Lui: My boyfriend's too tall for me to reach when I want to kiss him. What should I do?

Silas: Kick him in the nuts. When he bends over, kiss him. 

Ren Wu: Oh- I know this problem. Establish your position as the dominant top, and then knock his knees in with a stick, so he bends over, then kiss him. 

Valt: Dump him. 

Lui, Silas, Ren Wu: Valt? 

Valt: I said what I said.

Free: NONE OF THOSE, JUST ASK ME TO BEND DOWN GODDAMNIT LUI

~~~~~

Shu: Here Fubuki, why don't we stop our training session for today, you're doing amazing, and I'll teach you how to make spaghetti carbonara!

Fubuki: Sure! 

Shu and Fubuki: *Father-son vibes*

~

Lui: Alright. Uh. What was your name again?

Suoh: Suoh?

Lui: Yeah you. You suck. Train harder. 

Suoh: *Other side comes out* BITCH THE FUCK YOU SAY

Lui: BITCH I SAID WHAT I SAID! 

~~~~~~

Xander: *Obviously drunk* Quon... I just love Ren Wu ya know? Ren Wu is so pretty. Especially when he jumps down from the sky majestically-

Quon: *eye-twitching* Yes. I know. You've talked to me about this 167827502567386563882657834 times. 

Xander: Just... he probably doesn't love me back.

Quon: 

Quon: *On the phone* Ren Wu? Yeah. I know it's Xander's night out with his best friend, me. Yes, he's okay. I can't take it anymore, get your boyfriend outta my sight. Now. 

~~~~~~

Valt: That was a life-changing experience! 

Toko: We almost died.

Nika: Life-changing!

Toko: 

Toko: Yeah, it was life-changing, I love family trips, what about you?

Ryota and Daigo: *Sweat-drops*

~~~~~~

Kit: I love Toko.

Honey: I love Nika.

Kit: 

Honey: 

Kit: If we get married, we can be siblings-

Honey: That wasn't the first thing on my mind, but yeah let's go with that.

Kit: What was it?

Honey: I was about to say orgy, but then that wouldn't work, because Toko and Nika are siblings. And we're gay. 

~~~~~~~

Ranjiro: So, when did you know you were gay?

Rantaro: Beyblade is probably the gayest sport out there Ranjiro, you join, you probably gay for the rest of your life.

Ranjiro: Yeah, makes sense. All the hot boys Blade!

~~~~~~

Naru: Aiger, how is it dating a Prince?

Aiger: It's nice, but it's kinda hard, eating an ENTIRE ROOM ACROSS FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN ALL YOU WANNA DO IS HOLD HIS HAND!

Xavier: *Sweat-drops*

~~~~~~

Fubuki: Suoh, I love you, but we need to talk about your sleep-walking issues.

Suoh: What do you mean?

Fubuki: Suoh, YOU LITERALLY WALKED OUTTA THE BED, GRABBED YOUR FLOWER SCISSORS AND STARTED SNIPPING EVERYWHERE! YOU ALMOST KILLED ME SUOH!

Suoh: So that was the cuts on the bedsheets. I thought something else happened. 

Fubuki: I hate you. I hate you but I love you.

Suoh: That's one of the occupational hazards of dating me.

Fubuki: *On the phone* Dad? Yeah, please come pick me up I'm scared. What? I don't care if you're in America. I don't care if you need to manage the Raging Bulls, come pick me up. No? Fine I'll ask Valt.

~~~~~~~

Kris: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

Shasa: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Kris: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

~~~~~~

Daigo: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Valt: Anything, honestly, but emo kids called Daigo especially

Daigo, desperately, as Valt bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Valt: Oh! B positive.

Daigo: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Valt:

~~~~~~~

Valt, pointing: May I sit there?

Shu: That's my lap

Valt: That doesn't answer my question, Shu.

~~~~~~

Young Kris: Where are you going Free?

Young Free: I don't like it here, so I'm leaving.

Young Kris: But you haven't brought your deer plushie.

Young Free: Real men don't need plushies.

Young Kris: I'll tell your deer plushie that.

Young Free: NO DON'T I'LL STAY!

~~~~~~

Free: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Rantaro: *chugs entire bottle*

Rantaro: It's perfume.

~~~~~~

Gumita: Tobisuke sneezed the other night and I accidentally said "shut the fuck up" instead of "bless you"

Nika: *Setting down her pint of beer* How do you accidentally say "shut the fuck up"?

~~~~~~

Kit: *Knocking on Toko's door* I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Kit: Hellooo? Amazing person? Angel, I'd defend with my life? Cinnamon roll? The better twin? Too good for this world? 

Toko: *Angry* Sorry doesn't bring back my M&M's Kit. Nika would you please?

Nika: *Closing the door behind her* Let's have a little talk

~~~~~

Aiger: I guess I'm just too tough to cry! 

Fubuki: Last night you were crying about snakes.

Aiger: ThEy DoN't HaVe AnY aRmS

~~~~~~

Shu: How was life today?

Xander: Lui pushed Zac off the see-saw

Shu: And what did you do?

Xander: I was over on the bench.

Zac: YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED, AND DID NOTHING?

Xander: Yeah, cause I sitting over on the bench.

Lui: *Trying not to laugh* So you saw what happened, and did nothing?

Xander: YEAH! BECAUSE I WAS SITTING OVER ON THE GODDAMN BENCH!

~~~~~~~

Ashtem: If a Blader loses, they get kicked out of the Snake Pit. A hole opens up under them, and they go flying out.

Snake Pit People: *Sweat-drops*

Norman: lol on your way out do a flip

~~~~~~~

Shasa: For the last time Kris, I'm not Bi!

Kris: Well I'm not, Bi-ing it! 

~~~~~~~

Lui: I'm so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet.

Free: Bitch what the fuck am I huh? THE ROACH YOU JUST FUCKED?

Lui: No, I pour all my love out on you. Now I'm just horny and angry.

~~~~~~

Laban: So I was walking around right?

Xavier and Aiger: Mhm

Laban: I was walking around on the Battleship, and then I decided to do a lil fortune thing right?

Xavier and Aiger: Mhm

Laban: And the PHI COMES OUTTA FUCKING NOWHERE AND SHATTERS ALL FUCKING LAWS OF PHYSICS HE RUINED MY FORTUNE TELLING AND DOESN'T SAY SORRY!

Aiger: Hoe you better make sure those fortunes are one of us drowning the bitch.

Laban: Of course my dude.

Xavier: Preferably me, the hero always vanquishes the bad guy.

Aiger: While your at it, can you find a fortune that tells us when Xavier will shut the fuck up.

Laban: Of course my fellow hoe.

Aiger: Thank you hoe.

~~~~~~~~

Rickson: How is everyone today?

Rantaro: Pretty decent!

Shasa: Alright

Silas: Busy training.

Cuza: A-Okay!

Valt: Slowly dying inside, but we don't talk about that because I'm the classified happy person, so I can't feel any other emotion besides anything positive.

Everyone: 

Valt: What? Huh? Oh, I'm fine.

Rickson: You good bro?

~~~~~~~~

Ashtem: Boa, Red-Eye is missing, can you find him?

Boa: Why are you asking me?

Ashtem: Don't you have some micro-chip planted in him?

Boa:

Boa: Yeah I do, hold on.

~~~~~~

Ben: *Growls*

Ken: Ben says he doesn't like you, person in the red Honda

Ben: *Growls*

Ken: Yes I know, we'll get McDonald's soon. 

Ben: *Rolls eyes*

Ken: Well, Ben, we're 20, married, in a car, stuck in traffic, trying to get to McDonald's in Rush Hour traffic, I've completely abandoned Keru and Besu and put them in the cup holders, can translate your growls, and you still have the audacity to be mad at me?

Ben: 

Ben: Seems like you can't fucking translate my eye rolls, because that meant I wanted to hold your hand.

Ken: Fuck off Ben, I love you, but I don't want us to die, because I need TWO HANDS TO DRIVE

Ben: 

Ben: I'm sorry Ken. I love you.

Ken: I love you too Ben, sorry I snapped at you.

~~~~~~~

Ukyo: Yugo, something's happening right now. 

Yugo: *Meditating* What is it Ukyo?

Ukyo: Quon and Xander are arguing.

Ukyo: Oh my god they are getting personal. 

Ukyo: Oh shit Quon just threw down the Gauntlet.

Ukyo: Oh my god Xander just sicced Ren Wu on Quon.

Ukyo: Oh shit Quon just knocked Xander out with his skateboard.

Ukyo: Holy mother of Beyblade- Ren Wu ditched his stick and is using his hands.

Ukyo: Quon still has his skateboar- wait no he's got Ren Wu's stick. 

Ukyo: Yugo?

Yugo: *Still meditating* Ukyo, sweetie, if Xander and Quon were arguing, I'd hear them. Ren Wu isn't here, he's currently in Brazil. Besides Xander and Quon are literally best friends, if not brothers, and they never get into arguments. You want my attention, don't you?

Ukyo: 

Ukyo: Yes. 

Yugo: *Opens eyes* Then say it the first time. *Closes eyes again*