In far too easy of a manner, Billy convinced me that my bra and panties were equal to a bikini, which could have been true if not for my affinity for sheer lace underwear, which I suspected Billy recalled. Even more, I picked red because it was Billy's favorite color. I looked at myself in the mirror and knew we were too weak to resist this challenge. I also stamped down my growing anxiety to decide that I didn't care.

"Holy shit, it's so cold out here," I sped my pace to the steaming hot tub.

I had planned a sexy reveal, but freezing temps thwarted my plans. Instead, I threw the towel down and plunged into the warm water as quickly as possible, eliciting Billy's loud, gruff laugh.

"Way to suck the sexy out of that moment," he added from across the dancing vapors of the water.

"Me? Blame your Duluth December!"

"Hey, leave Duluth out of this," he teased with a splash. "Besides, I got enough of a look," he added with a wink. "Did you wear red for me?"

"Billy! When did you get so vulgar?"

"Oh, around the time you professed your undying love for me."

"Wow, pretty quick to turn that into a joke." I raised an eyebrow at him.

He pulled me closer to him. "Lil, we've been at this for twenty years. Nothing we do has a quick turnaround." As he spoke, his eyes flickered down.

"Hey, eyes up top," I asserted.

"Babe, it's not my eyes you should be worried about right now." He laughed as he pulled me more to his lap.

I sighed and let my head drop to his shoulder. "This is nice. Does it help your back?"

"I guess. Who knows? Having some resemblance of self-awareness when I play is the best medicine.

"I can give you another back rub later if you want."

"I'll never turn down a back rub."

We sat there with the quiet hum of the tub and steam surrounding us. Billy's back deck looked over a field that led to a wooded area. It was all covered with white snow that glowed beneath the winter moon.

"Logistics," I finally murmured.

"Mmhmm, I was thinking about that too. Would you be okay with moving to Duluth, or should we figure out splitting time?"

"You'd split time?" I lifted my head from his shoulder to meet his eyes.

"Yeah, of course. I have the kids Sunday afternoons to Tuesday morning and every other weekend."

"That'd be so much flight time," I shook my head. "I should just move here."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to make such a big sacrifice."

"Billy, more of my life is here than there now."

"But you love Portland. It's such a part of you, of us." There was a hint of sadness in his eyes at the idea of me moving from Portland that touched something deep inside me.

"It's not going anywhere. We can keep my condo. I'm sure I'll have to fly in for work a couple of times a month."

He pulled me in tighter as I spoke, and a soft smile tipped his lips.

"What?" I let out a laugh.

"You said we could keep your condo," he smiled.

I let out another laugh. "I love you." And I absently leaned in for a kiss. It was quick and familiar, not doing justice to the ten-year gap since our last kiss, but fitting for the moment. I dashed past the moment, as the thought of being physical with Billy returned the nervous energy I had buried deep within me. "I have to find a place here. I can't keep imposing on your mother."

"Well, you can; she loves it. But I'm sure you don't want to. You can move in here."

"No, I can't," I immediately argued.

"What? Of course, you can; why wouldn't you?"

"Uh, your kids," I fought.

"Lil, they're going to have to get used to you."

"First, no, they don't have to get used to me. Please don't force me on your kids. It's not fair to them, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to me. You and I have twenty years of history, but I'm a stranger to them."

"Okay, okay, agreed." Billy stifled my ranting. "But I don't want you to buy a place. That feels like you have one foot out of the relationship before we've even started."

"Well, I have to live somewhere."

Billy sighed and let his head fall back to the edge of the hot tub. "What if we buy a place together? I put the down payment down; you pay the monthly mortgage."

"Billy, when was the last time you had a mortgage?"

"It's been a minute," he admitted with a sheepish grin. "But I figured you wouldn't let me buy a place for you."

"You figured right."

"I could get you an office at the studio," he added in an even tone.

"I could just work from home," I absently spoke as I sunk back into his chest.

"I know, but if you got cabin fever, you could have an office. We have plenty."

"Billy, do you want me to have an office at the studio?"

"I just thought I'd still get to see you when the kids were home."

"But we'd be at work, so it's not like we would see that much of each other."

"True, but it's better than nothing. I don't want to go three days without seeing you, even in the short term." His eyes were wide as he looked me over.

"Yeah, we've never spent that long apart."

"Oh, who is joking too soon now, Lil?" He teased as he splashed me again.

"Hey, we're talking about buying places and working together on a first date- the too-soon ship has sailed."

"I'm going to ask you to marry me, Lil," his voice came as a warning.

"I'm going to say yes, Billy."

He stared at me for a moment as the interaction washed over him. "I have a tour planned after the holidays."

"How does that work with the kids?"

Something close to anger washed over Billy's face. "Two weeks on the road, two weeks home with the kids. It's in our custody agreement for when either of us works."

"Billy, what's wrong?"

He pulled me closer to his chest. "Not tonight, Lil. We don't need to solve the world's problems tonight. I recall a promise of a back rub, so maybe we can solve my back problems tonight."

"I don't think I'm that skilled," I smiled.

"I should warn you, now that you're wet, the walk inside is... uncomfortable." There was a chuckle in Billy's tone.

"What if my feet freeze on the deck?"

"Your feet won't freeze to the deck," he laughed.

"Do you know that? Are you 100% certain that my feet won't freeze on the deck? Imagine how guilty you'll feel if it happens."

"I know this is a ploy for me to carry you inside, but the joke is on you; I was already planning on carrying you in." He looped his arms beneath me. "On three: one, two," but he didn't wait for the three.

He lifted me from the soothing warmth of the water into the frigid air of the night. The cold stole my voice. I couldn't have screamed if I wanted to. Billy burst through the door to the warmer air of the house and kicked the door shut behind him, but he didn't pause. He paced through the house, ensuring my feet and head didn't hit any passing doorways. Billy only set me down when we had reached his bed. He pulled the blanket from the end and wrapped it around me.

"Did you survive?" Billy called over his shoulder as he headed to the bathroom.

"Barely." I shivered in the blanket as he tossed me a towel.

He slipped away and returned a few minutes later in dry clothes.

"Dry clothes; must be nice," I grumbled.

"I can think of a way to warm you up," Billy teased as he flopped down on the bed and pulled me to him.

"Billy, this is our first date."

"Lil, twenty years." His lips dropped to my neck.

"I'm nervous," I admitted.

He froze his kisses and immediately pulled away. "Because of me?"

"Yes," I dropped my face from embarrassment.

"Shit, Lil. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pressure you."

"No, I love you, and I don't feel pressure. I'm just really nervous."

"Okay." he pulled himself up and opened a drawer, pulling out a white t-shirt and pair of boxers before tossing them to me. "Let me know when you're decent," he added as he turned his back to me, busying himself with the fireplace.

I pulled off my wet clothes and pulled on the dry ones he had tossed me. "Decent," I called out.

"I'm sorry," Billy said again as he tentatively paced to the bed.

"I thought we weren't apologizing to each other?" I crawled to him and curled into his chest.

"Yeah, well, once again, I'm proven incorrect."

"And for the record, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I said I was nervous." I let my hand run over his chest and down his rib cage. His skin pricked with goosebumps as my hand moved.

"Why are you nervous?" His hand smoothed over my hair.

"I don't know. It matters more now, and it's been a minute since we've... you know. What if you don't like it anymore?"

A laugh erupted from Billy's chest. "Don't like it. Lil, I named it."

"Yeah, you did. How can I live up to that? I'm not twenty anymore."

"And I'm not twenty-five anymore. If anyone should be worried, it should be me and my pasta pouch."

"But I love your pasta pouch." I smiled as I patted it.

"Lil, we can go slow. We have all the time in the world." He pulled me closer to him.

"I love you so much." I sighed as I melted into his body heat before propping my chin on his chest. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Yes, I've wanted nothing more in my entire life."

He pulled me up to his body and dipped his lips to me. The sweet, pungent taste of the Champagne still lingered on his lips as they twisted with mine, sending alluring surges coursing through me to my toes. My heartbeats got drowned out by our labored breaths. My body melted further into his as his fingertips dug into the small of my back. He stiffened slightly as he tried to will himself to pull away, but I clung to him harder, not wanting the connection to be severed. He pulled away just enough, but I wanted more of him. I trailed my lips down his neck and across his collarbone as a guttural groan rolled from his throat.

"Lil," he managed in barely a creaking whisper. "Lil, please stop. I'm a very weak man around you, and you just said you wanted to go slow."

I slumped to his chest before he shifted me to the less lurid position tucked to his side.

"What time do you need to be back in the morning?" Billy attempted to diffuse the moment with the benign.

"That depends. Do you want to do the walk of shame in front of your mom?"

"Me, no. I planned on kicking you out at the bottom of the driveway."

"You wouldn't dare." I lifted my face to catch his expression as it passed.

"True." He smiled. "I'm not worried about my mom. She honestly would be madder at me if I had dropped you off early."

"That's probably true."

"Does she make you breakfast in the morning?"

"Yep, every morning. It's a wonder I'm not two hundred pounds."

"You could use a few more pounds." He pinched my side. "I could use a decent breakfast in the morning. What time should I set the alarm for?"

"Let's shoot to get to your mom's at 7 am, so I can shower before work."

"Done." He set the alarm on his phone and tossed it to the nightstand before curling around me and settling deeper into the pillows. "Goodnight, Lil," he smiled before kissing my temple.

"Goodnight, Billy. I love you." I nestled into his arms.

"I love you too."

I lay there in the embrace, listening to his breath and feeling the rise and fall of his chest. I closed my eyes as I tried to memorize everything about the moment: the weight of his arms around me, the faint smell of the hot tub water on our skin, and the feeling of his baggy t-shirt and boxers on me.

"Are you asleep?" Billy whispered behind me.

"No," I whispered back.

"Why can't you sleep?"

"I'm trying to memorize everything about this moment."

My words made Billy pull me tighter to his chest. "That was a better line than I had. I was going to say I'm too excited."

I let out a laugh. "What are you excited about?"

"That you're here. This is happening. A future is happening."

"I hope so. What could derail us?"

"Bulletproof," Billy murmured.

"Oh, now we're screwed."

"I thought we were going slow."

"Not funny, Billy."

"It was a little funny," he said as he sunk back into his pillow, letting his arms relax around me again. "Sleep," he murmured.