a/n: sorrryyyyyyy LAETEEEE kauuwi ko lang kanina nawala sa isip q ahaHAHA

021023 #BYLAMwp Chapter 9

"Sure kang okay ka na diyan?" tanong ko kay Chio as we pass by the last closest hospital while we're on our way to his home. Gusto niyang magpababa kung saan siya makakasakay nang madali but I could not just leave him on the side of the raod dahil nakakaawa talaga yung hitsura niya. Nasuntok na nga, pagko-commute-in ko pa.

Chio laughs; it sounds different kasi masakit pa rin ang panga niya sabi niya a few minutes ago. He reaches for the car stereo para hinaan ang volume n'un. "Okay nga lang ako, AJ. Malayo sha bituka."

"Pero malapit sa utak," I reply which makes him laugh harder, tapos nag-wince siya because of the pain that came after. I think I should make a U-turn na talaga to get him checked. Tunaw na rin kasi yung yelo sa cup na pine-press pa rin niya against his cheek. Malamig na water na lang 'yun.

"Grabe siya sha 'kin o," he says, shaking his head. "Shaka puwede mo nga 'kong ibaba na lang d'yan. Wala namang maho-holdap sha 'kin. Kaya kong umuwi."

"Bakit ka ba tumatanggi sa libreng pasamahe?" He can chew my ear off but I'm not dropping him off unless sa bahay niya na, bahala siya. At di ba uminom siya? Why would I leave him alone?

"Gagabihin ka sha daan, shira 'to," he says in a low voice before shifting his gaze sa window sa side niya.

"Naka-private vehicle pa rin," katuwiran ko. If I have to commute home, baka nga iniwan ko na siya kasi there's a higher chance na mapahamak ako. "Just go sleep or something. Isa pang kulit mo, ioospital talaga kita."

He sighs. Natahimik rin siya, finally. Nagsalita lang siya ulit nang makarating kami sa guardhouse ng entrance ng village nila; ayaw kasi akong papasukin. Buti na lang kilala ng guard si Chio. They even talked for a minute tungkol sa nangyari sa mukha niya.

I've been to his house for a few times already, pero hindi ko alam ang daan so binigyan niya pa ako ng instructions. I make a left turn after passing by a huge clubhouse that could pass as a house for three families. "Nagko-commute ka lang, di ba?" I ask. I know he can drive, siyempre because he drives me home sometimes, but I don't remember him bringing any vehicles to school.

"Bakit?" he asks. Tumuro siya sa kanan kaya niliko ko ang sasakyan doon. "Deretsho na, dulo."

"This is a lot of walking," I say. All houses are the type na single detached ones, and the gaps between lots are big. "Di ka ba napapagod? And what time ka gumigising?"

"Minshan shumashabay ako sha network van nina Papa sha umaga kung aabot ako," paliwanag niya. "Shanay naman kami maglakad ni Chai."

That makes my nose scrunch. Ilang minutong lakaran din 'to? Ang layo. I could never.

I pull over in front of their house. The area's well-lit, but the bunch of trees nearby creeps me out a bit. Inutusan pa ako ni Chio na pumarada sa tabi ng malaking itim na van sa parking space sa harap. Then he asks me na bumaba muna for some reason. Sumunod na lang ako para makiinom din ng tubig.

I don't think may nagbago sa bahay nila since the last time I remember being here. The front windows on their second floor, which looks like Japanese room dividers if they were made with glass, still occupies most of the walls. I can imagine na maganda ang natural light while the sun's still out but it's too open for my liking—makikita at makikita ang maglalakad sa area. But maybe they don't mind kasi from where I'm standing, maliit nang tingnan ang kotseng nakaparada sa kabilang bahay kasi malayo na talaga. They still don't have a gate. Maybe there's nothing to worry about security or baka magastos masyado kung buong lot yung page-gate-an, I don't know.

"Chubig?" tanong niya. He flicks the living room lights open. Walang tao sa salas.

I nod before removing my pumps. Sumunod ako sa kaniya papuntang kitchen. Tinapon na niya ang tunaw na yelo ng cup niya sa sink. Because the lights are on, mas malinaw kong nakita ang swelling sa bandang panga niya. I think medyo nag-iba na nga rin ang kulay.

He grabs a glass and fills it with water from the fridge. "Uwi na ako," sabi ko bago uminom.

He nods. "Cheka lang."

"Bakit?" tanong ko but he's already on his way out at di na ako sinagot.

Pagbaba niya after about two minutes or so, wala namang bago sa kaniya except sa nakatsinelas na siyang sure akong hindi kaniya. Aside from because it's pink or may malaking ribbon sa band, kalahati lang yata ng paa niya ang nako-cover n'un. I'm guessing it's his sister, at nakakaawa ang tsinelas sa kaniyang sure akong luluwag or masisira yung strap. "Wait ka lang."

"Bakit? tanong ko ulit. He opens the cupboard. Kumuha siya ng cupcake. Dahil siguro nakasanayan, muntik na niyang buksan yung plastic packaging with his teeth. He stops when he realizes na non-functional yung isang side ng ngipin niya. He grabs a pair of scissors, opens it, then ducks to open a cabinet. May maliit na kandila siyang kinuha at mabilisang sinindihan ang wick sa stove. Itinusok niya 'yun sa gitna ng cupcake bago 'yun iabot sa 'kin. My forehead creases.

"Di ko birthday," sabi ko.

His lips barely curl upwards but there's a happy glint in his eyes, so I know that if his jaw weren't injured, malawak ang ngiti niya ngayon. "Happy sheventy daysh."

"Ano?" lalo lang kumunot ang noo ko.

"Happy sheventy daysh after niyong mag-break ni Jassh. Tama ba compute ko? Hula ko Deshember kayo nag-break e."

I pause. I do a quick mental counting of the days before correcting him, "Seventy-six." Shaking my head, I blow the candles out. "And thanks."

Dahil hindi naman niya yata kayang kainin yung cupcake, at sayang naman, pinaubos niya sa akin. Kauubos ko lang ng pangalawang baso ng tubig when someone who seems like a middle-aged man enters the kitchen, keys on hand. It's not his dad, so I look at Chio questioningly.

"Uwi ka na, baka gabihin ka lalo," he says. Sumunod ako sa kaniya pabalik sa living room at palabas. "Pashushundan na lang kita. Mabait 'yan shi Kuya Rene."

"There is no need for that," I tell him while fixing the ankle strap of my pumps. Ginising pa ba niya 'tong Kuya Rene na sinasabi niya? Mukha namang di rin ako masusunod kahit sabihin kong di ko kailangan ng tail dahil nag-on na ng headlights yung van na naka-park sa tabi ng kotse ko.

"Naninigurado lang," katuwiran ni Chio bago ako iwan sa pintuan para tulungan si Kuya Rene iatras ang sasakyan. Kinatok niya ang bintana ng van after. Papunta ako sa sasakyan ko when I hear him say, "Kuya, ingatan mo 'yon a. 'Pag may nangyari sha babaeng 'yon maglalayash na 'ko, di niyo na 'ko makikita kahit kelan."

That makes me scoff. Kung ano-ano'ng pinagsasasabi niya! Tinawanan lang naman siya ni Kuya Rene bago iabante ang sasakyan at igilid nang kaunti para mauna ako sa kaniya sa daan pag inilabas ko ang kotse ko.

Before I can pull out of the garage, kinatok ni Chio ang bintana ko. He leans over, placing one hand by the door. "Ingat a," he says na tinanguan ko lang. I stare at him, straight-faced, when it seems like he doesn't have any plans of getting his hand off my car para maisara ko na ulit ang bintana at maitras ang sasakyan.

Pagsasabihan ko pa lang sana siya when it happens again. It's like may switch siyang tina-toggle on, and then the way he stares at me changes. There's a certain pull that makes it difficult to look away, and my heart does little kicks out of panic because it doesn't know why it gets sucked in and how Chio does it.

He looks away for a second and the pull breaks, thankfully before the glitch comes back and opens a jar of extremely inappropriate thoughts. I discreetly let out a deep breath.

He reaches for my lower arm, taps it twice, then his hand quickly slides to mine na nakahawak sa steering wheel to give it a tap. Winagwag ko ang kamay ko right after because his the feel of his touch seems to have lingered a second too long. Goodness. "Good night. Reply 'pag nagtanong ako kung nasha bahay ka na."

"Oo na," sagot ko. I quickly rolled the windows back up the second he takes his hand off my car.

I thank Kuya Rene when I get home. Nagpa-park pa lang ako nang marinig ko ang ilang beses na pag-ping ng phone ko. Tiningan ko lang 'yun when I get in the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, all the messages are from Chio.

I type a reply before getting myself some water from the fridge, Nakauwi na.

Weh???

I sigh before messaging him again. Oo nga.

Proof nga pic ka nga

Kung puwede lang siyang tuktukan from the screen, ginawa ko na. Ulol.

He replies with a laughing GIF. I lock my phone and put it aside. I pour myself a glass of water. Then, another one.

Drinking water always calms me down. Like it forces me to slow down whenever my emotions are at an all-time high.

So why the fuck is my heart still doing the little kicks it has been doing since earlier?

*

By Wednesday, the swelling on Chio's face has gone down. Fortunately he really didn't have any broken bones or dislocations, pero I really should have done things my way and forced him to a hospital. Nabati ko yata ang condition niya noong binanggit ko na malapit sa utak yung suntok sa kaniya, kahit na malayo 'yun sa bituka.

Baka nga may naalaog na something because:

A.) He was quiet all weekend kahit online siya. It was odd na tahimik ang phone ko the whole weekend, and noong kinumusta siya nina Eri sa group chat namin, parang nanakaw ang phone niya at hindi siya ang nagme-message. His replies are prompt, yes, but very short and, basta overall un-Chio-like. Walang, I don't know, character?

I thought he was just feeling out of the weather, which is understandable given the condition of his face, but come Monday, B.) Ganun pa rin siya. He's awfully silent. Ni hindi niya pinatulan ang pang-aasar sa kaniya ni Sab na he's a lightweight. I watched him the whole morning, at ni hindi umalis kahit isang beses sa report slides sa screen ang tingin niya. He even skipped lunch at sinabing umuna na lang kami. I don't even recall speaking to him that day. Inisip ko na lang na iniinda niya pa ang masakit na panga kaya hindi niya kami sinabayang mag-lunch at hindi siya madaldal. Baka hindi makakain, or hindi pa makadaldal.

My forehead creases when he sends Eri and Sab away again today. Nauna nang umalis si Jass because of Gracey. I tell Eri and Sab to have lunch without me because I have something to do at the library and accounting office first.

Napatingin sa akin si Chio nang mapansing hindi pa rin ako umaalis. Lalo lang kumunot ang noo ko nang mabilis siyang umiwas at ilipat sa harap ang tingin. Seriously, what's wrong with him?

Grabbing the book I am supposed to return sa lib, and my bag, tumayo ako at pumuwesto sa tapat niya. I catch him gulp before shifting on his seat as he raises his gaze to meet mine. He's acting weird, at ilang araw na, so—and I am never telling him—I'm worried. "Okay na ba 'yang panga mo?" I ask. Meron pang kaunting bruising but it definitely looks much better compared noong fresh pa lang at last Monday. But I don't know if he's feeling well or it still really hurts.

He merely nods. I scrunch my nose as I study his face. Problema ba nito? "Magla-lunch ka ba? Sabay na tayo. May dadaanan lang ako," aya ko.

He shakes his head repeatedly. Sinukbit niya agad ang strap ng backpack niya. I step aside when he stands up. "May puputahan din ako e."

"Sa clinic? Punta akong Accounting, sabay na tayo," I suggest. Maybe he thinks I don't notice but I catch him freeze for a moment, and I see the panic that crossed his eyes before he can get rid of them by blinking quickly. "Okay ka lang?

He clears his throat. "Oo." He smiles. My nose crumples up because I know the way he smiles like it's the back of my hand. I know it when it's genuine dahil hindi naman siya mapagdamot sa ganun. Problema ba talaga nito? "Kain ka na, a? Alis na 'ko."

He doesn't even wait for my reply. He walks out of the room in a few huge strides as if he's chasing after something pero ayaw niyang ipahalata. Saan ba ang punta n'un? Sa CR? Ang hirap intindihin ni Chio pero mas mahirap siyang intindihin when he's not being Chio.

Bahala nga siya. I go to the library and the accounting office to get things done. Dahil wala naman masyadong pila, I decide to walk palabas ng campus to eat. Nauumay na ako sa canteen, and hindi naman masyadong mainit, so I don't mind walking.

And walking helps clear my mind, but only kapag ganitong malilim at hindi masyadong mahaba ang lakarin. Otherwise, iinit lang ang ulo ko.

Tumigil ako sa maliit na kainan kung saan kami kumain ni Chio last time. Puno 'yun, but there are fewer students and more of workers ng construction site just around two blocks away. Maswerte na lang ako na may umalis na tatlong babae kaya nakakuha ako ng table.

Ilalapag ko pa lang ang gamit ko when I notice a group of students sitting on the table across mine. I look away before Miss Clipboard, who's sitting with who I assume are her friends, can notice na tinitingnan ko sila.

Inabutan ko ulit ang pinsan ni Chio. He greets me with a firm nod na ibinalik ko lang. After telling him I want chicken curry and a cup of rice, he merely responds with a low 'okay' before getting a plate. Nasa upuan ulit sa loob ang ID niya, and I am squinting to discreetly read his name dahil hindi ko talgaa maalala when I hear a familiar voice. I look at where it came from.

Both my brows raise when I see Chio coming out from the back. Miski siya ay mukhang nagulat na makita ako dahil nahuli ko ulit siyang natigilan.

My head seems to have turned on its own. Sinilip ko ang table nina Miss Clipboard, then binalik ko ang tingin kay Chio. Huh. It's not difficult to put those two puzzle pieces together.

Kaya naman pala.

Tumikhim ang pinsan niya kaya inalis ko ang tingin kay Chio. Bago iabot sa akin ang mangkok ng ulam ay tumitig siya sa akin nang matagal, tumingin sa table nina Miss Clipbaord, tapos ay tumingin din kay Chio. He smiles at me after and I find it kind of weird dahil hindi mukhang happy smile yung ngiti niya. Di ko alam kung sarcastic or what . . . basta iba.

Nagbayad na ako at dumeretso sa table kung saan ko iniwan ang gamit ko. I place my bag on one of the two free chairs before taking my seat. Di naman ako binati ni Chio, kaya hindi ko rin siya pinansin. Maybe he doesn't want his game ruined. Ewan.

Kung may iba naman pala kasing gustong samahan, puwede namang magsabi. He would get the other side of his face swollen when Sab punches him again—malaman lang namin na tinatago niya 'tong si Miss Clipboard. I doubt that he's like Jass base sa reaction niya noong nalaman niyang tinago ako ni Jass, pero malay ko ba. He's my friend pero madami siyang di sinasabi sa 'kin, like this one, so hindi ko rin make-claim na napakalinis niyang tao.

Whatever.

"Puwedeng makiupo?"

Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa pinsan ni Chio. He's holding a plate of his own at nang ibalik ko ang tingin sa counter, meron nang mukhang matanda-tandang babae roon. I just nod at him and continue wiping my utensils with tissue paper.

My eyes fleet to Chio when he walks over to our table. I give him a stern look when he attempts to touch my bag na nananahimik sa upuan. Pouting, his head reels back. O? Bakit siya dito makiki-table e nasa kabila yung date niya?

"Taken," sabi ko.

"Wala namang nakaupo," bubulong-bulong niyang sabi.

"Bag ko," I say and roll my eyes. His shoulder drops and I look away bago pa lalong manulis yung labi niya. Kakain na lang ako. Bahala siya diyan. I don't care if he plans to get to know Miss Clipboard behind my back, pero respetuhin niya naman yung date niya if ever and sit with her instead na kinukulit ako rito.

"Taken nga kasi, Buks," his cousin says when after a minute, hawak pa rin ni Chio ang sandalan ng upuan kung saan nakalagay ang bag ko. What does Buks mean? "Du'n ka nga, epal ka lagi e," ulit niya. I glance at him and catch him grinning. Obvious na obvious ang sarcasm sa ngisi niya. He really doesn't look like, nor have the same aura, as Chio. Mukha siyang may masamang balak. Tapos si Chio yung mukhang magagawan ng masamang balak kasi tatanga-tanga.

"Inamo ka, hayop," malutong na sabi ni Chio sa kaniya. "Kuha nga akong upuan sa loob," nagmamaktol niyang dagdag. "Hoy, hindi ka cute," pahabol niya. He turns to look at me. "AJ, di 'yan cute," he adds bago kami iwan na ikinakunot ng noo ko.

I end up letting Chio share the table with us after he grabs a chair from the kitchen inside dahil wala siyang pupuwestuhan para kumain. But I don't wait for him to finish. As soon as I'm done eating, I leave.

Malilim pa rin naman sa nilakaran ko on the way back, pero ang init ng ulo ko pagdating ko sa room.

*

"Sorry na kasi," Chio says, burying his head on my shoulder. I push him away by nudging him back with my elbow. Sa kulit niya, of course di siya tumigil. He sneaks a hand beneath me, curls an arm around my waist, and pulls me closer to him before locking me in place by placing his other arm on top of the one that's already caging me in. "Sorry na sabi."

"Sorry for what?" I ask, eyes still closed. What time is it . . . ?

"Di ko naman 'yun kasama do'n e, nagkataon lang na nando'n sila," he whispers on my nape. He snuggles closer, drawing lines on the side of my neck with the tip of his nose.

"Selosa," he adds. I scrunch my nose when I feel his lips behind my ear. "Nagseselos pa ring gumising e minomol na nga kagabi?"

That makes me laugh. I flip on my side just to smack him lightly on the forehead. I don't remember what time I slept last night—what time we slept last night. I don't even remember when he came here—

I don't remember when he came here.

I DON'T REMEMBER WHEN HE CAME HERE.

Oh my god.

Putangfuckingina.

I fall off the bed when I force myself awake. I almost do not feel the way I bumped my bum on the floor dahil parang namanhid ang buong katawan ko. I'm cold yet I am sweating, so I rush to the bathroom, stripping my clothes off as I walk to the shower para gisingin ang buong diwa ko with cold water. What the fuck. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Napaupo ako sa sahig. I wait for maybe a minute or two for the cold to register on my skin and wake my nerves up. Nang maramdaman iyon ay nagmamadali akong naligo. If I could just take my head off, pull my brain out of my skull, at ibabad 'yun sa body soap, ginawa ko na. Those are not appropriate thoughts. Kailangan ko yatang ilagay sa kumukulong tubig ang utak ko para matigil yung putang inang kung anomang kahayupan 'yun.

I wipe the fogged up bathroom mirror with my damp palm. Christ. My whole face is red from shame to the point na baka mapagkamalan pa ako ni Mommy na may sakit ulit. Shit, shit, shit talaga. 'Tang inang utak to. Ano 'yun? Agang-aga! And I was not even that tired yesterday para magkaro'n ng abominable nightmares. I ate dinner, studied, and then slept early! Ano bang maling ginagawa ko? Ayoko na ng ganung images!

It feels like a sin. And I normally don't mind committing sins so this one is that bad dahil feeling ko kailangan kong mag-retreat for seven days or more. I know there's a high chance that I'll go to hell once I die, but this one secures me a spot. Puta.

'Tang inang Chio kasi, ang weird-weird lately. Maybe a part of my brain has been attached to Chio na talaga to maintain its normalcy. So when Chio's not being Chio well, nagkakandaleche-leche ang lahat.

I put on a pair of black jeans and the first white top I get my hands on. I need some quiet time kaya dapat maaga ako sa campus. Pinabalot ko na lang kay Auntie Mel ang supposed breakfast ko.

I want some quiet time but I cannot be alone. Kailangan kong mapaligiran ng tao para mas maraming ini-intake ang utak ko at hindi matuksong gumawa ng kasalanan. So when I arrive at campus, nag-stay ako sa canteen at doon kumain. It's perfect dahil may mga taong pumapasok at lumalabas, pero wala pa masyadong ingay.

Pagpunta ko sa room, si Jass lang ang inabutan ko. I can't believe I will be able to say this again after we broke up, but I am so glad na kaming dalawa lang ang nasa room. We used to schedule kung anong oras kami pupunta sa school so we can have some time alone—yung wala ang friends namin. Pero ngayon, thank fuck si Jass lang ang nandito. Dahil kung napaaga si Chio, I will run back outside, purposely trip myself a few steps before the first floor, then make a big deal out of it para sa clinic ako the whole morning and I can go home by noon sa reason na injured ako.

I can't see him. Not yet. Wait lang. I still feel the weight of his arm on my waist and I have no idea why it feels so real e I haven't experienced that pa naman. It's that bad.

Binati ako ni Jass as I take my seat. I only respond with a nod dahil 'yun lang ang nakayanan ko. While I'm trying to clear my mind by watching the clouds outside the window, tinawag ako ni Jass. He asks something about Surveying, and I give him a full lecture just to keep my brain working kahit isa lang naman ang question niya.

Furrowing his brows, he asks, "Ayos ka lang, Ju?"

"Yes. Why?" I reply promptly. Mukha ba akong hindi ayos? Does it show on my face na something is terribly wrong with me?

Pinanliitan lang niya ako ng mga mata before closing his binder. Jass sighs before shaking his head. He gives me a smile after. "Dumadaldal ka lang kapag may mali e."

"You asked me a question," I say. I clear my throat after when kahit ako, napansin ang masyadong pagka-defensive ng tono ko. "Sorry. Gusto ko lang clear yung explanation ko."

He laughs. "Okay, okay," he says, turning his back on me to sit properly.

I suck in a deep breath. "Jass."

"Ju?" He looks over his shoulder.

"Are you close with Gracey's friends?" tanong ko. Nakailang kurap siya before turning his chair a bit to his side para maharap ako nang ayos. "Just asking."

"Kaunti lang yung kilala ko, bakit?" takang tanong niya. I gulp. I shake my head repeatedly. What is wrong with me? Bakit ako magtatanong about Miss Clipboard? This is getting out of hand.

It's none of my business kung may something si Chio and that girl! It's not surprising dahil base nga sa sinabi ni Sab, may type si Chio. Gaganun-ganun lang 'yun si Chio but he's old and he can handle himself.

"Wala lang. Nevermind," I say. I wave a hand to dismiss him. Mas malalim na ang pagkakaunot ng noo niya ngayon. I sigh and take out my Spanish notes dahil may class ako bukas, and para di na ako usisain ni Jass. After a few minutes of watching me, umayos na ulit siya ng upo at hindi na nagtanong, so I am able to actually focus on what I'm reading. I need to keep feeding my brain information na safe to consume. I need to keep the brain juices occupied para hindi kung saan-saan napupunta ang isip ko.

I don't look at the door when I hear Chio arrive. Alam kong siya yung dumating dahil may pinagtatalunan sila ni Sab loudly. Kasabay din nila si Eri who greets me good morning before giving me cheek kisses. I reply to her without taking my eyes off my notes. At this point, I am just looking at my handwriting. I have this feeling na once I take my eyes off my notes and mapadpad sila kay Chio, I'm doomed for the day. Di 'yun puwede.

Ilang beses akong huminga nang malalim before the first period starts. I brave myself to look at the back of Chio's head, and lahat na yata ng santo at anghel ay napasalamatan ko when none of the images appeared.

Siguro dahil his hair is still messy from the commute and medyo crumpled pa ang shirt niya—so definitely not attractive, not a good material for the glitch to work with. And when he turns to Sab para ituloy yung pinagtatalunan nila kaninaa, I think, medyo malakas yung boses niya kaya nasita siya ni Engineer. Again, not attractive. I see him pull the neckline of his shirt to wipe something sa may patilya niya. Not attractive. Get a fucking handkerchief.

When lunch time came, ako ang naunang mag-invite sa friends kong kumain. Jass says he has to wait for Gracey, so he's out. Sab naman goes to the restroom at nagsabing mauna na kami. Hinihintay ko si Eri na maitago ang mga gamit niya at makuha ang wallet when I see Chio standing up. Kinunutan ko siya ng noo nang magtagpo ang tingin namin. What? Di siya kasali.

He raises both his brows. Sinamaan ko rin ng tingin ang wallet na hawak niya. Hindi siya kasama. Hindi siya invited.

"Di ka kasama," I tell him. He raises both his brows. Napatingin sa amin si Eri na kakukuha pa lang ng wallet. "Kami lang tatlo."

"Magkaaway kayo?" Eri asks with a laugh. Tinapatan ni Chio ang kunot ng noo ko. Hindi naman nagtagal ang kaniya nang mas taliman ko ang tingin sa kaniya. His lower lip juts out in a pout. He knows why he's not invited.

"Let's go, Eri."

"Para namang ano 'to e," bubulong-bulong na sabi ni Chio. He purses his lips when I look back at him.

"Parang ano?" I ask with my arms folded over my chest.

"Di naman kasi ganun—" He zips his mouth closed when I arch a brow.

He scratches the back of his ear before shaking his head no. Bumalik siya sa upuan niya. Tinawanan lang siya nina Eri at Jass. Nag-puppy dog eyes pa siya sa 'kin bago ko talikuran as if that's going to work.

"Ba't naman magkaaway kayo?" tanong ni Eri habang naglalakad kami.

"Di kami magkaaway," sabi ko.

"E ba't ganun?" Eri laughs. "Kawawa naman 'yun. Buti nga nakakakain na 'yun ulit e."

"Sasabay 'yun kina Jass." Kasama ni Jass si Gracey. Kasama ni Gracey yung friend niya. So, of course sasabay si Chio kay Jass. And di naman puwedeng di siya kakain ng lunch.

"Bakit di na lang sa 'tin? Pinikon ka na naman n'un? Tiklop naman siya e."

"Di ko alam, basta. 'Yaan mo siya."

Naunahan pa kami ni Sab sa canteen. Nandun na siya pagdating namin. "Sa'n si Chio?" she asks. "Si Jass? Kasama ni Gracey?"

"Magkaaway si Chio saka si Julibear," sagot ni Eri sa tanong niya.

Sab raises a brow. Glancing at me with an odd glint in her eyes, she asks, "O? Bakit naman?"

"Ewan ko diyan sa dalawa!" sagot ni Eri. I feel like ako yung tinatanong ni Sab dahil sa 'kin siya nakatingin, but I keep my mouth shut. Pinanlakihan ko ng mga mata si Sab dahil ayaw niyang alisin ang tingin sa 'kin. What?

Shaking her head and smiling, she pulls her chair back. Ang creepy kasi di niya inaalis ang tingin niya sa 'kin. "Nagpapasuyo ka, Ju?"

My forehead creases. It's only so slightly, but I feel my cheeks heat up. "Suyo ka diyan." She said in a weird way! And by the way she's laughing, she knows it. "Kulang ka sa tulog ulit, Sab? Sabi ko kasi sa 'yo that's not healthy."

She merely makes a face. "Tsk. Di nga kasi," saway ko. She shrugs. Napailing na lang ako. Nang-aasar lang 'to. And good thing na kinikilabutan pa ako sa pang-aasar niya about the idea of Chio and I, dahil kung hindi, ewan ko na lang.

We leave as soon as we're done dahil mainit sa canteen. Habang naglalakad kami from the other end of the hall pabalik sa room, tanaw ko na agad kung sino yung naksandal sa may door frame. Nandun din yung friend ni Gracey na maikli ang buhok. Magkausap sila. I give Sab a side-eye nang mag-wolf whistle siya, obviously insinuating something.

Chio stops from chewing yung burger na hawak niya when we make eye contact. Eri says a cheery hi to Miss Clipboard, at si Sab naman ay hinagip lang ang ulo ni Chio para tuktukan kaya nawala ang tingin niya sa 'kin. Whatever.

Di ko alam kung ano ang pinag-uusapan nila doon sa may pinto, but it lasted for a few more minutes bago bumalik si Chio sa chair niya while crumpling the wrapper of his burger. He tosses it on the trash bin na nasa isang corner before umupo sa chair in front of me nang paharap sa 'kin. What now?

"Okay, suyuan time," Sab says in a sing-song manner, making me audibly gasp. Inilipat agad niya ang tingin sa kisame.

"What?" tanong ni Eri na akala ata ay siya ang kausap. Sab ony shakes her head, refusing to let her gaze back down. Ewan ko sa kaniya. Itulog niya 'yan.

I lean back on my seat. Chio's just looking at me without saying anything, arms folded over the backseat of the arm chair and his nose buried on it, effectively hiding half his face. I take on the staring contest he's silently proposing.

My lips twitch when he raises both his brows after a few minutes. Clearing my throat, I concede and look at my phone to check the time. "Masakit pa 'yang panga mo?" I ask softly.

He raises his head. I roll my eyes when his lips slowly curve into a smile. "Hindi na po masyado."

"Good. Next time kasi 'wag kang tatanga-tanga at umilag ka."

He chuckles.

A weight drops in my stomach when my heart started doing its little kicks again.

*

I thought Chio and I are finally okay, but pagdating ng Friday morning, weird na naman siya. He doesn't look at me when he greets me good morning, pero still binati niya ako. He doesn't even sit with me during lunch time, pero dahil naunahan siya ni Sab sa gusto niyang puwesto, he ends up sitting directly across me. I pretend not to notice when he flinched nang sabay naming damputin ang baso niya. Pinagpalit ko ang glasses namin dahil mas marmaing ice ang akin. Di naman siya nagreklamo, but yung reaction niya kasi ang noticeable. Bakit parang since this morning pa siya kabado? Balisa, even?

I mentally shake my head repeatedly. No, no. He's not weird. Once I start thinking that he's acting a little off, and every time mapapansin ko ang details na 'yun, baka mamaya kung saan na naman mapunta ang utak ko. I have had the best sleep last night without those images appearing anywhere near my mindspace, and I'm not going to ruin that by being too attentive of whatever's going on with Chio. Okay na siya. Okay kami. Okay na ako.

"Pst." Inangat ko ang itngin kay Sab pero hindi pala ako ang sinisitsitan niya kundi si Chio. I see her nudge him then wiggle her brows while looking somewhere else. Sinabayan ko si Chio sa pagtingin sa kung anoman 'yun, out of curiosity.

Binalik ko ang tingin sa kinakain when I realize it's nothing important. It's just Gracey, Jass, Miss Clipboard and another one of Gracey's friends. Chio shifts on his seat and clears his throat. Our eyes meet when he reaches for his glass of iced tea to take a sip. Kaya naman pala kabado. Now I know.

I am silently finishing my spaghetti when I feel something tap the tip of my sneakers. Nang silipin ko iyon ay nakita ko ang sapatos ni Chio. I glance at him and arch a brow questioningly. He shakes his head repeatedly for whatever reason. Ano? Tawag nang tawag, wala naman palang sasabihin?

"Sungit," I hear him say lowly while we're walking back.

Nang lingunin ko siya ay kitang-kita ko kung paano siya tumuwid ng pagkakatayo. "Ano?"

He gulps before carefully reaching for my arm, slowing my pace down. Pinauna niya nang ilang steps sina Sab na nasa harap namin sa covered walkway bago ako bitiwan. "Sinusungitan mo na naman ako, sabi ko."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kumain lang naman kami kanina kaya ako tahimik. I don't speak with my mouth full.

"Tsk, ayan na nga po," he adds which makes me look at him again. He sighs before reaching for my upper arm to pull me to his side dahil may dumaan na manong na may tinutulak na trolley of boxes. "Sorry na, AJ . . . ."

"Di na ako titingin."

An uninvited kick in my chest makes me audibly hiss. I pull my arm from his hold slowly and take two steps to the right to bring back the space between us. My chest pounds heavily as I pretend not to notice that he's still looking at me. The hell? What is he . . . . What is he talking about?

I force a laugh. "Sinasabi mo?"

He merely sighs and click his tongue. I do not look at him again as we walk the hallways back to the lecture room. When his hand reaches from behind me to push the door open, I immediately take a big step forward so I won't feel his chest against my head.

Parang tanga 'tong si Chio. Parang tanga talaga.

Sinasabi ba niya? Ang sakit-sakit na tuloy ng dibdib ko. This is how it feels when I have no idea what's happening. Shit lang.

I have Spanish classes after dismissal, so thankfully that's more than hour na hindi magiging idle ang utak ko. And I need my brain to keep on working to distract me from the marching na mukhang walang balak itigil ng dibdib ko. This is Chio's doing. Ano ba kasi yung sinabi niya kanina? Tungkol saan ba 'yun? Bakit ako kinakabahan?

Kaya naman right after i-unplug ni Sir ang kurdon from his laptop, nag-ayos agad ako ng gamit. I need to get out of here and be out on the road. The traffic helps me focus because I need to be alert for my own safety; it keeps the brain juices working. I just say a quick goodbye to my friends, which is di naman naging mahirap because they know I have classes during Fridays, while walking in huge stesp palabas. I didn't want to run kasi, why would I run? Wala akong tinatakbuhan. Wala akong tinatakasan dapat. Wala naman talaga.

"AJ."

My shoulders immediately tense up upon hearing Chio's voice. Knowing na I can't run because, bakit ba, right? There's no reason to run. It's Chio. It's just Chio. Walang weird. I should stop making it weird. "Yeah?" tanong ko without looking up from my phone nang magkasabay na kami ng lakad.

"Hatid na kita," he says. "Wala kang dalang sasakyan, di ko nakita sa tapat."

I lock my phone, take a deep breath, then look at him. Shaking my head, I smile and reply, "No. I know how to go by commute."

He furrows his brows. Umiwas ako ng tingin at pasimpleng minadali ang natitirang steps pababa ng hagdan. "May problema tayo?"

"Wala a. What are you talking about?" I ask back with a laugh. Wala kaming problema. Ako, meron. I have no idea when the kicks would stop. But that's mine alone. He should stay away from it. Really keep his distance.

"Hindi ka ganiyan sumagot," sabi niya. That genuinely confused me kaya napalingon ako sa kaniya. He's not smiling. "Simpleng sorry, tatawanan mo? Simpleng invite, ngingiti ka bago i-reject? Simpleng tanong, tatawa ka ulit? Di ka sa ganun ngumingiti. Di ka sa ganun napapatawa."

Natahimik ako. Kinunutan ko siya ng noo before looking away. "You're thinking too much. Epekto ng suntok ni Sab?"

"AJ."

"Ano ba kasi 'yun?" tanong ko. I gasp when he pulls me on the arm. "Chio!"

"Tanga, bakit ka kasi diyan papunta? Salungat 'yan. Doon ka sasakay sa kabila, kahit taxi."

"I know that!" I say in my defense. Alam ko naman talaga! Ayaw niya kasing manahimik and his voice distracted me. It's an honest mistake! "At sinong tanga, ha? Bitiwan mo nga ko." He doesn't budge. If anything, humigpit lang nang slight ang kapit niya. "I said let go!"

A continuous, loud blowing of a vehicle horn makes my shoulders jump. For a moment, I feel some pain in my arm as Chio presses his fingers harder on my arm to grab my whole weight and pull me out of the way just in time before a car passes by us. Mabilis na sumigaw ng sorry si Chio nang buksan saglit ng galit na driver ang bintana bago humarurot ulit paalis. I clutch my chest with my free hand and watch the car drive away. Oh, my god.

"'Tang ina naman kasi, AJ," mahina pero mariing sabi ni Chio. He widens his eyes at me, obviously angry, before letting go of my arm. Napasabunot siya sa sarili bago ako hilahin ulit at ilipat sa kabilang side niya.

Ah, my arm hurts. I know it's not his intention to hurt me, and had he not grabbed me, baka imbes na sa language school ang deretso ko ay sa ospital, but fuck, ang sakit. "Putang ina kasi—"

"Ouch." I hiss. Pinakiramdaman ko ang parteng hinawakan niya kanina noong hinila ako. It's not like the pain na parnag nauntog ka lang, and then it's gone after a minute. This one really hurts. Baka magpasa pa 'to bukas.

"O ano?" I show him my frown when matigas pa rin ang tono niya. Don't speak to me that way. As if naman gusto kong muntikang masagasaan!

He sighs, massaging the bridge of his nose. He reaches for my arm again, this time with a light touch, before carefully examining it. "Masakit?" he asks softly.

"Bwisit ka kasi. Sinabi ko kasing kaya ko na." I slap his hand away. He gulps. Nakailang buntonghininga siya pagkatapos.

"'Lika na, ikaw na lang kumapit sa 'kin," he says, offering his arm. He raises both brows at me when I give him a glare. Hindi niya ba ako narinig? Kaya ko na nga! "Di mo ba nakikita 'yan?" he asks, pointing sa sunod-sunod na sasakyang papasok at palabas, nag-uunahan pa yung iba dahil oras talaga ng uwian and super traffic na mamaya. "'Lika na. Kapit ka na. Wag ka na kasing makulit. Nagfi-feeling expert ka e, marunong ka bang tumawid?"

"Marunong."

"Marunong pero dapat may overpass?"

"Shut up," sagot ko na nagpatawa sa kaniya. I fold my arms over my chest. I'm not holding onto his arm. Di ako bata.

He sighs again, but this time with a gentle smile on his face. Nodding, he says, "Okay. 'Lika na."

I try to keep my calm when I feel him rest his hand on the top of my head as we continue on walking. I had to close my eyes and recite the colors of the cars I see to keep my heart rate down when his palm slides down to my nape, the ends of his fingers lightly curling to the sides of my neck.

When we arrive, akala ko aalis na siya but he just sits down sa stairs in front of the building. I nudge him with my leg. "Umuwi ka na. What are you going to do here?"

"Hintayin ka," he answers without missing a beat, as if he knew that kanina pa. He glances at his wristwatch before taking off his backpack para ilagay 'yun sa lap niya. "Sige na. Dito lang ako. Sabayan kita pauwi 'pag tapos na class mo."

I look around. Parking ang nasa harap. May convenience store na isang tawid lang, so he can wait there para mas comfortable. Hindi yung dito siya. Mukha siyang batang iniwan ng parent nang basta-basta if dito siya maghihintay. Anong gagawin niya rito? Manonood ng clouds? On second thought, he should just really go.

"Umuwi ka na kasi. Why are you even doing this? Kinuntsaba ka ba ni Mommy? Ni Auntie Mel?" I ask.

he laughs. He hugs his bag and glances up at me. Nanliit ang mga mata niya dahil sa pagkasilaw. I crouch down a bit to flick away what seems like a lint na naligaw sa hair niya at ngayon ko lang nakita dahil nasinagan ng araw. I stand back up quickly when my heart does a really, really painful kick to my chest upon seeing him smile slowly up close. Maybe that kick is a warning. Na I should stop or else magma-malfunction na naman ang utak ko.

Right. Maybe all the kicks are warning signs.

"Hindi a," he says casually.

"Nanunuyo lang ako."

My heart sends me multiple warning signs. I scoff and leave him there laughing. When I am called in for a quick vocabulary recitation during my class, nagkandabuhol-buhol ang dila ko. It's like I forgot all the Spanish words I have been memorizing for this week's lesson, at ang natira lang sa isip ko ay: nanunuyo lang ako.

See? The warning signs are right. I need to stop reading through this too much because it won't do me any good.

# # # Chapter 10 on February 20, 6pm.