Breath Three
Inhale, exhale... If only it were that easy
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Katsuki couldn't get Kirishima's voice out of his head. No matter how much music he forced himself to listen to or how hard he tried to distract himself with his treatments or his hobby, playing in the most distant part of his head was Kirishima's singing. In all it's raspiness and imperfectness, Katsuki found himself to like it more than he should. Much more than he should. And he was more than a little disappointed when he said they should meet at the piano again.
During their treatment that morning neither of them spoke to one another. They both sat in their chairs, heavy-lidded and tried from the night before. Or at least Katsuki was tired, he wasn't so sure about Kirishima. He looked... sicker than usual.
Kirishima's treatment ended early and was taken out of the room in a wheelchair. Katsuki was going to ask what was wrong and where they were taking him but he kept quiet for he wasn't entirely sure if it was his business or not. When walking passed Kirishima's room, Katsuki could see him inside, hooked up to an IV drip. He had been sleeping.
A nurse caught him staring and shot Katsuki a smile. "He's got a fever," she told him. "They started him on antibiotics. He'll be okay."
He'll be okay.
Will he really?
While in his room, a nurse showed up with a stack of printer paper she managed to swipe for Katsuki. Grateful, he took it from her and looked up a video on how to make paper cranes. In one try, his piece of folded paper looked pretty close to the one on the screen and from there he continued on, keeping track as his small pile grew. He figured it was okay for him to catch up to Kirishima since the redhead got a head start.
One of them turned out perfect. So perfect that Katsuki felt the need to capture it. He placed it on the windowsill when the sun was high in the sky, creating perfect lighting, and snapped the photo on his phone instead of his camera. He needed to save his film for more important things.
In one of the photo editing apps he gave it a black and white filter but coloured the crane red, a colour that would make it stand out against the dull backdrop. He stared at it for some time, his fingers tracing the red on the screen as he thought about what to do with the photo. Save it, of course, but then what? Would he post it or simply keep it to himself?
Katsuki called for Manaka and asked her to give him the permissions needed to print it out. It didn't take much convincing, just a faint please before she walked off and then walked back with the picture in hand. She had asked why he wanted it printed and he gave a small shrug. "For someone."
With one of the pens he swiped from her when she wasn't looking, he wrote on the back of the photo in bold writing "GET WELL SOON, SHITTY HAIR" and then he signed it with the first letter of his name.
He felt like a child when he snuck out of his room and down the hall towards Kirishima's room. Katsuki felt like a child even more as he slipped the photo underneath the door, like a child passing notes to his friend in class. He stood by the door, listening to Kirishima's feet smacking the floor as he moved around his room. A chuckle could be heard. He liked it.
He liked it.
-
The days that came were slow, almost as if they were in a standstill. Kirishima didn't show up for treatment. So Katsuki was alone like before.
In his room, he stopped working on the paper cranes after a while because he didn't want to get ahead of Kirishima, not while he was sick at least. With that time killer set aside for the time being, he wasn't left with many options to help time go by. He started working out the day after Kirishima got sick, but that only helped so much. Taking photos on his phone became a bore and the air had started to chill, making it harder to breathe outside.
He sat with all the photos he had taken on his camera throughout his years at the hospital spread out on his bed, some overlapping one another so they could all fit. Sticking them to the walls individually would take forever and wouldn't look that nice in the end. He had no poster board to glue them to or he'd do that, though he was pretty sure it would look sloppy too.
A faint knock at the door caught his attention before someone entered without announcing themselves. Manaka had a horrible habit of entering without saying anything but it wasn't her. It was Shitty Hair, a smile plastered to his face and his oxygen tank trailing behind. He looked better than he did several days before: some colour had come back to his skin and he didn't look as exhausted as before.
"Hey," he said, voice raspy like always.
"Uh, hey?" Katsuki said. "Though you were sick, I didn't see you during treatment."
"The fever broke about an hour ago, thank God." He rubbed the back of his neck in a sheepish manner, red creeping onto his cheeks. "Thanks for the photo. So you started the cranes then? You didn't get ahead did you?"
"Mhm... not that I know of. I stopped after like forty or something?" Katsuki gave a small shrug. "You're welcome by the way."
"Can I come in?"
"Might as well."
Kirishima left the door open as he sat down on the end of Katsuki's bed, careful not to mess with the photos. He looked different without his mask, very different. His smile could be seen, bright and vibrant. Katsuki wasn't sure if he had seen Kirishima smile, most of the time it was hidden under a mask but he knew he was doing it because the corner of his eyes wrinkled ever so slightly.
"What're you doing?"
"Figuring out what to do with these," Katsuki replied and motioned to the photos spread out. "I wanna hang 'em, I guess."
"Glue them to string maybe? Hang the string on the wall?"
It wasn't a terrible idea, in fact, it was pretty good. But he didn't have string or glue or the energy to do it himself without it taking forever.
"I don't have string," he mumbled. "Or glue."
"My friends are coming up today, I can have them bring us some. And maybe they can help?" he offered, his smile only growing bigger.
Jesus fuck.
Katsuki said okay and while they waited, Kirishima got some of the paper from his room and together they worked on the paper cranes. They talked about the miscellaneous things that wouldn't mean anything later on and they joked, mainly Kirishima, but it made Katsuki let out rough laughs. Sometimes he'd say something that made Kirishima laugh, which was contagious and would send them both into coughing fits that lasted minutes on end.
Kirishima had to leave for a few hours for his respiratory therapy, giving Katsuki time to get the pouch on his shoulder refiled with epoprostenol. Manaka asked about Kirishima while working, though Katsuki wasn't able to answer well because he was using his ventilator.
"You guys are close, huh?" He'd shrug as a way to say maybe.
"I know you guys sneak out at night. What do you do?"
He pulled the mask off long enough to answer. "He's teaching me to play the piano." And then the mask was back on.
"Aw, cute. Can I assume you guys are friends? I mean, you must be if he convinced you to make the little paper figures huh?" She knew. He wasn't surprised, she must've overheard them talking that one time, or every time maybe.
He shrugged again.
"He's cute, isn't he? Do you like him?"
Katsuki didn't answer. No shrug, no shake or nod of his head. Nothing. Because he didn't know the answer himself. It had only been, what, a week at most and some change since they started talking? Two at most. He hadn't thought on his feelings until that point, he never really considered them. Did he like Shitty Hair? Or was like even the right word? There were other words that could be used to describe that feeling, whatever it was.
"I don't know," he muttered out once the pouch was refilled with his medication, not needing the ventilator anymore. "I've never considered it until now."
"Maybe you should think on it, yeah? You shouldn't be alone."
"We're both dying."
"Everyone's dying, Katsuki."
She left the room after that, lingering in the doorway long enough to shoot Katsuki a soft smile. Manaka just royally mind fucked him. It's crazy how the mention of feelings can do that to him. He's never felt them so how the fuck is supposed to know when he has them?
What's it like to like someone?
Kirishima came back with two people following close behind, a blonde and a girl with pink hair. Her eyes were completely black, something that reminded him of these creatures from an anime he watched several months before. Another one came in, trailing way behind the others in a lethargic state. His under eye bags were almost worse than Katsuki's and his eyes seemed a little red. And then there was the smell. Skunk. This dude was a stoner, no doubt about it.
The redhead introduced them as Kaminari, the blonde one, Mina was the one with the cool eyes, and Sero was the stoner. Kirishima explained to the three his plans for the photos: glue them onto the string, leaving a few inches between each photo, and once all the photos were in place they'd tie the string onto tacks they stuck in the walls.
Sero stuck the thumb tacks into the walls above the hospital bed and began helping the others with the task of glueing and securing the pictures afterwards. It didn't take long, thirty minutes tops, and before they knew it, they were hanging the string on the wall. The room wasn't so bland anymore, though, on the three remaining walls there was definitely more than enough space for several more decorations. Maybe the photos of a few well-known photographers or some of their best works. Or he could be like a normal teenager and hang up some band posters he had stored under the bed.
The five stood against the far wall across from the hospital bed and admired all the photos spread out for anyone coming in to see. It was the first time anyone other than his mom and a few nurses had seen the images he managed to capture around the hospital with the old polaroid. Most of them were of the outside world through his window or of the other patients scattered around the hospital, some doctors and nurses were included. Each and everyone one was raw. No posing. No idea that the photo was even being taken. They were of the people doing the normal things in their day to day life: getting treatment, dishing out the treatment, and even eating in the cafeteria. Katsuki liked it that way.
"Thanks," Katsuki said to them with a small nod.
"Hey man," Kaminari touched his shoulder, feeling the pouch and instantly retracted his hand like he had done something wrong, "Any friend of Kirishima's is a friend of ours. Need anything? Just howler."
Any friend of Kirishima's is a friend of ours.
So they were friends then? Normally, Katsuki would have told them instantly that they were the furthest thing from friends but that would be a lie, right? They talked about things friends would talk about and they tried to do the things friends did, however, they're both pretty inhibited to some extent.
Friends. It's not such a bad word after all...
Mina smiled. "We come by pretty often."
Katsuki blinked, raising a brow and asked the question he had been wondering for a while. "So, what's with the black eyes?"
"Contacts," she beamed. "I do hope to get them tattooed though. That would be sick."
"It would be fucking sick," Katsuki agreed.
Together they all sat in Katsuki's room, him and Kirishima on his bed while the other three found spots around the room. For the most part, it was laid back, quiet even. But every now and again someone would show the group a meme they found on their phone causing everyone to break in fits of laughter. Of course, Kirishima and Katsuki's would start hacking up a lung. Sero was pretty much passed out on the floor at the bottom of the bed and showed no signs of waking despite the occasional loud bursts of laughter that would explode in the room.
For once the blonde felt normal. He had long since forgotten that he was capable of doing normal things with normal people and he'd be willing to bet that if he asked to leave the hospital for a few hours to go hang out with them, they'd let him.
Those four (mainly Kirishima but Katsuki would never even think of admitting that to himself) were a reason for him to keep going with his treatments because up until that point he was one word away from giving up. He could rely on them more than his own mother, he wasn't going to be alone anymore when she was going through her depressive episodes. They'd be around if things were to go bad.
But there was a negative with having friends: they were the ones who would watch him die. They would be the ones to watch him and Kirishima both fall into their inevitable fates. Maybe they were prepared, they had to be if they were friends with Kirishima. He was dying just like Katsuki, just as fast as Katsuki. Losing two friends so early? Obviously, they stuck around for a reason.
Kirishima, despite being so sick and drained ninety percent of the time, brought a sort of light to their lives they had never seen before. Katsuki knew this because he saw that light for himself.
They probably wanted Kirishima to get a new set of lungs just as much as he did, maybe even more, because it would buy them more time with him. A few more years that they could turn into a lifetime for him. Would they want the same thing for Katsuki, for him to get a new pair of lungs or a new heart, whichever began to take a bigger shit first since both sucked anyway. It was too early to tell for that was the first time they ever hung out together.
He wouldn't hold his breath or hope for it, but the thought was a nice one.
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The two boys fell into a daily routine. Treatment together, working on the paper cranes in one of their rooms, walks around the garden, and during the nights they didn't escape to the lobby to play the piano, they snuck up to the roof of the hospital and star gazed. They were practically joined at the hip.
Stargazing wasn't the most entertaining thing in the room due to the fact that the hospital was nuzzled in a large city and the city lights polluted the sky, obstructing their view of what be a beautiful sight of the night sky. If they weren't stuck in the city the view would be phenomenal.
One day, Kirishima had told Katsuki, we'll go somewhere far away to see the stars. Just you and me. Because Katsuki had told Kirishima he wished to see a clear, light pollution-free view of the stars before his disease got the better of him, the redhead had made it part of his life goal to see to it that Katsuki saw the stars.
Together they had been trying to get permission to leave the hospital since both of them were started to get wrestles with being inside for so long, but because Kirishima had caught a fever they were a little worried about letting him out into the world despite getting rid of it almost right away. It's too soon, dude. Maybe in a few days.
Katsuki got used to hanging out with Kirishima's friends and Kirishima was able to meet Katsuki's mom, Mitsuki, once. When they met she seemed... wild and restless. She wanted to go go go and it tired both of the boys out. It wasn't until later, after she left, that Katsuki was able to explain that she was bipolar and had been off her medications since the disappearance of his dad not long after his diagnosis.
My mom said men can't handle tragedy, Katsuki told Kirishima, but I'm beginning to wonder if she can't handle it either.
I think parents can't handle tragedy, Katsuki, Kirishima said. Especially when they only have one kid. Losing that child would like... be the end of their world.
Being able to talk to each other able personal things in their lives deepened their relationship. Katsuki was the first one to ever hear about Kirishima's mental health issues aside from his therapist and the blonde had told him that he was willing to listen, but because he wasn't a professional he wouldn't be able to help him to the extent a therapist would. He managed to talk Kirishima into seeing his therapist at least once a week.
It was terrifying man... feeling that way, thinking things like that. There was one time when I did act on my thoughts and feelings. I was in a hospital and used an IV to..., he trailed off, not wanting to complete the story due to how traumatizing it was. I've never seen my mom so worried before. I think that was the first time I was ever able to see right through her.
My mom would have smacked me upside the head, the blonde said. I can relate, though I don't think I feel what you feel. The sadness, at least. I'm angry... internally and sometimes, well most the time, I lose my shit.
Maybe deep down your anger is sadness. You're angry because you're sad.
The weeks went by and Katsuki had yet to hear Kirishima sing that other song he mentioned, almost as if he were putting it off. On the nights they went down to the lobby, Kirishima seemling avoided singing it and actively tried to keep Katsuki busy with pieces for beginners. He shied away whenever Katsuki brought it up, turning his head with a slight blush creeping up from under the black mask.
He never pried though, there was no point because forcing the redhead could cause him to screw up from nervousness or he wouldn't play to best of his ability. Katsuki didn't want to jeopardize his... friend's playing. He'd have to wait and hopefully, eventually, Kirishima would give him on his own accord.
Friend... neither of the boys were sure of that word and what it meant. Were they friends or something more? Were they catching onto each other's feelings before the other even realized them themselves? Feelings in their word, in a world where forever doesn't exist, was terrifying because of what their futures held. Lung could show up when it was too late and drugs working wasn't a guarantee. But neither of them wanted to be alone.
A chance... perhaps taking a chance on each other could give them them the courage to push away their fears, to simply keep going. Not for themselves but also for each other.
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"Aww! Dude, c'mon! I've been stuck in place for weeks and the thought of flinging myself out the window is starting to look like a good idea," Kirishima said in a pleading voice. It was the fifth day in a row he's bugged Dr. Saiko about giving him permission to leave the hospital and it was the fifth day in a row he got shot down. Katsuki had already given up on asking permission from his doctor because if he were to keep asking he'd "knock the assholes teeth out" and he really didn't need a criminal record.
"Kirishima, we don't want the fever to come back-"
"It's been gone for a week, man! You're being a wet blanket."
"-plus you go onto the roof, I know you do, and you walk around the courtyard."
"Yeah but the courtyard is so small and confined and I think I feel claustrophobic there. I want to be able to hang out with my friends outside this place. It's just for a few hours. We'll grab lunch, see a movie, maybe do some sight-seeing because I've yet to see this place in full. Once a week for a few hours won't kill me, dude."
Dr. Saiko rubbed his tired eyes, heaving a sigh from his chest. Kirishima could see the older man's brain working quickly behind his eyes, working and thinking about all the things that could go wrong if Kirishima left the hospital without a nurse breathing down his neck. But anything that could happen out there could easily happen at the hospital. Besides, it's not like he'd go out alone. Kaminari and Mina and maybe Sero would be there with him, and Katsuki of course, even if he couldn't go out they'd break him out.
"Alright... fine." Dr. Saiko mumbled. "Don't make me regret this." That sounded like a threat.
Kirishima threw his fist into the air, smiling brightly. "Hell man! I knew you wouldn't let me down," he smiled at his doctor who still had a look of worry on his features.
Kirishima rushed out from behind the nurses' station and as he turned the corner to head down the hallway towards Katsuki's room, he dialled Kaminari's number and said, "Bro, I'll be ready in twenty minutes. Be here."
"You got the okay to come chill? Hell yeah dude," Kaminari excitedly replied.
They hung up just as Kirishima walked into Katsuki's room, where the blonde worked on his paper cranes. He had around two-hundred fifty done and Kirishima had a little over two hundred done. Even with his headstart, he was losing. How bogus was that?
Over the weeks the blondes room had become a little more roomy and a little less like a place where a lot of tragedies happened. Various posters hung on the walls and Kirishima even talked Katsuki into trading out the hospital blankets for something a little more personalized. He was a little surprised to see that the blonde ordered a blanket based around space. Nevertheless, it was still cool as shit.
"What do you want, Hair for Brains?" Katsuki asked, folding the final crease on one of the cranes. He looked a little annoyed with the sudden disturbance but Kirishima didn't care because it was important.
"You have twenty minutes to look presentable, we're going out today." He smiled proudly.
"I wasn't given permission to go out."
"Well, I was. Don't worry, we'll leave a little note and stuff so the nurses don't lose their minds when they see you gone," Kirishima told him and walked out before Katsuki could protest. He was riding an emotional high and he loved it so much. When was the last time he was that happy?
In his own room, Kirishima picked up clean close and changed into them: a simple red t-shirt and a pair of jeans he hardly ever wore. Atop his redhead sat a grey beanie. To be extra safe, he sprayed a little more cologne than what was needed because he didn't take a shower and knew he smelled a little.
In the mirror that hung on the bathroom door, he stared at himself. He still looked sick, the bags under his eyes and pale colour of his skin and the tubes running out of his nose spoke for him, but he didn't feel sick. A little out of breath from all the intense walking, sure, but sick? Nowhere close. He felt good. He pulled on his thick hoodie and went to Katsukis room.
Twenty minutes passed and Kirishima and Katsuki stood outside the lobby of the hospital with backpacks full of extra layers and some of their oral medications that they still took, no one suspecting a thing. Kirishima was giddy, constantly moving around to keep himself from losing his sanity to the happiness he was feeling. The cold, the air whipping past his head, and the sound of the city bustling around him was refreshing. The air on the roof and the air in the courtyard were different compared to the air down there. It was freedom, that was the difference. Freedom and independence.
He also kept moving to avoid getting cold as well as to keep himself from staring at Katsuki for too long. The blonde had dressed in a dark orange hoodie with a big white skull on it and a pair of black jeans with a hole in each knee. Kirishima hadn't seen him in normal clothes, just sweatpants, baggy t-shirts, and the occasional hospital gown, until that point and he looked... hot. Kirishima bushed at himself for thinking like that but he couldn't help it.
The more they hung out the more he noticed. He noticed how Kazuki's brows knitted together when he focused on making the cranes look perfect and he noticed how sometimes Katsuki would stare at him with those eyes of his and turn away when Kirishima caught him looking, his ears tainting a light pink. He noticed how Katsuki stared intently when Kirishima would play the piano for him. Kirishima noticed how badly Katsuki wanted to be good at playing and he was getting there, slowly and with time. He noticed the dimple the blonde would get when he cracked as small as a grin, a rare occurrence, and he noticed how he always smelled like spearmint. Kirishima noticed him and he wanted so badly for Katsuki to notice him, too.
He shook his head, the warmth of his cheeks spreading to his body just as Kaminari pulled up in his dark red Chrysler 200. Mina rolled down her window, a smile on her face, and told the two boys to climb into the back. Kirishima opened his door and shoved his O2 first and then climbed in, Katsuki following him before shutting the door.
Inside the car was surprisingly clean and it actually smelled good, like lemon. The interior of the car was black, everything from the dashboard to floor mats but the seat coverings on the front two sweats were yellow and the covering on the steering wheel was yellow. Classic Kaminari.
Kaminari turned down the radio and turned to smile at the two. "How about a movie and then a late lunch? Maybe, if we have time, we can do a little sightseeing." Kirishima didn't know about the sightseeing because it was around the holidays and the city was packed with tourists. He heard about the giant Christmas tree near the centre of the city was something no one wanted to miss, but they had to be back five and the sun didn't set until a little after six. It was only worth seeing at night because that's when all the lights are lit. Another time.
"Oh by the way," Kaminari started and turned around, tossing something to Katsuki, before he sped away from the hospital, "film for your camera, dude."
Katsuki turned the packaging around in his hand before tearing it open. "Oh, right, uh, thanks?" he mumbled in response and put the film in his camera, which he pulled out of his bag.
"You have to take some pictures today, okay?" Mina said from the front seat and clapped happily when Katsuki gave a nod.
The movie Kaminari and Mina took them to was some cheesy romance none of them could take seriously. The cringe was so bad it physically hurt all of them and most the parts they laughed at were out of pity. How the movie made it into the theatres was beyond them.
Because it was bad, Kaminari offered to pay for tickets for another movie and their snacks, too. Kirishima and Katsuki agreed on a movie together, which Kirishima thought Katsuki was going to be an extremely picky and his efforts to try to agree on something with him would be fruitless but it wasn't. They chose How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World and when Kirishima mentioned it, he was so certain that Katsuki was going to say it was dumb and childish and that Kirishima needed to pick something else. He didn't. He shrugged and told them he liked the first time movies.
It lived up to their expectations. It was an emotional rollercoaster and by the end of the movie, Kirishima, Mina, and Kaminari were all crying. And some other people who were in the theatre were crying too, so they didn't feel bad. When Kirishima looked at Katsuki from the corner of his eye, the blonde wasn't crying but his expression seemed to soften. His brows weren't furrowed and his lips weren't pursed. He seemed so relaxed and Kirishima liked that.
Lunch was more of a struggle than the movie. Kaminari and Mina wanted to go to some fast food place but Kirishima and Katsuki wanted something more healthy and a little more real, mainly because both of them hadn't had something like that in an extended period of time. Kirishima argued that the grease from places like that wasn't healthy for either of them, which he wasn't entirely sure on but it sounded right in his head.
They found a corner cafe not terribly far from the movie theatre called Carrie's Corner. At first, Mina and Kaminari were against it until they found the place sold homemade double fudge brownies coated in a layer of powdered sugar and milkshakes flavoured with anything their hearts could desire.
"How have their teeth not fallen out from sugar rot yet?" Katsuki asked as they stepped into the place, the variant smells wafting into their noses as the heat of the place instantly warmed up their cheeks.
"I dunno man, I wonder that too," Kirishima replied with a slight shrug.
The place was small and decorated in a more modern and sleek way. Windows lined the entire front of the building and the walls were painted a light grey but textured to make it look like stone. The chairs weren't like the standard chair you'd see in most places, hard and rather uncomfortable, instead, they were almost like a two-person sofa you'd find in someone's home. Each chair had a sea-green pillow to accent the grey and the tables were a light brown to add a little more to place. At the back of the cafe, pressed up against the wall, was a long couch the same colour as the sea-green pillows. The tables meant for larger groups of people were round, a dark grey, and didn't have the sofas but had plush, black one-person chairs as a substitute that looked just as comfy as the sofas. Plants were littered around the place as well as different types of tiny, modern wooden sculptures. Near the front of pace sat a breakfast counter with plush barstools. It was cute.
"Welcome!" the lady at the front said with a large smile and a spark behind her eyes. "What can I get you?"
Mina ordered one of the double fudge brownies, a big salad with bacon in it, and a large chocolate milkshake to go with. Kaminari also got a brownie and a sandwich on a bistro bun. Katsuki and Kirishima both ordered the chicken and dumpling soup.
After they ordered, Kirishima went to find them a table whilst the others waited at the counter. He chose a table tucked in the back near the wall length couch. Along the way, he could feel the people who occupied staring not at him but his illness and the things that came with it. They were staring at the gloves and mask he put on to wipe down the table to ensure that it was indeed clean. They stared at the nasal cannula and the oxygen tank he drug behind him as he walked. His undereye circles, the paleness to his skin, his coughs and the times we struggled to catch his breath afterwards. Kirishima could feel their looks of pity and he could hear their whispers. They could see all of that, all of the stuff that didn't define him.
It hurt. He could only imagine what they were saying and thinking and it hurt.
The others sat down with him once they got their food. Kirishima slowly slipped his gloves and mask off so he could eat. Katsuki must've noticed what was wrong because he leaned towards Kirishima and whispered so the other two couldn't hear. Close. Too close. But he didn't mind.
"You noticed too, then, right?" he questioned.
"Noticed what?"
"Their looks. The whispers."
"Well... yeah, I guess so."
Katsuki shook his head. "You let it bother you. Don't."
Kirishima had to snort. That was rich coming from Katsuki, the guy who let the smallest of shit get under his skin. "You let it bother you too."
"Yeah, but they can't know that. They think they're being kind with those looks and their words of pity but what they don't know is that it reminds of what we have. Their ignorance pisses me the fuck off and I wish I could do somethin' about it but we can't educate everyone who gives us looks or whatever."
"Okay okay, you guys have to stop flirting with each other right in front of my salad," Mina interrupted as a look of fake disgust glazed over her features. "Go get a room."
Katsuki was glaring daggers at her. The sudden realization of how close they were and how it might've looked to them, Katsuki being so close to Kirishima while whispering, caused heat to rush to Kirishima's face.
Kirishima separated himself from Katsuki and dug around in his bad for the baggy holding the pill he needed to take to help his body digest the food he was about to consume. He took the pill with the small class of water Katsuki brought him and began to dig into his food as a distraction from the events that just occurred.
Mina changed the topic to something a little less embarrassing and from there the conversation kept changing. But the second Katsuki left to use the restroom, the conversation was back on Kirishima and Katsuki.
"Okay, but why don't you just kiss him already?" Mina asked bluntly. "Watching you two is so aggravating."
"Yeah man, she's got a point. You want him," Kaminari added.
"No, I don't." His friends gave him the same look. Fuck. "I just wanna like... nevermind we aren't talking about this. No thanks."
"Dude, stop denying it," Kaminari said.
"I'm not denying anything, bro. He's my friend."
"'Friend'," Mina said, creating air quotations. "You're friends until you're not, Kirishima. You're happy, this is the happiest we've seen you in so long. Everything changed when you started hanging with him. He's making you happy. Let him."
"I-"
Kirishima was cut off when Katsuki came back, falling into his seat next to the redhead. "What're you losers talking about?"
"Hey now, we aren't losers," Kaminari whined.
"You, who else?" Mina stated flatly.
Katsuki's eye twitched. "What about me?"
"Nothing!" Kirishima jumped in and looked at Mina with a pleading look.
"Don't lie to me, Dumb Hair."
"My hair isn't that different from yours!"
"We were talking about how angry you get for no reason," Kaminari said. "No one will ever like you if you keep up with that."
Katsuki was resisting the urge to yell, to inflict any sort of violence, Kirishima could tell because the blonde's eye twitched and he was grinding his back teeth. On his forehead, a vein was visible, the little vein that signalled his frustration.
"Maybe we should head back to the hospital? It's been a while," Kirishima said, earning him a side glance from Katsuki before he nodded in agreement.
Kirishima breathed a sigh of relief. They paid and then Kaminari drove them back to the hospital, the car completely silent aside from the heater working to keep the car warm. It was heavy, uncomfortable, and almost made Kirishima feel like he was suffocating.
His friend's words played in the back of his mind the whole ride. You're friends until you're not, Kirishima. What was that supposed to mean? Was she trying to tell him that if he didn't do something they wouldn't be friends anymore? Or was she saying that...
He shook his head and got out of the car when Kaminari pulled up to the curb.
"Hey man," Kirishima leaned over Mina's lap to talk out the window, "The Christmas tree. We gotta see it. Do you think you can get permission to go see it sometime next week?"
"I don't think Dr. Saiko wants me out at night... he hardly wants me out at all," Kirishima responded.
"Then we'll break you out," Kaminari said with a smile. "Only for a few hours and then we'll bring you right back."
Kirishima smiled at him and gave his friend a thumbs up before watching him peel away from the curb. He turned to say something to Katsuki but the blonde had already moved to go inside. Is that what Mina meant? You're friends until you're not, Kirishima.
Her words... they were starting to scare him.
-
The week to come was terrible. Kirishima and Katsuki barely spoke after the events that took place at the cafe. Katsuki was fine, he knew this because they saw each other during their treatment sessions so what was the issue? He was fine until he came back from the bathroom in the cafe...
He had heard Katsuki fighting with his doctor that night after they got back to the hospital. She was angry that he left without letting her know what that the note he left wasn't enough. He called her an old hag but then things started to die after a while.
"Something could have happened to you."
"Don't worry, I won't be leaving again."
Ever since Kirishima didn't have the mental energy to do anything. He struggled to make it to his treatments and the therapy sessions weren't doing much to help him. He couldn't even work on the paper cranes; he did manage to get a few done before he gave up.
You're friends until you're not, Kirishima. Is this what she meant? Did Katsuki not like him anymore? Kirishima didn't even know what had happened between them. It was so sudden and so swift he couldn't even comprehend it. What was he supposed to think?
Dr. Saiko came in and stared at Kirishima as he laid on his bed, unmoving. He knew something was up because normally Kirishima was so chipper and full of life.
"What happened to you? Since your little trip you've been down and I'm starting to worry," he told Kirishima.
"I don't wanna talk about it, man."
"Too bad. You're going to."
Kirishima sat up and looked his doctor straight in the eye. "I miss him."
"Him?"
"Katsuki. I miss him."
"Weren't you two friends?'
"We were until we weren't." Kirishima sighed. "I don't know what that means or what happened. We were fine and then we weren't and he hasn't talked to me since. I don't know what I did and it's fucking all I can think about."
"Do you like him?"
Kirishima shrugged.
"There's your issue. Figure out if you like him or not then go from there. When did things seem to go downhill?"
"After he came back from the bathroom and we were talking about him, like him and me, and then he came back and we asked about it. Mina said we were talking about him. Kaminari said we were talking about him and his anger issues and how no one will like him if he keeps up with..." Kirishima trailed off.
Oh. Oh.
Dr. Saiko realized, too. "You see?"
Kirishima nodded, blinking rapidly as everything began to sink into his head.
"Thanks, man."
"For what?"
"Everything," Kirishima breathed out.
Dr. Saiko smiled and gave a nod. "Make it right, Kirishima."
And he would.
And he did.
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Word Count: 6822
June 30, 2019
took me two whole ass months to get this edited 😥 my bad lmao. i hope it wasn't shit
-StarsNeverLanding
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