Of course I've heard about Jason's suicide attempt. Everyone who knows him personally is aware of the situation; not the entire world. The media usually know about gossip like this in some way, yet they're not familiar with what could potentially be the biggest story of the year. That's shocking. Either Skeeter pulled strings to keep Jason's condition under wraps, or nobody's bothered to tip them off.

It's been a week since it happened, yet everyone except the people who read the Exposing rats' blog is completely in the dark.

Reli and Skylar have been on my ass because I haven't visited Jason yet. I thought they'd understand. They're in the business. They should get it when I start tour next week.

At least they're not putting all the blame on me. Those Exposing rats claim I drove him to that extreme because of the way I treated him when we were together. Unbelievable! I didn't treat him as terribly as they wrote! I know Jason fell hard, but that doesn't mean everything I said made him go insane. They're just exaggerating the truth!

Yet there's a small voice in my head that's been nagging me. You should really visit him, Marquie. It's the right thing to do. The girls will FINALLY stop bugging you for laying it off! Everyone expects you to see him since you were together.

I don't want to see him alone, so I scroll through my contacts to find someone to tag along for moral support. I wish it could be Lindsay; it makes perfect sense because she's been through so much with us. I can't bring her because she's in Paris...or is she?

I pull up her Instagram to see where her last photo was taken: Charles de Gaulle Airport. The caption says Freddie and she are heading to LA with the twins or a little vacation to visit her sister. She has to be home by now since that was over twenty-four hours ago! Might as well give it a shot.

ME: You're back in LA right? Haven't seen Jase yet. Can you come with me? Don't wanna go alone.

LINDSAY: Sure thing. I'll have Fedez or Lorraine watch the twins. They don't know about it. I'll be there in twenty if traffic cooperates.

***

Being back in Lindsay's convertible feels so right. It's like she never quit! During the drive to the hospital, I couldn't help staring at her locket. Lindsay isn't the type of girl to wear jewelry, even one of those cheap bead bracelets. The beautiful golden locket around her neck is so foreign-looking.

"Tell me how you guys really met and fell in love," I request as we enter the lobby. "I want the full deets on how you and Freddie found each other."

"I can't believe you're still calling him that!" she expresses in disbelief. "Why can't you call him by his real name if you hate his nickname?"

"Freddie's easier to say. His given name is too long. It'd sound stupid coming out of my mouth, anyways. You know I'm horrible at pronouncing foreign names. I sure as hell am NOT handing him the satisfaction of calling him by the same name as that rapper. Now spill!"

She recounts the very first day they met in detail. It's like she's reading a scene from a terrible fan fiction because this story makes Freddie sound like a beautiful celebrity. Her choice of words are iffy. I wouldn't describe him as "broody and mysterious with a dash of schoolboy timidity." Nah. I'd say he's tall, handsome, and annoying as fuck, but it's not my story to tell.

She explains how he never spoke to her in class, but always sat beside her. Lindsay thought it was cute (gag!) that he wasn't pompous and forward. Any other guy would have immediately asked for her number (same), but not Freddie. She liked that. It made him stand out from the douche bags who made her uneasy.

"He approached me near finals," she says. A wide smile forms and she chuckles. "I never thought Fedez would have the guts to ask me out. I waited nearly all semester for that moment! He surprised me."

"You make it sound like he proposed," I scoff. "How inventive do you have to be to get a girl to go out with you? Nils and Jason didn't do anything extravagant when they asked me out."

"You and Jason had a contract. Of course he didn't ask you out like a normal guy. I don't know about Nils, but he doesn't seem like a 'do something special to win a date' type of guy. He seems like a simple dude."

"He is. So...how'd Freddie win you over?" I press, bumping our shoulders together.

"He knew I speak Italian," Lindsay gushes. She giggles like an over-excited school girl. "He said it all in Italian and totally won me over. Once our first date happened, everything just clicked. Fedez took me on a little scavenger hunt that Sofia put together. I learned so much about him because it took us to places that were special to him. At the end of the scavenger hunt, we ended up in his backyard for a beautiful dinner, and Sofia was there to sing for us. It was perfect!"

"You two met before Jason and she doesn't remember that?"

"Slipped her mind. She and Fedez are better now. It took that little memory to convince Sofia that Fedez meant no harm. I can't believe I didn't make the connection sooner. I'm so stupid!"

"Everyone has a brainfart, Linds. It's called being human!" I laugh.

Forget I ever hit on Freddie or wanted him at all. He totally belongs with Lindsay. She seems so happy and in love when she talks about him. I can't imagine her with anyone else. She deserves to feel this way. If it means she has to be with Pipsqueak's brother, so be it. I can't come between them when he makes her feel this way. I'm truly happy Lindsay has found her person. Now he just needs to propose.

Her story nearly made me forget where we are. The nurse telling us that we can see Jason jogs my memory. I don't anticipate this because Jason and I haven't faced each other since last year. I don't know how he'll react when he sees me or what I'll say.

"You ready?" Lindsay asks when we reach his door.

"Yeah," I nervously breathe. "Come with me?"

"Of course. You're shaking like a leaf, Marquie! Are you sure you want to do this now? You can return another day when you're more mentally prepared."

"This is my only chance. Tour starts next week. I set time aside today for this moment. I have to see him. My conscience won't forgive me if I don't."

Lindsay nods and smiles small. She takes my hand and squeezes it, sensing the wave of nerves overtaking my body. I thank her for coming with me and take a deep breath. Lindsay glances at me concerningly. After I shake off my nerves and assure her I'm set to go, she opens the door.

Jason is already awake. His eyes widen upon seeing us enter. Our eyes immediately lock, so I embarrassingly blush. I can't believe the sight of him is making me flustered! I guess I still have some feelings for him, but guilt made me come here.

"Lindsay. Marquilla," he weakly voices, shooting us one of his famous, heart stealing smiles. "You came to see me! I didn't think either of you would."

"I happen to be in the neighborhood," Lindsay explains as she pulls me closer. "After Lorraine told me about what happened, I knew I had to fly over. I-I couldn't believe it, Jason! I thought she was playing a cruel joke on me, but she was serious."

"I uh—I couldn't not see you," I quietly confess, keeping my eyes on my lap because I can't face him. "I've been holding this off because I didn't want to see you like this. Reli and Sklyar egged me on about it, but I couldn't come her alone. I knew I'd lose it. I was also busy with rehearsals, so I—"

"I get it," Jason cuts in. "You don't have to explain, Marquilla. You're here now. That's all that matters."

"Yeah," is all I can say.

Silence fills the air. Since Lindsay and Jason are such good friends, I thought they'd be hammering away, but they're not. Jason knows she has a boyfriend, which is why this silence is so weird. Maybe there's a bigger picture I don't know about yet.

"So you have a boyfriend now," Jason mentions to Lindsay. "It's Sofia's brother, right?"

"Yeah!" Lindsay extols, blushing once again. "Sofia's absolutely buzzing. She thinks he'll propose, but I don't know."

"If he does, Christmas will be interesting for you guys," he laughs. "Lorraine and Audrey are bad enough. Having Sofia over would be a nightmare!"

I draw up the courage to face Jason again. He timidly smiles. I have to admit, he's cute when he's shy. I'm glad he hasn't lost his sense of humor or some of that cheekiness. Jason wouldn't be the same person if he were sad all the time.

"You know, Marquilla, I didn't think you'd ever want to visit," Jason comments. "After I'm done here, I'm heading to the hospital to treat my depression. I thought I'd serve my time there before I'd see your face again, Marquie."

"Why?" I firmly demand. "Did you think I completely hate your guts?"

"Well...yeah. You said you didn't want anything to do with me anymore and you never really liked me. I poured my entire heart and soul out to you, Marquilla! I tried everything I could to impress you, and I even professed my love for you~ I didn't want to believe the girls on that blog b—"

"WHAT BLOG?" I spit, now glowering. "What blog have you been reading that talks about me?"

The fearful look in his eyes says it all—he's keeping tabs on those Exposing rats. I don't understand how he'd know about the blog when he was so busy last year. I can't believe this!

"It's called Exposing MG. They started emailing me one day," he explains. "They sent me a link to their blog, so I checked it out. I thought it was a joke, but what they wrote sounded real. The post on our contract did it for me."

"They sound smart," Lindsay chimes in. "They contacted Jason because they wanted to help him. Maybe they were just looking out for him."

"They could totally be punking you," I shrug. "You know how people like to distort the truth. You better look out, Jase. It could be a trap."

"Wait, you've never read that blog?" Lindsay questions, pretending to sound shocked for Jason's benefit. "They did a post about your Dubai trip. That was pretty entertaining. It made me wish you brought me!"

"Well, I'm not as vain as you think, Lindsay. I like to stay far, far away from gossip blogs, even if they write good things about me."

"So you know nothing about it?" Jason wonders. "You don't know how they're making you sound bad or saying you only dated me for the benefits that come with my name?"

It's taking everything in me to not explode and rant about how Jason should be on my side instead of those Exposing rats. I want to give him my two cents on what I think about that blog so badly, but I can't. I can't expose myself in front of Jason when I have his trust and friendship to withhold. I need to keep him on my side if this year's gonna work.

"Not at all," I lie in a tone that's hopefully convincing. I walk over to his side, hold his hand, and sigh. "I'm sorry about everything that happened. You don't deserve any of that, Jase. And when I heard y-you committed, I lost it. I cried my eyes out thinking about how our relationship ended! I treated you like shit, Jason. I know I did."

"Marquie...you know that's not true," he softly assures me. He rubs the back of my knuckles, something he did when we were together to calm me down.

"It is!" I sob. I can't even look him in the eye because I'm actually feeling what I'm saying. It genuinely makes me feel terrible!

"Marquilla. Look at me."

I can't willingly face Jason. He raises my chin and hold my gaze. I forgot how dreamy his eyes are and the softness they express for me. It's weird since we're no longer together.

"Nothing is your fault. I just let everyone get the best of me," he says. "I couldn't take the heat and my mind crumbled. It's not your fault, okay? When I get out of rehab, we'll start fresh. I don't want anything to come between our friendship. You mean way too much to me to completely exit my life. Can we hug on it?"

I eagerly nod my head. Jason embraces me for the biggest hug he's ever given. Lindsay's probably side-eyeing me behind us, but I don't cre. I have Jason's back. That's the only thing that matters now.

A/N:

Oh, look! Marquilla has Jason right where she wants him...and he's totally clueless. What do you think will happen next? Only a handful of chapters left, folks! xx