When someone walks slower than me:

Dude, you're walking so slow you're clogging up the hallway, put some pep in your step, grandma.

When someone walks faster than me:

Omg dude, are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt

When someone walks at the same pace as me:

Who gave your creepy self permission to walk beside me get away before I call the cops