The summer finished and the autumn comes. A week ago Heisuke went to Edo, to search for new soldiers for the Shinsengumi...but for the rest it didn't happened anything new. I sigh sad...it's almost a year that I'm stuck here...i wonder, when I can go home? Now I've grew found of the Shinsengumi, it will be painful when I will have to return in the future. Maybe if I was a normal human I could choose to stay here...but I can't leave my family and my duties like this. There are also those three yokai outside, and now I can understand why there aren't any other yokai in the city. At first I didn't feel it, but around the city there is a strange barrier...and I think that prevents to the fear to grow inside it, so yokai can't built here a clan. it's ridiculously powerful if even I can feel it, but I wonder why I can sense it only now.

Maybe the onmyoji made it...sooner or later i have to find and speak with a Keikan for investigate.

I walk on the engawa going toward the kitchen. it's not my turn for cooking today, but early Nagakura ran to me and Chizuru, begging for help because...its' Okita and Saito turn to cook today...and when it's their turn it's better starving. Chizuru is busy with Hijikata and Inoue-san because I made another prank...i hided the archive's books, so now they have to find and order them in alphabetical order, and only then I will give them the last one that I hide in the ceiling...and no one know where is it, except for Okita of course.

I enter in the kitchen and Okita sighs <<what are you doing here? don't you have anything to do? Or you're so hungry that you can't wait?>> I roll my eyes <<oh shut up, i'm here for helping>> and I get closer, seeing that Saito like always is cooking tofu. Saito looks at me for a moment, probably waiting for a critic, but I just hand over a jar of spices <<try this, it should improve the flavor>> he looks at me in surprise, but in the end he nods and use the spices. Okita grumbles annoyed <<you're still not good like Chizuru at cooking, in the beginning you also didn't know how to cook at all>> I stick my tongue out at him <<at least what I cook is edible>> he frowns <<you really want to die today>> and takes another jar of spice, pouring it in the pan...without measuring!

I grab his arms blocking him <<Okita no! it's too much!>> he free himself <<a little of spicy help against the flu, early I saw Gen-san sneeze>> I cross my arms <<i understand but like this you will only poison him and killing him painful>> and I take the jar from his hands <<before adding so much please take a taste>> he shrug ignoring me. Saito sighs <<if you're going to argue like always, go outside>> I roll up my sleeves <<i'm here for help if you two let me>> and I look at Okita annoyed, but he grins <<don't blame someone else if you can't do something>> I grimace <<especially if it's your fault I guess. Well...i will try to fix what I can>> and I begin to cook with them.

...

Luckily I managed to save the lunch, so Kondo-san thanked me and gave me some dango. I walk around the headquarters in search for Okita. In the end i find him training in the dojo, so I stop at the door and look at him. He doesn't stop, but for a moment he looks at me and I blush looking at the side...what's wrong with me? Why do I feel so embarrassed? I hate this feeling, its' so stressful.

He stops and grin coming closer <<why were you looking at me? don't tell me you like me>> I roll my eyes <<shut up, I was only lost in thought and I didn't want to disturb you>> he chuckles <<so? Why are you here?>> I show him the envelope with the dango <<Kondo-san gave them to me...well, he said that you also like sweets so...do you want to eat them with me?>> he puts a hand on his hip with an amused gaze <<and you offer them to me like this? don't you want anything in return?>> he grins pinching my side with the wooden sword <<or do you want to spend time with me?>> I nod happy <<of course I want to spend time with you! you're my friend>> he looks at me puzzled, but then he chuckles <<as you like>> and he puts away the wooden sword. We sit on the engawa, and I move my legs happily eating the dango <<do you think that I can go on patrol again with the Shinsengumi sooner or later? it's been months since Ikedaya and I still want to find my friends Yura and Kana>> he eats a dango <<why are you asking me? Ask Hijikata>> I frown shaking my head <<he will surely say no! And I want your opinion about this>> he smiles amused <<you want to convince him with my help>> I nod <<also that, but for the most part I can't stand it anymore, I'm stuck here and I'm bored>> he grins <<you could try to escape, so I can kill you>> I roll my eyes <<of course smartass. Actually...why don't you accompany me? Usually Chizuru go out with the others for buying groceries, next time can we go with them?>> he grins stealing another dango <<we will see...maybe if you go outside that Kazama will appears. So I'll make him pay for Ikedaya>> I really hope that this will never happened, but I really want to go outside for a little while.

I sigh <<so I'm a bait? As long as you take me out I'm okay with that>> he chuckles <<we only need to ask Kondo-san, avoiding Hijikata>> I nod and eat another dango.

...

I observe the newcomer, who Is welcomed at the door by Hijikata and Kondo-san. he's a man with black long hair and blue eyes...he wears a lilac kimono, but he look almost like a girl. I hate him already, but he bring many soldier with him so...it's best if he become an alley.

Nagakura with a serious face says <<that man is Itou Kashitarou. He uses Itou-Ryuu style swordsmanship>> also Saito looks at Itou with a skeptical gaze <<i heard that he has the same ideas as the rebels who want to revere the emperor, expelling the foreigners. it's surprising he decided to join the Shinsengumi>> I roll my eyes, knowing that in the future Japan is open to tourist and many forefingers lives in our country. I look at Itou <<so...>> Harada nods <<he has the same belief as those Choshu dogs. I wonder if we'll get along okay...>> Okita shrugs <<if he try something I'll kill him>> I roll my eyes <<you know that there are others ways for resolving problems right? but...better keep an eye on him. I bet that he's really arrogant>> but Sannan-san appears behind us with a pissed gaze <<Itou-san is highly educated and skilled orator, if you have nothing better to do than gossip...shut up and go make something more constructive. Nura-san, if I'm not mistaken Yukimura-kun today decided to clean the dojo, it would be a good idea to give her a hand>> and he goes away.

I sigh exasperated <<since when I'm a servant? Also Chizuru is not one, it's just that she's a hard worker>> Harada puts a hand on my shoulder <<don't pay attention to him, he's not evil>> Nagakura nods <<Sannan-san been really distant lately>> Harada nod frowning <<yeah, he hardly ever talks with us anymore. Of course, he was never much of a talker to begin with>> I cross my arms worried...Sannan-san in the end lost the use of his arm, so now he's depressed and angry with himself <<don't worry Harada, I remember him when I came here...he wasn't like this. I can understand why now he's so...well you know, so I'm not really angry>> and I begin to walk away. Okita follow me with his eyes <<where are you going now?>> and Saito frowns <<i hope you don't want to prank Itou>> I laugh shaking my head <<the dojo is really big, I'm going to help Chizuru>> and I run away.

...

when we finish to clean the dojo it's dark outside, so I also help Chizuru making dinner and serving it in the private living room to Kondo-san, Hijikata, Sannan-san and Itou.

After that I accompany Chizuru outside, near the well, for washing the plates. We begin to work quickly, because if we finish early we can go to bed...that Itou was looking at us in a strange way, so we want to stay away from him. I hear someone coming closer, so I turn around seeing Itou on the engawa...he has cold eyes blinded by a strange emotion...craving maybe? He chuckles <<you two are...>> I quickly push Chizuru behind me <<what are you doing here? If you'll not go back Kondo-san and the others will come to search for you...so go away>> he ignores me and come a little closer <<what are someone like you two doing here? You for example...>> he looks at me <<the soldier's women can't live here, they wait at home so...why are you here? you're beautiful but you're not a warrior, if you don't have a place to go just return to Shimabara. Even with hair so short they can't send you away with a face and a body like that>> he think that I'm a whore from Shimabara?! I'm going to kill him really bad!

I growl <<listen...i'm gonna warn you only once...don't make me angry, because I'm not a pretty little doll to play with. I can also say for sure that I'm more manly that you, so shut up and go away you fucker>> he raises an eyebrow <<such barbarian>> he tries to approach me again and I put my hand on the hilt of my sword, but then Itou jump aside...away from me, avoiding another blade behind him.

Okita grins and point his katana to Itou, but on the tip of the sword there is a rose <<here there aren't any 'flowers' to entertain all us men. The one behind you is beautiful...but be careful, because she's surrounded by many thorns that protect also the other little flower behind her. But since you just got here, I thought you'd appreciate something soft on the eyes>> Itou takes the rose sniffing it <<my...how lovely. But how cruel of you to cut it with your katana>> Okita grins <<the school of Tennen Rishin Ryuu swordsmanship teaches to be somewhat rowdy. And for a matter of fact, the little flower behind you would have been even more rude to you than I was to this rose>> and he looks at my hand still on the hilt of my katana <<i can also say that she's also a little poisonous>> Itou half smiles <<it's a pity that the most beautiful things are also the most lethal. I'll be satisfied with admire them from a distance then>> and he goes away.

I sigh relived <<thanks Okita, but I could take care of it>> he cross his arms <<against him? I know, but he's Kondo-san's guest so...let him live a little longer>> I frown <<only if he will stay far away from us or next time I'll cut his head>> Okita laughs a little, but I ignore him and look at Chizuru <<from now don't go around alone, stay close to me or someone else. you're the most weak between us, I bet that he won't hesitate to bother you if he find you walking around alone. I will protect you from that bastard>> she nods happy <<thank you so much Riko-chan, I wish I could help you more>> I chuckles...one day you will. She then looks at Okita <<do you think that we have to tell to Hijikata-san what happened?>> Okita sighs <<why? He can't kick him out>> I nod <<i'm afraid that you're right. Well...it's best for us to go to bed, in our room we're probably safe>> Chizuru nods and washes the last plates. I look at Okita amused <<so...i'm poisonous?>> he chuckles <<you would have killed him anyway>> I shrug <<of course>> and I begin to help Chizuru.

...

a week passed and Itou didn't try anything fun with me and Chizuru, but in return he began to strike Sannan-san's delicate morals bullying him, remembering him that he can't fight anymore with slimy comments.

Me and Chizuru take the thè forward the living room, but then we see Sannan-san outside in the garden with a really sad face. We hear Hijikata inside arguing with Itou, and I sigh worried...knowing already what happened. I look at Chizuru <<i will be back quickly>> and putting the tray with the thè on the engawa's floor I walk toward Sannan-san. I hear Chizuru following me and together we stop near Sannan-san. I look at him a little hesitant <<ehm...Sannan-san?>> he looks at me with a forced smile <<do you need something?>> I shake my head <<ah no. I know that it's not really my business but don't listen to Itou, he's only an envious bastard>> he frowns shaking his head <<envious of this useless body of mine?>> I shake my head quickly <<not that silly, I was talking about your intelligence>> Chizuru nods with a smile <<she's right, cheer up>> he frown <<do I look that pitiful to you two?>> but then his gaze becomes determined. He grabs Chizuru's arm <<there's something I need to show you, follow me>> and he begins to pull Chizuru, so I just follow them and in the mealtime the sun goes down.

Sannan-san takes us toward an old warehouse, where Hijikata told us to not enter. Sannan-san enters in the warehouse with Chizuru, and I follow them without seeing anything, because inside there aren't windows and it's dark. I shiver <<i don't like this place...there is something strange and wrong here>> I feel so uncomfortable, what place is it? Sannan-san light up a candle and gives a tray of food to Chizuru <<you have a great intuition Nura-san, but for a fact you already proved that many times>> after that he takes the candle and go toward the end of the room, brightening it. I ignored his compliment because the scene In front of me is...horrific. There is a big wood cage on the wall, with different prisoners inside...with red eyes and white hair like the strange yokai that I saw that night, a year ago. Sannan-san takes the tray of food from Chizuru's hands and goes closer <<food is here>> and he begins to distribute the food passing it under a little space below the cage.

When I entered...i sensed their strange fear...how is that possible? I wasn't able to do that before because I'm basically human...what the hell is going on?!

Chizuru trembles taking my arm <<w...what?>> now that I see them I can sense clearly their power but...there is something completely wrong in them, almost like they are something weak and fake...unnatural <<what are these fake yokai Sannan-san?! What the hell did you done?!>> he closes the warehouse door blocking us inside <<strange...is funny that you call them fake yokai...but they're not demons, they are rasetzu...and they are the victims of Kodo's experiments>> Chizuru almost passed out, but I grab her shoulder helping her. She turns quickly pale <<my...my father?>> Sannan-san nods <<because of that drug, they have the urge to drink blood. I'm certain you've seen what I'm talking about>> for a moment I remember the two rasetzu that me and Chizuru met that night...how they brutally killed those ronin drinking their blood. Also Chizuru remembers and cover her month shocked. But Sannan-san continues to explain, taking a little vial with a red liquid inside from his kimono. I immediately feel that this thing is a mixed of something demoniac and something else...is something that should not exist. Sannan-san ignores our shocked faces, and continue to speaks <<this drugs first came from the west...we call it Ochimizu. Who drink this, gain a superior strength and more healing abilities than humans. This should have become the new power of the Shinsengumi...but it has a fatal flaw. Our order from the shogun is find a way to overcome that weakness, so Kodo has used the Shinsengumi as his test subjects, but when he disappeared his research was stopped>> I shake my head horrified and shocked <<you...you let yourself be used as test subjects? No I can't believe this!>> he frowns <<you don't believe that? You have the proof in front of you, what I'm saying is the true. After Kodo disappeared I used what he left behind, producing this>> and he shows the vial in his hand <<if I drink it...i probably can heal my arm>> I turn pale <<no! don't do that! it's insane! You would become a rasetzu, a fake demon! Human aren't mean to use this power! You will fail and it will destroy you!>> fear is something that give yokai their strength, but this power is so strong that can easily destroy a human. Only we gray existence can mixed fear and human blood because we're born with both from the start!

Chizuru nods scared <<Riko is right! Please Sannan-san don't do this>> but Sannan-san angry shakes his head <<if I drink it now, it might heal my arm or it will remain like this forever! I'm a waste as a cripple. I only ask you two to kill me if I fail!>> and quickly he takes the vial near his mouth. I run toward him, slapping his hand throwing the vial away...but it's empty already.

For a very long second nothing happened, but then Sannan-san begins to wriggle and scream for the pain. I turn to Chizuru <<run! Call someone quickly!>> she looks at me hesitant <<but you...i can't leave you here!>> I shake my head <<shut up and go now...agh!>> Sannan-san grabs my throat raising me from the ground. I pant breathing with difficult, putting my hands on Sannan-san's arms trying to free myself. His eyes now are red and his hair are white...he's a rasetzu without control!

I struggle with all my strength kicking him but he tightens his grip stealing my breath. With the corner of my eyes I see Chizuru running away. My sight becomes clouded, so i begin to scratch Sannan-san's arms, face and wherever I can hoping to push him away with all my strength, I even slap his glass away from his faces, but he ignores me and continue to laugh and giggle like a mad man.

I try to grab my sword for a minute, and In the end I sink it in his shoulder...but his wound heals almost immediately and he didn't let go. What can I do?! he's to strong and at this rate he'll break my neck before he choke me! If only...if only...!

I see a little pink cherry petal fall on the ground near us and the same voice of last time speaks in my head <<if only what? Have the same strength? you're so stupid. His strength is from an abomination...humans that take this drugs for becoming fake yokai...is something against nature. But...our strength is the authentic one...you only have to accept and don't give up>> I stop struggle for the surprise, realizing that she's right...i'm born with the strength that they're trying to obtain.

I feel in my body an explosive energy and my blood begins to boil becoming hot. A black mist envelopes my body, exploding in a big blast that hit Sannan-san, who is send flying toward the wall. He hits the cage's wall painfully and stops moving for a moment, but I fell on my knees coughing and breathing heavily, and then the black mist disappeared with the little pink cherry petal. Sannan-san's stands up and I crawl back, but then Okita and Saito run in the room and stop Sannan-san making him lose consciousness with a powerful hit. Harada and Nagakura run toward me with worried gaze <<Riko!>> I stop coughing and nods, speaking with a hoarse voice <<i'm...fine>> and Nagakura helps me stand up. Hijikata comes closer with cold eyes <<Shinpachi, go and watch Maekawa-tei entrance. You Harada takes Yagi-tei entrance and controls the troops. Saito, you wait in the garden and controls Itou and his men>> Okita adds <<Hijikata, i'm staying here in case Sannan-san wakes up and I have to kill him>> Hijikata nods <<okay>> and only then I notice Yamazaki near the door with an unconscious Chizuru in his arms. Saito, Harada and Nagakura run away but Hijikata looks at me with chilly eyes <<i want an explanation>> I nod a little scared...only a little because I can still sense my hot blood decreasing in my veins...this is our...my power? My fear?

Okita looks at me amused, but with a serious gaze <<i see that you can't stand away from trouble>> I sigh knowing that this time they are serious...if I'm a nuisance they can decide to kill me, I have to think of something quickly <early me and Chizuru saw Sannan-san sad, so we tried to cheer him up, but he taken us here>> I look angry at the rasetzu still in the cage <<and...he told us about the Ochimizu and the rasetzu. We tried to stop him, but he drank that stupid drug for his arm>> Hijikata frowns <<so he told you everything>> I nod looking at Chizuru...maybe she passed out for the shock <<he also told us that in the beginning the experiments were made by Kodo Yukimura>> Okita grins <<now I understand why Chizuru-chan passed out>> I clench my fists angry and disappointed <<why?...why did you do this?! Why did you made fake demons making your men suffer like this?! it's only cruel and wrong!>> Hijikata crosses his arms <<fake demons?>> I put my hands on my hips...i need to tell them something true for making them understand <<the rasetzu are only a bad copy of other creatures. The originals have more strength and power...it's something that a normal human can't gain...this experiment was doomed to fail since the beginning>> Yamazaki looks at me in surprise <<how do you know that?>> I glare at them angry <<i know...some people born like this...with superior strength and surprising healing abilities, but they don't drink blood. I'm really shocked that you are trying to have those powers without understand why human aren't born with them and some people are. You all are fools if you think that you can succeed>> Hijikata walks toward me <<tell us everything you know about this people and where they are>> I glare at him <<i will not, and for the matter of fact I don't know where my friends are now. They hid themselves so I can't bring them to you...but I won't do it in any case, because they are my teacher and her son, Shiro, who is like a brother for me. But I think that we met others...>> and I look at Okita <<it wasn't your fault at Ikedaya that you lost...Kazama and the others two are strong...too much for a mere human. I think that they are originals, exactly like Shiro and his mother>> so they can understand how much dangerous they are.

Okita frowns <<mmh? So that's how things are...i'm not gonna lose next time anyway>> I snap my tongue <<i don't doubt your strength, but those enemies are not at everyone's level...you can fight them but please be careful, and I beg you...stop this madness! This experiment in the long term will destroy you all and every sacrifice will be useless>> Okita frowns <<you are underestimating us, only for this I could kill you>> but Hijikata ignores him and ask me <<what else are you hiding from us? Why those three originals are interested in you?>> I raise my hands <<don't overdo it, remember that I'm not your enemy. I already told you why they want me...i look like that woman, Yohime, but it's true that I don't know her>> Hijikata sighs <<i hope for you that this is the true. Even like this we will not stop our experiments, it's an order from the Shogun and we can't stop now. it's true that Kodo disappeared but we can't give up. Every test subjects were not forced to drink the Ochimizu...they were soldiers that broke the rules, so they chose between seppuku or Ochimizu>> I grimace <<i understand that it was an order but...there are more important things!>> he ignored me <<this is the Shinsengumi's dirty secret, only the captains and the commander know it...and now also you and Yukimura>> I don't look away <<do you intend to kill us for this?>> Okita sighs amused <<i will do it, don't worry>> but Hijikata continues to speak <<we need Yukimura for finding Kodo, but you...it appear that you can recognize the originals, for all we know you could be one>> I shake my head <<i will not help your experiments but...>> I grab my katana on the ground, cutting a little my palm <<i will warn you if you meet one of them on the battlefield>> and I show them my hand...where the cut doesn't heal <<this is enough? I'm human>> I will not turn over Chizuru or myself like an idiot. Hijikata looks closely to my hand, but in the end he nods, ignoring the rasetzu on the cage, who scream excited seeing my blood <<this is enough>> I sigh in relief closing my hand <<you're stupid you know? When we met I was injured...well it doesn't matter. So, you won't kill us right?>> he nods <<only if you keep this secret and you have to tell us if an enemy is an original>> I nod <<i will keep the secret. The true is that I didn't even wanted to know about this mess, I'm not really eager to tell this story to someone>> Hijikata nods <<i leave to you to tell Yukimura what happened when she wakes up. Yamazaki, take them to their room>> Yamazaki nods and I follow him outside.

We didn't say anything during our walk, and in the end he left Chizuru to me, so I just change her and put her to bed and sit near the window. What a night...everything is so fucking insane! and...that voice...is really possible that....that woman is me?