Nobody knows what it's like for me now that I have neither Marquilla nor music. The world is gray and bleak. My entire existence feels useless, like there's nothing in the world worth living for anymore. There's Jess and Mom, but they seem to have things under control. There's also the Flamily. But...they'll move on. Everyone always does. There will be someone bigger and better than me. There always is, and Marquilla will probably date him, too. Nobody needs me anymore. Soon enough, my music and me will be a distant memory and nothing more.

A few people have tried to contact me—Skeeter, Sofia, Audrey, and Lorraine. Not Lindsay. At first I was hurt, but I understand now. She probably doesn't want to speak to me because I nearly kissed her. I'm such an idiot for being impulsive and misreading the moment. I shouldn't have attempted it; that almost kiss ruined our friendship! Now I don't have anyone. Okay, maybe that's stretching it since I'll always have my fans and family, but I still feel like I don't have anyone to confide in.

I guess it's my fault since I pushed everyone away. If I hadn't come onto her so strongly, I might still have Marquilla. If I hadn't been so naïve, I 'd probably still have friends who legitimately care about me. I know I have Sofia, Lorraine, and Audrey.They've been trying to call me so much over the past week! Sofia even invited me to her New Year's' party because she wanted me to have fun and move on from Marquilla. I do have good people in my life. I jus—I have this habit of driving them away. It's all my fault for being this destructive.

It's ten days into the New Year, and I haven't left the house at all except for grocery shopping, which was just once. I haven't even been on social media because I know that'll lead to an influx of messages from my team and the fans. So I've been completely anti-social. It's definitely not like me since I'm such a people-person and I've never truly been alone after my career soared.

I like to think of this as me hibernating. I mean, this is winter. It makes sense! My house is a little burrow away from the cold and hubbub of the outside world.

A couple days ago, someone called me from an unknown number at around 2 PM. I was still in bed at that time. I also wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone, even someone who knows absolutely nothing about what's happening in my life. I'm more like a wallflower than a social butterfly.

They say it's therapeutic to speak to someone about their issues. I didn't want to do that, so I just let the phone ring until the person on the other line gave up. Looking back, I should have just picked up the damn phone so I could yell at whoever that was and tell them I don't want to be bothered. I probably would have felt better. I would have released so much steam, but I passed on that opportunity because I was so grumpy. I'll keep that in mind for the next time a stranger calls.

The phone rings. I fumble the gadget as it blares in my hands; I forgot the volume's on full. I mumble gibberish as I lower the volume, and sigh once the name on the screen becomes visible. SOFIA GIANTE, it reads. This is like, the tenth time she's tried to call me today.

"What the fuck does she want this time?" I grumble. "Doesn't she know I'm hibernating right now? She should have taken the hint by now!"

I decide to pick it up despite my inner voice telling me not to. Knowing Sofia, she'll probably rant about how worried everyone is about me. I'm calling it now. She's definitely going to do that.

"Oh my God, you ACTUALLY picked up!" she gasps. I think that's her way of greeting me after all this time. She sounds relieved.

"Yeah, well...I'm not too keen on human interaction at the moment," I voice through gritted teeth. "What do you want, Sofia? Make it quick!"

"I jus—everyone's so worried about you, Jason," she responds in deep concern. "You haven't responded to anyone's calls until now, and you haven't been on social media at all! Nobody's even seen you since the breakup! You haven't left a trace, which is why everyone's freaking out about you. I just wanted to know if you're okay. That's why I called."

"I answered. Now you know I'm alive," I spit as I sink into my seat. "I'm on a break, Sofia. Can't I enjoy peace and quiet without everyone constantly being on my case? I hate how people think they have to know what I'm doing 24/7! I deserve privacy, too!"

Sophia sighs. "You're right. You do deserve privacy, Jason. You deserve it just as much as everyone else. You're probably sick and tired of the paparazzi being on your case all the time. I totally get it. We're just concerned, you know? We know how much Marquilla meant to you a—"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT HER IF YOU KNOW I'M STILL UPSET ABOUT HER!" I yell. "You could have easily avoided it, Sofia. You know how I feel about that subject!"

"I"m sorry, Jason!" she exclaims. I think I made her cry. It sounded like her voice cracked. "I'm sorry for caring about my friends! What do you want me to do, huh?"

"Leave me alone. It's that simple," I instruct without remorse. "I answered your call. You can tell Skeeter I'm still breathing. Just tell everyone I'm hibernating. You guys know I'm taking a break from music this year, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I'll be fine, Sofia. I promise."

"Jason..."

Sofia has every right to be upset with me. I'm not exactly making this easy since I'm yelling at her and stuff. I just don't want to be bothered! I feel like complete shit because of the breakup. Why would I want to interact with anyone? She just doesn't get it! She's probably never felt this way before. I know she broke up with her boyfriend before tour ended, but Sofia didn't love him like I love Marquilla.

"Fine," she sadly sighs. "I'll let you go. I'm just glad you're okay, Jason. Talk to you later."

After Sofia hangs up, I stomp to my room. I violently slam the door and crawl into bed, placing my phone on the nightstand and pulling the covers over my head. All I want is to be invisible. I just want to sleep and never see or speak to anyone ever again. It'd be great to spend this year by myself. Thank goodness I called for the break!

I snuggle up and close my eyes. The only sound I hear is my breathing, but that's not even loud enough to counter the sound void surrounding me. This lack of sound would be freaky to anyone, but not me. I highly embrace it. It'll help me sleep off the remainder of the day.

...until I hear someone barge into the room. Frightened that I'm about to be kidnapped or even worse, murdered, I try to keep still. It doesn't sound like they've come here to burglar the place. I don't hear any of the drawers opening or anything that could indicate something will be stolen. That could be a good sign. If they leave my stuff alone, maybe they won't bother with me.

That's stupid, Jason! I think as the sound of footsteps become quieter than they were seconds ago. You're Jason Flamel for fuck's sake! Why would anyone pass off the opportunity to steal your stuff of even you? You're worth millions of dollars! Anyone would be stupid to disregard your net worth when you cost so much! So...why aren't they holding you prisoner? Do they not know whose house this is or what?

Finding everything extremely fishy, I decide to take my chances and go for the reveal. If they're not doing anything to me now, then I must be safe. They would have tied me up already if their motive was to hold me for ransom.

"Oh shit," I breathe as one of the perpetrators jumps onto the bed and blindfolds me.

***

When I regain consciousness, I'm greeted by a pair of incredibly green eyes. A sinister smile curls onto Lorraine's lips as I squint my eyes. I'm only doing this to make sure Lorraine's actually there and I'm not imagining things. She snaps a finger in front of my face and I blink in response. Yup, she's definitely there.

"L-Lorraine?" I croak, still doubting her presence. "I-is that really you, or am I going crazy?"

"Yes, it's really me!" she chuckles. "Took you a while to finally wake up! We arrived half an hour ago."

"We? As in you and me?"

"No. We as in you, me, and Sofi!" she clarifies. "She was actually with me when you guys were on the phone. I heard pretty much the entire conversation. You need help, Jason. You really do."

"Yeah!" Sofia chimes in. she comes into view and sighs disappointedly. "I told you we care, Jase. We were so worried about you! Neither of us want anything bad to happen to you."

"Then what is this?" I press. I sit up straight as I regain my confidence. "Is this supposed to be some sort of intervention? I'm not on drugs, and I'm not even old enough to drink! I'm hibernating for the rest of winter. I already told you that, Sofia!"

"Jason, people don't hibernate," Lorraine points out. "Mammals do. They hibernate because their bodies can't take the winter chill. Humans are mammals, but they don't hibernate because we've adapted. Stop saying you're hibernating!"

"Fine!" I scoff. "I'm taking a break. Is that better? Where are we, anyways? Are we at some sort of secret lair of yours or what?"

"Look around and find out," Sofia instructs.

Now that I have my vision and consciousness back, I can properly take in my surroundings. The walls are some type of pastel blue-green color. I think we're in the building's attic because of the way the ceiling is built, but someone has claimed this room as their own. There's a bed, desk, posters on the walls, and lights hanging from the ceiling. Whosoever room this is, it's nice. I could definitely do without the large bookshelf, though. I don't read enough to fill all of its shelves. Frankly, I just never had time for it since music took over my life.

"Whose bedroom is this?" I question. "It's really nice."

"Lindsay's," Lorraine responds.

I nearly choke on my breath. I've never been to any of the rooms in the Goodrem house except the living room. I feel weird being in Lindsay's room when she's not here. The thought of being in anyone's room when they're absent is like a privacy breach to me. This is Lindsay's room, yet she's not here. Why aren't we in Lorraine's room or the living room? Why Lindsay's?

"Is there a reason why we're in Lindsay's room when she's not here?" I think aloud, eyeing the girls surreptitiously.

"She won't mind," Lorraine answers. "It's not like she's in the country, anyways. She won't know."

My eyes widen at this news. Lorraine mutters "shit" under her breath while Sofia shoots her a warning glance. Apparently, Lindsay's not in the country anymore. That doesn't make sense. She works for Marquilla. I haven't been on social media lately, but even I know Marquilla isn't outside of the States right now. Unless she felt like being nice and letting Lindsay extend her holiday break, I don't see why Marquilla would let Lindsay travel without her. This just doesn't add up!

"Why isn't Lindsay here?" I inquire to nobody in particular. "Is she doing something for Marquilla?"

"Um...no?" Lorraine answers in a question. Her voice rose on the second word. Something is up.

"Way to go, Lorraine!" Sofia scolds the blonde, shoving her aside. "Look, Lindsay doesn't work for Marquilla anymore. She quit before Marquilla entered rehab. Like, she literally dropped her off and told her she was done."

"She was fed up with the drama. She didn't want to be part of it anymore," Lorraine adds. "She uh—she moved to Europe. She found a job there."

"But...why didn't she tell me about this?" I sadly ask. "I'm her friend. She could have told me, too."

Lorraine sighs. She looks at Sofia, then back at me. It doesn't look good. Lindsay must really hate me if she didn't bother telling me about this. I really messed things up by almost kissing her.

"She didn't want to upset you," Lorraine admits. Her eyes match the sadness of her tone, turning a muddy green. "Lindsay thought it was better if you didn't know because of how upset you were after the split. She didn't think you'd care, honestly. Since she isn't associating herself with your ex anymore, she thought that meant you wouldn't want to be her friend. I told her she was thinking nonsense, but she wouldn't listen.

"'The only reason why he spoke to me was because I was working for Marquilla,' she said. Linds genuinely thought Marquila was your only link. That's also why she didn't tell you about changing her phone number. She didn't want Marquilla and Skylar to bother her anymore, so she changed her number the day before she left."

"Hold on. Let me get this straight," I interject. My mind is going crazy right now because I'm trying to digest everything Lorraine just said. "Lindsay quit being Marquilla's personal assistant on the actual day she entered rehab? Lindsay doesn't want to deal with Skylar and her anymore, so she changed her number? And now she's living in Europe because she found a job there? Is that right?"

Both girls nod their heads.

"She's in Paris," Sofia blurts out. "She's working as an au pair and she's taking care of the most adorable twins. They're like Lindsay and Lorraine because their names start with the same letter, except the twins are opposite genders and they're too young to go out since they're six."

"Linds is fluent in French," Lorraine mentions. "And Hungarian...and Italian. She's ridiculous!"

"It's okay," Sofia calmly says as she sits beside me. "Take as much time as you need to let it all sink in. we'll wait. Neither of us are in a rush. This is all about you, anyways. We're here for you, Jason."

I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair. It's now matted down because I've been sweating. This news has been so mind-boggling that it's making me feel guilty about everything. I was right about everything being my fault. What the girls told me about Lindsay is proof that I'm toxic. Everything has happened because of the way I react to situations. It's all there!

You're not the type of toxic Britney Spears sings about in the song, I ponder. You're the opposite of addictive, Jason. You retract people, not reel them in. No wonder Lindsay moved to Paris! She thinks he only reason why you wanted to be her friend is because of Marquilla. That's so not true! You wanted to be her friend because you really like her. You even tried to kiss her! Shouldn't that have been enough evidence you like her? Or could she have thought you wanted to kiss her just because you're famous and can get anyone you want? Ridiculous! That's what it is! You're not that type of guy. You'd never use your celebrity for something that degrading!

"She still has your number," Lorraine notes. "She tried to call you a couple days ago, but you didn't answer your phone. She said it was nearly ten at night when she tried to call you, which is like, two in the afternoon here."

"Sh-she tried to call me...two days ago?" I reiterate, dumbstruck.

'Yup," Lorraine confirms. "Why?"

I stare at the girls in shock. Had I known the unknown number was Lindsay's, I definitely would have picked it up in a heartbeat. I fucked up so bad! I feel like such an idiot for letting that call go to waste! I could have straightened things up with Lindsay if I had just ignored my instincts! No wonder I always mess things up! I'm such an idiot for doing that. Way to go, me!

"I-it's nothing," I finally answer after snapping out of my head. "It just sounds odd that she'd call me even though she didn't bother telling me anything. It doesn't make sense to me."

"That's my sister for ya! She tends to make no sense at all when she's compulsive," Lorraine laughs. I can't help noticing the way her eyes look just like her sister's. They're the exact same shade of green. "Enough about Linds. We kidnapped you, Jason Declan."

"You're not saying my last name?" I joke.

"Hey, he cracked a joke!" Sofia exclaims. "This is probably the first time he's told one since...you know."

Lorraine glares at Sofia, mentally telling her that particular topic is off limits. Sofia shoots her an apologetic look, then turns her attention back to me.

"You're safe here," Sofia comments. "If you don't want anyone to bother you, this is the perfect place to be. Paparazzi literally camp outside of your house just in case you decide to step outside for a few. Now that you're on a break, your picture is worth more. It sounds silly, but it's true."

"What Sofia's trying to say is your place isn't safe," Lorraine clarifies. Sofia sticks her tongue out at her. "People know where you live, so they can easily find you if they want your attention. I wouldn't be surprised if they try to break in just for a glimpse now that you've fallen out of the spotlight! However, nobody knows where chez Goodrem is located. Marquilla doesn't even know where this place is because LIndsay has never taken her here!"

What Lorraine's trying to say is you're better off staying here than anywhere else," Sofia says. She gives Lorraine a devilish grin, then continues speaking. "This is like, the ultimate sanctuary, Jason! As long as you're here, you won't have to worry about a soul ringing your bell or forcing you to go anywhere you don't want to go. You won't even have to worry about grocery shopping because Lorraine can do it for you! I'll tell Skeeter that you're safe, but I promise I won't tell him you're here unless you want. Mark my words."

"It'll also make us loads less worried about you," Lorraine adds. "I know Lindsay will be relieved if you decide to stay. She never said it, but I can always tell how she feels just from her facial expressions. She always had that concerned look whenever your name came up. She really is worried about you, Jase. She's just as concerned as we are; she just has a distant way of showing it."

I sigh deeply and bite my lower lip. I don't know what to do. I appreciate their concern and the effort they're putting to make me feel better, but I'm conflicted about staying here. I feel like I'd be intruding if I do. It doesn't matter that Lorraine's opening her house to me; I'd feel out of place regardless of her warm welcome.

"You won't bother me or anything if you take my offer," Lorraine comments. It's like she's reading my mind! "Seriously, Jason! I'd rather have you stay here, where I know you'll be safe and out of any hidden cameras, than your place. You're completely alone there; we don't want you to feel alone. You have us, and we're here for you. Please say you'll stay here until you get things figured out. It'd make all of us feel so relieved."

Lorraine and Sofia regard me with puppy dog eyes. Those are really hard to refuse. I guess I have to weigh my options. If I give into the girls' plea, that means I'll have a chance to patch things up with Lindsay. The Goodrem girls are tight; I'm sure they speak to each other every day. Everyone will also stop calling because I'll be right under their watchful eyes. But if I decide to stay home, I'll most likely continue sulking, which is far from helping my case.

"Fine!" I reluctantly surrender. "If it means a lot to you, I'll stay here."

"Really?" Lorraine and Sofia simultaneously ask with big, hopeful eyes.

"Yes, really!" I affirm. "I'm tired of you guys calling me all the time. And I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a little company around. At least Lorraine won't yell at me for sleeping in."

The girls excitedly tackle me into a huge hug. It feels nice to see how much people care about me. I've been a pessimist since...but I had every reason to be that way. I lost the love of my life in an instant and that pushed me into a dark place, so I stayed there because I thought that's where I belonged. Sofia and Lorraine are showing me otherwise. I'm thankful to have such wonderful friends, even if I have very few of them.

"Can you guys not talk about...you know, her?" I question. "That'll make the healing process easier."

"Of course!" Lorraine answers. "We wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable at all. Right, that name is completely taboo from now on."

"Yeah, but what about Exp—"

"IT'S TABOO!" Lorraine cuts Sofia off very sternly. "Now that's settled, we should head back to your house so you can pack clothes and other essentials, Jason. We definitely don't have anything that you could borrow, so a trip to yours is necessary. Since Linds is in Paris, you can have this room. Just don't touch her bookshelf. She'll kill me if she knew I let you do that!"

"Why?" Sofia asks, completely puzzled. "They're just books. There's no harm in Jason reading."

"IT JUST IS!" Lorraine shouts. "Now, let's head back to Jason's, shall we?"

***

This afternoon was absolutely insane with all the packing and moving, but we finally got there. It took us longer than it should because Lorraine insisted that Sofia and I sing a song together before I packed up my guitar; we sang five songs. Everything at my house happened in a blur! The only reason why I recall that happening is because both girls posted a video on their Instagrams for proof and my notifs have been off the wall since then.

It's now almost 2 AM and I still can't sleep! I blame the excessive sleep I had before this year started. All I did after the breakup was sleep, and now I can't do it anymore. Okay, I can sleep, but I can't fall asleep easily. It takes a while for my mind to be in tune with my body when I want to sleep.

The outline of Lindsay's bookshelf bothers me. It's highly visible despite it being pitch black. It's basically beckoning me to peruse its shelves! But Lorraine distinctly told me not to touch anything on it. I can't disobey her after how nice she's been!

It's just a bookshelf! I think as I squint my eyes to see better in the dim lighting. It's full of books, Jason! That's it. It's not like one of them is a lever to a secret lab when you take it out! Besides, Lindsay studied English in school, not chemistry. There's no way she'd know how to work a laboratory! Lindsay has nothing to hide. Just do it! You've nothing to worry about! Lorraine's probably asleep or doing homework. Either way, she's preoccupied.

I really, really shouldn't look at the bookshelf, but restricted objects are always tempting. If Lorraine finds out about this, she'll kill me. It's a risk worth taking. I mean, how harmful can it be? Worst case scenario, I find a potions book and discover she's part of Wicca.

Even though Lindsay's room is in the attic and there's no way anyone can hear what's happening, I slowly slip out of bed as quietly as possible. I know I'm being over cautious, but it's better to be too careful than not at all. For all I know, Lorraine could have supersonic hearing.

"This is fucking ridiculous!" I whisper-snap as I tiptoe over to the light switch. "It's like I'm trying to sneak downstairs for a midnight snack!"

I shut my eyes once the light illuminates, and open them about five seconds later. After my eyes have adjusted, I casually stroll over to the large bookshelf. It's nothing out of the ordinary. It's literally just a bookshelf.

"I don't comprehend why Lorraine's adamant about me not looking at this thing. It's so stupid! It's just a bookshelf and these are just b—"

One spine in particular immediately captures my attention. The moment I laid eyes on it, I became transfixed. It looks more like a binder than a book, but I could be wrong. The royal purple book appears too thick for a novel, but there are some really big books out there. Gone With the Wind is one of Lindsay's favorites—there's a copy on the top shelf—and it's over a thousand pages long! That's a huge book, but it seems like this one is slightly bigger.

I grab the royal purple book and drop it. Of course its weight made itself clear with a loud thud when it hit the floor! What luck I have! I hope Lorraine didn't catch that horrendously loud landing noise.

I take a seat and pull the book towards me. There's nothing on the cover; it's a blank book. There isn't even an excerpt or any sort of hint on the book's subject on the back cover! This oddity only peaks my interest. There has to be a reason why this book spoke to me when I saw it. This cover could be a dupe. Maybe it's blank for a reason.

My mouth drops to the floor and my eyes widen at the words printed on the cover page. In large and neat calligraphy are two words that simultaneously confuse and intrigue me. I feel like I've seen this phrase before, but I don't know where. I guess I'll stay up and find out what they mean. It's not like I can sleep that easily, anyways. I might as well unravel the mystery behind this phrase.  

A/N: Anyone else love Sofia, Lorraine and Jason's friendship? Cause I do. What do you guys think is in the purple binder? Leave your thoughts and predictions below! See ya next chapter!!