"I guess the secret is out."

Kimiko broke the long silence. It turned out that she and Ryuhei also waited for me. We lived in neighboring communities, so they often offered me a ride home in their family van. Invites that I had politely and successfully declined now became a welcome relief. Rumor mills be damned. Yes, plural.

According to the rumor mill in school, Ryuhei and I looked "cozy" on the bleachers while waiting for our turns in gym class. This was highly unlikely considering that our sport for the semester was basketball. If we had lingered on the bleachers instead of being on the court, Coach Garcia would have surely reprimanded us. Plus, the only time we spent on the bleachers was during our free period. Even then, we made it a point to sit at least two levels apart, each engrossed in our own book. If that scenario could be called cozy, then I would argue that anything could be considered cozy.

I'm not going to repeat whatever the rumor mill in my village said the one time I caught a ride home with Kimiko, and Ryuhei also happened to be in the van. The village aunties gossip at the speed of light, and if you have ever played the telephone game, then you know just how far from the truth they are. I never wanted to subject myself to this again, but there I was, opting for the known awful consequences rather than going home alone. Talk about a bad day, right?

Little did I know it would take a turn for the worse. I had hoped for someone to break the ice, but I never expected Kimiko to bring up that particular topic. Now I almost wish we could return to the awkward silence.

"What secret?" Ryuhei asked.

"I thought you and Kaisa were pretending like you don't know each other," Kimiko replied nonchalantly, as if everyone, including Liam, knew of this fact.

"Impossible. We're classmates."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me. I'm the one who's been saying that all along. I don't understand why you two feel the need to avoid each other in school. You don't do that on the weekends."

I stilled. Not because I was worried that Liam wouldn't keep our secret, but because now he knows that we have a secret in the first place. And a seemingly trivial one at that. I feared that he wouldn't understand the weight that it carried in the Adamson household and that would ruin our chances even before we've had the chance to get to know each other.

"We avoid each other during the weekends as well," I said after a while. "You know how strict my mom is," I said.

"Do we know?" Ryuhei asked abruptly with a challenge in his voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You told us that your mom is strict. You're not allowed to have a boyfriend until after you've graduated from college, and have worked full-time for at least two years. Isn't that right? But then she transferred you to a co-ed school for your senior year of high school as if dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit. Are you sure that you're still not allowed to talk to boys? What if I need to borrow a pen during class? Are you supposed to play deaf? If one of the teachers asks you to tell me something, will you tell them that you're not allowed to do so?"

"I don't think it's to that extent."

"That's what I'm saying. We don't know how strict your mom is."

"Does that mean that we'll get you in trouble by taking you home right now?" Liam asked.

"Um, well, no, because she knows this is Kimiko's van. I won't get in trouble as long as she doesn't see you."

"But won't you need help to get to your house? Your injuries—"

"If your mom is so strict," Ryuhei interrupted, "that we can't let her know that we've become friends, then how come she allowed you to go to the St. Francis school fair? That's an exclusive school for boys. What, did you hide in a corner somewhere the entire time? How come we can't talk to you for longer than two minutes after Sunday service, but you can go to Spencer's house and learn to play drums from him?"

I whipped my head toward Kimiko at lightning speed at the mention of Spencer.

"Why are you looking at Kimiko? Are we not supposed to know that?"

I gradually turned in the direction of the third row. But even if I hadn't, I could sense Ryuhei's growing irritation.

"Ryuhei, calm down. I don't care how close you two are," Liam said carefully. "You shouldn't talk to Kaisa in that manner."

"Stay out of this," Ryuhei snapped.

It was out of character for him to snap like that, especially considering he had never complained about any of this before. He always made sure to follow my mom's strict rules and help me maintain appearances. It's been a couple of years, so I'm left wondering what has happened to cause this sudden change in behavior.

"I can't tell you why she allowed me to go to the fair. But Spencer is the son of her best friend from college. You know how she's more lenient with friends of the family. My mom and I visited their house together and while the adults talked, Spencer showed me around his music studio. Mia, his sister, was also there."

"Just lenient? Isn't she setting you up with Spencer? Because that's what it seems like."

I sighed, feeling the weight of the day on my shoulders get heavier, and twisted my body to sit properly in my seat. As I gazed out the window, we fell silent again. Soon, we approached the entrance to my community, signaling that I would be home in less than five minutes. That wasn't enough time to delve into the topic at hand or confront Ryuhei's vexing attitude.

"Sera better not try anything funny tomorrow," Ryuhei grumbled. "I won't let her or any of her friends near you again."

"You won't let Sera be near me again?"

Ryuhei grunted in response and the realization struck me like a bolt of lightning. His odd behavior suddenly made sense. Unconsciously, I let out a soft chuckle, which earned me a puzzled look from Kimiko. It always amazed me how she struggled to differentiate between her cousins. Raeden, with his passionate approach to everything, was unmistakable to me.

Unbeknownst to him, Sera and I had been cast together in a one-act play. He had no idea that nothing could keep us apart, at least not until after the competition. But if Raeden was here in Ryuhei's uniform, then where was Ryuhei?

Just as this thought crossed my mind, we arrived at my house, and there he was—Ryuhei, standing outside the gate to my house and engaged in conversation with someone.

"Do you live next to one of our classmates?" Liam asked.

"No one else lives near us from what I know," Kimiko answered as I tried to determine who Ryuhei was speaking with.

"Someone wearing our uniform is outside that gate."

"That's Kaisa's gate. Is that...Ryuhei?"

"If that's Ryuhei, then who's this?"

"Raeden! Ugh, I should've known. Liam, this is Ryuhei's twin. He's obviously not as nice."

"Uh, nice to meet you." Liam extended his hand for a shake.

"Are you getting down?" Raeden ignored Liam. "Your mom is already looking at us."

"You know, Liam was the one who found me first," I said. No matter how indelicate he sounded, I'm aware that he genuinely cares for me. And because he can't care for me in person, I knew he'd be thankful to Liam for doing so in his stead.

Raeden let out a deep sigh and then turned to Liam. In a much more friendly tone, he said, "Nice to meet you too. Thank you for helping Kaisa out. Please, excuse my behavior." Then, reverting back to his original tone, he continued, "I've been urging her to be honest with her mom for a long time. Since you insisted on taking her home with us, even though you live in the opposite direction, I imagine you'll soon understand my frustration. So, Kai, are you getting down, or what?"

"Did Ryu tell you what he was going to say to her?"

"No. But he can talk to her, right? After all, he's a classmate in the same school who witnessed what happened. He's allowed to be concerned. It's just me who's problematic now, right? I'm your dirty little secret."

"Raeden, really." Kimiko shook her head at him.

"Will it help matters if your mom knew that I have a girlfriend?"

"You have a girlfriend?" Liam's volume matched the amount of his disbelief.

"You don't have to sound so surprised, Liam. Not everyone has requirements similar to full-time job postings. You can have a girlfriend too if you're not into Kaisa."

"I-I'm not ready for a relationship," Liam stammered. "I'm still young."

"I didn't know relationships had an age requirement."

"Really, cousin? Does that mean I can have a boyfriend?" Kimiko teased.

"Hey, if you can find a boy who can pass our test, be my guest."

"Kais, Ryuhei's coming. Should I go and greet Auntie?"

I didn't respond. I couldn't. My mind was a whirlwind of anxiety, racing with thoughts of all the potential reprimands I'd face. My mom opened the gate wider to peek at Kimiko's van. I had never been so thankful for tint in my entire life.

Ryuhei walked in our direction, opened the door, and greeted me softly, "Hi."

"Hello."

"I'm sorry."

I didn't have to ask him what for. I knew he was apologizing for speaking to my mom without letting me know first. I also knew that it was most likely Raeden's idea and that Ryuhei only consented to it so that his twin wouldn't do it himself.

"Don't be."

"She asked me to come in." He paused and looked beyond me for the first time. "Both of you should go home first. Rae, can you...Liam? What are you doing here?"

"I offered to take Kaisa home."

"Ah, well, they can take you home first."

"Shouldn't I go in with you two?"

"I think me being here is already—"

"Enough? I saw more than you. I can help explain—"

"No, it's already too much. Kai already has to explain about me. Let's not add you to the list. Not today. She needs rest after they talk."

Hearing those words from Ryuhei, I couldn't help but wonder why I hadn't realized sooner that Raeden had replaced him. Ryuhei seemed to possess a supernatural ability to understand my thoughts—as if he didn't even need to read my mind. His reaction to the situation was markedly different from Raeden's. When he offered me his hand as I stepped out of the van, I accepted it. However, he retracted it swiftly, almost instinctually, as if he knew to do so, even when my mom was not looking.

I discreetly looked at Liam, who, despite his initial reluctance, agreed to stay behind. The look in his eyes seemed to convey a silent promise that he would be there for me. It gave me the courage to walk alongside Ryuhei towards my house.

"Please come in," my mom said in a perfectly steady voice. Despite her composed tone, I knew better than to judge her emotions without seeing her face. I avoided looking at her until we reached the living room. With Ryuhei and I taking our seats at opposite ends of the couch, my mom settled into her chair. Surprisingly, she didn't seem as angry as I had anticipated. "Ryuhei mentioned that there was an incident at school. Can you tell me what happened?

"Mom, you know Ryuhei—"

"I do," she acknowledged it before I could say anything else. "You were classmates in kindergarten and you're classmates now too. How come you didn't mention that to me?"

I was thinking about what a good response could be when she looked pointedly at Ryuhei and said, "She's not allowed to have a boyfriend until she graduates college."

"We're just friends, Auntie," Ryuhei reassured her.

"Then why do both of you look like you were caught with your hands down the cookie jar?"

"Um, Auntie, I heard that Kaisa's not allowed to have platonic boyfriends either. But since meeting each other again in church, we've developed a friendship. I—we—were hoping that we could continue to be friends. With your permission."

"I appreciate you asking, Ryuhei. You have to understand; she's my only daughter so I have these rules to keep her safe. But yes, you can be friends. Because you asked. And because, from what I heard about you, you're a good kid. Your aunt is one of my friends from church. Did you know?"

"Yes, Auntie. My parents also attend the same church, Auntie. They travel for business often, but they'll be there this Sunday. Could I introduce you?"

"Sure, sure. Is that what you two look so worried about?"

"Yes, Auntie."

"Kaisa, you haven't said anything."

"I'm nervous," I said. "This is the first time I'm introducing a boy to you instead of the other way around."

"Ah, so Spencer?" Ryuhei asked with a small laugh.

"Do you know Spencer too?" my mom asked.

"We've spoken to each other at church, but we haven't hung out. A few Saturdays ago, he talked to Kaisa after the youth group meeting and it was weird," he laughed awkwardly. "Since, you know, she doesn't really talk to any boys. Raeden, my twin, asked Kaisa why she was okay being friends with him, but not us."

"Hmm, so you're friends with Raeden too?" My mom raised her eyebrows at me.

"A-auntie, I meant—"

"Yes, mom," I answered decisively. "We hang out after the youth group meeting. Kimiko, the twins, and me."

"That's an even number."

"But Kimiko is our cousin," Ryuhei said hurriedly. "We follow the odd number rule when we invite other youth group members, Auntie."

"You know my odd number rule?"

"Um, yes, I learned from Kaisa. In case she hangs out with a co-ed group, there shouldn't be an even number of boys and girls."

"Yes. Well, just because she's your cousin doesn't mean that you're exempt from the odd number rule. Kaisa should know that."

"And on that note," I interrupted a bit loudly. "Thank you for coming, Ryu. I think my mom and I need to speak alone now."

"I'll keep it in mind for next time, Auntie," he said as I urged him through the door and to the gate. "You'll tell me what that was about later? I'll call. I can call now, right?"

"No."

"Tomorrow then?"

"Never, Ryu. We won't talk about this ever. Thank you again for coming here and introducing yourself."

He stooped down, locked eyes with me, and uttered with a smile, "I should have taken care of it a long time ago."

"I think it just happened the way it was supposed to."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"That's great then. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Rest well."

"See you tomorrow."

I might have held the gate open longer than I should've. Ryuhei might have anticipated it because he turned around and walked backward while looking at me. In the middle of the street, before he continued on his way home, he flashed me a reassuring smile as he motioned for me to go in as if to say that everything would be alright. And I wanted to believe him. But I knew my mom too well. This day wasn't going to end smoothly.

As I waved at Ryuhei and started walking in, I thought I saw Liam out of the corner of my eye. He was a few houses down, near where Ryuhei was standing, but he vanished before I could get a better look. I shook off the notion that he was there—it must have been my mind playing tricks on me.

Perhaps I've become so accustomed to a certain feeling that I experience whenever he glances in my direction, that I sometimes find myself imagining his gaze on me even when he's not actually looking. It's as if his gaze lingers long after he's looked away and his absence feels like a mere illusion.