◁ 2nd January 20xx ▷
◁ 22:15 ▷

Her head hit the pillows with the need to prevent her mind from spinning into the morning. With her thoughts drifting in and raiding her mind, her fingers clutched the book, almost tearing it in frustration. That book was the expressions of a brain still connected to the deepest emotions, and on those pages, it was infused with the guidance of the soul, of empathy. They invited a conversation with the thoughts, and in a way it preserved ideas and hidden emotions which otherwise would be as fleeting as the song of a bird.

It may have been papery pages with scribbles that formed words formed from the depths of a dead mind, but they were hope. Hope for closure. But now there would be none. It didn't work. It didn't open. The lead was lost.

Hye-Jin rubbed at her worn scalp like it was a bother to her, the voices trying to tear their way out to lecture her on failure. In anger, she carelessly threw the book to the side and took, in her hands, the strange key. It should've worked. A key. A diary. It made sense. But maybe it had been too easy, too simple. For why would a clever man, such as Taehyung, place the weapon to unlock all his secrets, in a weakly hidden location. There was much more to this ordeal and simply thinking about his name gave Hye-Jin an unbearable headache.

She twisted and turned on her mattress with her cheek pressed into the pillows to welcome the darkness. She wanted, needed, to fall into it's strong protective arms and allow it to hold her close until the promised dawn.

Before allowing it to shield her, Hye-Jin looked towards the window. Rain. It was like a small whisper, soft like tiny tears. It made the window a little misty, almost vapour-like and refreshing. The rain brought a richness that soothed her heart and brought a steadiness to her soul. It always came when she needed a shield for what was to come, and at this moment, she welcomed it and allowed it to lull her to bed. Even though falling asleep felt like a coward's move, without sleep she couldn't function, no functioning meant mistake on the job and we all know where that leads

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◁ 3rd January 20xx ▷
◁ 01:32 ▷

The slight pitter-patter sounded pleasing to Seokjin's ear. He was in a daze looking at the serenely chaotic weather out the widow. It wasn't like he was paying any attention to it, he was simply staring into a void of nothingness, with no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions.

Eleven o'clock morphed into twelve and then one. The time trickled by, marked only by those changing numerals. Seokjin's mind was blank; where there should have been dreams and subconscious thoughts, was instead a heavy blackness. His mind flickered to the cupboard and the sleeping pills the doctor prescribed long ago. Chemicals. He didn't want them, so instead, to stop the stinging burn in his eyes, he shut them. Maybe this time the blanket of darkness would shelter him.

◁ 02:15 ▷

It was still dark. Seokjin lay there as if asleep, trying to trick his mind, until pain spread to his side and forced him to shift. The long minutes dragged into even longer hours and although wanting, he didn't dare look at the clock. To see that it is still before midnight or just two a.m. would be enough to send my heart racing and undo the calming effect of being so restful.

The silence in the room was slowly driving him out of control, her he remained willfully blind praying dawn would come soon. When the daylight would shine, he would throw back the covers, go to brew a strong coffee and grab another one before setting off to work. But until then, he was left prisoner to this sleepless night.

◁ 03:54 ▷

There was a tenseness to his muscles that made Seokjin more like a mannequin on the soft mattress than a man of flesh and bone. He wanted so much to melt onto the soft foam, wrapped in the duvet, and drift into the world of dreams. That in itself felt like a foreign dream due to his brain is a violent whirl of stupidity, trying to organize the newfound chaos in his life.

It sought to discover a way to control the unpredictability of people, to consent and please them so that encounters were softer, less draining. Of course the task was pointless, life was far too random for a human brain to take the billions of factors that come together to form just one day for one person. Though his conscious brain knew all this, the subconscious remained stubborn in its attempts to protect Jin, to ensure his survival. Yet what he really desired at this moment, was a short sleep. Even a short six hours would suffice. If only...

◁ 07:03 ▷

In the ten hours he had been in bed, Jin had forgotten how many times he woke up after managing to shut his eyes in brief moments. It wasn't for too long each time, but enough to break his sleep into unrefreshing chunks. Not to mention the nightmares each hour or so: cheating on his future lover; watching death of his Taehyung over and over; losing his dream job; awaking in a burning house; watching his boys fall apart, unable to change the future.

Then his bedroom lit up from the rising sun, making his mind move faster than it ran the previous night. A cold shower seemed nice, to freeze the thoughts, but Jin couldn't, A coffee would be heavenly, but it would only set Jin over the edge. The only thought keeping him sane for the day, was the hope he'd get closure with the things happening to his family.

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A/N:
it's been a while, but i'm back ^^