35| Scared
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Scared
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Chapter 35: Scared (Vanessa's POV)
I sat on the sunlounger, watching as a group of college students walked past us, heading to the exit of the beach and leaving just as the sun started setting.
"Van."
I turned to Daisy and Jade. "Yeah?"
"What's going on with you and Aaron?"
"What do you mean?"
"You two seemed cozier this morning, that's all," Daisy shrugged.
"Yeah. You both either had sex for the first time last night, which I don't know if I believe, or you both dropped the L-word," Jade shrugged, taking her bucket hat off and spinning it around her hand.
"What?" I laughed.
"She's right," Daisy agreed. "You have that afterglow. Which one was it?" she grinned, lifting her brows at me.
"How would you say Aaron's performance was?" Jade teased.
"You guys are out of your mind," I laughed, pushing my sunglasses up to my head. "I mean, come on. How old are we? Cut it out, guys. Aaron and me..."
"Are in love," Jade said bluntly.
"Jade—"
"Get over it, Vanessa. How long are you going to lie to yourself and play it off?"
"We're not that serious," I persisted. I didn't want to admit that I fell in love with Aaron Sinclair. I didn't want to admit that I might have been in love with him all along. All along like since college all along.
"How come you two never liked each other in college?" Daisy asked. "You two are perfect together, I mean, how different could it have been in college?"
I blinked, staring at the waves and setting sun. "Not that different, actually," I mumbled, mostly to myself. "We argued, all the same, we competed for everything, we pretended to hate each other when we actually..." I chuckled softly, looking over at where Aaron and the rest of the office guys were all playing soccer with a volleyball. "Well, we actually really liked each other, we just never let the other person find out."
"Incoming," Daisy said, glancing to my right.
I looked up and saw Ms. Harmony walking over. "Hi, girls," she smiled. "Do you mind if I steal Vanessa for a moment?"
"Of course not," Daisy beamed up at her.
I stood up and walked with her. She was heading towards the shore, so I figured we'd be walking along it.
"I wanted to catch you alone today. We're all heading back tomorrow and I'm sure you won't have time to come chat with me tonight," she chuckled.
"No, of course not. I'd come chat with you any time you asked, Ms. Harmony," I laughed softly.
"Please, call me Harmony."
I nodded softly while smiling. "Harmony," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up. I felt like a little girl meeting her favorite pop star.
"I don't know when I'll get to meet you or Aaron next, I'm heading straight to Milan from here."
"Oh, I see."
"So, I wanted to get in as much as possible. Sorry if I seem a little forward with my questions."
"It's completely understandable. I mean, you're his mom, so..."
She gave me another smile. "Are your parents still together, Vanessa?"
"Uh, yeah. They have been since college."
"Hmm, you're lucky. Aaron wasn't lucky in that way. Logan and I separated when he was really young, around six, if I remember right. Even before that, he only ever saw us arguing. I don't know how much he's told you but you two seemed closer today than you did yesterday. And I hope you'll seem closer tomorrow than you do today. But as his girlfriend, I think you should know these things about him, even if he's not the one to tell you."
I nodded, listening intently.
"Aaron hasn't seen a lot of people love around him. He used to say he'd never believe in love after seeing what happened between his father and I. He says he doesn't believe in um... Quel est le mot?" she mumbled the last bit to herself.
I guessed she was asking herself the translation in English. "Always," I prompted.
"Ah, yes."
I hummed, nodding again. "Yeah, he told me. He doesn't believe in always. He thinks 'always' never lasts."
"And what do you think, chérie?"
"I don't believe in never," I chuckled.
She laughed softly, "I like that answer. And I like you, Vanessa. Really, I do. In my eyes, you're perfect for my son, as perfect as any girl can ever be. You know why?"
I raised my brows when she looked at me. "Why?"
"Because when I see the way you look at him, I don't just see love in your eyes. I see admiration, adoration. A little bit of anger," she teased. "I think you'll always listen to him. But you would also know how to make him listen to you."
I laughed, feeling heat crawl up my neck and to my cheeks.
"You get angry with him, no?"
"I do sometimes. I love your son but sometimes he can be very annoying," I shook my head, grinning.
She stopped walking abruptly. "You do?" She touched my arm lightly.
"Sorry?"
"You love him? You do, don't you?"
I opened my mouth to initially say no and that wasn't what I meant but I couldn't force out the words.
Because I do. I do love him.
So, I found myself nodding slowly but with uncertainty. "I do love him."
"Have you told him?"
"Um, no, I—"
"Don't. He should say it first," she huffed and we resumed walking. "I told him last night. I told him how obvious it was to me that he loved you. He denied it, but Dieu," she huffed.
I think that means 'God'
"It's so obvious to all those around you, chérie," she laughed. "You both are so in love."
Oh God, this is a lot of love talk.
"It's just scary," I rushed out.
She paused, listening to me now, urging me to go on.
"I've... I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never wanted someone so badly to be a part of my life and I've never been so afraid to lose anyone. And I never thought it would be him, you know, the person I'd end up with, the person I'd feel like this for. But somehow it is, it's him. I feel it. It's like he's my..." I struggled for the right word.
"Ligne d'arrivée," she smiled. "In French, that means 'finish line.' It's what I told him last night. You're his finish line."
I nodded with the realization. "He's my finish line," I murmured.
"Vanessa."
We both halted and spun around abruptly. I came face to... well, chest, with Aaron. I looked up, a smile tugging at my lips. "Hi, you."
"Hi back," he grinned. "What are you two chatting about?"
"You," we answered in sync. I turned to Harmony with a sheepish smile. "Well, I'll get going now. See you both at dinner, hmm." She gave my cheek a soft pinch and Aaron's a soft slap before walking away.
He laughed, touching his cheek and then facing me. "What did she say to you?"
"Nothing," I shook my head.
"You're really going to tell me that you talked about me and then won't tell me what you said?"
"Yeah," I nodded, "really." I reached forward to put an arm around him but he stopped me.
"I'm pretty sweaty. You might not want to hug me right now."
"Huh." I glanced down at his shirt. "Then take it off."
He stared at me, a brow rising.
I shrugged. "Just a suggestion. Take it or leave it."
"Really?" he smirked and then agreed nonchalantly. "All right." He grabbed the hem and lifted it over his head.
I glanced behind us when a group of teen girls giggled and then ran away from the water when he turned to them. I chuckled in amusement, spotting Daisy and Jade nudging each other while watching us. "You must love the spotlight, Sinclair."
"You asked me to do it, Griffin," he replied mockingly. He grabbed the sleeves of his shirt since it was long sleeves and threw it around me, catching the sleeves. The shirt was around my waist and he tugged forward, pulling me into him.
My hands went straight to his chest for me to steady myself while he worked on tying the knot at my waist.
He stared down at me, smiling. He leaned in and kissed me, still tying the knot, and lifted his hand to the base of my neck, his lips moving against mine. He bit my bottom lip gently, which took me by surprise and I let out a squeak, moving up to my toes and closer to him. He let out a low chuckle into the kiss and pecked my lips a few times before pulling away.
I blinked multiple times, gawking at him. The man rendered me speechless.
He moved a hand to my cheek and brought his thumb to my bottom lip, brushing it softly.
"You bite," I mumbled, "literally."
"Sorry," he chuckled, pecking my lips one more time.
I shook my head slowly. "I didn't mind."
"Oh?"
"Oh," I giggled, wrapping my arms around his torso and resting my chin on his chest, looking up at him.
"Everyone's leaving soon," he said, pulling my hair over my shoulders. "Should we?"
"No. I want to stay behind and watch the sunset with you."
He nodded, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Sure."
I stared at him a bit longer, thinking about everything his mother just told me and how I felt. It's true, I am scared, of course, I am. I've just realized the man I thought I hated, I actually loved. And he loves me too. I've just learned that he may not actually believe in love though and doesn't hold out a lot of hope for relationships. "Aaron."
"Yes, Vanessa?"
"I know you said you don't believe in always. But do you think maybe..." I held his gaze, hoping he'd understand the question without me having to ask it.
He hummed. "I do."
My brows shot up.
"I think you can be my first and last always. Because I really like you, Vanessa. So much more than I let on and so much more than I thought I did. And I want you so badly," he said, his voice dropping lower, his dark gaze holding mine.
"Why?" I whispered.
"Because it's always been you."
.
.
.
.
.
Chapter 35
I'd die to live the "it's you, it's always been you" trope
next chapter: dance
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