CHAPTER 1. part 1

( You've Got Me — The Greeting Committee)

   IT was nice that day.

   The wind billowed softly, a fresh breeze flitting through the summer air. The grass was fresh cut, its aroma flitting my senses – it was nice, it was quiet, it was calm.

   Adulthood is a funny thing, it was fickle and unkind, flippant and cruel. It was the wolf in sheep's clothing, the snapping jowls hidden under the allure of purity – oh such pity beheld the sacrificial lamb!

   In youth, adulthood is a dream – a freedom so far from reach it seems unattainable. It seems silly now, those fantastical ideas of liberties and pursuits of happiness now overshadowed by nightmarish realities that made that very same freedom – the one that tasted the same as my mama's apple pie now burned my throat like an acidic bile. 

   Mama had her heart set on me staying in Salem after graduation, go to the local college, find a nice boy, maybe marry him and give her some grandbabies to coddle and raise 'em up in an identical white picket fence taking them to the very same white chapel every Sunday – still wearing Miss Lauren's home sewn floral dresses.

   Mama meant well, she was a good woman. Always made her famous chicken noodle soup for anyone who was feeling unwell, put all her love into baking her apple pies. She raised me and my siblings up well and good, a kind guiding hand leading us – loved Augustus and Eugenia, even when they differed from who she wanted them to become, loved me despite the fact she was dooming me to the fate of a small-town wife.

   'Get out of there.' Gustus would plead, 'Livin' that little life will kill ya one day Augs, I'm sure of it.'

   In a metaphorical sense, I could see it. Daddy used to have big dreams tied with his guitar. He had a big voice – one of those big country singer tenors, the types that got rural town kids signed to those big city suits. He should've been famous, even Mama thought so to. But then his Daddy died, and his Mama's broken heart put her in a grave next to his – Daddy was meant for greater things, instead he ended up spending his days tilling for a farm he never wanted.

   The small-town life always did feel like a curse.

   I kept my woes to myself, bottling them up inside until the pen in my hand could jot down every thought onto the pages of my leather journal. The scent of smoked nicotine infused into its cream pages despite the amount of perfume sprayed to mask the scent. Cherry red lips wrapped about the butt of a Marlboro cigarette; a vice used solely on the roof of my childhood home – never to mare grand-mere's lace curtains. 

   Bonnie Rutherford, my best friend since childhood, knew some of thoughts and feelings, but never enough to know what monsters hidden in the closet gripped my throat. 

   Bonnie was kind, far kinder than I deserved. He was the sunshine after rain, the refraction of light that made the rainbow. He was a cold drink of water after a day outside, the first bite of food after a Sunday's fast. He was his daddy's pride and his mama's joy, the fruit of his predecessors' labors. 

   Bonnie was every ounce his mother, the kindness of her soul passed down to his own. He never laughed at another's expense, never jested shortcomings. He was handsome like his father, a rugged type that made the small-town life all the more appealing. He played rugby, that much was apparent by his lean muscles and broader build. 

   Bonnie Rutherford was a golden boy, tied together with a pretty boy smile and positive to boot. He helped old Mr. Andrews cross the street whenever he could, stayed after school to help the librarian – Mrs. Weston – put away all the returned books. He joined the school newspaper and was on student council with me.

   Bon was far too good for me, and yet – he stayed.

   "Penny for your thoughts?" There he was, sat next to me in the tall grass of his backyard. He wore his rugby jacket, a dark blue with a wide, white, strip along the sleeves. It was August, only a few more weeks before their senior year would begin. 

   I allowed myself to chuckle, a nice change from my tumultuous thoughts. "Just...everything I guess." Shoulders shrugging and nails chipping away at the paint lain over top. 

   "Everything?" He laughed, leaning his head against his arm to comfortably peer at me. He let that boyish grin befall his lips, a lightness glowing about him – I thought it looked best on him. 

   "What I mean is...this is our last year, I guess I wanna make it count."

   I shrugged my shoulders once more, lips pulling into a fine line before fleshing into a soft smile. I let my eyes trail to his own, the blue in them contrasting my own – the almost childlike wonder I could only dream of still holding. 

   "Make it count?" He chuckled. "I thought you wanted to just fly under the radar this year."

   "I'm talking about campaigning for prom queen or something," I rolled my eyes, scoffing out a laugh in jest, "Just, I want to amount to more than what my mama wants for me." 

   He knew what I meant, knew how I felt about becoming some hometown boy's wife – it scared me, it lit a rage within me. 

   Bonnie let out a sigh, turning his head back to look at his house. Dorothea was out front, swinging in the big tire tied to Miss Rutherford's old oak tree – white ribbons flowing with the wisps of her blonde hair and the flutter of her lace dress. 

   I let the silence swallow me, tugging at my stomach and twisting my intestines. A part of me never wanted to tell anyone my desires to leave this town. 'Just like that good for nothing brother of yours.' they'd sneer, 'what example are you setting for your sister.' I knew mama would fit tooth and nail to get me to stay, that daddy would sigh and try to get me to appease her. I knew everyone would gossip, act like me leaving was a betrayal to the community.

   I knew Bonnie would follow.

   Loyalty was his greatest weakness and his most prominent strength. He would never force me to stay in Salem, he knew me to well. 

   "I think...I don't think I can stay her much longer."

   I could feel his eyes shoot to me, my eyes staying pinned to the autumn sky. I didn't want to see his reaction, didn't want to chance seeing the look of hurt that would flash across his face.

   "What do you mean?" He asked, voice small.

   "I...never mind, it's stupid." I shook my head, taking a large breath through my nose.

   "Is there something wrong?" Bonnie sat up, facing his body to face mine. 

   "I guess 'Gustus got me thinking. I don't know, like I said, it's stupid."  I stayed laying down, shaking my head and attempting to change the subject, praying Bon would forget.

   "How you feel isn't stupid Auggie," I felt his fingers along my hair, letting my eyes close in bliss.

   "I wish we could stay like this forever." He whispered, laying against his back. His voice was soft, quiet enough for me to hear within the few inches between our bodies. I let my eyes travel back to fields beyond Bonnie's backyard – endless possibilities and yet the only one I wanted to delve into laid right next to me, in the very town I wanted to escape.

   "Forever's a long time Bon." A deep sigh escaped me, smiling softly.

   "Maybe," He shrugged, "but it never seems long enough."

KOREY SPEAKS !

first chapter slay!!!

What do y'all think?

Also, amazing graphic by tiishas that I just had to use for the imagery for this chapter!!

I love them so much!!