The panic attack I had knocked me out for the next 24 hours. I ended up in the same room Carson stayed in because I kept trying to tear my hair out in episodes of stress and panic. I slept on and off, sweating out of my own bones, flinching at every sound.

Fun times.

I curled into a ball, head pounding, with the covers pulled up over my head to block out the afternoon sun. I had no clue what time it was nor did I care.

Matthew knocked on the door, peaking in through the crack Carson had left open. I peaked overtop the blankets, glancing at the time.  10:07 a.m. I didn't know where my oldest brother had disappeared to, but he let me sleep in so it was all good. 

"Matty, leave me alone," I mumbled, pulling the blankets over my head.

"Come downstairs, breakfast is ready." Matthew wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to go. Carson, where the hell are you?

"Tarryn, you need to eat with your meds."

I ignored him.

"Tarryn -"

"Go away."

"You need to eat breakfast."

"Bring me breakfast in bed and I'll eat."

My brother scoffed. "Do I look like your slave?"

"I'm not coming downstairs."

"Why?"

"Does it matter? I said I'm not going downstairs. Let it go," I grumbled, his persistence annoying me. I bet I annoyed him too, but I didn't care.

Matthew didn't say anything else but I heard his footsteps thumping down the hall. Probably on his way to bitch about me to Carson.

I rolled towards the window, seeing rain droplets slide down. Gilbert snuggled close to me, purring. 

***

I snuck around the house, trying to find my grandfather. Never believed I would say that, after my parents told me they passed years ago.

"Tarryn." Carson strolled down the hallway, just as I reached the library doors. He stopped in front of me, holding my medication in one hand and a plate of scrambled eggs and toast. "You need to take these and eat. Why didn't you come find me?" He tilted his head partially and waited for me to take the plate.

"I forgot. Sorry-"

"You know you can't forget these," he said, firm and a bit annoyed.

I took the plate and shrugged. "Thanks."

Carson sighed and opened the door for me. "We need to talk," he said following me inside. Ivan wasn't in sight. I ignored my brother, pissed off with him and the rest of my siblings. They were keeping things from me and they knew I hated secrecy. "Tarryn, I'll answer anything you want to know right now but to be honest, I don't know much either."

"Did you know about Skyler being best friends with an FBI agent?"

Carson shook his head. "No, I didn't. Only Dad and Skyler knew. Well, probably mom and Jed too."

"Why are the FBI involved with our family? Is it because of the Paul Kessler case?"

"No, it's more complex than that."

"Explain."

"Mom and dad were apart of a gang," my brother said, "before June and I were born. Since high school. I don't know much more about their involvement than you do."

"What else do you know?"

"Not much, actually."

"How helpful." I mumbled, collapsing down into the window seat. "Sons of Solomon ... they were members?"

"Yes ... mom, she was born into the gang. Dad joined when he married her."
M
"Why did they leave? Why did we never meet Ivan?"
I asked, not understanding how my parents could keep such a secret.

"They left because they ran into some trouble with a rival gang."Skyler came into the library behind Carson. "They witnessed a murder. You weren't born yet."

"That doesn't explain why we never met Ivan. Or your best friend Sam."

"Mom and dad never mentioned it because they were in witness protection. In order for them to keep custody of us, they had to cut relations with the gang. For four years, they made new lives with new names. Dad grew his business and for a while, mom and her brother Christian were able to stay in contact. Until the rival gang found them, found all of us and tried to kidnap you."

"Skyler-" Carson warned

"What? Someone tried to kidnap me?" This was news to me. Carson seemed annoyed at how much Skyler was spilling.

"Yeah. You were young, it's not a surprise you don't remember," Carson murmured, crossing his arms over his chest. My nightmares came to mind.

"What happened after that?"

"Mom and dad ... they decided to divorce. Dad moved to Seattle. Mom met Jed a few months after the police infiltrated the rival gang."

"I don't ... why didn't they ever say anything?"

"I ... I don't know. They never talked much about it with anyone of us. I'm sorry, bub, I know this is overwhelming."

"Dad had contracts with Ruby Thorndyke. Did he ... did he know it was a trafficking ring?"

Skyler nodded. "He was working with the FBI though. Mom too, but she had began her own investigation. Sorta."

"What do you mean sorta?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Mom started meeting with a woman named Treva Yang. The agents on the case figured that much out, but that's it," Skyler said, sighing. "Do you know the name?"

I shook my head. "No. Mom, despite what you think, didn't tell me a lot about this case."

Carson walked up to Skyler, but kept his gaze on me. "Eat your breakfast. You can't take those pills on an empty stomach," he said and I opened my mouth to tell him off but he beat me to it. "We're going to help in the barn today."

"What? Why? You know I don't like chickens and cows."

Carson shoots me a bewildering look. "You have never ever once said you disliked cows and chickens."

"I'm allergic to the smell."

"Now you're just being ridiculous."

"Whatever. I'm not helping in the stupid barn. We're not on some cowboy ranch vacation, Carson." 

Skyler smirked. "I agree with her, C. I'm not helping either."

"Is there anything on mom?" I asked, changing the subject. 

Carson shook his head. "No, still no leads yet."

"How's dad?"

"He's still in a coma, but his brain activity is normal. The doctors believe he'll wake up soon." 

I bit my lip. "What's that mean, soon? Like hours, days, weeks ..."

"There isn't a timeline, Tarryn. I'm sorry, I wish I had more answers for you." 

"Yeah. Me too."

***

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Thunder struck a couple miles, making me jump out of my skin.

 I HATED thunder. In fact I feared it more than everything, tears running down my face, waiting. At least until the storm passes. this particular night was long and agonizing. cracks of thunder and the flash of lightning every couple of seconds.

This crack shook me to the core causing me to scream out, shooting up from the bed, wrapped in the covers. I quickly try to cover your ears for another blow.

I let out the loudest scream at the crack of thunder, I am sure I woke the entire house. The lightning is getting closer to the house by the minute and I was terrified. My eyes flickered all over the room, searching for something to calm me, until I heard my door creak open.

"Bub, what the hell are you doing?" someone asked. Trey. I was quick to snap my head to door way where I saw my brother standing in the hall, in fact he was looking at me like I had five heads.

I eyes squeezed shut as I shot out of bed.

BOOM. BOOM

"It's okay, you're safe," Trey said, but I shook my head. I couldn't stay in here any longer, dying alone in a thunder storm just wasn't the way I was meant to go. 

"You don't understand. I-I have to go." 

I ran out of the room, heading for Matthew's room. He understood more than anyone. I reached the end of the hallway, outside my older brothers room, but before I could enter, I heard voices. 

"Tell her the truth," Matthew snapped.

"No, I can't -" June.

"It's not her concern -" Carson defended his twin.

"She doesn't trust us, Carson." 

Damn straight I don't, Matty.

Secrets. More fucking secrets.

"Tarryn." I spun around to see Trey and Skyler. 

"I'm done with this," I hissed and turned on my heel to walk away. I heard my oldest brother swear and knew he had rushed into the hallway. 

"We can explain this bub-" June called out but I kept on walking. 

I sneered, reaching the staircase. "I don't care, June. I don't care what you have to say anymore. It's probably all lies anyway." 

"Where do you think you're going, Tarryn," Matthew snapped. "Tarryn." 

"I'm leaving." 

***

Well I doubt she'll get far but she's had enough. I would too. 

Please comment and vote, I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

Thank you for reading - Charlie 🧡