It's a bit like falling in love, you know.

Noel Fielding

As the pair of them leave the pub together, Julian says, "Uh, do you need a lift home?"

"Yeah, thanks, that'd be genius," Noel says. "I live in Hackney with a couple of mates from art college."

"You drive," Julian says, tossing him the keys. "You haven't been drinking."

Noel catches the keys automatically, but says, "Um. Actually, Joo'n, I don't have my licence."

"How bloody old are you?" Julian demands, taking his keys back. "You're not still at school or something, are you?"

"No, I'm not," says Noel with offended dignity. "I've finished school, and art school, and I've finished college. I'm grown up. I just can't drive. Lots of people in London don't drive."

"Oh alright," Julian says, unlocking the passenger side of his green Ford Granada for Noel. "It's just. You know. You don't drink and you don't drive. I mean, what's the point of you?"

"I've got amazing hair, and I can entertain you," Noel says with a smile, putting on his seatbelt. "That's what I am. A born story teller."

"Okay, hit me up with a story," says Julian humorously as he starts the car. "Why don't you drink?"

"Oh. Well, that's not very interesting, really," Noel says, taken aback. "Um, I had liver disease a while ago, and couldn't drink alcohol and even though I'm okay now, the doctors thought it was better to stick with it for a few years to make sure. I still have to go for regular tests and stuff."

"Sounds like you were pretty ill," Julian comments, glancing over at Noel.

"Yeah, I was," Noel says. "They phoned for an ambulance to take me to hospital once, because they thought I was dying."

"Fuck. You obviously didn't die though."

"No, it's a bit weird, actually," Noel says. "They thought I was just about to die in the ambulance, but once I got to hospital, I felt alright. They ran all these tests on me, and my liver was fine. I mean, completely fine. I didn't have anything wrong with me."

"Wow. How did that happen?"

Noel shrugs helplessly. "It's called spontaneous remission," he says. "For some unknown reason, the disease just goes away by itself, and you get better."

"But you'd been dying ten minutes before!"

"I know, it's very weird," Noel agrees. "They kept me in hospital overnight for observation, and released me the next morning. The doctors couldn't explain it, but they still want me to be careful until they're absolutely sure it isn't going to come back again."

"You were wrong. That was an interesting story," Julian says. "It's ... well, let's just say that it's something I can relate to."

"I already know about what happened to you," Noel says.

Julian turns to him. "How do you know? Come to think of it, what do you know?"

"Everyone knows," Noel says. "It's all anyone talks about. You're an absolute legend, aren't you? The man who cheated death."

"It's probably not as exciting as it sounds," Julian says. "I got drunk and fell in a lake at my university. Some bloke rescued me ..."

"Who?"

"I never found out," Julian says. "Greg Somebody. He took me to the hospital, but didn't hang around."

"A mysterious stranger!" Noel breathes. "This is even better than the stories I've heard. Was it a uni student?"

"Don't know," Julian says, his voice slightly tense. "For all I know, Greg was an old man or something."

Noel gives a gurgle of laughter. "Old Man Greg? Hey, I'm Old Greg, bitch!" giving his best Rick James impression.

For a moment Julian is shocked into silence, and then he lets out what can only be described as a giggle. One that starts deep in his chest and leaves his throat shaking. He laughs until he's gasping for breath.

And just like that the dark figure which has haunted his nightmares and left him with an obscure  fear and disgust in the depths of his subconscious has been exorcised. No longer a monster, but merely an object of mirth.

"I have no idea how old he was," Julian says, wiping an eye on his sleeve. "He just disappeared into the shadows."

"That's quite creepy, isn't it?"

"It is a bit," Julian admits. "Anyway, I was in a coma for two days."

"I heard you literally came back from the dead."

"I was clinically dead for about ten minutes," Julian says. "So I suppose in a way that's true."

"Okay, the truth is way more amazing than all the rumours," Noel says. "Can you remember anything from being in a coma? What's it like waking up from one?"

"Can't remember a thing," Julian says. "And I woke up in stages. I'm told I'd wake up, say a few words, then I'd be out again. Sometimes I had quite long conversations before I went under. I think it took another day or two before I was fully conscious."

"I heard that some people see Heaven or Jesus or a bright light when they almost die," Noel says.

Julian shakes his head. "I didn't see anything like that. Mum says I was raving about angels and saints when I woke up, but the doctors said that's fairly normal. The wires in your brain get pretty scrambled, and you can't tell what's real and what's a dream."

"You just became the most fascinating person I've ever met," Noel says seriously.

"Well, I'm not really that fascinating," Julian says in a practical tone. "I had a long sleep, that's all."

"Has it changed how you feel about dying?" Noel asked. "I mean, does it scare you, how close you got?"

"I'm not afraid of death," Julian says quietly. "When Death comes for me, I'll welcome him as an old friend, ready to take me home. I'll invite him in, offer him a cup of tea ..."

"I imagine Death as a coffee drinker," Noel says, beginning to grin.

"There would be a range of hot beverages ready for him," Julian says with a smile. "You must be prepared for death, after all."

"Could he have a latte?"

"You bet. Whatever Death wants, Death gets."

"What if it was a hot day?"

"Then he'd have an iced coffee."

"With whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top?"

"No, he's trying to lose weight," Julian says solemnly.

Noel lets out a hysterical shriek of laughter. "But he's a skeleton! He's already bone-thin."

"Well, it's just a joke," Julian chuckles. "All those drinks would go through his ribs, anyway. Right through. Splash. On the ground. Complete waste of coffee."

Noel giggles madly until he complains his own ribs ache. "You're so funny, Joo'n. You make me laugh until it hurts."

"Well, now we've both laughed in the face of Death," Julian says. "It's been a strange car ride, full of death and mystery. Like driving around in the Scooby-Doo van."

Noel gives another groaning laugh, then says, "Would you ever use your experiences about nearly dying in stand-up or anything?"

"Not in a this is a funny thing that happened to me sort of way," says Julian. "I don't do that kind of personal anecdote stuff."

"Me either," Noel says quickly. "It's boring."

"But I suppose one day I might use it in a completely different way," Julian muses. "As part of a story, something imaginary. Take it into a crazy fantasy world, for example."

"That'd be good," says Noel. "You need to turn here for my street."

Julian turns as instructed, then says, "We're on the same bill next week, for a gig at Oxford Uni. You want a lift?"

"Yeah, thanks mate. That'd be great," Noel says, before adding, "This is mine."

"Right-oh. Maybe you can tell me another of your sagas on the way," Julian says. "Anywhere along here?"

"It's this house," Noel says, gesturing to it.

"Should've guessed," Julian says drily as he pulls up outside what is undeniably a house shared by former art students. The colourful wild paintings all over it give that away.

"Thanks for the lift," Noel says, looking at Julian. "Um ... would you like to come in for coffee or something?"

"What if I don't drink coffee?" Julian asks with a humorous twist of his mouth.

"We have a range of beverages," Noel giggles. "We're prepared."

"Really?"

"Well, a box of Tetley and a bit of cocoa," Noel says. "Might be some Bovril at the back of the cupboard."

Julian laughs. "Well, it's alright. I do drink coffee, actually. I'm very sophisticated. I've been to Europe. Several times, in fact. So you can safely allow me into your house."

"You can come in, but - " Noel begins.

Julian stops him by dabbing a kiss on his nose.

"It's alright, mate. I know what you were going to say," Julian says, looking at him fondly. "And the answer is, you don't need to worry. I'll never leave you. Ever."

END OF PART TWO