I slipped up the stairs without the playing cards, but smiling to myself at the moment I'd just stolen. I knew I should feel guilty, but I'd never felt closer to Billy and my dad. It seemed the cards I weren't needed as the game had already resumed as I settled back into my seat.

"You know," Mary leaned in as she spoke, "I realized I moved the spare cards up here this morning." She gave me a wink to confirm she had set me up.

I shook my head at her craftiness as my phone dinged.

"Office?" Billy was texting me.

A smile spread across my face as I texted, "be right there."

"Excuse me," I murmured as I rose from my chair.

Mary had a satisfied smile, but Tess gave me a cautious look, which I ignored.

"Hey," I said as I shut the office door behind me.

"Hey," he tightly said through a held breath.

Excitement coursed through him and spread to me. I wanted to pace to him and wrap my arms around his neck. I wanted to feel his lips kiss me gently on top of my head. But I resisted. There was still a gap between us. The trying replaced the anger, but we were so far from repair that for a moment, the few feet between us felt like miles, and tears threatened my eyes.

"Hi," I said out of old habit.

A laugh erupted from his chest, diffusing his held breath. "There's my Lil."

"I have to tell you something, and it might make you mad," I admitted.

"Already? What in hell have you done already?" The jesting was draining from his voice with every word reminding me of the thin line we were still walking between mending and total destruction.

"I was looking for a deck of cards, and Mary thought they were in the basement," I began.

"Mom," Billy groaned as his hands rose to his head. "How much did you hear?"

"I heard about Chris." I raised my eyebrows at him.

He sighed as he flopped down on the couch. "You're fighting for us?"

"Until death."

"We're not friends," he cautioned.

"We never were," I agreed.

He sucked in a heavy breath and let the words fall from his lips. "What do we think of Chris?"

"I suspect we think Viv likes him, and you trust her judgment," I offered as I slumped down next to him.

"She does, and I do," he admitted.

"You're something with her," I said as I bumped my shoulder into him. I needed contact, and the friendly gesture felt safe.

"Don't tell Tim, but she's my best friend," he smiled.

I had to stifle an audible 'aw.' "She's a lucky kid." I felt a pang from the hole my father left. "Tell me about Jackson."

"Unfortunately, he's a lot like his dad; he's shy, quiet, uncertain of everything."

"He'll find his way. His dad is a pretty good person to be like."

"Do you think he has his eye on anyone?"

"I'm sure, and I'm certain many have their eyes on him."

"Really? He's so shy." Billy let a hand fall casually to my lap, causing a soar of delight through me.

"I speak from experience when I say it's a shy and quiet Collins boy is hard to resist," I teased as I let his hand mingle with mine. It was bold, but I needed it. I needed to be knotted with him.

"He doesn't talk to me like Viv," Billy admitted.

"I think the father/son dynamic is just different from the father/daughter dynamic. And let's face it, you've raised yourself a daddy's girl." I squeeze his hand.

"I learned from the best." He swiped his free hand at my legs and looped them over his lap. "How are you doing?"

I savored the moment. We had been entwined with each other many times, and I never relished it. I wouldn't take this moment for granted. I wouldn't ignore the luxury of his arms welcoming me to him; his eyes focused on me.

"What?" His head cocked to the side as he inspected me closer.

I fought the urge to blurt out how much I loved him, how much I needed him, and how much this small moment repaired broken bits of me I thought had been lost. But instead, I offered a shy "thinking."

"Are you okay, Lil? Really, how are you?"

"Okay, I'm finding my dad more and more. I know it was wrong to eavesdrop on you and Viv, but it made me feel closer to him," I confessed.

"My mom is a cunning woman," he murmured as my head dropped to his shoulder. I felt his lips hit the crown of my head as warmth erupted through my body.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"Did you only hear about Chris?"

"Um," I hesitated, "I may have gotten there a bit before that started."

"Mmhmm, so you heard my highs and lows." There was a tease in his voice that set me at ease. "Despite all the destruction we've caused, I always feel different when you are around."

"Is it a buzzing in your chest? Mine is a buzzing in my chest." It was a question I had been pondering for twenty years.

"No, it's more of a wholeness for me. Even though I know you can rip me apart at any moment, there's a soothing aspect to you being around."

"Where do we keep going wrong, Billy?"

"Lil, if I knew, we'd be in the middle of our happily ever after."

"I want that. I want a happily ever after, and I want it with you. I want to fight for it." I lifted my face to his.

He stared down at me; his face close. "You've never said that before. You always wanted quiet or a career or that pancake Sam."

"Hey, come on now. We both have exes," I chided. "I want to fight for you this time. I have the career I wanted. I feel like I won't get lost in your wake. I want to make this work, but I don't even know where to start. There is just so much scarring. And..." I sighed. "Timmy."

Billy groaned, "has he been on it with you too?"

"Yeah, he seems to think movies have something to do with our breakups."

"I know," Billy groaned again. "Sometimes he's the worst. I half expect him to come bursting in here and break us apart like a grumpy old man." Billy laughed at his thought. "But another good friend gave me some advice today."

"Yeah, what was that?"

"Lily, will you go on a date with me?"

His eyes peered down at me with an openness I hadn't seen in over twenty years. Billy Collins was asking me to go on a date. I made a mental note to thank Tess.

"Depends. Is it a group date or one-on-one?" I teased.

I've earned a one-on-one date for time served. As he spoke, he dipped his face close to me so I could feel his words course over my neck, and then to himself, he added, "strawberries."

"But how can we go on a date? You always say how people bother you. You think we can walk into a restaurant or bowling alley and have a regular date?"

"Dinner and bowling; I'll figure that out. All you need to do is say yes. Go on a date with me; Wednesday night," he prodded as his youthful optimism filled his face.

"Yes."

"You said yes," he smiled down at me.

"I said yes; of course, I said yes. A date, you and me, Wednesday night. You bring the bells, and I'll bring the brass nobs."

Billy let out a laugh. "I missed random references to archaic sayings."

"You're an archaic saying."

"And there's the Tim in you." He kissed my forehead. "Date, Wednesday. We're doing this right." He lifted my legs off his lap before adding, "so don't tempt me."

"Me? Tempt you? You're the one that is all you-ish," I shot at him.

"Me-ish. What does that even mean?" He laughed.

"Oh, you know what it means. You're all giving me those glances with dimples and then looking away. And this," I tapped his stomach.

"I'm sorry. Are you saying my excess belly fat is alluring to you?"

"It's so freaking cute; I want to wrap my arms around you at all times like a big teddy bear. You have to remember; I'm from the Northeast, hurricane country. We like sturdy men."

"Should I be worried about Tim's added physique stealing your attention?"

"Ew, Billy, that's just gross." I shoved his shoulder away as I spoke.

"Well, you're very you-ish." He let a finger glide down the side of my face. "I don't know how, but you look like the same girl I met twenty years ago, and you still take my breath away." His hand slipped to my neck, cupping it tenderly.

"Too close," came from the door. "Get away from each other, or I'll get the hose," Tim added.

"Tim, stop. Nothing is happening." Billy let his hand drop from me.

"Lies! I saw you two at lunch, those annoying stolen glances followed by innocent blushing. It was so damn cute that it made me want to hurl. You two are to be chaperoned at all times. I'm talking about middle school dance rules. If an oversized balloon can't fit between you, you're too close."

"Timmy," I soothed as I heaved myself up.

"No, Lil; don't Timmy me. You two bust up, and I lose one of my favorite people for years. Ten years Lil, I lost you for ten years. I like having you around. As annoying as you are, I like it. And you," he turned to Billy, "I'm not cleaning you up after her again. It's not happening. You've been in a shitty mood for a decade, and this will only make it worse. You two hate each other. Life is better for Tim that way. So, resign yourselves to a strained, distant relationship."

"Tim!" Tess scolded from behind him.

"Them," he stammered at her. "Not Tim, them!"

"Tim, this is none of your business," she argued.

"None of my business!" Tim began.

Billy leaned in close as Tim and Tess argued back and forth, "it's weird watching mom and dad fight."

I bit my cheek to stifle the laugh, which was even more difficult when Billy pinched the spot on my side that tickled in such a way that it would always make me crumble in laughter.

"We're going to leave you two to what I can only assume is foreplay," Billy added as he held out a hand to pull me to his side. "Enjoy," he patted Tim on the shoulder as he tugged me out of the room, shutting the door behind us. Then he stopped short, so I crashed into his frame.

"Lil," he was close now; I could feel his heart beating. "We're doing this right. We'll date, fight, and figure it out, but we won't run. We'll take it slow. But I need one moment." He rested his head on mine and closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath.

"I missed you, Billy."

"I missed you, Lily."

"Thank you," I murmured.

"I haven't done anything," he whispered.

"You've done everything."

"Tell me again why this time is different..." he prodded.

"Because this time is forever," I reminded him.

And then we ricocheted apart.