Chapter 26

The tension was thick from the second Billy arrived with the kids for dinner. Billy and Viv were both on edge because of Viv's impending leap into dating. Billy and I were awkward at how to interact around his kids. It made the meal quiet and littered with cumbersome starts and stops. We were all relieved when Mary popped up and cleared the table.

"Okay," Billy sighed to Viv, "you sure you don't want to just hang out with us tonight?"

"Dad!" Viv chided. "You promised you'd be cool too," she reminded.

"And I reminded you I'm always cool," he shot back. "I'll get you that pony," he added in a lower voice.

Viv's only response was a glare.

"Okay, no pony." He threw his hands up in defeat. "Have I ever been uncool?" He argued.

"Yes! Okay, since you asked..." Viv began, "no stories that you think are adorable, but are actually cringy; no 'when I was young stories'; no jokes; and do not call me Little Ghost."

"Don't call you Little Ghost?" There was a hint of hurt in his voice that made me wince for him.

"Not in front of Chris!" Viv exclaimed.

"Fine, why don't I stay mute the whole time? I'm nothing more than the hired help," Billy lamented.

"That'd be amazing," Viv eagerly agreed.

"Ouch, Viv. I was kidding. I'm your dad, not hired help."

But Viv didn't notice the hurt tone of Billy's voice; her mind was whirling through her anxiety about the date. Billy's eyes caught mine for a moment, and all I could do was give him a sympathetic shrug.

"Billy, I was hoping Lily and I could put up the last holiday decorations tomorrow. Do you mind showing her where the lasts of the boxes are?" Mary absently asked as she packed away the leftovers, but I knew what she was doing. She was building an alibi for Billy and me to have a moment.

"Yeah," Billy said, still dejected from Viv. His mind was in complete turmoil at the possibility that he may not be the only man in his daughter's life for much longer.

I followed him in silence down to the basement and to a back corner. Billy began to knock around the boxes, looking for one that was not empty.

"I think she may have lost it; she has all the decorations up already."

"Billy, she knows they're all up." I gently spoke as I let a hand fall to his arm. His eyes first fell on my touch and then lifted to my eyes. "How are you doing?"

He sighed as he turned and let his hands fall to my hips. "I know I want her to grow up and have all these experiences, but I also really don't want her to grow up and have all these experiences."

"I know." I lifted to my toes so I could wrap my arms around his neck as he let out another big sigh while melting into me. "It'll be fine," I promised.

"She's embarrassed by me. She doesn't want me to talk at all. She doesn't even want me around."

Billy's words sunk into me as I recalled similar moments from my youth. When I was a kid, I didn't think of what it felt like when I pulled away from my parents' comfort and flexed my independence, but I was confident that my dad had this exact moment himself.

"As someone that loved their dad as much as Viv loves you, I can tell you that there'll be no one she loves more than you."

"No one?" Billy pulled away and inspected my face.

"Sorry, Hun. You're a close second, but you'll forever be second to my dad."

He pulled me back into a tight hug. "I've never been happier to hear that you love another man more than me."

His words made me smile while stirring a deep sadness that I'd never tell my dad how much I loved him again.

"Come on; you have a milestone to be a part of." I smiled up at him.

Billy let his forehead fall to mine. "I didn't think this would be such a big deal for me, but I'm freaking out," he admitted.

"I know; that's what makes you a good dad."

Billy's hand fell from my back just as we entered the living room.

"Okay, kiddo," Billy said, trying to sound chipper. "You ready for the big night?"

"Yes, but don't call me kiddo," Viv shot as she pulled herself up.

"Have fun," Mary called from the kitchen.

"But not too much fun," Billy mumbled as they headed out the front door.

I flopped on the couch next to Jackson.

"How was your week?" I asked, trying to hide how nervous I was. It was silly to feel nervous around a thirteen-year-old, but this was not just a random teen; this was Billy's son.

"Good," he shrugged.

An awkward feeling clouded us as we both scrambled for something to say.

"Have you ever played Canasta?" Fell out of my mouth before I could catch it.

"Um, no. What's that?"

"It's a card game. Would you be interested in learning?" I asked, hoping for something to keep us busy and fill the awkwardness.

"I'd be interested in playing," Mary said as she sat down with us and tossed two decks of cards on the table.

"Should we wait for Dad to get back?" Jackson considerately asked.

"We can play a couple of practice hands and then really start when he gets back," I suggested.

The three of us settled into the card game. The task at hand seemed to relieve the tension and fill in any gaps in the conversation with Mary's help, of course.

"What are we playing?" Billy asked as he settled in next to me on the couch once he returned. He sat close enough that the cushions bowed us closer together.

"Canasta," Jackson said, still slightly confused by the name.

"That's right," I confirmed for him.

"Ah, I should've known." Billy let out a chuckle as he shifted to lean into the table. Absently, his hand fell to my knee, giving it a quick squeeze. "Are we playing pairs?"

"That was the plan. Jackson, you think you have the hang of it?" I asked as I shuffled the deck.

"Yeah, I think I have a general idea."

"Gentlemen versus ladies?" Billy asked.

"Sure, but what team does that leave you on?" I teased.

"So funny, Lil. If only Tim were here to be six with you," Billy jokingly grumbled as he picked up the cards and dealt. "So, Jackson, how was your week?"

"Good." Jackson reluctantly answered as he watched the cards glide across the coffee table.

"Any big plans this weekend?" Billy continued.

"No, not really," Jackson murmured again.

"What are your big plans, Billy?" I asked.

Billy inspected his cards as he thought. "I have a couple of things around the house to do, but not much." As he spoke, his eyes lifted to mine. "Hey, are you looking at my hand?"

"Dear, we can all see your hand; you're supposed to tip them up to hide them from people," Mary offered, pulling laughs from Jackson and me.

After a few hands and leisurely chatter, Mary announced her need for popcorn.

"I'll help!" I eagerly offered.

"How do you like Canasta?" Billy's voice came low from behind us as Mary and I headed to the kitchen.

"It's cool, I guess," Jackson mumbled.

"So," Mary began as she pulled the popcorn from the cupboard, "when are you two planning on telling the kids?"

"We want to ease them in slowly," I added as I slid onto a stool at the island. "What do you think?"

"I think you two don't hide who you are, so don't wait too long," Mary chuckled, pulling a warmth to my cheeks.

"How do you think they'll react?"

"They'll have opinions, but if their dad is happy, they'll be happy."

"What's the deal with..." but I let my words drop out.

Mary paused her work and gazed at me.

"Sarah?" I let out with a wince.

"Oh, Sarah," Mary sighed. "What has Billy said?"

"Not a lot," I sighed. "I should be patient and wait for him to talk to me. I'm sorry."

Mary smiled. "You are good for him." She didn't wait to see the flush fill my face again; she just turned back to her popcorn. 

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