"Oh, so you do still have my number," Tim dramatically answered when I called him on my drive back to Mary's.

"Can you be slightly less dramatic?"

"No, I don't think I can, but I can certainly be more dramatic," he offered.

"No thanks. I have Viv for the dramatics."

"Woah, way to bury the lead there, Lilipop. You guys told Viv?"

"Well, Billy did the heavy lifting, but we're kid-official."

"And..."

"Jackson was great. And Viv was..."

"Viv," Tim laughed. "Not going to lie. I like it."

"Timmy!"

"Seriously, Lil, this is a big deal. She should challenge you two."

"I thought we were over this?" My words fell out like a whine.

"We've been over this; that's very different from being over this."

"Timmy, can you please be happy for me? I need you to be happy for me." There was a pleading in my voice.

Tim heaved a sigh before adding, "are you at Mary's?"

"No, but I will be soon. I was calling to see if you want to go record shopping with Billy, Jackson, and me this afternoon."

"I do. And I'll meet you at Mary's to talk some more."

"Really?"

"I'll try," he highlighted. "I'll see you soon, Lil."

"Mary," I called out from the doorway and winced at myself for entering with a holler like the boys.

"In the kitchen," Mary called back in her familiar sing-song voice. "Out late or out early?" She teased as I slid onto the stool of the island.

"Sorry, I should've left a note... and late," I admitted. "Billy is a decent cook," I added.

"Only breakfast," she warned with a twinkle.

"Tim's coming over. Is that okay?"

"Lily, while you're here, this is your house. You don't need to ask me for permission to have friends over, nor do you need to ask my permission to go out." She held her hands up as if to prove that I didn't offend her in the least.

"Mary, what do you think about Billy and me?"

"You're one of my favorite people, and he's one of my favorite sons."

"Are you allowed to have favorite sons?"

"Of course, as long as they are all among the group of favorites," she giggled.

"I mean, what do you think of us together?"

As I spoke, her back was to me and slightly stiffened as I asked my direct question. It was a subtle hesitation that deflated me.

"I want to know your thoughts," I prodded.

She turned with a sigh and threw her dishtowel to the counter before leaning her elbows on it. "You two should focus on what each other thinks and stop making your relationship an episode of The Family Feud."

"But you matter. Our relationship affects you."

"It does, and I have my opinions just like everyone else, but you know what opinions help?"

"People make decisions?" I guessed.

"No, they help no one. You know how you feel about my Billy, and Billy knows how he feels about you. Those are the only facts you two need. It's all you two knuckleheads should've ever focused on."

"Knuckleheads," I pouted a bit.

"Lily, I love you. I'll always love you. Stop polling the world and make your own damn decisions. Neither of you are children anymore, so it's time to grow up."

"You can be mean," I noted.

"I can. And you haven't seen me be mean," she agreed as she stood up from her slump and returned to the dishes.

I slid from the stool and tried to slip away quietly.

"Say hi to Billy and let him know what a mean monster I am," Mary called after me.

"That was the plan!"

It only rang once before Billy's urgent voice was there. "Hey, Lil, everything okay?"

"Your mom was mean to me," I pouted.

"What?" I could hear him shift the phone as his voice became more distant. "I'll be right back, Jackson; you good?" I didn't hear Jackson's response, but when Billy spoke again, he came through loud a clear.

"I asked your mom what she thought of us, and she was mean to me?"

Billy let out a sigh. "How was she mean?"

"She told me to stop polling everyone's opinions and to grow up and make my own relationship decisions."

Billy let out a laugh. "Well, I can't say she's wrong."

"I know, but she was mean to me, and I'm her favorite."

"Lil, you're not her favorite. I'm her favorite."

"Billy, you know I'm her favorite."

"Lil, that's ridiculous."

"Ugh, hold on," I grumbled as I headed back to the kitchen. "Mary, who's your favorite?"

With no hesitation, Mary responded with, "Timothy."

"What?" Billy and I said at the same time.

"That's just not right," Billy added in my ear.

"Timmy is your favorite?"

"You asked. Now, what did I say about polling people?" Mary absently shot as she put a teacup away.

"I bet this is how Viv feels all the time," I griped.

Both Mary and Billy let out a laugh.

"Is this crisis averted?" Billy asked as I made my way back to my office.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Mmkay. You need anything else?"

"Yes," I added as I flopped down on the couch in my office.

"And that would be?"

"I love you, Billy."

"I love you too, Lily."

"Ew," Timmy added as he flopped down next to me.

"Is that Tim?" Billy asked.

"Yeah, he came over to play. Your mom said it was okay if I had a playdate, but now I regret it."

"I bet you do. She couldn't have been serious about him being the favorite. I have to be the favorite."

"I'm pretty sure it's me," I argued.

"Well, we can both agree that it's not Tim."

"For sure, it's not Tim. You get back to your tiling. Call me when you're ready to hit up the record store."

"Love you," he said before hanging up.

"Hey," I said with a sigh as I leaned into Tim.

"Hey." He curled into me as well.

"How's life?" I asked.

"Good; Tess seems off lately. Has she said anything to you?" Tim burst without a pause.

I sat up straight at the unexpected conversation starter. "What do you mean, off?"

"I don't know; she just seems less..." His finger scratched his temple as he thought about his word choice. "Would it make sense if I said less sparkly?"

"Yes," I smiled.

"I mean, it's Tess. She's always had this life to her, but recently she just seems muted or something."

I smiled at the care Tim took, even when talking about Tess. "I think she's in a transition and uncertain about what's next."

"Transition? What transition?" There was a look of concern in his eyes.

"She loves you, Timmy."

"I know that, but if she feels like she's transitioning into something, then why isn't she coming to me?" There was an air of hurt in his voice.

"Well, I think she wants to figure it out on her own," I offered.

"On her own? But she isn't on her own; she has me?"

"Right, but you have your work and music; she wants her thing."

"My work and music are her work and music. I don't have a thing separate from her. She's my thing; she's all my things."

"I love you so much, Timmy." I giggled as I melted further into him. "You're the sweetest."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm the best. Tell me about my wife!" He demanded.

"Right, so you do the things. She needs a do-thing."

"She does the things. Every track, every photo, every title, everything, she weighs in. Billy listens to her more than me. She does all the things. Does she not think she does the things?"

"Um, maybe?" I admitted as I pulled myself off him to meet his sharp gaze.

"How could she think she doesn't do all the things?"

"I think maybe you should have this conversation with her. I'm feeling woefully unprepared. Honestly, maybe you and Billy should have this conversation with her. It sounds like she should be on the payroll."

"Yeah, yeah," Timmy distractedly spoke as he stared off into space. "Man, she doesn't think she does all the things."

I slumped back into his side as he continued to ponder a few minutes longer. I could tell when his mind drifted from the original topic, when he began to tap his foot at a less rapid pace.

"How are you, Timmy?"

"It would appear I'm a terrible husband and crappy best friend," he moaned.

"That's not true. And you're Mary's favorite."

"Yeah, but there's no actual competition there," he answered automatically.

"What? You knew you were her favorite?"

"Of course. Who else would be her favorite?"

"I don't know; me?"

"You?" Tim laughed. "You destroyed Billy multiple times. She may forgive, but she doesn't forget."

"Ugh, fine. What about Billy?"

"Billy, he's too moody to be Mary's favorite. We are talking about Perry Como loving, polka dancing, the life of the party, Mary. Of course, I'm her favorite; we have the most in common."

"I can't believe you knew you were her favorite."

"Well, that and she told me at my wedding that I was her favorite," he added with a sheepish shrug.

"Yeah, but I mean, don't you think she says that to everyone at their wedding?"

"Um, no. She asked Billy if he was sure he was making the right choice at his wedding."

"Ouch," I said with a wince.

"Yeah, right?" Timmy shook his head to himself. "I mean, she was right, but still... probably not the best messaging right before the organ plays."

"Billy is having dinner with Sarah and the kids tonight," I added with little thought. It was just the only thing I had to share about Sarah.

"What? No, they hate each other."

"They don't hate each other," I chided.

"Ah, yeah, they do. Sarah has tried to ruin Billy multiple times, and Billy is not unaware of that."

"Well, he also knows that he has made many mistakes and owes Sarah a lot."

"What?"

"Viv and Jackson," my evident tone hit Tim like a punch.

"This feels dangerous. I don't like it. Why can't everyone stay in their respective corners? Life was simple when everyone stayed in their boxes."

"No one heals that way, Timmy."

Tim sighed. "When did you become an adult?"

"I think it was when I found out you were the favorite, but I could slide back to infancy at any moment," I warned.

"Promise?"

"I'll try my best."

"Okay, next topic. Did you agree to let Billy buy you a car and have an office at the studio?"

"Yes, and yes."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Lily?"

"Billy presented a multi-faceted and well-planned case for both and...."

"And..." Tim cocked an eyebrow at me.

"And I want him to feel secure with us."

"Feel secure?"

"You know how you worried about us imploding and me running away again?"

"Yes, I recall that sage worry." He nodded as he lifted his hand to look profound.

"Well, you aren't the only one with scars; he has some trepidation about that too. These things make him feel better, so I'm happy to oblige."

"And what about your scars, Lilipop?" As he spoke, he let a finger glide over my forearm.

"I'm still working out my scars."

"Working out?"

"I have them; I just don't know what they are. I know why I ran in the past, and I don't feel that way right now, but...."

"Okay, hold on. I need to stop you there." Tim shifted on the couch, so he was facing me more. I felt the pressure of his full attention. "Why did you leave before? And don't give me the 'Billy's light was too bright' bullshit."

"I wasn't ready. I wasn't me yet."

"What? Of course, you were you. Who else would you have been?"

"You know the girl you knew twenty years ago?"

"Yeah, she was great; funny, smart, independent, driven."

"Yeah, see, that girl was lost and scared and directionless for me."

"What? Aw, Lil, why didn't you tell me that?"

"Because I didn't know. I was twenty years old when I met you and Billy. I barely knew how to function, let alone who I was or what my damage was. How could I be with Billy, be the person you and Billy loved so much, if that person was a stranger to me?"

"I'm sorry, Lil. I didn't know you felt that way." Tim pulled me to his chest as he spoke. His Adam's apple bobbed against my forehead as he swallowed.

"How could you? I never told you! I honestly didn't know I felt that way. I just knew I'd get massive anxiety at random times."

"And now? You see that kickass girl now?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty rad."

"Rad, wow. You've been spending too much time with Billy. His lameness is wearing off on you."

"Was he always super lame? Like, was I blinded by love and didn't see it?"

"Yeah, he's always been pretty lame."

"Huh, good to know. I mean, he wears it well... it's endearing."

Timmy kissed the top of my head. "I missed you, Lil. I'm such a dick about you and Billy because I missed you. You two will always be a thing, no matter what. I know that. I wish I didn't lose you when you two meltdown."

"Tim," I straightened up again and looked into his eyes with all the deliberateness I could muster. "I really need you to hear this. I'm not making a joke, and I don't want you to either. You're the best friend I've ever had and one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, and most caring humans I have ever encountered. I love you more than I can ever express. When I left, I didn't stay in touch. I will be eternally regretful and sorry for that. I know I have no right to say this, but I'm nearly certain it was much worse for me than for you."

"You don't know that. You weren't here," Tim warned.

"Talk to me now," I prodded.

"I lost both my best friends. I knew Billy had been struggling with Sarah, and that wouldn't last. But you were here, and it felt like I was getting him back, the old him. But then you left, and it just kept getting worse. I had no one to talk to about it."

"What about Tess?" I asked.

"I love Tess, but there are some things, especially about Billy, that it's hard to understand. You get it, but she doesn't always. If she knew half the shit, I've had to put up with..."

"He's afraid of losing you," I offered.

"What?" Tim's eyes snapped to mine.

"He knows he's been spiraling and pushing you away. He also knows that he can't do any of the things without you."

"I don't think he does," Tim admitted.

"He's afraid you're going to quit, Timmy."

"I couldn't quit the studio if I wanted to," Tim murmured.

"He is worried about that, but I think he is more worried that you're going to quit him," I offered.

"He's my best friend," Tim brushed aside.

"And you're his. Anyway, I don't want this to be about Billy," I prodded.

"It's always about Billy. Everything is always about Billy. And when you two bust up again, you'll ditch me too, and it will be because of Billy."

"I know it feels like that, Timmy, and it's not fair, but I'm not going anywhere this time. The only way I'm gone is if Billy tells me to leave, and even then, I'm not losing you."

"He won't leave you. He'd have to get through me before he can make you go anywhere. And Tess. And Mary... I'm her favorite, you know." He pulled me tighter to him for a moment and then added, "so, I'm supposed to take you to spend about seventy grand of Billy's money."

"What?" I pulled away and looked at his face.

"Did you not know how much an A6 costs when you agreed?"

"Right, no, I did. I could buy three and a half cars for that," I grumbled.

"Could you? How does one procure half a car?"

"Shut up! Seriously, they cost seventy grand? That's so ridiculous."

"Yeah, and you agreed to this," Tim noted.

"Hold on." I pulled my phone out and dialed Billy.

"Lil, you have been gone for less than two hours, and this is the second call. I love you and all, but this is getting silly. I told you to stick around here, and you wouldn't miss me."

"I'm hurt," I theatrically moaned.

"What? How? What? I'm on my way. Where is my mom? Is Tim there? What?"

"You deserved that," I added.

"Not cool, Lil. The one time I don't answer the phone in a panic, and you pull that shit. Not cool."

"Can we renegotiate the type of car?"

"Nope, you agreed. It's not my fault you didn't ask any clarifying questions."

"I could buy three and a half cars for the price of this one."

"How do you buy half a car?"

"Ugh, boys!" I grunted.

"He asked about the half car too, huh?" Timmy laughed next to me.

"Seventy fucking grand," I shot again.

"Lil, saying it over and over will change nothing. You agreed. If you don't want the car, then I'm willing to compromise," Billy offered.

"You are?" I was skeptical.

"Of course. If you don't want the Audi, I'll get you a driver."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"If you won't take the car, I'll get you a professional driver."

"So, wait, are you worried about me getting hurt because of my driving skills or other people on the road?"

"Yes," Billy said.

Tim must have expected the answer because, without even hearing it, he let out a laugh.

"I'd just like to point out how much I love you because I'm now going to hang up the phone and let you buy me a seventy-grand car."

"How much you love me? I feel like that shows how much I love you," Billy argued.

"Nope, you can't buy love."

"Right, but you can buy safety for the things you love."

"Fine, Billy, while we're out, we can also get me fitted with my very own bubble, so nothing can ever hurt me again."

"Lily, don't be like this."

"No, no. You're right; I agreed."

"Lily..." there was a hint of exhaustion in Billy's voice.

"Billy, it's fine. I only have one more thing to add."

"Okay, Lil, what is it?"

"I love you with my whole heart. Please hurry with the bathroom. I miss you."

The rush of breath that Billy had been holding in coursed over the receiver of his phone. "I love you, Lil. Come here once you've picked up the car. We should be done unless I have more distractions this morning."

"No more distractions from me. I'll see you soon."