| J O S H

"How does it feel to finally be turning eighteen?" Darren asked, pushing my shoulder while we ran along the pack's border. We'd been assigned border patrol by his dad for the month, apparently to get us to work better as a team. The alpha and his beta have to work as a unit after all. I didn't see how it would make much of a difference considering we've been together since we were pups. If we couldn't work together by now then it just wasn't gonna happen.

I rolled my eyes, before smirking. "I'm gonna be an old man like you, I'm dreading every second." I joked, shoving him back. He threw his head back and laughed, slowing to a trot as he did so.

"Whatever, you'll still be a pup compared to me," he laughed, smirking at my glare. Darren turned nineteen about a month ago, he was roughly over a year older than I was. It was unusual for the age gap between alpha and beta to be so large but not uncommon. Typically, the alpha and beta's eldest children were raised and trained together. That wasn't the case with us. My father isn't the current beta. Unfortunately, his child passed during birth and after a while, he and his mate gave up on having another one.

I growled, baring my fangs at him. I may be younger than him, but not by that much. I am definitely not a pup.

You get riled up so easily. My wolf rumbled from the back of my mind. I ignored the big grey bastard; he had no room to talk. Darren just raised an eyebrow, his smile never falling. I stopped running and so did he.

"Is that another challenge, pup?" he teased, enjoying my reactions. "How many times do I have to put you in your place." His stance was completely relaxed, arms hanging at his side, not a single muscle bunched. Like he wasn't even phased. As if I wasn't even a threat. His nonchalance was getting under my skin. I snarled, walking up to him til there was only a hair's breadth of space between us. I was an inch shorter than he was, but we were roughly the same size. The fact that I had to look up at him slightly only pissed me off more.

Darren just sighed, his teasing demeanor gone. "Calm down, I was just joking." He said placatingly, though I could see the amusement still shimmering in his brown eyes just before they flashed gold. His wolf must not have liked being challenged even if Darren saw it all as a joke. The desire to show his dominance must be eating away at him.

That was the biggest difference between me and Darren. Control. He never had a problem controlling his emotions. Unlike me. It was annoying.

My fists clenched at my sides. I was shaking. I couldn't help it. I was never very good at keeping my anger under wraps. Darren frowned, reaching out and clasping my shoulder in his hand. I growled at the contact, but he didn't even flinch.

"Calm down." His brown eyes turned into a radiant gold.

What is even more annoying, was that it didn't take much for him to control me.

Immediately, my shaking stopped. I felt the familiar tingling at the back of my eyes as they returned to their original blue coloring. I took a deep breath, stepping out of Darren's reach.

"Sorry about that." I rolled my shoulders, trying to release some of the tension. I didn't know what was wrong with me lately, it was like the smallest things could make me pop my top at the drop of a hat. A wolf who couldn't control his anger was definitely not beta material. I wasn't born to be a beta, but I'd be damned if I let Darren down. Besides, no one else could watch his back better than I could.

"We'll work on it," Darren said, his relaxed smile returning. "Together. How about we spar after we're done here." he offered. The suggestion was appealing, I may have cooled off but the need to punch something was still there. Darren must have known that. I truly believed he knew me better than I knew myself. That's why he brought it up. If we didn't spar, I would probably end up directing the pent up aggression towards someone who couldn't take and most likely didn't deserve it.

I snorted, smirking. "Sure, I'll hand your ass to you any day, Alpha," I mocked. It was his turn to growl, it wasn't a threatening one like mine had been, though, purely playful.

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll try." he scoffed, completely nonplussed as he began jogging again, leaving me behind. I rolled my eyes, watching him run away. I couldn't help but appreciate the view. The moon's light reflecting off his ebony skin appealed to me more than it should.

Hell, it shouldn't appeal to me at all.

I shook my head, freeing it of all thoughts regarding Darren and began running after him until I caught up.

We'd been out here for most of the night but hadn't seen anything notable. The sun was due to rise in an hour or two. I'd be turning eighteen in that same amount of time. Maybe I'd meet my mate tomorrow. I wonder what she'd be like. Yet as excited as I was to meet her, I was worried that she wouldn't be able to put up with my anger problems, or worse, I'd hurt her when I really lost it.

We finished our final lap before heading towards the pack house. Darren stopped in the front yard and I did as well, coming to a halt at his side.

"My dad wants to talk to me, why he gets up at the ass crack of dawn and decides he wants to talk, I don't know." Darren began explaining, looking at me apologetically. "We'll spar later, try not to snap anyone's neck." A smile quirked at the edge of his lips, showing off his dimples.

Dimples that I never paid too much attention to before. They were...really fucking cute on him... Nope! I shoved the thought into hell and pretended it never crossed my mind.

"Yeah, yeah, stretch while you're at it, wouldn't want you to pull something while I'm whooping your ass later." I waved him off, smirking.

Darren growled, suddenly we were less than a foot away from each other. Close enough that I felt his breath fanning against my face. His eyes were a hypnotizing gold, but his lips were set in a playful smirk.

"We'll see about that, pup," he said lowly and any comeback I had died on my lips as my brain fizzled. As fast as his warmth was there it was gone, and he was walking towards the house. I was frozen, but I had no idea why. My face felt flushed, even more so than it had at the end of our run.

What the hell is going on with me?

Not wanting to think about it anymore, I made my way inside the house, making a beeline towards my room. Everyone was still asleep aside from a few exceptions. Luna Eden was gliding around the kitchen as she made breakfast. It was no surprise to see her awake considering her mate was also up and about. Where one was the other was never far behind.

"Morning, Luna," I greeted as I passed. She smiled warmly as she paused what she was doing.

"Good Morning, Josh." She called after me.

I didn't run into anyone else after that. When I got to my room, I grabbed the first pair of shorts my hands touched before making my way to the bathroom. My mind was blank as I turned on the water, absently watching it as it fell from the shower head. Stepping into the warm spray, I lathered my body with soap. I sighed, dunking my head under the water.

I almost lost it again, and it wasn't my wolf's fault this time. I can't explain why Darren calling me a pup pissed me off. It just did. Then again, I can never explain why anything pisses me off. Yet I could always count on Darren to calm me down. I shouldn't be relying on him to keep my anger in check. It was hard not to—I'd been doing it since the day we met.

It hadn't been the best day for me, possibly one of the worst if I'm being honest. The day the alpha and his son found eight-year-old me on the border, half alive. I don't remember how I found my way here, or where I came from. I don't even remember anything about my parents. They tried to get close to me, and even though I was pretty much starved and weak as shit, I still attempted to attack them.

Darren was nine at the time and he charged me and managed to tackle me. I think I passed out after that, I remember waking up in the pack doctor's house and the first face I saw was Darren's. He was just as laid back then as he is now. He had smiled and said 'welcome to the pack.' From that day on he followed me around, saying it was his responsibility to make sure I didn't get into trouble. I didn't make it easy for him.

It felt like I was angry all the time, I would blow up at the drop of the hat. It didn't help that I barely had any control over my wolf. Every time I blanked Darren was the one who was able to calm me down. The only one.

We became friends fast and we were practically inseparable. That's when his father came up with the novel idea that I should train to be Darren's beta. And here we are ten years later, with me suddenly noticing things one wouldn't typically pay any attention to about my best friend—hell, he was more like a brother. Normal people don't think about their brother's the way I've been thinking about Darren.

Without me wanting it to, the memory of the moon's light bouncing off the dark brown skin of his muscled back popped into my mind. I groaned. I'd seen Darren without a shirt on plenty of times before, we've even seen each other naked, so why in the hell was I all of a sudden unable to keep thoughts of his bare chest out of my mind.

I growled, suddenly irritated, before roughly shutting the water off. Not wanting to think about it anymore, I steadfastly tried not to think about anything. After I was done getting dressed, I made my way to Darren's room. I really needed to punch something. Right now, his dimpled face sounded like the best target. Maybe if I hit it hard enough it wouldn't look so damn perfect...

My mood worsened with that thought and I was liable to punch the next person I saw.

Luckily, it was still early so I didn't see anyone. When I walked up to the hallway his room was on, I stopped in my tracks. The scent of sunshine and forest was overbearing... yet enticing. I felt my hair stand up on end as all of my irritation left me.

Mate. My wolf provided oh so helpfully. I would have told him to shut up if my heart hadn't been pounding a mile a minute. I followed the scent to its source, an uncomfortable feeling making itself home at the bottom of my stomach. I stopped in front of Darren's door where the delicious smell was the strongest.

Oh fuck. 

Well, that explains a lot. My large grey wolf rumbled, his glacier eyes flashed with interest. 

I tried to ignore the sarcasm in his voice, my brain was just too jumbled to deal with him right now. I bit my lip, unable to tear my eyes away from the door. Darren is my mate. We're mates. Elation trickled in past my shock as a smile pulled at the edge of my lips. I can't even say I was surprised. It all made sense. Of course it was Darren. It's always been Darren.

I heaved a sigh, running a hand down my face. But I didn't deserve him. He was going to be Alpha for crying out loud. I couldn't give him pups! I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. I can't even control my anger, let alone be a good beta for him. How the hell was I going to be worthy as a mate?!

He deserved some werewolf girl who could actually make him happy.

Not...me.

My chest ached with the realization that I was the exact opposite of what was best for him.

You can't reject him! My wolf roared in protest. Tears pricked the back of my eyes but I blinked them away. You'd both die!

I know. I growled, forcing myself to move away from the door. I couldn't reject him, but I couldn't let him find out that I was his mate either.

You're making a mistake. My wolf tried to reason with me once again. I just ignored him. I may regret it, but at least Darren would be able to mate with someone that he deserved.

|||

I know it's wrong to practically avoid your mate like he's some kind of deadly plague, but that's what I've been doing for the past week. I even skipped our sparring sessions. I was so afraid that he would be able to figure out that I was his mate. When I had gone to our pack doctor Samira that day she had given me a concoction that would help me cloak my sent. I made sure not to tell her why I needed the damn thing in the first place.

I simply told her that it was important, a matter of life and death. I said whatever I thought would convince her and thank Goddess it worked. Samira gave me a vial of what appeared to be a clear liquid and instructed me on how to use it. Once I got what I needed, I hightailed it out of there and holed up in my room for the rest of the day.

Darren came by an hour later to wish me a happy birthday and by that time I had used the vial to hide my scent on everything in my room. I had refused to open the door for him, lying and saying I was tired from our border run. I knew he didn't buy it but before he could interrogate me his father had called on him once again.

Thank Goddess for that. His voice made my knees weak, if he had stayed and persisted, I knew that I would have caved.

These past few days have been hell. His scent is everywhere and just smelling it sends my heart into a frenzy and makes my dick pulse with want. Torture. Pure torture. It's like I'm a ball of need and the only remedy just so happens to be the thing making me like this in the first place. I want him so bad, but I don't deserve him.

The few times he has managed to corner me, he always tried to ask me what's wrong and everything in me just wants to give in and literally fall at the man's feet.

The worst part of it all? I want to bare my neck for him and submit. And for some damn reason, I am okay with that. As if I wasn't a dominant wolf who wants my mate to submit to me, not the other way around. But, fuck, if Darren told me to roll over on my back and tell him who the boss was, I would. No doubt about it.

You could have his dick up your ass already if you would just stop being an idiot. My wolf sneered, still very much angry at me for denying him his mate. He forcibly placed the image of Darren plowing into me from behind while growling ferociously into my head. I almost tripped down the steps as I damn near came in my pants.

I bit my lip swallowing the moan that almost escaped me. 'Fuck you.' I snarled, righting myself.

"You okay there, Josh?" I heard someone chuckle in amusement. I growled out a curse under my breath in irritation. I really wasn't in the mood for other people right now. I walked down the rest of the steps before shooting the person had spoken the dirtiest look I could muster. Jared just raised an eyebrow at my hostility. I didn't spare the blonde-haired wolf another glance as I walked in the opposite direction towards the kitchen.

You're a dick. I growled at my wolf who just flashed his teeth in satisfaction.

And you want to sit on Darren's, but that's neither here nor there. He shot back. I groaned before shutting him out completely.

Right as I was walking into the kitchen though, I ran into what I assumed was one of the pack children. The collision pulled me from my thoughts for a moment as I looked to see who I'd run into.

Stumbling back Kaleb, the pack runt, clutched his food items to his small chest. His large grey eyes widened in surprise as he barely kept his balance. It looked like he tried to walk through a wall but ended up bouncing off instead.

His cheeks filled with color as I glared down at him, a growl slipping past my lips. I could practically feel the fear that radiated off him. I was too frustrated to care. As always, frustration quickly turned to anger. I wasn't even mad about running into him, it wasn't his fault but since I had no control over my own damn temper I lashed out, like always.

"Watch it, runt," I growled out before taking the apple he was clutching so desperately and pushing past him. He just whimpered and kept his eyes trained on the floor until I passed.

Who's the dick now? My wolf mocked before quickly receding again. I huffed out a frustrated growl as a little bit of guilt gnawed at me. The anger that fueled my actions was gone and now that I was thinking clearly it wasn't hard to see that my actions were uncalled for. I sighed and turned to return the apple to the skittish little omega. My wolf was kicking my ass for treating him like that. It's in our nature to treat omegas like they would break under the slightest pressure.

When I reenter the kitchen the runt was gone. Running a hand down my face, I left the apple on the counter and walked off, why I took the damn thing in the first place, I don't fucking know.

I need some air. I decided before walking out the back door.

I spent the rest of the day avoiding my pack mates and dodging any and all signs of Darren. It was getting a little exhausting to be honest. Sometimes I would allow myself little peaks of him through the day. Moreso for my wolf than myself. I was starting to feel like a stalker.

Sad and pathetic is what you should feel like. My wolf grumbled. As usual, I just ignored him.

A couple of hours later I was heading back to my room after a long and wonderful day of self-imposed isolation. I could count today as a success, Darren hadn't managed to corner me at all. Point 1 for me, 0 for sexy-alpha-in-training.

I was reveling in my small petty victory when the Alpha called for another meeting like we didn't just have one yesterday. I think we get it by now—there is a big ass tiger out there somewhere, stay away. What idiot would go off on his own knowing that anyway? They were probably suicidal or fetishized becoming cat food. With a huff, I turned on my heel and began walking towards the meeting area.

Alpha Drake stood on the boulder in the middle of the clearing as he addressed the entire pack. Darren was built just like him, but he got his beautiful eyes from Luna Eden.

"I hate to call pack meetings so close together, but I only do so when it's extremely important. It seems a tiger on our borders is no longer our only concern." The big man boomed so that everyone could hear. "There has been an increase in rogue activity. We need to be more vigilant now than ever. We are a pack we need to look after one another."

I shifted my weight from foot to foot anxiously as I felt rather than heard the approach of my mate as he came to stand next to me. It took everything in me not to shiver at his proximity. Everything else the Alpha said fell on deaf ears. He could have been talking about unicorns shitting possums and I wouldn't have cared. A whole week of avoiding Darren had me practically starving for his presence. I refused to look at him even though he seemed to have no qualms about boring holes in the side of my face with those warm brown eyes of his.

"Josh—" I tensed.

"Alpha, Kaleb is missing!" came the concerned voice of the wolf from earlier. Jared, the pack doctor's nephew. "I haven't seen him since this morning." There was a ripple of unrest that ran through the gathered wolves. It was like being told one of the pups was missing, not a nineteen-year-old runt. Kaleb was the only runt in the pack, so everyone tended to baby him a bit. Mostly because our wolves saw him as a pup. 

The pack mothers immediately went into attack mode, they shifted snarling lowly. Luna Eden's lovely dark complexion seemed to pale as her eyes frantically searched the assembled crowd in spite of Jared's words. Alpha Drake's jaw clenched as his eyes lit amber.

"We need to find him now." Drake growled before setting about dividing the enforcers into search parties. Group by group they all bounded into the forest in their assigned directions. I may not be as overprotective of the omega as everyone else but that didn't mean I wanted him hurt, he was a part of my pack after all. That sentiment changed when the Alpha said, "Darren, Josh, you two will search our eastern border. Pierce, we'll take the southern border." He addressed his beta. The red-headed tank nodded mutely.

Dread filled me. In a matter of minutes, the past week had gone to shit. I was being forced to be around my mate for as long as this omega hunt lasted.

This could take hours.

Fuck.

Point 1 to sexy alpha-to-be.

Game set match.

|||

I was going to strangle that runt when we found him. It's his fucking fault that I'm being forced to face the one thing I've been trying to damn avoid! Darren ran beside me in silence. It took everything in me not to just roll over for the big brown wolf. We'd been running for hours and with every minute that passed my patience wore thinner and thinner.

'What crawled up your butt and died?' Darren spoke first. I could hear the teasing lilt in his voice, but I couldn't help but react evasively.

'Nothing.' I grunted in response.

Please just drop it. Please just drop it. I silently begged.

'No, something is bothering you—has been bothering you. Tell me.'

I growled softly. I hated when he did that. What made it worse was that he probably didn't know he was doing it. Controlling me.

'You've been avoiding me—'

'No, I haven't.' I interjected, hearing the lie in my own voice. Darren laughed, making my heart do this weird thing in my chest.

'You're shit at lying.' The bastard chuckled. 'Especially to me.'

'Drop it.' I growled, knowing that if he pressed any harder, I would cave.

'Grow a pair and tell me what the problem is instead of avoiding the situation.' Darren huffed, clearly fed up with my bullshit. 'You are like a brother to me, just tell me what it is so I can help.'

You can't help, is what I desperately wanted to say. He was the damn problem, to begin with.

'If my balls got any bigger they'd be touching the floor.' I joked, trying to change the subject. Before he could respond, I picked up on the scent of the runt. Darren dropped the conversation, thank goddess, and focused on the trail. We followed it to a little meadow. When we broke the tree line we froze. Of course, the little shit would be with a damn tiger of all things.

'Well, this complicates things.' Darren commented. They noticed our approach and the tiger covered the ebony-haired boy's naked body with a shirt. The man was huge, he made the omega look ridiculously small. If he so much as flicked him, Kaleb would probably shatter. The tiger had the nerve to glare at us as if we were trespassing on his land and not the other way around.

'Kaleb, are you all right?' Darren asked through the link.

'He looks more than okay if you ask me.' I muttered, noticing the flush in the omega cheeks. They've been having fun. I feel my mate's amusement through the link.

'Shut up, Josh.' Darren snorted softly, a smile evident in his voice. I couldn't help the flutter in my heart knowing that I made him smile, even if it was only a small one. 'Kaleb—' He tried again, and that is when it dawned on both of us. The little shit had broken the link with the pack!

My mate began moving closer to the duo cautiously. I sent him a look that clearly said 'what the fuck are you doing'. The big sexy bonehead didn't see it though as he continued moving forward. Once we were a little closer, he shifted, and I groaned internally. This is not what I needed right now. It took all of my control—and we all know how little to nonexistent there is of that—to not openly ogle his muscular form. Damn, it should be illegal to be that fucking sexy. And it's like he's not even trying.

You need some dick. My wolf remarked. I flicked him off before shutting him out. I didn't need his commentary right now. With a reluctant groan, I shifted as well.

"What are you doing here, Kaleb?" Darren asked. A valid question seeing as the little shit had no business being out here in the first place. "Are you not aware of the ban my father placed on leaving the borders of our territory?"

Kaleb's tiny shoulders shook a bit as he lowered his eyes in submission. Darren's eyes widened as they zeroed in on the newly marked area on the runt's neck. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth.

"I see," Darren said warily looking between Kaleb and the overgrown house cat. "You found your mate." Kaleb nodded meekly. Of fucking course they're mates. Good for the little shit, I guess.

"Why haven't you told us yet?" Darren asked causing Kaleb to avert his eyes.

"I'd just found my mate, is it so bad that I wanted to get to know him on my own for a while?" The runt muttered dejectedly. I couldn't help but scoff. Jealousy reared its ugly head as the knowledge that I could never have what he had planted itself in my brain. My temper was beginning to get the better of me.

Darren sighed. "You know it's not that simple Kaleb. You defied a direct order from your Alpha. You know what can happen if the Alpha doesn't pardon yo—"

"No one is going to lay a hand on him," The kitty-mittens stated as calmy as if the threat of an entire pack trying to kill him didn't faze him. "Kaleb is mine."

Who the fuck is he talking to?

I scowled. "He belongs to the pack, tiger, mate or not." I don't even know what I was saying at this point, and I didn't care. I just wanted to fight. The fucker the nerve to look amused. I wanted to punch the smirk off his face.

"Not anymore, pup." The cat said completely unfazed. I could feel my eyes turn glacier white as my entire body lit up in fury at the tiger's nonchalant dismissal. I growled but Kaleb's mate didn't seem to care one bit. I had to clench my fists to keep from shaking.

'Calm, down.' Darren commanded softly. The sound of it soothed some of the rage in me and I released an annoyed huff in response. I don't know how the hell he was so level-headed all the time. He was always so laid back, it's irritating.

"Kaleb, you need to return, this has to do with more than just you disobeying orders." Darren's voice turned grim. "You missed the meeting today, so you don't know that there have been rogue sightings. It is not safe out here and when you hadn't shown up to the meeting, everyone was worried sick about you."

"I'm sorry, I truly didn't mean to worry anyone. I just wanted to—"

"Yes, spend time with your mate. We get it." I growled cutting him off. No need to rub it in.

"I can kill him if you'd like a little one," The tiger spoke tenderly, not caring that both me and Darren could hear him perfectly well. This bastard could not be serious right now.

'Josh, don't.' Darren warned. I growled lowly.

He's not the damn boss of me. I'm tired of him controlling me. My thoughts weren't rational. I was aware of that.

I just didn't care.

"It's funny seeing a tiger ask a useless runt for permission." I taunted, ignoring the glare Darren shot at me.

'Josh!' He growled through the link. I ignored him.

"It'll be even funnier once I've ripped out your spine," The house cat shot back. "Stay in your place, pup."

My wolf reacted this time, my bones shifted, molding themselves into the form of a large grey wolf.

"Stop." Darren commanded. I flinched but didn't stand down. It was too late anyway. The tiger shifted, revealing his massive second form. The fact that he towered well over me and was practically twice my mass was lost on me. It didn't matter. The edges of my vision took on a red tint, all I could see was his snarling face. All I could feel was the desire to rip out his throat. I was practically shaking with the need to do it.

Dominance rolled off the tiger in waves, his aura demanding that we all submit. It was too much for the runt to handle, he crumpled next to his mate, revealing his belly in submission. I strained under the weight of it but steadfastly refused to show any sign of weakness.

'Josh, stop. Now.'

I couldn't stand the sound of his voice in my head. Making me second guess myself.

Making me want to submit.

In this moment I didn't want to submit. I want to tear flesh from bone. Taste blood on my tongue and release all of this pent-up anger. Anger because some runt had something I never would. Anger because as much as I would try I can never be better than this. I would never be enough. He won't want me. I don't deserve him.

'Josh—'

I charged. Ignoring the commands of my mate, more importantly, my Alpha. Before I could make it more than a foot, Darren shifted, letting out a growl that made my knees buckle.

'Enough! Josh, I swear if you make one more move...' I stopped mid-stride, suddenly unable to continue as Darren used his aura to incapacitate me. I felt a shiver run down my spine at the sound Darren's wolf filling my head. His voice was deep and the baritone caused my heart to race.

The tiger crouched over the little omega protectively, his eyes glinting a dangerous emerald. I was too focused on the myriad of conflicting emotions to notice Kaleb stand shakily and lean heavily into his mate as he attempted to calm the irate tiger.

"Zev, please..." The omega pleaded. I felt some of the domineering aura retract just a bit. Slowly, he laid down so that his head was just above Kaleb's shoulder. The runt immediately fell against him, burying his face in his mate's neck.

I wanted to scoff at the display but refrained.

'Stand. Down. Now.' Darren growled, baring his fangs at me. I huffed out a breath before moving to stand behind Darren. He shifted and I looked everywhere but his naked form. I knew the sight of his muscles bare and glinting under the moon's light would send my resolve spiraling down the drain.

"Kaleb, this isn't a request, you have to come back." Darren sighed. A growl rumbled through the tiger and it took everything in me not to kill him for growling at my mate.

"Zev will have to come with me," The runt said quickly. Darren nodded stiffly.

"As long as he agrees to control himself."

"He agrees." Kaleb murmured. Darren laughed half-heartedly.

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult returning one stray omega."

Annoying is more like it.

I huffed, drawing Darren's attention to me. Unfortunately.

"Speaking of control," Darren glanced over his shoulder, directing a death glare at me. "Return to the packed house now. That is an order." He commanded leaving absolutely no room for argument. I growled but backed away nonetheless. I didn't want to leave my mate unguarded with a possible threat, but he left me no room to refuse. I couldn't help but glare one last time at the happy newly mated couple.

I turned and ran as fast as I could. I had to get away from them. All of them. My brain was jumbled and I didn't know what I was feeling. The anger was fading and, in its place, came regret.

"I have to apologize, I don't know what's gotten into him," The distance between us was great, but I still managed to hear him say the words. My paws dug themselves into the ground. I knew that I was disobeying a direct order, but I couldn't just leave him out here completely alone. What if something happened? It was better if I was nearby.

I waited for him to catch up to me. I knew he was aware of the fact that I hadn't followed his orders. He was pissed and I could feel it through the link. A moment later his brown wolf was in sight, his golden eyes glaring daggers at me. I tried not to fold under his gaze, but it was proving to be rather difficult.

'Josh.' My mate growled, coming to a stop in front of me. 'I told you to get back to the house.'

'With all due respect, there was no way in hell I was going to leave you out here alone, dipshit.' I growled right back. Darren snapped his jaws in my face, he was not in the mood for my shit.

'What you did back there was reckless and stupid. Your dumbass could have gotten killed!' He snarled, moving so close to me our snouts nearly touched. You need to control your temper.

I snarled right back, despite the fact that every fiber of my being just wanted to crumble in front of him. I couldn't though. I refused to let him know that I belonged to him heart, body, mind, and soul. He didn't need a temperamental fuck like me holding him back.

'You think I don't fucking know that?!' I roared, chest heaving.

'Is the fact that you're not ignorant of the problem supposed to make what you did back there better?! You could have gotten killed you jackass!' He roared right back, taking a threatening step forward.

'Your concern is touching, truly, but I can handle myself, fucker.' I growled back lowly, standing my ground.

'I don't know what the hell has gotten into you in the past week, but if you're dead set on being an asshole then fine. When you're done being a dick come find me.' He huffed, moving past me. My body remained tense even after he walked by. I could literally feel my resolve breaking with each step he took away from me.

In hindsight, this was the moment that changed everything. The moment when everything fell apart. If only I had stopped being so stubborn and told Darren the truth right then and there. Instead, I let him walk away because I'm an idiot.

I took a breath before turning to make my way back as well. I had a feeling avoiding Darren wouldn't be so hard from now on. I had successfully pushed him away. 2 points for the in-denial-idiot-beta, 1 for the pissed off alpha-to-be. This victory didn't even feel like it was worth celebrating. I was getting exactly what I asked for but was losing my best friend in the process.

||

When I woke up the next morning my whole body felt weak, arguing with your mate who didn't know they were your mate was apparently not good for one's health.

No shit. You are straining the bond by not letting it grow so it's having negative effects on your body. My wolf decided to so graciously share his wonderous intellect. I groaned, leaving his comment unrefuted as I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. To say that I felt like shit would be an understatement.

I was supposed to be running the border with Darren but with the way things ended last night, I think we both needed some space to cool off. I didn't bother looking for him when I walked downstairs, stalker mode was turned off for the time being.

At the moment I wanted nothing more than to get this run done and over with so I could crawl back into my bed and wallow in my own misery. I had no appetite, so I passed by the kitchen without so much as a second glance.

I was greeted by a cool breeze and crisp morning air as I exited the pack house. The sun was probably a few hours from rising since it was still kind of dark outside. No one else seemed to be up right now and I honestly wasn't complaining. I jogged the rest of the way to the tree line, before slowing down to a brisk walk.

Thoughts of last night filled my head much to my annoyance. The argument between me and Darren had put a strain on more than just our mate bond, it was straining our friendship. If nothing else went right with this dumb plan of mine, the one thing I wanted to remain intact was my friendship with Darren. Sure, it would hurt like hell to see him happy with someone else, but at least he would be fucking happy.

The need to punch something began to grow in response to my wild emotions. This was how I was used to dealing with these types of things, by punching people in their face and enjoying the momentary relief I got from releasing at least some of the pent-up anger inside me.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I was no longer alone. I didn't see the blow coming, one second I was standing, the next I was on my back gazing into a face that had coal black eyes and a sinister smirk as my vision faded in and out before finally diming completely. I knew exactly who it was, but what disturbed me the most was the fact that I hadn't smelt their scent.

My last thought before I blacked out was that I wished I had ended things differently with my mate. Especially since I was probably about to die.

|| AUTHOR'S NOTE

The Alpha's Beta is officially back, now under the title BETA. I truly apologize for taking so long to get it back up. I truly appreciate your patience and I am eternally grateful to you all for sticking with me this long.

Love,

-J.T.