"Are burritos still your go-to?" Billy asked via text.

The texts spilled back and forth throughout the first half of the week as we caught up.

"Yes, and no. I still love a good burrito, but my go-to lunch is now a cold cut Bahn Mi sandwich from this little shop by my office in Portland."

"Just looked that up; I thought you didn't like cilantro?"

"Oh, right; I ask them to hold the cilantro. You still like pad Thai and hate all things avocado?"

"Yep. Can you believe this avocado toast bullshit? What kind of person thinks mashing avocado on toast is good?"

"Hey, I like avocado toast," I defended.

"What the fuck is wrong with peanut butter, or butter, or jam? Did we need more toast toppings?"

"Apparently, we did."

A few hours later, I picked up my phone and laughed as I texted, "I don't eat Twizzlers anymore."

"Really? Why not?" Billy shot back a half-hour later.

"I found out they are dyed red using dead flies and fly eggs."

"I can't wait to tell Viv and Jackson that little nugget."

I laughed out loud at his response.

"So, what's the go-to candy now? Whoppers by default?"

"Yep. Did you know that my dad always had Whoppers on him?"

"I did not. That on the surface seems odd but also feels slightly genius."

"You pretty much just wrote my dad's biography right there: on the surface, he was odd, but also slightly genius. Also, when I was sick as a kid, he would bring me home Werther's Originals."

"I must have known that because I always pick those up for the kids, too. I've wondered where that came from." I smiled that he was carrying on the tradition as his subsequent text dinged. "I'm heading into record, so my phone will be off. I'll call you later. Call the studio if you need me. They can break into the session."

I texted an 'I love you" before I caught myself and sent a thumbs up instead.

It must have been a successful session because my phone didn't ring until Mary and I were picking up from dinner.

"Go," she shooed with a twinkle in her eye.

"Hey," I answered on the way to my office.

"Hey, how was your day?" His voice was casual, with a hint of bubbling excitement.

"Good, how was yours?"

"Good. Tim's still on me about us."

"I think he's just not speaking to me; maybe I'll call him later," I spoke more to myself. "Are you on your way home?"

"Yep, heading home to another evening of Viv talking about Chris. I'm concerned that she is studying him more than for her finals."

"First boyfriends are fun." I smiled at the bubbling feeling that felt dangerously close to how I felt every time I thought of my upcoming date with Billy.

"I have big plans for tomorrow; you aren't getting cold feet, right?" Billy asked.

"Nope, avocado toasty warm over here. What time are you picking me up?"

"Does seven work for you? I wonder if my mom will give us a curfew?"

"Who would she give the curfew to, you or me?"

"Knowing her, both of us," Billy let out a throaty laugh. "I'm pulling up to the house. I'll text you goodnight."

"Sounds good. Have fun with the Chris talk."

"Thanks," he laughed before hanging up.

I let a blissful sigh escape me. We were doing this right; it was going to work. I was in a good spot; he was in a good spot; it was time. But I knew there were a million roadblocks I was ignoring. So, I called Tim to point them all out.

"Lilith," he answered in a comically formal manner.

"Timothy," I matched his tone. "Lilith is not my full name. Lily is my full name. Lilith is a biblical demon."

"If the horns fit."

"I take it you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you. I'm frustrated that you are making all the same mistakes again."

"Am I? What mistakes are those?"

"You and Billy don't work," he shot.

"And that's because of movies?" I tried to hide the mocking in my voice, but was unsuccessful.

"No, but they certainly are a trigger." If words could shrug, his did as he gave up the formal facade. "Lil, I don't want to go through this again. You and Billy have tried this so many times."

"We have," I agreed.

"And you always end up hurting each other, and, honestly, all of us that care about you too."

"I know, Timmy. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run away from you and Tess and Mary. I just, I don't know... I didn't think I'd be strong enough to stay away from Billy if we were still close, and I needed that time."

"Why? Why did you need that time, and what's different now?"

"Well, I'm old, and my options are limited, so I guess I'm ready to settle." I tried to keep my voice smooth and stifle my laugh.

"Hilarious, but I'm serious. What's different this time?"

"Honestly, Timmy, I'm different. I was afraid I'd get rolled up into Billy's Billy-ness and lose my path. I've walked that path now. I have the career I wanted, that I love. It's time to come home. I'm just lucky that he's still single."

"He's different now, Lil. That last time you left, you took that optimistic Billy with you," Tim's voice was grave with a warning.

"I know he's different, but I don't think I took his optimism. Maybe I took his willingness to give up his heart easily, but I still see the optimism in him. He kept that with Viv and Jackson."

Tim sighed. "I don't want to lose you again, Lil. And I don't want to lose Billy again."

"We're going slow. We know that there's a lot to catch up on."

"Lil, I love you, but I don't believe for a second that you'll be able to go slow. You'll probably be married by Christmas and divorced by the New Year."

"Timmy, we're adults; we can control ourselves," I argued.

"Okay, whatever you say." He clearly didn't believe me.

"Well, I should go. I have a big day tomorrow. I just wanted to make sure you weren't too mad at me."

"Lil, I love you, and I love Billy. I want what's best for you both, and I don't think you belong together. I mean, I used to; I was rooting for you guys but after that last break-up... Just think about what I said and be careful."

"I will, Timmy. And I love you too."

The next day, I buzzed through my morning meetings with an energetic zip, and only part of it was due to three cups of coffee. The hours were ticking closer and closer to seven. Nervous energy coursed through me. A date with Billy Collins. Would it be an actual date? How could it be? Would I have to worry about my photo being splashed across a tabloid? Were there paparazzi in Duluth?

Mid-afternoon, I texted Billy. "What is the dress code for tonight?"

"I would recommend clothes. But I won't judge either way," he quickly shot back.

"Very funny."

"Casual; it's a first date, Lil."

"You say that like I go on them all the time," I laughed as I typed.

"Wear whatever you'd wear out to dinner. It's going to be fun; I promise."

Casual spun in my head. It was such a gray term; what does casual mean? I settled on jeans and a sweater. In my head, I worked through all the sweaters I had brought and managed not to stain in the week and a half since I had been in Duluth. My options were a burgundy one or a white one. Given my panache for spilling, I went with burgundy.

"You look beautiful." Mary smiled as I joined her in the kitchen.

"Must be weird being on this side of the date. Do you think this Billy Collins is a nice guy?" I teased.

Mary let out a laugh. "I think you're going to have a fun night," she added with a wink.

"I'm nervous," I said with my own laugh.

"Good." She smiled. "He's here," she added, nodding to the window.