a/n: this is just half-ish of the bylam21 im supposed to update, but had i followed my entire chapter outline, baka umabot talaga ng 20k kaya hinati ko xD

ty (:

101523 #BYLAMwp Chapter 21

We're officially done with second year, and it's time for the summer internship program. Fortunately, Eri passed the removals exam, kaya magkakasama pa rin kami next semester. Hindi lang namin siya makakasama this summer because she and Jass decided to join a different company. Kami nina Sab at Chio ang magkasama sa iisang developer, pero magkakaiba kami ng projects assigned. Still, magkikita-kita kami later because of the general orientation sa HQ.

I am so not looking forward to doing 300 hours of practical work. Not because I do not like what I'm doing, but because wala akong kakilala sa mga kasama ko based sa deployment email na na-receive ko last week. I was hoping na makakasama ko either si Chio or si Sab, kahit isa lang sa kanila, dahil sabay-sabay naman kaming nag-apply and we're from the same campus pero pinaghiwa-hiwalay kami. I end up being in a group with three guys from the same school, another pair na galing din sa parehas na univ, dalawang from EE na parehas din ng pinanggalingan, and another girl na kagaya kong naiiba ang nakalagay na campus sa sheet. Save for the last girl, our group is already divided in three mini groups. And I'm not friendly enough para makipag-friend doon sa walang kakilala para pair na rin kami.

Bukod sa dahil kulang ako sa tulog kagabi, my head is hurting just by thinking about it. What if we would be asked to introduce ourselves to each other dahil magkakasama kami for 300 hours? Just imagining that I have to state my name and tell them something interesting about me, na wala naman talaga, actually, is making my headache worse. Maybe I should just stay in? Ang aga rin naman masyado ng call-time na 7:30.

Maybe I should just drop tapos hindi na rin ako mag-enroll next year. Come to think of it, Mommy is set to leave for Spain next month. I helped her clean up her bedroom and pack some of her stuff already last week. Hindi pa kami nag-uusap about how things are going to unfold once she leaves, but I'm certain that I only have a year left here at maximum. So bakit pa ako mag-i-internship? I should just ask Mommy for a huge sum of cash and go travel with Auntie Mel for the entire year.

Or better yet, I should stay at home, eat, then sleep. I pull my blanket over my head when Auntie Mel knocks for the second time this morning, telling me to get up already dahil male-late ako.

God, I want to sleep more. Okay lang kayang um-absent ako sa first day? Should I just make up an excuse? Kaya ko namang habulin yung eight hours ng duty. I don't mind extending for a day.

I groan when I hear the knob click. "Bumangon ka na," bungad ni Auntie Mel, tone less gentle than the one she used on me fifteen minutes ago. "Akala ko ba sasabayan ka ni Chio?"

I sigh upon the mention of his name. I show Auntie Mel a thumbs up, then I hear the door close. I force myself out of bed, then dragged my feet to my windows para iikot ang blinds. Mommy probably left too early again today kaya hindi na niya 'to nabuksan. She has been leaving earlier than usual for the past weeks, probably to cater to more patients and to clean up her administrative work sa hospital. She had a colleague over last week. And I think doon niya ipasasambot yung place na nire-rent niya right now for her private clinic.

I don't really know. I want to sit her down and ask but she's so busy. I just trust that it's all going to fall into place because she's handling it.

I reach for my phone after i-prepare yung isusuot ko halfheartedly. Hell, I really want to skip today pero I have a feeling that I would still want to show up bukas, so mas mahihirapan ako if I skip the first day kaya papasukan ko na lang.

I open a message from Chio sent about half an hour ago. Ang aga niyang gumising, a? Good morning beh ko see you.

I roll my eyes. God, I can't skip. Gumawa na kami ng plano to see each other this morning. I need to pull myself together and get coffee para hindi na ako inaantok.

Hindi na ako nag-reply because I see that he's online. Baka mapahaba pa ang usapan namin at ma-late pa ako lalo if I did.

I take a quick, cold bath. Nagmamadali kong b-in-lowdry ang buhok ko dahil narinig kong tinawag na ako ni Auntie Mel galing sa baba, yelling that Chio has already arrived. I am not sure if I look presentable enough when I leave my room, pero fuck, bahala na. Ang mahalaga, I show up.

Kumakain pa si Chio pagbaba ko. Inalok siguro ni Auntie Mel tapos siyempre, hindi naman siya tatanggi kahit pa male-late na kami dahil makapal ang mukha niya at mabilis naman siyang kumain. His eyes are on the television screen showing the morning news.

I keep my face straight as I try to give him a full body scan. Dark brown polo shirt, a familiar necklace hanging from his neck, jeans as prescribed by the admin—light washed, hair brushed back na mukhang pinaiklian nang kaunti, and I notice that the edges near his ear are cleaned with a low taper. He probably got a haircut last week when classes officially ended dahil ngayon ko lang 'to nakita. Himalang he did not message me about it.

I try not to, but I end up smiling and shaking my head when I notice the cartoon prints on the socks he's wearing. I am not surprised.

I tear my gaze off his socks nang marinig kong magtaas slight ng boses si Auntie Mel. "Tabi!"

My brows furrow. It's Kuya Rene. Hinatid siguro si Chio. I think he's trying to wash his own mug, at good luck na lang sa kaniya, pero hindi siya patutulungin ni Auntie Mel lalo na't bisita siya. Kahit nga ako, even if I try to help her with basic chores, pinagagalitan niya lalo na kung kaya naman niya. It's her thing.

I give Kuya Rene a small smile when he turns his back around, defeated. Nginitian niya lang din ako pabalik before telling Chio na paiinitin na niya ang makina ng sasakyan. I guess we're taking their car this morning.

"Hi," bati ng shameless na Chio sa 'kin habang inuubos ang almusal niyang dapat ako ang kumakain.

"Iyo 'to?" I ask, picking up the mug of coffee in front of him na kalahati na lang ang laman. Inubos ko agad ang laman n'un nang tumango siya.

He scoffs when he sees na wala akong itinira. I scoff back because, what the hell? Bahay namin 'to, 'no! And he's eating breakfast from my Auntie at my house! Kapal din talaga nito minsan. At home na at home.

Auntie Mel quickly picks up Chio's plate pagkatapos nitong kumain. Napaayos ako ng tayo when she looks at me sharply. "Ikaw? Hindi ka na kumain. Magbaon ka."

"'Wag na po," sabi ko, but one second she's already holding a container, tapos the next nagsasandok na siya ng kanin.

She gets the lunch bag ready in what seems like less than a minute. "Ilagay mo sa bag mo. Kumain ka agad kapag break mo."

"E . . . maliit po yung bag ko," I reason. I press my lips together nang pandilatan niya ako ng mga mata. But seriously, maliit talaga ang bag ko. I'm sure may mahahanap naman akong kakainan doon.

She puts both her hands on her hips. Feeling ko tuloy napapagalitan ako in front of Chio, who's still busy chugging down water. "Ay nabalot ko na, ano'ng gagawin ko diyan?"

I would choose her and Mommy's cooking above anyone else's, but I don't want to bring a lunch bag dahil dagdag bitbitin pa. Hindi pa naman ako gutom dahil late na akong nag-dinner kagabi, so I would be fine hanggang lunch today. She should stop worrying so much.

After a minute of silence, Chio speaks up. Tinanggap na niya yung bag. "Akin na lang ho," he says with a laugh, probably to make the atmosphere less awkward. Nagbabanta na kasi ang tingin ni Auntie Mel sa 'kin.

I make a mental note to go home early tonight para sabay kaming mag-dinner at makabawi. It's not like I'm neglecting my health on purpose—hindi lang talaga ako gutom at ayaw kong magbitbit.

"Gusto niyo ho dagdagan niyo pa e? Malaki pa naman ang bag ko." Hindi ko sure if part pa 'yun of Chio trying to remove the crease on Auntie Mel's forehead, or if he genuinely means it dahil makapal nga talaga ang mukha niya.

Auntie Mel lets us go, but not without swatting my forearm with a pot holder. Tinawanan pa kami ni Chio.

Hindi ko in-expect na ihahatid kami ni Kuya Rene today, pero nandito na siya so nakisakay na lang ako. Chio sets our bag on the shotgun seat and walks to the backseat para tumabi sa 'kin. He rests his hand close to my lap throughout the whole ride, and mukha namang hindi 'yun pinansin ni Kuya Rene so I don't move his hand away. I like it there, anyway.

Inabutan kami ng bottleneck traffic kung kailan malapit na kami sa HQ. Kuya Rene suggests na lakarin na lang namin dahil may dadaanan din siya at kailangan na niyang mag-U-Turn. Wala naman akong choice but to follow dahil sumunod si Chio. Alangan namang magpaiwan ako sa car, e kanila 'to?

The sunlight seems to be too harsh considering that it's just few minutes past 7 a.m.. Chio's squinting eyes follow my movements hanggang sa makasunod ako sa kaniya sa sidewalk after getting my bag and saying goodbye to Kuya Rene.

I roll my eyes nang iangat ni Chio ang mga kamay niya at pagdikitin, trying to shield me from the sun. He stifles a laugh when he meets my gaze. "Naiinitan ang prinsesa."

"Shut up." Kinuha ko ang payong ko—yung regalo niya—sa bag ko. He grabs it from my hand and decides to hold it for the both of us.

Like usual, my spine straightens itself when his free hand makes contact with my nape. Maybe it's because we haven't seen each other for, what, a week or two? Kaya mas naalerto ang nerves ko sa hawak niya. I draw a breath when his nail lightly scratches on my skin when his fingers pinch the chain of my necklace off my nape for a second. My senses are always heightened when this guy is around, even more so when we're touching.

Normally, I would be so annoyed by the continuous honking ng mga sasakyan because they're so noisy. But now it all seems to be muted because my system is forcing me to put all my attention on Chio's hand on my nape, on Chio standing beside me, on Chio's plain presence. On Chio, on Chio, on Chio. As if I'm waiting kung ano'ng next niyang gagawin, kung may sasabihin siya, kung ililipat niya ang kamay niya somewhere else on my skin.

Kaya narinig ko agad siya despite the noise when he speaks, "Bukas na sila o." I look up at him and he's pointing using his lips to something across the street.

I spot a quaint, all-day café after mawala sa view ko ang malaking itim na van na lumagpas. Maybe Auntie Mel would not be so worried about me missing breakfast kapag nalaman niyang may puwede naman akong daanan before clocking in sa office. "Try natin sa susunod?"

And I notice agad when he shifts his gaze to me, when his pout stretches out to a smile, when the apples of his cheeks bump up. My lips part and he probably doesn't notice, but I do because I know myself. And for a fragment of a second I could not speak because I just wanted to look at him. "Okay."

And his movements are swift, but it seems to play in slow motion. So I see it when he dips his head, and I already know what he's going to do. He plants a wet kiss on the side of my lips, and inside my chest my heart does a little flip.

"Ganda," he says, grinning.

Nakita ko naman, so I know that I stayed still for that kiss to happen, pero I still somehow end up complaining kahit alam kong I really do not mind. I suck in my teeth before reaching for my handkerchief from the back pocket of my jeans. "Laway."

He laughs, nudging me playfully and acting offended nang punasan ko ang gilid ng labi ko. "Arte mo. Parang hindi ka sa 'kin nagpapadila ng labi m—" The back of my palm slaps his arm, and he erupts into laughter. I tell myself na dahil sa araw kaya pakiramdam ko ay biglang uminit ang buong mukha ko. This boy still has his way of catching me off-guard. I hate it sometimes na hindi na ako nasanay.

Pagpasok namin sa HQ, maraming nakapila sa elevator. Naiwan kami ng unang lift so we had to wait again pero this time, nasa harap na kami ng pila. I check the time on my wrist watch at parang hindi kami masyadong male-late. I am not climbing flights of stairs after walking kahit na male-late ako.

"Aju."

"Yes?"

"Tingin ka ro'n."

I lift my eyes up to Chio. "What?"

Hawak na niya ang phone niya sa isang kamay. Saka ko lang na-realize na he's talking about the doors that double as an outside mirror sa closest room sa lift.

Did he take a photo? I do not even know how I look there kasi itinabi niya agad ang phone niya sa bulsa. Then, he fixes the folds of my umbrella before handing it back to me.

"Stop smiling sa door. Baka may nakakakita sa 'yo sa loob," I tell him after I see him still beaming sa mirror door pagkatapos kong itabi ang payong ko. He merely laughs but don't take his eyes off it. Tuwang-tuwa sa hitsura niya?

He lowers his gaze to me. "Ano'ng isusuot mo bukas?"

I shrug. Nag-white ako today kasi pakiramdam ko safe color for a first day, and wala namang requirement sa email that was sent out.

I earn a frown for my response. "Chat mo 'ko mamayang gabi kung ano'ng kulay isusuot mo."

"What for?" I ask. He just pouts and doesn't answer.

Pumasok na kami sa elevator, and he secures me to his side as other people try to squeeze themselves in. I guess we're lucky enough because all of them got off at the same floor.

Nilingon agad ako ni Chio nang kaming dalawa na lang ang natira. I look up at him and my brows snap together nang mapansing hindi siya sa mukha ko nakatingin. I was about to snap my fingers at him dahil kung saan-saan nagagawi yung mga mata niya, but he suddenly reaches for the gaping fabric in between the second and third button of my polo shirt. His fingers pinch and smooths down the cloth, trying to lay it flat, then he retracts his hand to his side when the elevator makes a stop at may pumasok.

What the FUCK. Nauna siyang lumabas ng lift when we reaches our stop, and when I catch up to him, mukha lang siyang normal!

As if hindi pumasok yung daliri niya sa loob ng blouse ko dahil sa ginawa niya.

As if his thumb didn't lightly brush over my bare boob because of the shape of the bra cup I'm wearing.

One-way lang ba talaga ang gulatan sa 'ming dalawa? Hindi ba siya nauusuhan ng kaba?

"Ano?" he asks when he catches me looking at him with wide eyes. And he doesn't even look like he's pretending to be innocent—he looks innocent talaga! My god. This boy. I do not know kung ano ba dapat ang gawin ko sa kaniya.

Baka naman he saw how my skin is showing and his fingers moved on instinct to make sure my clothing sits on my chest properly. Probably just concerned that I was showing what I didn't mean to show, at wala namang balak na windangin ako on purpose.

I sigh. Maybe I should get a grip. Bakit ba ako nagre-react this way, still?

It's not like uncharted waters ng kamay niya yung dinaanan ng thumb niya.

That thumb has been there once.

Or maybe twice.

'Yang kamay niya kasing ang hilig-hilig pumunta sa batok ko, tapos sa leeg, tapos biglang bababa, kung hindi man sumasalakay agad sa ilalim ng blouse ko.

God. STOP. It's barely 8 in the fucking morning.

Marami nang tao when we arrive at the meeting room, probably more or less than 50 for five or so separate projects. I search for Sab in the crowd, but Chio finds her first. Wala nang free seats sa tabi niya, but there are empty chairs behind her at doon na kami umupo.

She immediately turns her head to look at Chio and I pagkaupong-pagkaupo namin. "Sabay kayo?" she asks, obviously insinuating something, while directly looking me in the eye as if challenging me to lie.

Why would I lie kung sabay kami ni Chio? We're friends. Okay lang na magsabay kami. "Carpooled," I answer, because that's all I have to tell her.

I don't need to tell her na sabay kami ni Chio because if it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't even be here in the first place. Sabay kami because I want to see him first thing in the morning and he wants to see me, too. Sabay kami so I can have his hand on my nape. Sabay kami so he can kiss me before we enter the HQ. Sabay kami so he can fix my shirt. Sabay kami because I have not seen him during the short break and I kind of fucking missed the guy more than I would admit.

But again, she doesn't have to know all that.

It's mine and it's his and no one else's.

Sab doesn't look convinced. I only smile dahil panalo ako when she rolls her eyes and sits properly dahil may pumasok nang staff, asking the room to settle down. But, seriously, I worry sometimes kung bakit ang lakas ng pang-amoy nitong si Sab. I trust Chio na hindi siya nagkukuwento kay Sab because it's our agreement to keep it a secret.

I just trust the guy in general. I cannot even think of something I would not trust him with. Except maybe answering my problem sets.

Chio leans to the side to whisper in my ear, "Saan ka deployed?"

"Planning," I answer. Ang sabi sa 'min, we'll stay here at the HQ for now and move to the satellite tomorrow. "You?"

He frowns. "Operations. Sa site—di talaga tayo magkikita na," pamaktol niyang sabi, sounding like a defeated child. I think it's . . . kind of cute. "Pero hanggang before lunch lang yata muna kami do'n, tapos babalik dito. Sabay tayong umuwi?"

"Sure ka na ba?" I ask and he shakes his head no kaya I click my tongue. I have to go home early today dahil gusto ko ngang sabay kaming kumain ni Auntie Mel. "Just message me kung you're on your way back. Tapos mag-decide na lang tayo by then."

"Paano lunch? 'Pag bumalik ako, sabay tayo?" tanong niya.

"Of course." It's not like I have someone else I would want to eat with.

He nods, smiling and leaning back against his seat. His hand glues itself again to my nape, at napapikit pa ako when his fingers pad on my scalp. The next second, he's looping my hair around his finger, and I try to take a mental image of the presentation in front dahil wala na akong naririnig, or naiintindihan, except for the sound of Chio's breathing beside me.

"Kilala mo na mga kasama mo?" Sab asks when the general orientation ends. I think she already knows the person sitting beside her dahil may sinabi siya rito bago kami tumayo at makisiksik sa mga lumalabas ng room.

"Not really," I answer. Pangalan lang ang alam ko. "But alam ko naman saan kami magmi-meet ngayon." I take my phone out of my pocket to recheck the email sent a few days ago.

"Ikaw?" tanong ni Sab kay Chio pagkalabas namin. Tumabi kami sa isang gilid, and mukhang tama nga akong kilala ni Sab yung katabi niya kanina since nakadikit pa rin siya sa kaniya ngayon.

"Oo. Lalabas kami e," sagot ni Chio sa tabi ko. I look up at him. He should go. Baka ma-late siya or maiwan ng mga ka-group niya papunta sa site.

I turn to Sab. "Ikaw? Dito lang kayo?" I ask, glancing at the stranger beside her.

She nods. "Aakyat. Sabay na tayo."

Binalik ko ang tingin kay Chio. What is he still doing here? He looks like a child awaiting further instructions kahit naman alam na niya where he should be at this moment. "Umalis ka na."

Nagawa pa niyang ngumisi. I check the time. God, wala talaga siyang normal amount of fear in his body with regards to missing out on anything academics-related. Male-late nga siya! "Pinaaalis mo na 'ko, Aju?"

My eyebrows snap together. I hear Sabrina laugh. "Ano'ng gusto mo? Ihatid ka pa namin?"

"Parang ayaw mo naman akong paalisin e," he says, eyes lowering down to his . . . shirt . . . where my fingers are gripping tightly onto . . .

What the hell. Binitiwan ko agad ang polo niyang hindi ko naman namalayang kinakapitan ko pala. He chuckles loudly, not minding if he's giving Sab more ammo to use against the both of us. Palibhasa he can just shrug it off. Paano ba niyang nagagawang hindi maasar or mapikon? Or is he doing that kasi alam niyang 'yun ang ine-expect ni Sab na response niya? Para hindi halata?

Humirit pa siya instead of turning around and going his way, "Ano? Baka gusto mo pa akong makasam—"

"Go away," utos ko, walking past him and Sab and going to where the elevators are. Lalo lang nag-init ang mukha ko nang marinig kong tumawa ulit si Sab at sumabay pa kay Chio. Parang napagtutulungan naman ako e! Chio should be helping me! Hindi yung gumagatong siya to whatever Sab is insinuating. Na, to be fair, tama naman. At least, partly. Pero we're not admitting that nga!

I suck in my teeth when I hear him yell bye from behind me. Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Sab before she can say anything nang tabihan niya ako sa paghihintay sa elevator.

Mauuna akong bumaba, and magpapaalam sana ako sa kaniya but I see her with her nang-aasar na ngiti ulit so I end up just widening my eyes at her in warning. She should stop. I'm afraid na baka dumating sa point na I can't tell if nang-aasar pa siya or if Chio and I are becoming way too obvious and hindi lang namin napapansin.

Mabilis ko lang nahanap ang room namin. The heat in my cheeks quickly dissipates, and my hands turn cold the moment I see na ako na lang ang wala sa group namin. There are ten seats around a table, five on each side. Sa side opposite from where I'm standing, mayroon nang three guys na magkakatabi, which I assume are yung tatlong pare-parehas ng pinanggalingan doon sa email. Beside them is a girl with a bob with very blunt ends, and a guy with long hair in a ponytail. They're wearing the same ID laces, so I think they're the pair from EE. May nag-iisang babae across from me.

I cannot believe I'm overthinking on which of the four empty seats I should take.

Uupo ba ako sa tabi n'ung babae? But I physically cannot speak to her. Hindi ko siya kilala. I do not know how to make friends first. Do I leave one seat free between us? Would that come off as rude, or na ayaw ko siyang katabi? Should I just put my bag doon sa free seat para hindi naman mukhang ayaw ko siyang kadikit? What the fuck. What the fuck do I do?

My mind was yelling for my feet to stop walking, but too late na. For some reason I end up taking the seat at the opposite end of the table, putting three seats in between me and the girl. Before I can overthink pa lalo if I am making this way more awkward than how it should be, a man walks in. I have a feeling like I know who he is because of the hard hat he's holding.

"Hi, everyone," he greets, and my co-interns murmur their greetings. I am too busy praying that he doesn't instruct us to introduce ourselves to one another, so I stay quiet. "I'm Engr. Ronario and I will be in charge of you kids for . . ." He looks up at the ceiling, thinking. ". . . sixty hours," he finishes with a smile.

For someone with eyebags so dark that it's actually quite concerning, which I assume are naipon niya because of work, Engr. Ronario does not seem to be so strict or worried that we would make a mistake that he would be held accountable for. We spend another half an hour discussing kung ano ang ginagawa sa Planning and what we should expect to do for the next week or two.

He introduces us to some people we should note of kung gusto naming makahanap ng gagawin, because apparently work would not be handed to us unless needed. Then we discuss the specifics of the project assigned to us—it's a 67-storey condominium building with nine basements, one of which being a cistern tank. We take the whole morning to discuss how the planning should go and go over the proposed schedule dahil may mga kailangang ipasa sa municipal government unit so we can obtain permits. And I am so glad na wala na kaming time to discuss anything about our personal lives, because I would rather be pushed to a pile of work for four hours instead of be given two minutes to tell people my name, my hobbies, or ang kawalan ng anything interesting or unique about me.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag when we are asked to take our lunch and to come back so we can see the drafting process. Sa loob ng three hours na lumipas in that room, I didn't have to talk to anyone. I can do this. Four hours na lang naman for today.

I search for the canteen dahil hindi ko alam kung saan kakain. I detached from the group immediately nang payagan kaming mag-lunch, and now I'm rethinking if that's a good idea kasi hindi ko alam kung saan ako kakain now. I end up walking around for ten minutes or so before deciding na bumaba ulit sa ground floor to ask the guard kung saan puwedeng kumain. By the time na mahanap ko na yung canteen sa taas na maliit lang, halos umabot na by the entrance yung pila. I'm not sure if it's usually like this or dahil lang kalakhan ng interns ay required magpakita sa HQ today.

I still fall in line because it's not like I have a choice. Masyadong maaraw sa labas and I am not walking alone to the café Chio and I passed by on our way here earlier. I check my phone to ask where he is, and I find a photo from him sent about two hours ago.

I zoom it in when it loads. Parang nasa basement sila, and there's a huge group of what seems like workers because of their uniform bright blue jackets with strips of fluorescent yellow on the back. There's someone speaking in front wearing a hard hat. Hindi na 'yun nasundan ng message if he's already on his way back or what. But, I don't worry much about him dahil may baon naman siya from Auntie Mel. He wouldn't be hungry.

Ang bagal ng usad ng pila. It takes me maybe around twenty minutes para lang matanaw ko yung food na sine-serve. I sigh when I notice that iisa lang yung familiar na food sa 'kin, and that's the paubos nang adobo. The rest are meats with vegetables na hindi ko alam ang tawag. Should I just buy juice and a biscuit? Can I can hold out until 4:30?

My shoulders jump to my ears when something suddenly pads on my scalp. Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa phone ko and my chest tightens for a second as a result of holding in the shriek I almost let out because of shock.

My heart calms down the second I see Chio's familiar face right in front of me, smiling, as he continues to tousle my hair. Jesus. Hindi man lang ako tawagin muna?

And, oh my God, he's here.

"Lunch mo," he says, handing me the lunch bag he took from Auntie Mel earlier. My eyebrows furrow. Bago pa ako makapagtanong, nakapagpaliwanag na siya, "Ako lang ang nagdala kasi sabi mo maliit ang bag mo." He chuckles before his hand slides down to my nape from the top of my head. "Di ko kinain, sira ka. Nagmadali na nga ako pabalik dito."

Sayang yung pinila ko, but my stomach rumbles at the mere thought of having Auntie Mel's cooking for lunch. Thank fuck.

"How about you? Anong oras na, a?" For sure bumiyahe pa sila pabalik dito. Hindi pa siya nagtatanghalian? Did they eat on their way back? "Ano'ng kakainin mo?" We can share, pero malakas siyang kumain and I'm sure that half of what Auntie Mel packed would not be enough for him. Tapos, nasa site pa sila kanina. I'm sure he's famished.

He takes a peek at the food containers in front. "Sabay mo akong laing." I nod. "Hanap akong puwesto natin," he says before taking the lunch bag and my handbag from me. I buy him his request, two cups of rice na pakiramdam ko naman ay mauubos niya because of the serving size, and two glasses of water.

Hindi naman kailangan pero he comes back to me after setting our things down. Siya na ang kumuha ng tray and I just follow him back to the seats he got for us. And siguro masyado kaming gutom parehas that we don't even speak to each other after we settle down. Nakailang subo muna kami ng mga lunch namin before he speaks. "Ano'ng bibilhin mo dapat? Hindi ka naman kumakain ng mga ulam do'n," he says with a laugh.

I shrug. I have no idea. Baka magreklamo na lang ako the whole day kung bakit parang series of inconveniences lang ang dala sa 'kin ng internship na 'to. I really should have just stayed at home. I really should have just dropped out of school altogether.

Chio laughs lightly, shaking his head. "Paano ka na lang talaga kung wala ako?" he says which makes my eyes roll. Right. Kung not for him, I would not even be here. Baka kagigising ko lang and baka nagba-brunch pa ako at the comfort of my bed.

I pause on chewing. I traded that just to see this boy in front of me smile. Just to feel his hand on my nape. Just to have his fingers loop my hair around them. Just to have him beside me for a few minutes.

I should really get it together.

Chio leans back on his seat and brushes his hair back.

Fuck okay e di worth it na hindi na nga kukuwestiyunin putang ina naman.

After we're done eating, sabay kaming pumunta ng CR saglit. We don't have much time left and he needs to go to the back parking dahil doon ulit sila magha-huddle. I decide na ako na lang ang sumabay sa kaniya sa paglalakad papunta roon instead of him taking me upstairs tapos bababa pa siya ulit.

We stop in between a huge van and a cargo truck na may boxes sa likod na hindi ko alam kung ano ang laman. Their cab is parked at the opposite side of the vast parking, and to get there kailangang tawirin yung part ng parking na hindi na hagip ng canopies and I do not want to do that dahil ang tirik talaga ng araw.

Chio pulls me to the side, with him leaning his back towards the cargo truck. My eyes automatically search the vicinity for cameras. Meron sa corner post behind him, and another a bit far from us na. Hindi ko alam kung 'yun din ang ginawa niya because he roamed his eyes around. Jesus. Nagsasabay na ang wavelength namin? I do not know how to feel about that.

"Walang baon?" he asks, laughing when I roll my eyes. "Nag-toothbrush pa naman ako sa CR kanina."

"That's not very professional," I reply, referring to the 'baon' he's talking about.

"Truelalu," he says with a shrug. His lips part as if he's going to add something more, but I quickly grab him by the collar and force him to lean over so I can plant a quick kiss on his mouth. I'm sure he was taken aback, but his arm seems to move in reflex and muscle memory and immediately snakes around my back, his hand grabbing the side of my waist and giving it a squeeze. I push him on the chest after para makahiwalay agad.

I watch as his parted lips slowly form a smile. He's pink all over and it makes me feel . . . good. Really good. I feel like . . . I don't know . . . flattered, maybe? Kasi one gesture lang and he's so . . . affected? Appreciative? Happy?

I just feel . . . wanted.

"Nambibigla ka, ha?" pang-asar niyang sabi while fixing the collar of his shirt. Ramdam ko ang gigil niya nang pumisil muli siya sa bewang ko. "Pumasok ka na nga. Bad influence ka, nilalandi mo 'ko."

He laughs when I swat his arm away. Siya 'tong nag-request e. "Go. Sabihan mo 'ko if maaga kayong makakabalik."

"Sabay tayo uwi?" he asks, smiling widely.

"If maaga kang babalik."

"Aagahan ko."

I arch a brow. "Wow. Boss ka? Puwedeng magdesisyon?" We can always clock out early, but I don't think that's going to leave a good impression. Lalo na if gagawin mo on the first day and you have to stay in your current rotation for two weeks.

He chuckles. "Watch and learn."

"Hey, tanga." I hit him lightly on the arm. Umayos nga siya. Baka bumangga sa first sem ang internship niya if magbubungi siya ng oras lagi. "Don't do anything stupid."

He clicks his tongue. "Stupid ka diyan."

I massage my temple. Kasakit ng ulo minsan 'tong si Chio. "Actually, just go home straight kapag puwede na kayong umuwi. Hindi mo na kailangang bumalik." Sayang oras niya. Baka abutan pa sila ng rush hour. I can go home on my own. Enough na yung sabay kaming pumasok and he ate lunch with me.

His face crumples as if what I told him is the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard in his entire life. "Babalik, ako sira," he says, tousling my hair. "Kasi ikaw ang naghihintay sa 'kin."

*

"Makakapagmaneho ka bang bata ka?" Auntie Mel asks while watching me put on my shoes. Nakapamewang siya while holding the door so it won't close and hit me on the face.

I nod, then keep my head down nang mahikab ako. Gusto ko pang matulog but I told Chio that it's my turn to pick him up.

I know he tries not to show it pero alam ko namang gustong-gusto niyang matulog every time na nasa biyahe kami at hinahatid ni Kuya Rene, and every time he tries to commute with me pauwi. Nahuhuli ko siya minsang papikit na, but then for some reason he would try to keep his eyes open kahit puwede naman siyang umidlip.

So sabi ko palit muna kami, since he still insists na sabay kaming papasok even if he doesn't need to drop by sa main office at puwedeng-puwede naman siya dumeretso na sa site.

"Almusal mo," paalala ni Auntie before I hop into the car.

"Kakain po muna kami bago pumasok," sagot ko.

Auntie Mel watches me pull out of the driveway. Medyo madilim pa.

Nakagawa na kami ni Chio ng plano to have breakfast today, so we can finally try that café na parang lagi kaming walang time or energy to visit noong first week. Our call time is half past 7, kaya kailangan talagang sobrang aga namin if we want to actually sit and have breakfast together.

Hindi ko na sinundo si Chio sa mismong bahay nila. When I arrive at the gates, naabutan ko na siya roong nakaupo sa bench at may katabing guard.

Napaayos siya ng upo. Squints his eyes a bit as if trying to see if he has the right car. God. Nakita ko kaagad how his smile appears upon seeing my car, then he stands up and rushes to the door sa shotgun as if iiwan ko siya rito if he doesn't get in within a minute. I think I want to kiss him. He tries to stop himself from grinning by sinking his teeth on his lower lip. "Hi," sabi niya before pulling the door close. I should kiss him. His hair is still damp.

Napailing na lang ako nang pumihit siya agad paharap sa 'kin upon settling on his seat. He looks at me like I'm a morning TV show character na inaabangan niyang panoorin at nakatutuok siya at the exact time ng airing. Mukha siyang excited as if five years ago yung last time niya akong nakita. Hindi rin talaga siya nahihiyang tumingin, or manood, na parang hindi ko alam na tinititigan niya ako.

"Hi," ulit niya. I glance at him and arch a brow, asking what he wants. Wala pa akong energy to talk. Sobrang aga pa. But I do have a lot of space to accommodate his energy.

I catch him frowning the second time I throw him a glance.

I sigh. "Why?"

"Sabi ko sa 'yo light pink yung isusuot ko."

"And I told you already, wala nga akong pink sa closet ko," I say in defense of me wearing a navy blue polo shirt today. Harmless naman yung request niya on matching colors, so pinagbibigyan ko siya the past few days, but wala talaga akong pink na shirt sa aparador ko. I spent half an hour checking last night. Tinanong ko pa si Auntie if alam niyang may pink akong polo shirt.

"May pink ka kayang t-shirt," he says in a tone na parang mas alam pa niya ang damit ko kaysa sa 'kin na may-ari, or kay Auntie Mel who does the laundry at home. "May pink kang t-shirt. Tanda ko 'yun," he adds, pamaktol pa.

"Yeah, fine. But hindi 'yun collared," I say. Wala na siyang naisagot doon.

He just folds his arms, lolls his head to the side, defeated na parang inaway ko siya, and keeps his lips on a moping pout. "Bakit kasi walang pink?" pabulong niyang reklamo.

I pull over to one corner. He is not going to stop whining.

"Bakit?" he asks.

Hindi ko siya sinagot. I grab my bag from the backseat. I search for my pouch inside before pulling the visor down para sa mirror. I show him my bullet lipstick na mahigit one year na yata sa 'kin dahil hindi ko naman nagagamit. It's almost untouched.

"This one is pink," I tell him before putting it on.

His forehead creases in confusion. "Okay . . . ?"

I roll my eyes before putting my lipstick back into my pouch, my pouch into my bag, and then tossing my bag on the backseat. Kunot pa ang noo niya when I grab him by the nape and plant a quick kiss on his lips, and relatively tahimik pa ang daan and the car radio's off so the smack sound that came after was pretty loud. Then I press my lips together to fix the layer of color left.

Meron din sa kaniya, but I think it looks cute, so I'll just wipe it off later before kami bumaba. And his cheeks are pink, too.

"There. We match," sabi ko, poking the side of his lips with my finger. Umayos siya ng pagkakaupo, then curls to the opposite side, hugging his bag close to his chest.

Ayun, tahimik na siya the whole ride.

*

"Sandwich lang ang akin," I tell Chio when we enter the café. To be honest, hindi pa ako gutom. I just want to sit down and spend time with him before I get launched na naman to a room of people I do not know. Nakakapag-usap naman kami ng mga co-interns ko because hindi naman 'yun maiiwasan, but I would say it's still pretty awkward lalo na that some of them already know each other and are friends. I get by, pero ang draining. Hindi ko alam kung masasanay ako.

"Coffee mo? Iced? O mainit muna kasi malamig sa office?" Chio asks.

"Mainit," sagot ko before taking a seat, placing my bag on the table. I fold my arms over the table and slump my head over it. Hindi pa nga nagsisimula ang araw ko, pagod na ako.

My breath hitches when Chio's fingertips pad my scalp. He takes his hand off my head, then brings it back to pat it twice. "Ano'ng sandwich?"

"Ikaw na pumili," sagot ko. I don't even bother looking at the menu. I can only turn my head off when he's around and we're talking about food, at mina-maximize ko yung opportunity na 'yun. "Ikaw na rin kumuha ng wallet sa bag ko."

I hear him chuckle lightly. "Sige, Ma'am, ha? Sinusuwelduhan mo 'ko e . . ." he says jokingly. That surprisingly makes me laugh, too.

I know na hindi ako makakatulog, so I just keep my head down and try to enjoy the silence. Naramdaman ko when Chio grabs my bag off the table and moves it to the side. And I watch his shoes and his bright colored socks when he carefully pulls the chair next to me and sits.

I catch his shoulders jumping to his ears a bit when I touched his knee and lifted my head up, nabigla siguro nang kaunti dahil baka akala ay umiidlip ako. Inabot niya sa 'kin ang wallet ko. I gesture for him to just chuck it inside my bag. Ayaw ko ngang mag-isip, ayaw kong kumilos.

"Pagod na pagod agad, sis? Puyat ka ba?" he asks with a laugh. I frown and turn my head away when he pinches my chin. Sumandal ako nang ayos sa upuan after.

God, I want to rest my head on his shoulder and just tune everything out. I wonder if this is the default mode for him—yung walang iniisip. Just going by his day by winging everything out on the way.

He grabs my hand off his lap and sets it down on my knee, resting his hand on top. Lalo lang akong inantok when he starts patting me there on a slow, steady rhythm.

But parang uminom na rin ako ng kape nang may matanaw ako sa labas while we're waiting for the food. Napaayos agad ako ng upo, folding my arms over my chest, my hand slipping off beneath Chio's hold. Napalingon siya sa 'kin when I pressed my knees together and tilted my legs to the opposite side kaya na-interrupt ang pagtapik niya.

Sab's outside. Malayo-layo pa lang, I know it's her because of the crossbody bag she's wearing. And familiar din yung kasama niyang seatmate niya noong orientation.

I hear Chio sigh beside me. He stands up without saying anything and gets our order from the counter nang tawagin ng staff ang pangalan niya. At the same time, Sab enters the café with her friend.

Sab's eyes light up in immediate recognition at agad na umupo sa tapat ko. "Kanina pa kayo nandito?" she asks. Lumipat ang tingin niya kay Chio who sets down the tray sa table namin. "Bakit nakasimangot 'to? Magugunaw na ba mundo?" she asks, chuckling after pointing at Chio's face.

Chio makes a face. He sits beside me and doesn't say anything to Sab. Sab talks with her friend saglit for her order bago bumalik sa puwesto niya sa tapat ko.

I glance at Chio while unwrapping my sandwich. I don't know if he's not trying to hide it para sure siyang alam ko, or if that's just the way he is—unable to conceal his emotions because he doesn't know how to because that's just not what he does—but sobrang obvious na he's moping. The miserable slump of his shoulders and his furrowed brows na parang hindi masarap ang kinakain niya is a dead giveaway.

E ano'ng gagawin ko? It's not like I can tell Sab to walk back to the office immediately so Chio and I can have the table to ourselves.

"Sabay kayo?" Sab asks, looking over her shoulders saglit to eye where my car is parked.

"Yes," sagot ko. Inalok ko sa kaniya ang kalahati ng sandwich ko dahil narinig kong coffee lang ang pinabili niya roon sa kasama niya, and I'm not really that hungry. She grins before picking it off the plate and taking a huge bite.

"Sabay ka na sa 'min pabalik?" she asks. She invites her friend to take the seat na nasa tapat ni Chio. "Akyat na kami agad pagbigay ng coffee," she adds. "O hintayin mo pa 'yan?" tukoy niya kay Chio na parang inuunti-unti yung kagat sa sandwich niya. He immediately looks down on his food when our eyes meet.

I sigh. "Mamaya-maya na ako aakyat. Awkward sa room namin, di naman kami mag-uusap if I arrive early," pagdadahilan ko, which is partly true. If I arrive there ten minutes earlier than Engineer, ibig sabihin ten minutes din yung ie-endure kong silence between us.

"Ikaw bahala," sabi ni Sab. Himalang hindi siya masyadong nang-aasar this morning. Probably because she's busy munching on the half-sandwich I bought.

She asks again if hindi ako sasabay sa kanila pabalik when their orders are done. And I said no again because ramdam ko nang nag-iinarte 'tong kasama ko dahil patapos na rin kami halos sa breakfast at kailangan na naming mag-clock in in a few.

Five minutes lang yata after Sab and her friend left, nasa kotse na ulit kami na need kong ihanap ng parking sa main office.

He hugs his bag and faces the opposite way while I drive.

*

Kahit nakasimangot na siya, he insists on walking me papasok hanggang lift. I know hindi siya sa akin galit, and he's probably just annoyed na we had to share our breakfast time together with Sab, but it still bothers me kasi ang lakas-lakas ngang makahatak ng aura niya. It's like his disappointment can be felt within a 500-meter radius.

"Wait," sabi ko while he's removing his seatbelt. He looks at me and merely arches a brow questioningly. I sigh and face him. "Come here."

His forehead creases. "Saan?"

"Here. Closer."

His lips twitch. Pero sumunod naman. He keeps a straight face even after I plant a quick peck on his lips. But when I give him another one, naka-pout na siya pagkatapos.

He sighs, then sucks in his teeth. While shaking his head, he mutters under his breath, "Hay naku, Aju," before leaning forward, dipping for another kiss, with his hand grabbing the back of my head and pushing it towards him.

I pull away and tap him on the arm, signaling him to stop when his hand travels down to my nape, to my neck, quickly slides over the cup of my bra, before wrapping around the side of my waist.

Okay, that's enough. Lapad na ng ngiti ng gago e.

"Di na 'ko makakadaan dito ng lunch. Di yata kami babalik," he says. His cheeks are pink. His neck is pink. He presses the side of his head on his seat, then transfers his hand to my cheek. "Sabay na lang tayo uwi?"

I nod. I can do that. Hindi ko naman kailangang magmadali mamaya. "Babalik kayo dito?" I ask and he nods. I have the option to just pick him up but if I have to wait for him, I can use that time to sneak in a few minutes of nap. "Okay. I can wait for you."

"Okay." He smiles. He reaches over the backseat to get my bag. "'Lika. Lakad kita sa elevator."

"Why nga? I can get there alone," sabi ko pagbaba. He checks if the car doors are locked before kami pumasok.

"E, gusto ko may picture tayo do'n sa pinto," he says. He has formed this habit of taking a picture of us doon sa glass door na one-way mirror malapit sa lift. Noong isang araw I didn't even notice that he took a photo. Pag-uwi ko, s-in-end na lang niya sa 'kin.

"Bahala ka." Choice naman niya 'yun. As long as hindi siya male-late sa cab nila dahil lang sa picture, it's fine with me.

"Smile ka naman d'yan," he says, nudging me with his elbows when we get there.

I shake my head no. I refuse to look at the door dahil pakiramdam ko talaga may nanonood from inside the room. I focus on the moving arrow down symbol and the floor numbers going down sa elevator.

"Suplada naman nito. Famous ka ba?" natatawang tanong ni Chio na hindi ko na lang pinansin. I look up at him when he pats my lower back. What? "Alis na 'ko."

"Okay," I say, nodding. "Mamaya ulit."

One of his eyebrows raised. "Mamaya ulit ang?" His eyes fleet to the direction of my lips, earning him a slap on the arm from the back of my hand.

"I meant see you mamaya ulit," I clarify dahil walang pinipiling oras yata ang utak niya para pumunta sa kung saan-saang lugar. "Umalis ka na nga."

He chuckles then pasimpleng humaplos ang kamay niya bewang ko before walking away. The sound bounces off the walls of my head hanggang sa makasakay ako ng elevator.

*

Sa comfort room imbes na sa canteen ang deretso ko come lunch. Like always, my co-interns are probably going to the canteen nang sabay-sabay in their little respective groups, and I just find it awkward na we would walk sa halls together, pumila nang magkakasunod, tapos maghiwa-hiwalay din naman ng table.

God, I miss coming to regular classes. I miss sharing the lunch table with people I know and letting Chio decide what I would eat.

Para iwasan yung awkward na magkakasama kaming maglalakad, sa opposite way na CR ang punta ko. I just plan to wash my hands and fix my hair pero napansin kong kasunod ko si Pearl, the other girl in the group na wala ring kakilala, so I end up going in sa isang cubicle kahit na wala naman akong gagawin doon.

I think it would be rude kung iiwan ko siya here without speaking to her after we just made eye contact, kaya siya na lang ang hihintayin kong umalis. I put down the toilet seat and wait. I hear the water running from the sink faucet, tapos tumigil, and then I hear the hand dryer. I hear her footsteps palayo, but I still wait for a minute or two before coming out of the cubicle.

I stop on my tracks nang makita ko siya sa labas ng CR. Oh, hell, she's still here. And for some reason, she looks like she's waiting for me. Putang ina, hindi ako marunong makipag-usap.

She jerks a thumb to the direction of the hallway. "Ju, di ba?" I nod. Mas maliit siya sa 'kin, and she kind of reminds me of Eri except na mas tahimik siya, I think. I suddenly miss Eri and her crushes and her gossips na magandang white noise kapag lunch. "Lunch tayo?"

Tumango lang ako ulit, because I cannot bring myself to speak. Hindi kami close. She has only spoken to me a few times about the drafts. 'Yun lang.

We walk in silence papunta sa canteen, and I don't know if it's just me and my socially awkward ass but the air is heavy. I hope she doesn't think that I don't like her dahil hindi ako nagsasalita.

"Ano'ng sa 'yo? Upo ka na lang," she offers, which makes me feel worse. I feel like she's making an effort and I am making this way harder than it should be.

"Whatever you're having," sagot ko before pulling some bills out of my wallet.

Her forehead creases. "Sure ka?"

I blink twice. Oh. Right. She isn't Chio.

"Wait," sabi ko before leaving my bag on the nearest table and walking nearer to where the food is. Binalikan ko siya sa pila pagkatapos. "Sinigang." That's the safest choice.

She nods. "Okay."

"Thank you," sabi ko before hesitantly going to my seat. Is this really okay? Just sitting back here while she gets my food? Hindi naman kami friends.

I get my phone out of my bag. I need to breathe or else I would not stop worrying. I message Chio right away. What are you doing

It takes him a minute to see my message, and then another one for him to reply with a photo. It's a picture of him with a few people na hindi ko kilala, probably his small group of co-interns, and they are unsurprisingly having lunch together. I have this feeling that Chio managed to talk to all of them noong first day pa lang. Ikaw???

Lunch too

Mag-isa ka? Chat mo si sab

Gusto mo message ko???

May kasabay ako

Sino??

Another intern

Ok galingan mo whooo

My eyebrows furrow. What? I look over my shoulders to check at Pearl. She's still in line.

Kaya mo yan HAHAHAHAHA

No ulam mo

Sinigang

Ok ubusin mo kanin mo

Makipagfriend ka na kaya mo yan 🥰 Go aju

I sigh. I hesitate before replying, I'm nervous.

I thought he's going to laugh. Pero ang sabi lang niya, Bakit naman? Di ka mapapano dyan.

I don't know.

Isipin mo na lang parang yung Ced lang yan haha

Wag ka magphone pag kumakain para kausapin ka niya

What if super quiet? Okay. Try ko.

Friends pa ba kayo nung Ced

My forehead creases. Why wouldn't we be? Tuloy-tuloy naman ang classes namin sa Spanish, so we still talk in class. Not much na lang outside of it. Yes.

Hindi siya nag-reply. I ask, Why?

Wala magseselos na sana ako pero ako lang naman minemegaultrasuper laplap mo kaya umurong 👍🏻

Jesus. Naitaob ko ang phone ko. I chuck it inside my bag because Pearl suddenly shows up with our food. "Okay ka lang?" she asks before sitting down in front of me. "Pula yung face mo."

I just force a smile and nod. Patay sa 'kin 'yun si Chio mamaya.

*

I am not sure kung anong oras makakarating si Chio, so I decided against waiting in the car. Pinuntahan ko lang 'yun saglit to check, let some air out and let the interior cool down, then leave some of my stuff there before going back to the building and wait. I sit on the empty spot in the gang chairs lined up sa lobby. Makakatulog pa ako rito dahil tama lang ang lamig at hindi masyadong maingay.

"Ju?"

I look to the direction of where the sound came from. It's Pearl. Nakaupo siya sa kabilang column ng lobby chairs, also alone.

"Hi," bati ko. I did not notice her slip away from the group kanina noong nag-clock out ako.

"May hinihintay ka?" she asks from where she's sitting. I nod. "Hinihintay ko kasi yung friends ko," she adds, and I am not quite sure what to reply so I just smile. She doesn't say anything more, so I close my eyes both to avoid further conversation at para makapagpahinga.

Maybe it's because I'm too tired, or because the temperature's just right but I end up falling asleep. Nagising na lang ako when I sense some harsh light hitting me directly on the face. When I open my eyes, the first thing I see in my line of vision is a few pieces of paper held in front of me in landscape.

When I turn my head to the right, I see Chio na siyang may hawak ng mga papel na 'yun, trying to shield my face from the sun. My body's instinct is to just let my head drop to his shoulder. God, my neck hurts. How long have I been napping?

Chio lightly hits my face with the papers he's holding. I didn't mind. Hinayaan niya yung nakadantay sa noo ko at nakataklob sa mukha ko. "Binuksan ko yung payong ko, pinagsabihan ako ng guard. Bakit dito ka kasi natulog? Naaarawan ka tuloy."

"How long have you been waiting?" I ask, eyes still closed. Now that I got some rest, I'm hungry.

"Di ko alam," Chio answers with a laugh. "Di ko na pinansin oras. Sarap ng tulog mo e."

Umayos ako sa pagkakaupo, and he brings down the papers he's holding to his lap. I squint my eyes at the entrance. Deretsong-deretso pala ang araw dito kapag ganitong oras.

"Nakabalandra pa 'yang phone mo—hawak-hawak mo lang e tulog na tulog ka. Pa'no kung na-snatch 'yan?" The guard is literally a few meters in front of us, sitting in front of a monitor screen showing multiple tiles of CCTV angles, but I see his point. "Saka nasa'n ang gamit mo? Iniisip ko kung may nakakuha na o hindi mo lang dala e."

For some reason, I find myself smiling sa dere-deretso niyang pagsasalita. So nice to hear his voice after a whole day of awkward small talk sa room namin kanina. "Iniwan ko sa kotse. Tara na ba?"

He sighs. I look up at him and bury my smile on his arm when I see his crumpled face habang sinusubukang hindi matinag ng araw. He taps my knee before standing up then pulling his backpack closer to me. "Magsi-CR lang ako. Di kita maiwan kanina kasi tulog ka e," he says.

"Okay." Pinanood ko siyang umalis.

My plan is to glue my eyes on the hallway where he vanished into until he comes back, pero nabali 'yun when someone speaks. "Boyfriend mo ba 'yun?"

I turn my head so quickly. For a moment it's like I forgot how to speak, so I was just staring at Pearl who looks genuinely curious. Where are her damn friends at bakit nandito pa rin siya at mag-isa?

"No," I manage to let the word out kahit kumakalabog ang dibdib ko. "He's a friend."

She nods. I do not know why I'm worried. Besides, it's not like I'm going to see her for the rest of the year. I should not even worry about kung ano'ng makita at isipin niya given that we're parting ways after summer.

"Mukha kayong magjowa," she insists.

"We're friends," I reiterate.

"May gusto ba sa 'yo 'yun?" Mapilit pala siya. I thought she's quiet.

"Wala," I answer, certain.

She arches a brow. "Mukha siyang may gusto sa 'yo."

Fuck, wala nga, putang ina. She needs to stop because the hammering in my chest just keeps multiplying every time she speaks. "You're imagining things," sabi ko. Or maybe I should just shut up. Hindi naman ako required na i-correct siya. And Chio should hurry up para makaalis na kami.

"You don't even know him," I add. I thought I got her already because may sense yung sinabi ko—na she doesn't know him kaya how can she say such absurd things and arrive at that ridiculous conclusion?

Pero either makulit siya or she just wants to talk to me dahil bored na siya sa kahihintay sa friends niya. "Obvious kaya!"

I sigh and massage my temples. Ang tagal ni Chio.

I should stop asking questions and engaging para naman maramdaman niyang wala akong energy to deal with nonsense. Kagigising ko lang. At ang sakit ng likod ko kanina pa dahil hindi maganda yung chair na ginagamit ng mga nagda-draft.

"Obvious how?" I ask, kasi bobo rin ako minsan. I know I should not, and I know she has it all wrong, but a part of me still felt the need to ask. At pakiramdam ko, hindi ako makakatulog mamayang gabi if I didn't ask Pearl about it.

Lumipat siya sa end chair, mas malapit sa 'kin, like she's so eager to talk about it.

As if there's much to talk about.

E wala nga.

"Noong dumating siya, tumayo siya siya d'an sa tapat mo," she says.

My forehead creases. E ano? "What? Dapat ba lumuhod siya?"

She rolls her eyes. I sigh and press my lips together, reminding myself na hindi kami friends and I do not know her well enough so I should be careful kung paano ako makikipag-usap sa kaniya. And that I should not overthink that eyeroll. "Tumayo nga siya d'yan!" ulit niya, may gigil pa, then she points at the spot on the floor in front of me. "D'yan! Nilapag niya 'yang bag niya sa tabi mo tapos tumayo lang siya d'yan. Nakaharap sa 'yo."

I still don't understand it. She just stares at me incredulously. What? I don't see what's odd with what Chio did sa kinukuwento niya.

"Tapos tiningnan ka lang niya."

I look away. "And?"

"Nakatayo siya sa harap mo kasi bina-block niya yung araw. Jusko, ano ba'ng kausap 'to . . ." she replies, lowering her voice towards the latter part of her statement. "Ang tagal niyang nakatayo kaya d'yan. Sinita ko no'ng una kasi baka mamaya, di mo naman pala kilala, e di ang creepy? Katatawag ko pa lang ng kuya sa kaniya at itatanong ko kung bakit siya nakatambay sa harap mo, sinenyasan na 'kong manahimik, sabi dahil baka magising ka. So, in-assume ko na lang na kilala mo . . ."

I grab Chio's bag. Gusto ko nang umalis. "Ang tagal niyang nakatayo d'yan," Pearl continues, and it takes a lot of self control not to tell her to shut up because what she's saying doesn't mean anything. I start to count backwards from twenty. "No'ng umupo siya sa tabi mo, bumalik na yung guard, kaya sinita siya no'ng nagbukas siya ng payong habang nasa loob ng building. Kaya ayun . . . yung papel na dala niya ginawa niyang harang sa araw."

I sigh. I turn my head to look at her para sigurado akong kita niya how sure I am na she has it all wrong. "We're friends. Gano'n talaga siya."

She doesn't look convinced. Well, bahala siya. "Grabe naman yung friend mo kung pa'no ka niya panooring matulog . . ."

She's wrong. Pero, fine, I get her. I know what she's talking about. Sometimes, Chio is just looking at me but it feels like he's gently cupping my cheeks. Or when I would accidentally meet his gaze in the middle of the day, then he would smile with his eyes, it feels like being enveloped in a warm, weighted blanket. Even when he's merely watching me from the shotgun seat while I drive, it takes a lot of mental strength not to just pull over and pull him with me in the backseat so we can hug for a few minutes before going back sa daan.

The way he looks at me makes me want hugs. And I don't even like hugs.

But still, Pearl's wrong. That's just the way Chio is. And I know better not to mistake his tenderness for something else. Alam naman naming parehas kung ano'ng pinasok namin, and it's not quite near with what Pearl's insinuating.

"Malisyosa ka lang," was all I was able to say. That earns me a laugh from her, so I guess it's safe to say na may kasabay na akong mag-lunch from here onwards. I just hope she doesn't bring this up ulit because I'm not sure kung hanggang saan ang kaya kong i-tolerate hanggang sa mapikon ako.

And thank God, Chio's back. Napatingin siya kay Pearl when she waves goodbye to us, and I wave back out of courtesy kahit na naiinis ako roon sa sinabi niya kanina. I keep on ramming my heart into its place so it would stop frantically jumping around my chest, but it just won't stop.

"Kilala mo 'yun?" Chio asks when Pearl is finally out of earshot. I nod. "Naks, may friend na siya o . . ." nang-aasar niyang dagdag kaya napailing na lang ako. Parang bata naman akong iniwan niya sa kindergarten to make friends. "Bakit ka mukhang stressed?"

I shake my head dismissively. "Wala. She's just . . . talkative."

He chuckles. "Ano'ng pangalan niya?"

"Pearl. Napahiwalay siya sa friends niya," I answer. "She's okay, but kind of . . . off."

Pumasok kami sa sasakyan. Maganda pala yung napag-park-an ko kaninang umaga dahil hindi masyadong naaarawan kapag ganitong oras. Chio dusts his lap before leaning over to put his bag sa backseat. I am too aware of his hand that decided to glue itself sa likuran ng headrest ng driver's seat when I key in the ignition.

"Bakit naman?" he asks. I look at him and catch him unabashedly staring at me. My heart skips a beat. Binaba ko ang visor at nagkunwaring inaayos ang buhok ko habang nakatingin sa salamin. Even if in reality, I just need to buy myself a few seconds. I don't think I can pull out of the parking spot with my hands slightly shaking.

"I mean . . ." He's still looking. Boring holes on my cheek. I take in a sharp breath when his hand reaches for my hair and tucks it behind my ear. He should stop. Kaya siya pinaghihinalaan ni Pearl e.

"She's making things up," I say, forcing myself to look at him. Maybe if I brave myself enough to hold his gaze I wouldn't be so affected by it kasi masasanay ako.

He blinks slowly. And I notice that there's the thinnest dot on his eyelid that cannot be seen unless nakapikit siya because it disappears between his eyelid folds. The guy has unbelievably long lashes.

Is this really helping? Parang hindi naman kumakalma ang dibdib ko the more I try na sanayin ang sarili kong tagpuin ang tingin niya.

His forehead creases. "Gaya ng?"

I shake my head. Umiwas ako ng tingin. Pearl's just getting to my head. "Nothing."

"Weh?" Napalingon ulit ako kay Chio. He's still staring at me. Parang may detector yung mata niya at gagalaw nang kusa wherever my face goes.

Binalik ko ang tingin ko sa daan. I pull out the driveway. "Can you stop that?"

"Ang alin?"

Shit. "Looking at me."

"Huh?" He sounds genuinely confused. He laughs. "Ano? Di kita titingnan? Kinakabahan ka bang mag-drive?"

His smile fades when I glance him for a second, unable to hide my scowl. Na-stress ako bigla. I try to keep a neutral expression dahil ayaw ko namang ibunton sa kaniya yung stress ko coming from whatever Pearl said. I really shouldn't have asked. Sana hinayaan ko na lang ang sarili kong ma-curious. That would have been better than, I don't know, this?

"Ano'ng meron?" he asks, in a tone gentler this time that makes me want to stop the car, pull him out of the shotgun seat, and just crawl on top of him in the backseat and put my weight on him and sleep on his chest and wake up having his heartbeat the first thing I would hear.

"Ano'ng 'wag kang tingnan?" Now he sounds serious. I can't do serious with him right now. Balik na lang siya to turning his mind off and telling me jokes or stories about people I do not know. Ayaw ko palang pag-usapan 'to. It's making my hands clammy. Besides, wala rin namang kwentang topic.

"No, I mean . . ." I really should not have told him that. I feel like magtatampo siya if I don't clarify it with him. Pero how do I get out of this ngayong nandito na?

"Pearl just said something . . . weird," I explain. "Pero you know what? Nevermind. Promise, walang sense. Do you want to eat?" I try changing the topic.

He shakes his head no. He's not letting it go. "Ano'ng meron? Ano'ng sinabi niya?"

I sigh. Well, kasalanan ko. I could not keep my mouth shut and my mind quiet and my heart calm when he was looking at me and that's not a good thing to combine with what Pearl said earlier.

"It doesn't matter," sagot ko, but of course that's not convincing because for some reason my heart is racing and I'm fucking nervous so I don't sound like I mean it. Even if I do.

It really doesn't matter. It doesn't make sense.

It's not happening.

Why bother thinking about it?

"Maybe she's just trying na makipag-convo para mas okay rapport sa office," I add. That's not an answer but that's all I have.

He turns quiet, so I thought he let it go na and realized na I'm telling the truth when I told him na wala ngang kwenta yung sinabi ni Pearl kanina. But then I look at him nang maipit kami saglit sa traffic ng mga sasakyang lumalabas ng parking, tapos magkadikit pa rin yung mga kilay niya.

"Ano'ng kinalaman n'un sa 'wag kang tingnan?" he asks.

"Wala nga."

"Meron." God, I hate that this guy can read me. Nilingon ko ulit siya. Yup, definitely not letting this go.

"Sabi niya kasi . . ." Puta. Should I do this while I'm driving? Parang di ako maka-focus. "Sabi niya you look at me like—"

No, I can't do it.

"Wala. She's making it up."

He clicks his tongue. "Ano nga?"

"Di ka ba titigil until I tell you?"

"Hindi," he replies with a laugh.

I pull over to the side of the road. FUCK, okay. It doesn't matter if I tell him kasi it sounds ridiculous.

Tatawanan lang namin 'to.

'Tang ina, tatawanan lang namin 'to.

"You look at me like you like me. Tapos we look like we're together."

There. Fuck. Done.

I go back sa traffic.

Putang ina. Ang hirap huminga. Lalo na with the silence that came after.

Good job, Ju. Na-awkward-an yata si Chio dahil sa sinabi ko.

But it's his fault. He asked! Sabi ko 'wag na e.

"See?" tanong ko after the long and awkward stretch of silence. "Weird," I say. "Weird, di ba?" I ask him.

I glance at him quickly. I see him nodding and it took a lot of power not to hit the brakes when I felt my chest tightening. And I hate—hate that it does. Kasi bakit, 'tang ina?

"Oo," he agrees, laughing.

Meekly.

And I know him well enough that that's not how he sounds when he finds something genuinely funny.

But I don't ask. I've done enough asking for today that I end up regretting. Hay nako, Pearl.

And I'm probably just making things up. Maybe he finds it funny talaga, and I just don't hear it with how hard my heart is thumping against my chest and with the painful pulsing on my temple. I have to take in a deep breath every three minutes or so because of the lump in my throat that appeared out of nowhere tapos walang balak umalis.

He naps on the road, surprisingly. Pagod na pagod siguro talaga because he never sleeps sa daan when he's with me, at least since the past few days. He wakes up just in time na makarating kami sa may guard house, and tells me to drop him off there dahil gusto niyang maglakad-lakad bago umuwi.

He reaches for his bag sa backseat. At baka ako lang ulit ang nag-iisip pero ang awkward talaga. I sit upright when I see from my peripheral that he turns to look at me.

Only for me to melt into a slouching position when he kisses my cheek, and then my temple, which magically makes the throbbing in my head disappear.

"Harap ka dito," utos niya. His lips land on mine the second I did as he said. Ganito lang . . . not whatever Pearl's imagining. It doesn't mean anything. We just enjoy it. "Ingat."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow?" I ask.

He blinks a few times as if thinking, then shakes his head no and unlocks the door. "'Wag na."

"Babalik kayo ng lunch?"

He looks over his shoulders before he hops out of the vehicle. He hesitantly shakes his head no.

Oh. We're not seeing each other tomorrow, then?

"How about sa isang araw?" I can adjust.

He doesn't close the door agad and just stares at me for a full minute before showing me a smile. He shakes his head no. "Sabay tayo bukas. Pero uwian na lang ulit?"

I nod a little too quickly for my liking. "Okay."

He still doesn't let go of the door. "Aju."

"Yes?"

"Okay tayo?"

My forehead creases. "Hindi tayo okay?"

He chuffs. "Okay tayo," he says, putting me at ease, but that doesn't last long because he follows it with, "Weird nga yung bagong friend mo, kung ano-ano'ng sinasabi. Ingat." Then, he shuts the door.

I swallow the lump in my throat. Tama naman yung sinabi niya. He said the truth and gave me the response I'm expecting so I'm not sure why something stings. He's right; Pearl's just saying nonsense.

Besides, what's there to like?