- Chapter Ninety-Three -
"Or you'll live long enough to see yourself become a villain."

The rest of the meeting had been some kind of blur to Elladora, she would pick up conversations every now and then but her mind couldn't spot whereabouts they were coming from or who was talking at that moment. All she could think of were her own words of accepting the task that had been offered, not given, it had been her own choice to accept it because she was given the chance at revenge and took it without a second thought and that terrified her. She didn't even think about saying it, she just did and now she was stuck with that because she was...forever to obey.

The unbreakable vow loomed with demented grandeur over her head and she thought back to when her arm was clasped in Voldemort's and her own father had placed the tip of his wand where their arms connected. She remembered the thin red flames wrapping around her arm and burning the scars which were nearly faded before she had muttered those three words and felt a harsh burn in her arm which she suspected was the excitement of the curse having a purpose.

Voldemort hadn't bothered her with anything else after her acceptance of the task and moved on to the more important stuff instead; mainly consulting Evan's sister and her friends that were going to get Evan out of where he was being kept, Alecto had been holding Evan's hand under the table and running a thumb over the back of her hand in an attempt to calm the tears that were so desperately trying to escape from the girls eyes.

Elladora's father had been beaming every since she uttered her first and last three words of the meeting, his hands clasped together excitedly on top of the table. Her mother however hadn't smiled that much and actually attempted to reach her hand over to her daughter's knee which lead to Elladora jerking it away and hitting it against the table but the thud wasn't heard over the laughter of the Death Eaters at someone's bad joke.

"Miss Hargreeves," Voldemort's voice made the blur disappear as she trained herself to the conversation and let her gaze travel towards him, his hair specked with grey in his age sitting neatly on his head as he stared at her with his piercing brown eyes. "Your task..."

She gulped as he surveyed her up and down from what he could see, she was sure he would look further down if she was stood instead of sat at the table. But she tried to look at him anyway instead of glancing away and when his eyes snapped back up to meet hers, her breath got caught in her throat but not in a good way.

"Your task is to be complete by the 25th June, 10pm or I think you know what happens." He said gravely and raised an eyebrow to make sure she understood him, she nodded slowly and tried to make sense of it...June 25th was 10 days away. "Good...everyone is dismissed."

Elladora was the first one out of her seat, trying not to look like she was rushing away but she definitely went a bit faster than the rest; she passed the Carrow twins who were walking with Evan's sister and she spared the girl a small smile, if Elladora missed Evan this much she couldn't imagine how his sister felt. Regulus was in the corner of her eye at one point but she ignored him, pushing open the doors and walking into the entrance hall to her house.

But she didn't stop and just kept on walking until she reached the far hallway and turned down it, breathing heavily and walking with only her worries on her mind. The downstairs bathroom was only a few doors away, a couple...one and she was there, her hand reaching for the doorknob and pushing it open before she shut it behind her and made a beeline towards the sink where she gripped the sides just like she had the day she first got the mark.

She glanced up to look at herself and scoffed as she pushed away from the sink and turned away from the mirror, she couldn't bare to look at herself. Instead she looked to her arm and slowly reached to pull the sleeve up, letting it rest bunched up at the top of her arm as she stared at the inked skull and snake surrounded by burns of the vow, more noticeable than usual; she suspected it was because she did something that could actually get her killed so the vow had strengthened and put her life on a string...in 10 days the string would either be cut or put aside for later termination.

Her mind struggled with which one she might prefer; Dumbledore dead or herself.

Elladora returned to the sink, turning the cold tap and collecting water in her hands before putting it on her face to help cool down. Everything was so stressful and annoying and time-consuming and she was slowly breaking down into nothing, she tried to remind herself that this is what she wanted. She wanted to kill Dumbledore for killing Sebastian. So why did it feel so wrong and why did the thought of it cause her stomach to turn and make her feel nauseous?

"Fuck." She muttered to herself, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head whilst she dried her hands on a hand towel to the side of the sink. With dry hands, she pulled her sleeve down so it covered the marks and scars on her arm and with drops of cold water running down her face, she returned to staring into the mirror.

The door to the bathroom opened harshly and her eyes snapped to it, looking at it through the mirror as Regulus Black entered with his face screwed up in anger with pure fire in his eyes. Elladora turned and they stared at each other, all she saw was his anger and all he saw was her lack of tears. To him they told him she didn't care but to her it was just because she didn't see the point in crying about things that can't be undone.

"You're a real hypocrite, you know that?" He said to her, glaring viciously and she scoffed, turning around again and grabbing the hand towel to wipe over the water still on her face; she should have known he had nothing nice to say.

"How so?" She asked him, clenching her jaw as she whirled back around to narrow her eyes at him just the same as he was at her.

"Talking about Horcruxes like they're some great thing that can end a war and then volunteering to start the fucking war." He spat with venom, using his hand to punctuate his sentences but all she did is look up at him. "Why encourage it when you were so hellbent on ending it?"

"The wars already started, Regulus." She told him, shaking her head as her voice raised slightly. "It ends with me. I'm the one whose going to kill Dumbledore and avenge my brother as well as protecting innocent kids that he's going to put through all of this shit, I'm the one whose also going to kill Voldemort and fight off the Death Eaters until they get tired. I'm the only one doing anything!"

"You think the Dark Lord dying is just going to stop the rest of us?" Regulus asked her with an incredulous laugh, widening his eyes slightly. "We'll continue with the cause whether we have a leader or not-"

"Without your leader, you are nothing." She practically shouted at him. "What cause is there to continue? Discriminating against someone because of where they come from? It's fucking pathetic. You're a coward, you're all cowards, too stuck up to realise that you're just the same as everyone else but with a bigger and much more dangerous ego. Killing Dumbledore prevents an unwanted trigger of anger for Voldemort, finding Horcruxes and destroying Voldemort prevents genocide and if I die at the hands of one of the most loyal Death Eaters I'll be okay with that. Because other people will fight for what's right, you'll be outnumbered and I will die a hero."

"Or you'll live long enough to see yourself become a villain." Regulus stepped closer to her, towering over her but she didn't back away and just stood her ground in front of him, glaring still. "We're not the cowards, El. That's all you and you'll live to regret that you weren't on the right side."

They travelled into silence, eyes flaring and chests heaving. Regulus was the first to break the eye contact, scoffing quietly and turning away to angrily walk over to the door and pull it open roughly so the inside door handle nearly dented the wall that it slammed into with a thud.

"It's bold of you to assume I'm picking a side, Black." She said after him but he was already gone storming down the hallway and Elladora was left alone in the bathroom, thinking to herself before running a hand through her hair and making her own way out of the bathroom to return to the group of Death Eaters returning to Hogsmeade.

The scars of the mark burning freely with excitement of a new task were hidden under her sleeve but it didn't mean that she didn't feel the itching and crawling of her skin in the aftermath of the burn. Her mind was running in circles as she started to walk slowly down the hallway, the bottom of her shoes scuffing against the floorboards below whilst the little voices in her head argued over her own sanity and decisions.

"What's Regulus mad about, Hargreaves?" A daunting voice came from behind her and she whirled around to see Walden Macnair stood at the end of the hallway near the window whereas she was one third down the hallway.

"Don't know." She mumbled with a shrug and turned to keep walking, rolling her eyes at the sound of his pattering footsteps behind her.

"I think you do know." He said, the smirk prominent in his voice as he followed her down the hallway and she ignored him. "Considering he came out angry, then you came out of the bathroom too. Is he mad you because you volunteered so quickly for the job he wanted to take from you?"

She ignored him, he just wanted to cause problems.

"Maybe he's mad because you were so resentful of your betrothal." He continued and Elladora's hand twitched in the need to cover her ears but that would give him satisfaction so she kept them down whilst she walked though he was surely chipping her sanity away with each word he said. "And because you so obviously want to marry that Loony Lupin instead."

She paused for just a second before continuing to walk whilst trying to keep her breath controlled, but Macnair had noticed her mistake by the way he chuckled lowly and she slipped her hand into her waistband before pulling out her wand and holding it by her side as he laughed harder at her actions.

"That's it, isn't it?" He laughed again and the end of the hallway seemed to get further and further away as his voice got louder. "You involved yourself with your mission too much and fell for Lupin. You're fucking, aren't you?"

"No."

"Oh, but you want to."

"No, I don't."

"I bet you tell him everything." His voice was closer, louder and she clenched her jaw as she walked although it seemed like she was just staying still whilst he laughed maniacally. "Because you could never lie to someone you like, could you? You've told him where you go on Hogsmeade weekends-"

"Stop it." She shook her head, clenching her jaw and furrowing her eyebrows in anger.

"You've told him what happened between us."

"Stop." She said more forcefully, her grip on her wand tightening with every word he spoke.

"You've told him what's going to happen with you and Regulus."

"Shut up, Macnair."

"You've told him you've got the mark."

"Shut it."

"You've told him about your vow..."

"I said shut up!"

"You've told him about your pathetic excuse for a brother and how he was too weak to care for such a frigid bitch like you." He seethed into her ear and again at the mention of her brother, she was blinded by rage with her wand in her hand and turned to point it at him, two words slipping past her lips which she never thought would under her own free will.

"Avada Kedavra."

As soon as she had heard the words come out of her mouth, she had stopped and clamped her mouth shut with her hands coming to slap over it whilst her wand dropped from her hand and landed with a clatter on the floor. But the damage had already been done...Macnair flew away from her across the hallway back the way they had walked and he landed on the floor roughly as the blinding green subsided and Elladora was left with her eyes wide and hands over her mouth.

This time she did cry. Despite how much she hated Macnair and his actions and his words, she never wanted to kill him that ruthlessly. The silence screamed volumes as she stood frozen staring at the still body down the hallway, she couldn't even hear her own breathing amongst the sounds of her buzzing, unintelligible thoughts. Her mind screamed at her for what she had done, clawing at her skull and punching at her brain.

"No, no, no, no." She repeated over and over again. There may be no point in crying about things that can't be undone but she allowed herself a small break from her current rule, feeling her hot tears drip over her hands that were clasped to her face. Her feet raced back down the hallway to where he lay and her knees buckled so she looked over him and stared right into his open, unblinking eyes. "No, no, no, wake up. Don't be dead, please don't be dead, please-"

A sob coming from her own mouth cut her off and she sucked in a large, shaking breath to keep quiet before she nervously glanced up at the end of the hallway, grateful at the fact that no one was there to see what she had done. She wanted to do something but she didn't know what she could do, he was dead and there was no going back but if anyone found out, she'd be done for. She redirected her attention back to Macnair and she slapped him slightly, seeing if that might wake him up but she knew it was no use.

Footsteps made her head snap up again towards the view of the end hallway and she let out another sob at the sight of her mother looking down the hallway at her over Macnair's dead body. The woman stood there, mouth falling agape at the sight as her daughter cried over this boys dead body with her hands on his shoulders after shaking them.

"I didn't mean to." She hiccupped but knew deep down there was no point in trying to defend herself now, her mother had seen her and her wand that could easily prove she had cast the spell was closer to her mother than it was to her. "I didn't mean to- I'm sorry- it just- no, please, no..."

Elladora took her hands away from Macnair and scrambled back until her back hit the wall as her mother took long strides down the hallway towards the body, she couldn't read the emotion on her mothers face but she curled into herself anyway, covering her face as she sobbed and her mother stood before her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it..." She tried to plead, voice strained as she shouted and cried into her arms whilst blocking her mother from view. "He was saying stuff and-and-and I got mad and I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I really am, I didn't-"

"Be quiet." Her mother ordered and the young girl whimpered into her arms as she stopped talking. "Look at me." Elladora hesitated before she slowly glanced up at her mother to see the woman looking down at her with a trembling jaw and her eyes full of some sort of emotion Elladora had never seen on her before.

Once Cassiopeia had her daughters attention, she moved away from her and towards one end of Macnair's body. She peered down at it and gulped slightly whilst Elladora watched nervously, lips trembling, vision blurred and cheeks with tear-stains as her mother stared at the dead boy on the floor.

"I-I'm sorr-"

"Help me pick him up." Cassiopeia said quietly, glancing at her daughter and Elladora looked up at her with wide eyes. "Quickly before someone sees."

The younger of the two scrambled up quickly, standing at the other side of Macnair's body and grabbing his legs whilst her mother grabbed his arms and they both lifted him in their arms. Her head jerked towards the music room and Elladora nodded, beginning to walk forward whilst Cassiopeia walked back before kicking her foot back to push open the door behind her. The two of them shuffled into the room and set the body down in the middle of the room surrounded by the piano and the violins.

"Stay here." Cassiopeia ordered before walking out of the room and closing the door behind her, leaving Elladora to sit herself down on the piano stool.

Silence had never been so suffocating before. She didn't know where to look. Macnair was lay dead and staring at the ceiling in the middle of the room and the rest of the room was surrounded in instruments and sheet music for old wizarding songs that barely anyone knew since they had been passed down for generation and it just generally brought back bad memories. Instead she settled on the door to the room; she was sure her mother had gone to get her father and they would damage her more than ever today.

The window in the room was bolted shut as always so there was no way she could escape so all she could do was put her head in her hands and await her punishment with tears leaking from her stinging eyes. Even with her face buried in her hands, she could see the limp hand of Macnair but she also knew that if she closed her eyes, his dead body would come to mind.

With a click, the door swung open and Elladora's head jerked up from her hands in preparation to see her father but all that there was was her mother who closed the door softly behind her and walked slowly over to the piano stool before sitting herself next to Elladora.

"I told them that I'd be keeping you and Walden here for a minute." She spoke and Elladora tried to avoid all contact as she looked away from her and frowned at the wall. "I'll say that I don't know where he went when you apparated away. You'll be safe-"

"Why didn't you tell me father didn't kill Sebastian?" Elladora cut her off, speaking before her mother could promise anything that would be broken. She knew it was a risky topic to bring up but she' had enough and if she got punished, so be it, Voldemort wouldn't want her dead. "I know you knew. I saw what happened."

"What do you mean you saw?" Cassiopeia asked and Elladora felt her eyes burning into the side of her head. "Y-Your father did kill Seb...astian."

"No, he didn't." Elladora shook her head, refusing to look at the woman who stared so obviously at her. "It was Dumbledore. I saw it in a memory, he was dead in an alleyway when you found him."

Cassiopeia stayed silent and Elladora took in a shaky breath, lip trembling as she continued. "My boy. My darling boy! I told him not to make you come. I told. I told. I hear your voice every day screaming over his body, I see his body everyday and I see Dumbledore firing the killing curse at him everyday...how could you let me believe you killed him? I've resented you both for years because of it and after all this time, it was the old man behind it all. And now I have to kill him, just like I did Macnair...because you raised me as a murderer."

The words came naturally and Cassiopeia didn't interrupt once, Elladora couldn't help but think back to the day she got the mark when they had screamed at one another and then she had tortured her beyond belief until it was like she wasn't even in her mind. Like she had been seeing the world in third person as she lead her down to her doom.

"I never meant for this to happen." Cassiopeia whispered hoarsely and Elladora glanced at her out of the corner of her eye but looked away just a quickly, furrowing her eyebrows to herself. "We were supposed to be a happy family. Your father was always a friend of Voldemort's at school but I never knew that it would lead to this, I always knew something was off about that Tom Riddle but I was told to ignore it. If I knew, I never would've brought you into the world. Because...I lo-"

"Don't say you love me." Elladora cut her off, attempting to scoot away along the piano stool but she didn't get far. "Please, don't. Because this, what you've done, what you've said, is not love. Love is caring for someone so much you would do anything to protect them, to avenge them. Not forcing them into a prejudiced hate group and making them kill people!"

"I have protected you!" Cassiopeia pleaded, turning to face Elladora who avoided eye contact once more. "I've done all I can to protect you. All I live for is to protect you. I couldn't do that for Sebastian but I have put everything into making sure you survive."

"Torturing me?" Elladora asked her, still not looking at her but with the way Cassiopeia let out a small gasp she knew that she was talking right to her. "Making me become a slave for someone else's needs? Stripping me of all happiness I could've ever known? The abuse? The force? The secrets? How is that love?"

"You would be dead by now if I let you lead a life like your brother." Cassiopeia begged but Elladora stood up and walked to the other side of the room. "Rodolphus knew, he knew of Sebastian's friends and he was so so angry. He told me it was my fault, hit me, assaulted me, everything. I let him do whatever he wanted as long as he didn't hurt Sebastian but he took him out to that mission as revenge for what he did. I could not have you going out the same way!"

"He didn't make you torture and abuse me though, did he?" Elladora cried desperately, turning for the first time to face her mother who was crying and the younger girl scoffed at the tears rolling down her face. "You didn't have to put me through that much! I WAS 10, I AM 17!"

"I'm sorry." Her voice broke as she stood off of the stool too. "I was angry, at myself and at your father and I took it out on the easiest option-"

"Your own daughter?"

"I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it! Sorry can't get rid of the amount of damage you gave me, sorry can't fucking take back what I did. SORRY MEANS NOTHING!" Elladora shouted before finally breaking on the spot, tears travelling faster down her cheeks as she looked at her mother who let her mouth drop open at the sight and rushed forward to wrap her in a hug.

She fought at the embrace, trying to hit and push her mother off of her whilst grunting out her feelings and just hitting and hitting and hitting, attempting to get the woman off of her. But in the end, her limbs fell numb and she crumpled into the hug, sobbing but never returning the hug. Her mother tried to shush her like she was a child and Elladora pathetically tried to push her off again through her loud cries.

"No, no, get off of me." Elladora cried but made no other moves to try and escape the embrace as the wet drops fell onto her mothers shoulder as the woman held her daughter close. "No, no, no, get off..."

•*•*•*•*•
A/N: a lot of things to unpack here

sorry this is so late, I honestly don't have an excuse apart from the fact that this chapter was so hard to write.

7 chapters left...