TW: violence and mental health

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I had an aunt I had no idea about. Eleanor. Dads twin sister. Murdered.

... whoever killed her also killed Jed.

"How do you know that?" I asked, my mind racing. "Did you look at the reports?"

"The wounds are the same. They're messy but each stab wounds are replicated on both."

"It's not a coincidence?"

"No." He took a deep breath. "I ... Skyler and I bribed forensics to send us the photos. The coroner determined that both wounds were made with a eight-nine inch knife. Twice in the neck and once in the heart."

"So it's the same guy?"

"Seems that way." Carson leaned forward, knocking his knee against mine. "Hey, how have you been feeling? Your heart, I mean. Are you experiencing any side effects?"

"You are not my doctor, Carson."

He nodded, lips pulling up in a thin smile. He leaned forward to peer at my face, the silver chain he wore with a skull pendant dangling from his neck. "I am your temporary guardian, I need to know if you experience any abnormalities than usual."

I shook my head. "I don't want you to be my guardian," I said, harsher than intended.

He chuckled, rubbing his mouth, his eyes closing. "I don't want to be your guardian either," he murmured, taking a deep, sad breath. "I didn't sign up for this, Tarryn, but it is what it is. I want to be your brother, not your parent."

Somehow, his words hurt and made me feel better. "Look on the bright side ... I'll be eighteen in a few months. Whatever happens, you won't have to deal with me much longer."

"That's not what I meant," he said, snapping his head up and narrowing his eyes. I knew what he meant, my brother would do anything for me. He didn't want the responsibility of someone else, and I couldn't blame him for that.

"It's okay. I'll likely die in a few years anyway. Bad heart, right? Don't worry so much," I said, reaching up to pat his shoulder, but couldn't help but smile.

Carson snorted. "You're such an ass, you know that?"

I shrugged, laughing. "Yeah I know."

My brother shifted, facing me and reached out to grip my hand. The gesture surprised me and his eyes softened. "Don't talk about dying, okay? I won't allow it. Until mom and dad come back, you're stuck with me."

"Yay," I muttered, shrieking when he pulled me into him.

"I'm sorry, I take it back okay?"

"Do you think mom's will come back? Do you think someone is hurting her?"

"Mom ... she didn't want us to know about Sons of Solomon, to be involved with their businesses ... but she wouldn't talk about it with any of us. We're in the dark too, bub."

"What businesses? Human trafficking?"

Carson stiffened. "No. Mom and dad would never," he said, but I could hear the uncertainty in the cracks of his voice. "Sons of Solomon are into some illegal shit, but not human trafficking. Not that I ..." he trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut, but I could easily fill in his words - not that I know of.

"How can you be sure? Dad had contracts with Ruby Thorndyke." I shuddered, the idea making the hairs on my neck stand up.

"I know, Tarryn. Look, I don't know much about why mom and dad were involved with them, all I know is that they were also working with the FBI and other agencies to bring the trafficking ring and the people behind it down."

"Mom was using her connections with her family to get more information about Ruby Thorndyke. Do you think that there are more people out there trafficking girls that mom didn't know about, but connected to Thorndyke?"

"Yes. It's ..." he trailed off, biting his lip. "I am not supposed to know this, mom never wanted me - any of us - to know but she had an older sister. Katerina."

What? What the fuck?

Why did my parents have any more hidden family members? What else have they kept secrets about?

"What happened to her? Katerina, I mean. I never heard mom say she had a sister."

"She didn't speak much about her family," he said, "She broke ties with them when we were babies, until recently. Katerina was sixteen when she went missing. Police suspected that she was taken by her older boyfriend and sold to human traffickers."

"Oh God. Poor mom."

"I caught her crying one night when I was about sixteen," he said, closing his eyes. "She was clutching a box, wooden with dozens of pictures and newspaper cutouts. She explained to me she had a sister, but she passed away years ago."

"No wonder she's so determined and compassionate about her work. She knows ..." I breathed. "She knows what it's like to have someone she loves taken from her."

"Mom and dad have a lot of secrets."

So many secrets. How many more were there?

"Do you think it might be someone from her past or dads?"

Carson nodded. "Yes, it's a possibility."

"Did you ever meet Eleanor?" I continued my interrogation.

"I have." Skyler appeared behind us, moving to sit on the step beside me. "A few months ago."

"What?" Carson asked, furrowing his brows in confusion. "You never said anything to me-"

"Dad told me he'd skin me alive if I told anyone. Eleanor came into the office, frantic, telling Clarice she needed to talk to dad."

"What did she want?"

"I don't know. Dad wouldn't tell me."

"That's helpful, Sky. Thank you so much," I said, rolling my eyes. Carson nudged my ribs, a silent be nice. Skyler chuckled, unbothered by my sassiness. "If it's someone she knew before ... we pretty much know nothing."

"Go take your meds, Tarryn," Carson ordered and i gritted my teeth.

"You can't boss me- alright, alright, I'm going," I muttered, standing when Carson glared. "Jeez." Inside, I found Sam and Matthew chatting in the kitchen, barely acknowledging me. Not that I cared, I would much rather not be included in meaningless chitchat.

I couldn't think straight, my thoughts racing.

I went to the counter, reaching for the black pouch, unzipping it, and took out my medication. Bisoprolol and Nadolol - to stop pain in my chest and increase blood flow to my heart. And finally, Prozac - for the anxiety I have been blessed with since the ripe age of five.

Lucky me.

"Tarryn, hello? Anyone home in there?" Matthew stood in front of me, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes.

"Huh?" I mumbled, squinting my eyes.

"Did you hear a word of what I just said?" Matthew narrowed his eyes. "Do you pay attention to anything?"

"Gretchen asked you a question."

"I didn't hear her."

She forced a smile, glancing up from her phone. "I heard you're interested in law. Do you work on cases with your mom?"

"She's not allowed to tell me about her cases."

Matthew smirked, squinting his eyes. "Bullshit. You were like her second opinion, her second eyes. She practically groomed you for a job in crime."

"I have no clue what you mean."

Matthew flared his nostrils. Gretchen reached up, and wrapped her fingers around my brother's wrist. "It's okay, Matt."

What the fuck? I rubbed my hand over my eyes, glancing from Gretchen, gaze flickering to her hand on my brothers, trying to decipher the gesture.

Did she have some sort of romantic interest with my brother?

Ew, gross, I didn't even want to think about it. She's like five years older than him.

"We don't know anything about our mom-"

I caught a snippet of my brother speaking to Gretchen.

We don't know anything about our mom. I didn't know anything about my mom. And that felt like a punch to my stomach. Jesse, otherwise known as Detective Hayward, came into view. His eyes met mine and he shit a friendly smile.

"Hey, Tarryn," he said, holding up a burner phone. "Your brothers told me you want to talk to Trey and June."

My eyes widened. "I can call them?"

He nodded. "Yeah. He's on speed dial. Keep it short." He tossed the phone and I caught it, giving him a grateful nod.

I settled down in the living room, on the window seat over looking the cornfield, and wrapped a grey throw over my legs. I pressed my sisters name, listening to it dial, my ears buzzing.

"Hello?"

"Trey?"

"Hey bubba," my brother said softly. "How are you?"

"I don't know anymore," I mumbled. "I miss you. How are you and June?"

"I miss you too," he whispered, and I could almost hear his trademark, devilish smirk ..."I guess."

I scoffed, hearing him chuckle on the other end. "You miss me, admit it ... Where's June? I want to talk to her."

"She got in the shower a few minutes ago. I'll tell her to call in the morning, 'kay?" He sounded off and it made my heart shudder.

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying, Tarryn. June went to take a shower, she's ... she's not feeling well," he said, calm, but I heard the catch in his voice, the hesitation.

"Trey, please, I haven't talked to her since ..." I trailed off, not remembering the last time I spoke to my sister. I needed to speak with her. "Come on, a few seconds even."

"I can hear the water. I promise to make sure she calls you back tomorrow."

"Okay, if you say so," I muttered. "Is Josiah and Jude with you?"

"Yes."

"Can I talk to them? Well, actually just Josiah. Jude is kinda annoying." I chuckled a little at the end, hoping he'd give in, just this once. My chatty and talkative brother stayed quiet, and that was unnerving. "Let me talk to Joey, Trey."

"You can't right now."

"Trey let me talk to him, now. Please."

"I'm sorry. We've been told you can only talk to me."

"And June," I muttered.

"Right," he said. "I'm sorry." He apologized again, and I knew our older brothers had already gotten to them. What if something bad happened? He was lying. Everyone tells you lies. They keep secrets.

"No you're not. Hope whatever you're hiding is worth it. Talk to you later."

"Wait-"

I hung up on him and threw the burner phone at the end of the couch. I flung my head back, resting against the plush pillow, an anxious feeling twisting, yanking on my inside, like a crow trapped in my belly. An angry, frantic crow. Claws scratching, tearing me apart from the inside out.

The thing is, the one person who always knew what to do, had the answers to everything, and to help me when I felt like this, who appeared when I had the worst attacks, was missing. My mom was missing.

My mom and I were close. Matthew was right. She did share her cases with me. Except she left out everything about Sons of Solomon and her entire involvement with them, Ruby Thorndyke, and her past.

She was my best friend. We ate late dinners together, going over case files, names, dates, anything and everything she wasn't supposed to speak of, at least not of her office and colleagues. And especially not to your family, and especially not to seventeen year old daughter.

Yet she did. She said I'd be studying criminology next year in college. Over the last few months, we had spent hours together. And then slowly, subtly, she began to slip through my fingers. And I didn't even fucking notice.

She was the only one to see how bad my anxiety had gotten. Full on meltdowns, trips to the hospital in the middle of the night, dozens of doctors appointments to regulate my meds. It was never ending. I didn't notice or kick up an stink when she would tell me to hang out with Josiah and our friends. When she would text late and night and say she had to stay longer. She did it all the time before, so I hadn't thought much of her disappearing at times. My mom would say it had something to do with the Kessler trial and explain everything - though it wasn't until she went missing, she hadn't told me all of it.

I thought I knew her like the back of my hand, but I was wrong. I didn't know her at all.

And now, she was gone.

+++

I tiptoed down the hall, feeling like absolute shit. My forehead was slick with sweat, having spent the last half hour trying to calm myself down from totally losing control.

Gilbert followed, chirping. The closer I came to the staircase, a voice rose from down the hall. "June, please, don't do this," my oldest brother pleaded, sounding distraught. "Talk to me, say anything, but don't shut me out."

I didn't hear her respond but she must have because Carson swore. "I need you to, please, for me. For Trey. For Tarryn. I can't lose you too, Junebug. Please - just do what they say."

Another pause. "Yeah, I know, I know ... They're okay ... just confused and scared. Everyone is at this point."

Another minute went by, my sisters angry voice coming through the phone. Whatever she said was muffled, though it seemed to make Carson frustrated. "No, I don't fucking give a shit. This is not a choice you have, June-"

"Eavesdropping?" I froze at the sound of Matthew's teasing voice behind me. I ignored him, turning to make my way to the staircase. "You should be in bed."

I continued down, not bothering to speak to my brother. "Hey - excuse me, don't ignore me you little shit," he hissed, following me. I didn't want to see him or the other two either. I walked into the kitchen, the light above the sink enough for me to make it to the table.

"I'm getting some water," I snapped, throwing the cupboard open, grabbing a tall glass. "Or is that a problem?"

"You hung up on Trey. He's not happy."

"He'll get over it."

Matthew stood behind me. "Tarryn, you haven't been sleeping. You're more ... reserved."

"Well I'm sorry I can't go on with my life like you fuckers can," I hissed, spinning around to face him. He flinched back at the harshness.

"We're trying ... and if you really think we don't care - then maybe you should look a little deeper," he said, crossing his arms. "Skyler is up half the night, talking with investigators on the case, with or doing his own search. Carson is drowning himself with worry, about you and his own patients. Trey and June are losing their fucking minds with anxiety and helplessness."

I stayed quiet.

"We are all lost ... sad ... angry. You know damn well that everyone deals with tragedy in their own way."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

Matthew didn't speak for a moment. "You don't have to be sorry. We've been distant, Skylar, Carson, June, and I. We know that," Matthew said and I glanced down, clenching my jaw. "I'm sorry for that."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, quietly. "About your heart."

"It ... we didn't know anything for certain ... and I didn't want anyone to worry."

"Would you have told us? If Carson didn't know?" I didn't answer but that's all the answer he needed. He narrowed his eyes, clenching his jaw. "I overheard dad talking to mom. You've been in more fights, going to party's, sneaking out. Why?"

"They're overreacting."

"No. There's something else. Tell me."

"I don't know what you mean. I don't know anything about her disappearance. How many times do I have to say it?"

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it!" Matthew seethed, but his eyes burned with concern. "I know how you become when you're anxious. You become reckless and irrational."

"You're fucking your life up," he murmured, "this is your second chance and you're fucking it up."

"Fuck off, Matty. You don't know shit."

"I know you're hurting and you're taking it out on yourself. Whatever happened to mom is not on you."

"You don't know that."

"What the hell are you two doing up?" I started, looking behind Matthew to see Skyler. He stood shirtless, arms crossed over his chest, with black shorts. The tattoos on his right arm and chest were visible. "Tarryn, you should be asleep."

I scoffed. "I'm not a fucking child."

"You certainly act like one," Matthew muttered and I lunged for him. He reached for my arm but Skyler blocked him, standing between us.

"Woah - no fighting," he growled, pushing Matthew away. "Go take a walk ... go, Matty, you know I don't like to repeat myself."

Images flooded my thoughts, the world before me fading.

Tall trees rising out of the earth to brush the sun kissed sky. Wind rustled through leaves. The smell of smoke choking me, lungs squeezing tight.

My moms face appeared in front of me, eyes wild and frantic. ""Run, Tarryn," she cried, pushing me away from her. "Go get your father. Go get help."

I fell backwards, landing down a small hill, smacking my head against a moss covered rock.
A sinister chuckled echoed. "She's not just yours, Eliza." It's a voice I didn't recognize. "Where are they? You know what happens when I don't get what I want."

"You will stay away from them."

I hoisted myself up and hid behind a tree, peeking around it. Two figures stood in the small opening in the forest, my mom and a man I've never met. His back was turned towards me, and he remained faceless.

A look of sheer terror fell over my mom.

"Call them out. You know I don't like to repeat myself," the man said, his voice low but ice cold. I backed up, stepping on a branch, the snap it made sending a chill down my spine.

The faceless man turned -

Smack. I gasped, a feeling of dread weighing me down as my mom slapped him. The man chuckled, tilting his head. "Oh, you'll regret that, you fucking bitch." He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, my mom dipping her chin.

He swung his arm, hitting my mom, and making her crumble to the soft, dewy grass. A blood curdling scream pricked in my throat, but a hand covered my hand, muffling the scream.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I felt myself being pulled back, into a chest. "Stop," a small voice cooed. "It's me. It's me, Tarryn."

It was familiar. Safe. I looked up - into identical blue eyes that resembled my own.

I stumbled back, sucking in a strained breath. Skyler caught my arm, pulling me back and to his side. "Hey, baby, you okay? You're looking a little pale," someone murmured, but I felt faint, the world spinning around me as I dropped to the floor, a pain shooting through my left arm and chest, straight into my heart.

+++

Everyone is acting odd. Any theories or thoughts? Things will pick up a bit, don't worry 😉

Shoutout to KourtneyB
See,

this is why I don't do a an update schedule. I promised an update yesterday and here it is, a day later haha oops 😬

Who is the person do you think was in Tarryn's flashback? Who was the man?
Thank you so much for reading. Stay safe, lots of love - Charlie 🧡