd seen me.

"Why? Why did he do that?" The question must have sounded really pitiful because Cucciolo walked back to me, resting his muzzle on my foot as he gazed up at me with puppy eyes. A lot like Paxton as he rubbed the back of his neck and peered at me from under his brows.

"It's not my story to tell. You should talk to him."

"Really? I've come all the way here." Their house was farther from the cemetery than the clinic. "And it's all you're gonna say?"

My shoulders drooped with defeat as I already guessed the answer, and looking between the cardigan in Kylie's hands and the single cup resting on the coffee table, I wondered why I'd even come here.

"No, we're gonna tell you how sorry we are." Kylie tried a tiny smile, and it wasn't only because of my tears that it appeared blurry and shaky. "Even if it doesn't change much..."

"Yes, what we've done is unforgivable. I've regretted it since the second I told you that... lie," Paxton continued, well, with a harsh swallow, as if he could still taste the words in the back of his throat. "I swear the aim was never to hurt you."

At this point, I had three pairs of puppy eyes on me, and although I didn't dare decipher the blur of emotions in them, they looked truthful, begging me to stay until the storm passed, at least.

A part of me wished it too, that a cardigan could have warmed the shivers seeping into my bone, and that a cup of tea could have washed what tasted bitter than poison in my insides. I wished that apologies could be enough.

"But you did."

***

October 12, 2023.

Kylie and Paxton were really trying to redeem themselves.

If I hadn't understood with their many apologies and attentions last night, it was obvious this morning, when I texted Kylie to know if there was another way to get to Asher's room without taking the main entrance, and in less than a minute, I had the full detailed directions from Paxton and a 'you can stop at the bakery after, if you need to talk or just some double chocolate chips cookies' from Kylie.

It was my favorites, and although I had no room in my stomach for her pastries, the more I thought about it, the less I was mad at them. Or at least, I realized I wasn't as furious as I was at Asher because I knew how convincing he could be, nor as angry as I was at myself because I could have found out the truth.

If I'd just come back to visit his 'grave' once. If I hadn't walked away without a second glance. If I hadn't been a coward... And yet, that was what I'd been last night too, running away and going to Kylie and Paxton for answers, instead of facing him.

Him. Asher.

It still felt surreal as I parked the car to go see him.

A part of me even dreaded it was all a dream, or I'd entered a parallel world. But at the same time, it made more sense than anything else, and everything appeared more real: the chirping of birds rejoicing in the dew from last night's storm as I crossed the small park behind the clinic, the shades of green and brown on the hallway walls as I entered through a back door, and the coward surge to run away in my legs as, after a turn, I arrived directly at the door number 15.

Maybe I should have taken the longer way. Maybe I should have—

"Go back to where you come from!"

Despite the order, the robotic voice arising from the other side of the closed door had the opposite effect on me as I froze and soon, leaned closer to hear more.

"I'm not in the mood to be your failing guinea pig."

"You're not 'failing' anything. You've just made tremendous progress yesterday, and we should use this impetus in your brain to try more," a woman replied, and I supposed she was a doctor, from her patient tone, while I had no doubt about the one who interrupted her. "It's rare and—"

"Tremendous? My ass! I barely moved two inches, and I didn't even manage to pull her back."

This was Asher. Even with the toneless voice, the frustration was resonating in the air, and I pictured his grand gestures as he paced around the room before I remembered he couldn't move half of his body and was probably in his bed, with nothing but the tablet to let it all out.

"So you can keep your 'tremendous' speech for the newcomers, or shove it up your asses, I don't fucking care!"

"Mr. Rohan! Do I have to remind you we're in a children's clinic here? If you keep using curse words and loud volume, we'll take your tablet away." The woman's warning tone imposed silence, surely something she'd practiced with kids, and it even managed to make Asher lower his volume.

"Yeah, so I'll really be sitting here like a fucking houseplant."

Maybe I'd talked too soon...

"If I recall, you used your voice yesterday, though."

This woman definitely had an unwavering patience, almost as unfailing as Asher's stubbornness, and I wasn't sure if it was the fear of how he would retaliate to the brave woman or just the echo of last night's shout, 'Althea, wait!' lingering in the back of my mind like the throbbing I desperately tried to ignore, but anyway, my trembling fist connected with the door before any coward instincts could react.

When it finally processed, two wide eyes had already replaced the green paint, a young man blinking at me.

"Hi... Sorry to interrupt, um, I can come back lat—"

"No! Althea..."

Could a computer voice hold cracks and rises?

Well, the sound and volume were the same ones he'd used to swear, yet the look in Asher's eyes distorted the vibrations in the air and in my chest when he appeared on the other side of the room in a wheelchair.

The jade shades held the transparency of a plead and the fierceness of a command, and highlighted by the dark circles under, they turned the shallowest breath deafening. Not mine though, as I wasn't breathing until he averted his gaze down to his tablet.

"Can you leave us alone, please?"

With those monotonous words, I followed his eyes to the side and remembered the people around: the young man still by the door, and three other persons with the same white coats and notebooks, including an older woman whose voice I recognized from earlier.

"Of course, if it's asked so nicely." She nodded with a pointed look between Asher and me before walking out, followed in tow by the others—surely students from the way they scrutinized us like.... guinea pigs indeed.

It had been one of the reasons why I'd avoided the main entrance: the curious glances and whispers of people who had undoubtedly heard about last night's 'incident', along with the possibility of scaring the kids, as no amount of foundation could cover my drawn features from my sleepless night, nor the smokey eyeshadow could outshine the bloodshot red of my eyes from crying for half of it.

I looked like I'd come back from the dead, and actually, I felt like it too.

When the click of the door closing left me alone in the room with him, I could take in how sore every part of my body was, and every unsteady thud of my heart beat it up a little bit more.

"You can take a seat if you want," Asher offered, and my legs followed his nod to the chair across from him before I could consider the inches he was winning over me.

Between my knees already giving out, and my brain battling the tiredness, I wasn't in the best state to face him.

Yet I would get no rest until I had answers.

"Did you hear everything?"

The question pulled me out of my thoughts and on my feet in less than a second, and not even the dizziness prevented me from pointing my index finger at him as I asserted,

"Oh no, you're not the one asking questions here."

With how shaky my finger was, I wasn't sure how I could make him lower his gaze, but he did, quickly typing with a sigh.

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

There was so much I needed to know. Why had he done that? How could he have done that? Who else was involved in that? When he'd waken up after nearly dying, hadn't he wanted to see me?

And many more I didn't have the breath for as I took a shaky inhale through my clogged nose and replied,

"The truth."

CLIFFHANGER!! I've warned you. 🙈

Who's ready to hear Asher's truth? 👀

Well, you gotta wait a little bit more. But in the meantime, don't forget to vote ⭐ and comment all your thoughts!!

Do you think she should forgive Paxton and Kylie? At least, for the cookies 😉!

And what about Asher? We'll wait and see for his explanations... 👀

I'll let you make all your suppositions, and in the meantime, I love you, my little peaches! Thank you for all the support you're showing me 🥰😘💗.

PS: I'm having so much fun writing Asher and his excessiveness lol! What do you think about all those curse words? 😂