39 - Shaun

The long weekend flew by as she balanced time with her mother and Josh. When he kissed her, it felt right. A part of her wished he would ask her to move. He asked her out for New Year's Eve as if he had accepted a month apart in between. Shaun feared Tansy wouldn't be happy to return to Seattle. She stayed for Tansy in the hope Eliot would change his mind, but at what cost? She vowed to enjoy her weekend and save major decisions for Monday.

Emma and Oliver welcomed them into their beautiful home.

"You'd run in the other direction if you ever saw my house." It was her house, her trust owned it.

"Everyone says that. I grew up in a small home. Oliver's way out of my league."

Oliver grabbed his wife around the waist. "You are my league. Forever."

Jealousy pulsed through Shaun, and she blushed when Josh smiled at her. Meanwhile, Tansy crawled on the floor with the baby. She talked non-stop while Daphne looked up at her with enormous eyes.

Seeing Josh relaxed compared to at the Sinclair's caused her to feel guilty for inviting him to the pretentious meal. Oliver asked him about it.

"It was nice. Shaun gave me a full tour of the house."

"Can I have one?" Emma jumped like an excited kid.

Josh encouraged her. "You would love the attic. It's filled with antiques."

The attic again. Shaun fell asleep thinking about kisses and the attic.

Emma invited her into the kitchen while she prepared dinner. As Shaun helped by chopping vegetables, they talked about cooking and moved on to motherhood. Shaun shared how hard it was going back to work after twelve weeks.

Emma talked freely. "Our plan is to have one more, but not yet. Two years is a good spread. We each have a big gap with our siblings."

"I'm an only."

"Like Josh." Emma smiled. "You both understand life as an only. Would you like a sibling for Tansy?"

In a perfect world, she had wanted another baby. Cheating husbands proved the world wasn't perfect. "I did."

"You still could."

Shaun shrugged. "I understood with my mother's illness she wouldn't. My cousin and I are close."

Emma whispered. "Could she?"

Shaun smiled. "My parents were private, but I think technically she could. My father adored her."

When Emma reached up and wiped a tear, Shaun saw her as a friend. She wasn't selfish like Courtney. Everything was what Courtney wanted, including Eliot.

"Are you okay? Is talking about your father hard? I was thirteen when I lost my mother."

Shaun gasped. "Sorry. I didn't know."

"I won't say it was easy, but I survived. It was tough when my dad remarried, although I get on great with my step-mom now."

"Thanks for sharing. Josh said we'd get along. I hope you agree with him."

Emma smiled. "I already liked you. That's why I invited you." She whispered. "I didn't like Ann."

"She was nice, but..."

"But they didn't share the same interests. Joshy is all about family. He may be the only Roche child, but he's a Sumner brother. He and Oliver are tight. I knew I was getting a package deal." Emma laughed. "I got the better deal. Oliver got a cat with his nickname, and two gay men. One thrives on shocking others."

"I heard about the cat. Where is he?"

"Cats. Oliver had his own when we met. They are probably sleeping upstairs. My Duffy is lazy. Oreo is younger."

"We had barn cats, but not for a few years."

"You aren't allergic?" Shaun shook her head. "Is Tansy?"

"I don't know. I can't remember her being near a cat."

"We can check on the boys. I bet they've poured the scotch."

Shaun knew Josh enjoyed Jimmy's scotch. The scene in the living room was not what she expected. Tansy sat on Josh's lap watching football. There was no scotch as Daphne sat content on her father's lap. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a streak of black. Then a larger fluffy cat lumbered over.

"Kitty!"

Tansy tried to jump down, but Josh held her firm. "Peanut, fat, old Duff needs to meet you first. Let's see if he comes sniffing around."

She looked at Josh with bright eyes and stopped struggling. She was in love with him and Shaun knew she could easily follow.

Tansy pointed to Oliver. "Fat and old."

Emma started laughing uncontrollably. She wiped her eyes and kept going. Josh chuckled. "Peanut, two Duffs. The cat Duff is fat and old."

Oliver sneered. "Call him Duffy." Then he clicked and made a kissing sound to call Oreo over. She jumped up and walked past Daphne as the baby grabbed a fistful of black fur. The sleek cat walked over to Tansy and sniffed her.

She giggled. "Kitty."

"Pet her gently." Josh showed how to pet the kitty by holding her hand.

Emma, who had stopped laughing, stood next to Shaun. "He'll make a great father."

Shaun ignored her. She would have to agree or lie.

After visiting his friends, Tansy talked from the backseat while Josh drove. They looked like a family. With a quick kiss, Josh left. A part of her wanted him to stay longer, but she was tired. Before he drove away, he reminded her of their date.

The following evening, she dressed in a little black dress and Josh arrived at the house dressed up but without a tie and suit coat.

"Am I overdressed?" She looked down at herself.

He didn't look away as he shook his head. Stella cleared her throat and Josh jerked his head. "You are beautiful."

Not 'look' but 'are', and Stella approved. "He is right. Now you two have a wonderful dinner. Don't worry about us. Your mother and I will enjoy our last night with our girl."

Josh's lids drooped as his face sagged. "I need to say goodbye to her."

Shaun followed him into the atrium. Shaun used a gentle voice. "Sweetie, say goodbye to Dex. We have to go home in the morning."

Her face began to scrunch and Josh moved in and picked her up. "It's okay, Peanut. You'll be back for Christmas. I'll see you then."

She gave him one of her fierce squeezes. "I love you."

Josh's head dipped closer to her as he replied. "I love you, too, Peanut."

Shaun turned her head to look at Sarah to confirm she heard too. Her mother nodded. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks, Mom."

Josh talked softly to Tansy before kissing her forehead and letting her down. Shaun kissed her and reminded her to listen to Gran and Stella.

Josh let her walk ahead. When they reached the mudroom, he helped her with her coat.

"Goodbyes are hard. Tomorrow is Sunday. If I ride, you'll be gone."

"Will you ride?"

He shrugged. "But you are here tonight." His lips lightly brushed hers. "Let's enjoy ourselves."

He drove to a restaurant one town away. "I didn't see the point of going into Boston."

She was just happy to spend some time with just Josh. It had been a long time since she had a romantic dinner. As expected, Josh was a gentleman. Their conversation over wine was light. They revisited their weekend. The server appeared, and they ordered meals. She ordered pan seared scallops and Josh ordered the swordfish. She talked about salmon from the Northwest, as the conversation flowed.

When their meals came, they took turns asking questions, like their biggest pet peeve. For Shaun, people who drove through red lights.

"That's illegal. Am I a bad person if I say people in line who can't make up their mind. They should step out of line. I know Starbucks is confusing, but..."

Shaun laughed. "Are you a Starbucks die hard? I could never afford it, but..."

"But the douche spent your money on lattes?" She nodded. "I like coffee from home. Ann loves Dunkin."

"Did you bring her coffee?"

He blushed. "After my run."

"I didn't know you run?"

"Not every day. Weekends."

"You are so sweet going for coffee, all sweaty. She didn't appreciate you."

He shrugged. "It worked out. I didn't like her enough to give up my dreams."

"What are your dreams, Joshua Roche?"

"A family. I want my own family. That's my success." Shaun lifted her wineglass with a shaky hand. He could want anything and he chose the thing she cherished. "What does being successful in life mean to you?"

Shaun froze. "That's not easy. Except for Tansy to be happy."

"You as a person, not a mother."

"I thought it was being curator, but it feels like the same with more responsibilities. I want to be loved. Being told he never loved me hurt."

Josh didn't respond. He squeezed her hand and didn't let go. Others loved her, but she wanted an unwavering love like her parents.

Josh's voice sounded thick. "I hope we both get our dreams."

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