I wake up to the sound of voices coming from downstairs.

Why can't I just wake up to something normal?

I slowly get up as the sharp pain attacks my head and ribs, bringing in memories of the events that occurred last night. Oh crap! This shit really hurts.

I hope I was able to gain Jay's trust yesterday.

Shut up now! I thought to myself. I can't even recognize the voices of those screaming.

Except the one of Jay's and the other one seems to sound like a little girl's voice.

"I swear to God if I hear you scream again, I'll help Dennis accomplish his mission by putting a bullet through your head myself, Jay!".

I say shouting at the top of my voice, causing me to groan in pains and the atmosphere in the environment becomes serene.

"Thank you"

I say barely whispering after the environment became peaceful.

I move to the bathroom and there, I begin to slowly peel the clothes away from my body.

Stark naked, I stare at myself but the only thing catching my eye right now is the tattoo below my full breast.

The tattoo is not in any shape or drawing, but it's in a curvy writing.

The writing is a name and the name written  is 'Alan'.

Just one word that I can die for. Ah geez! I'm just a hopeless secret admirer.

I've somehow managed to keep it hidden from Alan for two years now.

Yep, that's right, I got it when I was sixteen. Which was a very "almost impossible" mission. I had to lie to the man that I was eighteen.

Of course it was difficult, he actually refused to give me the tattoo even after I promised to give 800 bucks until I brought out my dagger and placed it across his throat.

Yup I was that desperate. Alan and Jon says that a desperate Jem is worse than an angry Jem and that's gotta tell a lot coz when I'm angry, I get what I want by all means. 

It's the only tattoo on my body.

People think the half shaped heart on my left wrist is a tattoo but I swear it's not!

It's a birth mark. I have one half of it and 'He' has the other half.

If only.... Ah never mind.

My stomach rumbles as the scent of scrambled eggs wafts through the air and into my nose, thereby bringing me to the realization that I have been standing in front of the mirror for close to half an hour.

I enter the bath with the intention of hurrying up but the warm inviting water says other wise.

I spend close to an hour and half there and I think I'd have spent more if Jay hadn't threatened to come in and drag me to the living room with or without my clothes on.

Now, with the towel wrapped around my body, I stand in front of my wardrobe contemplating what to put on.

I'm not a skirt or dress person... I don't even have any skirt or dress.

I'm tired of putting on dungarees.
I decide to put on a black bum short and a matching black tank top.

I decide to let my full, long, black  hair loose. I need a hair cut. This hair is way too long for my control.

I take a glance at myself in the mirror and concluding I'm good to go, I move downstairs.

In the living room,  Dimitri's head is resting upon Anita's laps as they watch wrestling.

That( the wrestling) definitely peeks my interest but as I move  to join them, my stomach rumbles for the fourth time today.

Food is more important, those wrestlers won't put food in my stomach and none of them looks like my Roman Reigns.

So I change my direction towards the kitchen and I'm cut off guard by the laughers of a little girl.

As the girl comes into view, I gasp,  causing her attention to divert to me.

She looks just like Jay. From the awesome black hair, to the slightly pointed nose, to the absolutely defined complexion and not to mention her exotic beauty.  This girl has got a killer look. Too bad she's just a kid.

"Are you mourning? "

She asks pointing at the  color of my outfit.

From her purple dressing, I can tell she hates black.

"Yes, yes I am? "

I can see that she was definitely not expecting my reply.

"Is this the girl you told me about Jay? "

It was at that moment I realized that Jay was there.

I pretend to blush as our gaze meet and he nods answering his sister.

"Oh my goodness! She is so pretty, I like her already!"

She squeals with excitement as she jumps down from the counter with so much energy and vigor a child could possibly mutter.

She walks up to me and tug at my shorts, indicating for me to bend down.

I look at Jay for help but he just shrugs telling me that I'm on my own. I slowly bend to her eye level and she takes me by surprise by engulfing me in a hug.

I hesitate a while before hugging her back. She breaks the hug before saying;

"Thank you so much for saving my brother's life, he is the only family I got"

I couldn't speak, I just nod and she continues but this time around looking at her brother.

"Promise me Jason that you'll never ever leave me"

"But I have! ",  Jay replies whining.

They continue going back and forth but I loose interest.

My head begins to ache and the room seems to spin all around.

I slowly back out of the room as I remember what the little girl said;

"Promise me Jason that you'll never ever leave me"

I said those words too. But not to Jay, but to 'him'.

But even after 'he' promised me, he still left.

I unlock my room door and immediately I'm inside I lock it back and collapse on the floor.

'He' promised me he was never going to leave me but 'he' left.

I know it wasn't 'his' fault it was the fault of Mr and Mrs Valerian.

They saw how much we cared for each other and they tore us apart.

When I had found out what they had done, I had vowed to myself that I'll make sure that no one get separated from their loved one. 

And here I am doing the exact opposite. I have taken the lives of a hundred people leaving behind their family miserable.

Do I regret it? Not a single bit!

But now, I won't be able to murder Jay. If I do, then his sister might turn out just like...  Me!

I won't do it,  I can't do it anymore. I'll meet Dimitri and tell him what I said about Jay molesting me was all a lie.  Yes, he tried to finger me but I stopped it.

My stomach rumbles again and I check the clock. This is just few minutes past noon.

I've lost all form of appetite.

Just as I'm about to get up from the floor, a knock comes in.

I get up and grant Dimitri entrance.

"Why are you here? "

Not looking up, he says
"Anita noticed you haven't had breakfast, so she says to ask what you'll have for lunch instead "

"Tell her thanks for the concern but I'm not hung..."

"What the fucking fuck happened to you? Why are you crying? ", he asks after looking at my face.

I raise my hand to touch my face and true to his words I'm crying hell. Gosh! How long have I been crying?

"Oh my gosh! How long have you been crying? Your eyes are swollen! Talk to me"

"It's... "

"Jay. It's Jay again isn't it? "

"No it's... "

"That son of a bitch better be prepared for what's coming "

He says barging out of my room before I can say anything.

Oh no! He's going to confront Jay. What do I do?

Should I come out clean? Should I not come out clean?

I rush out of the room and down the flight of stairs.

"Don't tell me you don't know the fuck of what I'm talking about"

Dimitri's raised voice literally shakes the building.

"Alexa, go to my room and lock the door, no peeking or eavesdropping, big brother wants to talk business"

He says firm yet gentle as well. And the little girl obeys.

"Dimitri, I don't fucking understand what you are saying!"

I look at Anita and she raises her eyebrow in question. I shake my head and mouth 'help me! "

She motions for me to hold on with her hand.

"Stop acting like you don't understand ",  Dimitri asks completely oblivious of me and Anita's little exchange.

"I'm not acting, I truly don't understand what you're talking about" Jay replies also oblivious of me and Anita's banter.

"Then I'm going to ask you once; did you or did you not molest Jemima? "

Jay looks at me and I  shake my head but he doesn't seem to understand. I look at Anita and her eyes seem to reassure me.

"What! No! I'd... "
Jay began...

"Shut the fuck up! Your hesitation is enough for me to doubt anything that will come out of that bull shit you call mouth"

Before anyone can grasp anything, Jay is on Dimitri, landing his fist right in Dimitri's guts. Anita doubles over in pain.

She seems to be affected by the so called mate bond.

"Jay stop", I whisper shakily...

But my words seem to have no effect...

I rush to the kitchen counter and grab the gun I spotted earlier on.

I raise it up and shoot it in the air.  Every where suddenly becomes still as Jay stops punching Dimitri.

I drop the gun and rush to Dimitri's aid ignoring the stares of Jay. His stares are more or less boring holes at my back.

Anita begins to regain her composure as she comes over to help me help Dimitri.

Dimitri groans in pains as we lift him up and take him to the infirmary. We slowly lie him on the bed and I watch as Anita work her magic.

I just stare with teary eye.  This is all my fault. I shouldn't have lied in the  first place. It's very unusual of me to let my emotions get the better of me.

Why exactly was I jealous? What exactly was I jealous of? So Fucking what if he's better than me?  I've got something he'll never have. And that is...  Nothing! I'm just a rape victim, no one can ever love a rape victim.

I've got nothing. I'm all alone in this world. Every human being I've ever loved either left me or betrayed me. It's just me, myself and I in this damn world.

I'm just in love with a guy I can't call mine and he doesn't even know it. He sees me as his little sister and nothing else.

And as for Jay... He's a good kinda bad guy. I'm sure he lives to kill and kills to live.  Just like me.

I bet he is still alive because of Alexa.

"Jemima what's wrong? You're crying!", Anita says sadly.

"Anita forgive me, it's my fault Dimitri is in this condition. When he wakes up, please let him know I'm deeply sorry and... tell him I lied"

I turn around to go but stop and turn back. I run to her and hug her.

"Thanks for everything best friend "

She doesn't say anything. She just hugs me back so tight.

I rush out of the room and I spot Alexa playing in the verandah. I just smile and walk past her to Jay's room.

I enter his room without knocking and I see him sitting on the bed with his head in his hand.

"Jay!", I whisper lightly. He slowly looks up at me with red eyes.

"I hurt my cousin Jem, I hurt him. His parents asked me to look after him not hurt him", he says  looking at his trembling palms.

I gulp and let the tears flow freely.

"I'm sorry Jay! "

"Is that what you told him? That I molested you?".

I purse my lips and nod my head as more tears begin to flow.

"Why? I didn't do that, did I? "

I shake my head and begin to wail.

He just stares at me, waiting for me to talk!

"Oh Jay! Please forgive me"

"Just tell me why you'd lie".

"I was jealous of you! I am still jealous of you. You are the most revered mafia. You have a lovely  house, an intelligent cousin, a beautiful sister, where as I got nothing. All I've loved was taken away from me. No one can ever love a rape victim. That's why and I'm sorry, okay! Really sorry!"

I say slightly yelling.

"I'm confused"

"You should be! I tried to kill you but I realized that I'd have to gain your  trust. The only reason I saved you from Dennis  was because I wanted to be the death of you. And the only reason I changed my mind was because of Alexa".

"Why Alexa? "

"I don't want her to suffer the same fate I did".

I say before leaving the room. I run to my room and quickly pack my things.

I call Alan to let him know I've transferred the money to Jon's account and that I'm killing Dennis today. I also tell him I'm going home.

Not to the home I was raised as an assassin, but to the home where I was betrayed by my own.

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Well... Well... Well...
This is a damn emotional chapter I literally cried while writing  it.
I hope you did too.

So... How was it... Was it good, bad... Awesome 🌟.
Just let me know through the comment box and if there's anything you'd like me to add or deduct...

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