"I hope you dont kill me like your father did."

Min Yoongi was 8 years old when he caught his father having sex with his secretary. Which would have been fine; if his dad were single, or if his mom was also his father's secretary. But neither of those were true. Because his father was not married to his secretary and instead married to his mother, who had walked in on them moments after Yoongi had quietly caught them.

Min Yoongi was 8 years old when he watched any sort of life die from his mother's spirit and had realized that whatever his father had done was enough to ruin his mom for good.

"Sex ruins everything. It ruins families, and love and everything good."

"No wonder it's so taboo."

He still remembers the sound of keys and a purse falling to the ground and when he thinks a bit harder he swears he heard his mom's shaky breath under her mouth as she watched her husband fuck some random (not really random, the secretary-Rosie- came by often, and looking back Yoongi now knew why) woman on her husband's desk in the study.

Sex is a tempting and solatious act, when eyes cloud with lust and stare into another pair with the same sinful glaze it's as if a devilish bond is created in the air and as Yoongi got older, the thought of participating in something so evil makes him shiver in repulsion. Because whenever Yoongi tried to have sex (which was one, punishingly devastating time) he couldn't help but feel like his father, like he was ruining something good by offering himself in this manner.

And so when his mother, eyes dead and frown ever so downturned, uttered the words "I hope you don't kill me life your father did."

Well, that did nothing more than seal his fate as an incredibly lonely, sexually repressed and frustrated man.

He's beginning to think he should seek therapy of somekind, and honestly- maybe he should bring Jimin too.

Jimin and Yoongi sat at a bench along a small stream that probably lead to a lake of somekind. The air was crisp and a little chilly, the leaves were beginning to brown and cold winds nibbled gently at the hoodies. They sat side by side, their thighs touched but neither of them minded, nor had noticed how they slowly moved closer together throughout the day. Like they had magnets sewed and stitched elegantly into their pockets, barely seen but the effect still strong.

There was tension heavy and unspoken between the two despite how close they are. It had been a week since their talk, since Jimin had cried like a baby in Yoongi's chest and Yoongi had let him, whispering soothingly sweet nothings into his ear, as well as pet names he absolutely will deny he said if the topic ever came up.

They spent time together quietly since then, Jimin coming home from soccer practice to Yoongi sitting at the table with some dinner waiting for him. Jimin continuing to remind Yoongi that he didn't need to and Yoongi replying that he wanted to every time.

The two had certainly mellowed and their relationship felt like a calm ocean with the moon turning the water into bright sparkles. Whatever that means. Yoongi felt something undescribable around Jimin, and that's really the only way he could describe it.

Good, safe, warm, lo-

Okay, maybe there are other ways.

It's also noteworthy that since their talk, Jimin hadn't slept with anyone, hadn't gone to parties or spoken to anyone other than his close friends. Yoongi felt as if that was an improvement, and he hoped Jimin felt the same. Yoonig on the other hand, felt stagnant.

Suffocated in his own sex-fuelled dilemma- he wasn't sure if Jimin would understand- they had the exact opposite problems, Jimin was having too much sex (for reasons Yoongi still didn't know but was determined to) and Yoongi wasn't having enough.

Hell, he couldn't even fucking masterbate without shivering in anxiety and the time he had tried had been months ago. So he obviously wasn't fairing well, but he was powerless.

Again, he doubted that Jimin would understand- but it didn't really stop Yoongi from wanting to share.

"My dad cheated on my mom when I was 8." Yoongi said, slicing the silence between them with the sharp blade that was his confession.

'Oh my god' Yoongi thought, 'What the fuck am I doing'

"I saw him having sex with his secretary and I watched. The door was half open like they couldn't wait long enough to close it and I saw everything." Yoongi continued, he watched the water of the stream and the leaves dance as they moved to wherever they were going and from his peripheral he could see Jimin watching him- sending a little shiver up his spine that Yoongi decided it was best to ignore. "I sat one the staircase and watched as they fucked, watched as my mom walked through the front door, watched as she watched her husband fuck another woman, watched as the colour drained from my mom's face and her bag drop to the ground. My father saw and said the classic 'It's not what it looks like!' while the woman he fucked rushed past my mom like she was the victim. But she wasn't, looking back none of them were."

Jimin took this pause to glance at all the words forming in Yoongi's mouth, like someone loading a canon. "The real victim is you, isn't it."

Yoongi nodded, "Because now I can't have sex without feeling like my father, like some disgusting pig that let his lust and temptation get the best of him. Because I'm afraid of ruining anything good I have with anyone by giving myself away too much like my mom had. I haven't seen my dad since, but sometimes, I think to myself- maybe it's too late, maybe you turned out just like him and you don't even know it. It's scary, because I don't want to hurt my mom like he did, I try not to hurt anyone but in the end I hurt myself."

Jimin stayed quiet, he believed this was one of the times where Yoongi didn't need someone to give empty apologies or shallow, reused words of encouragement. This is the time where you
just listen- and silently- try and understand.

"i just want to be good." Yoongi finishes with a heavy sigh of relief, secrets locked inside a dark box in his chest finally open and is introduced to light. It feels good, being able to talk and have someone simply listen.

He wanted Jimin to have the same thing.

"You know- if you want- you can talk too, I don't have to say anything, I'll just listen, thanks- for listening- by the way" Yoongi said, and despite playing with his thumbs and keeping his gaze on the stream, he could see Jimin nod beside him.

Jimin hasn't taken many leaps of faith with people before, and he suposes it's never too late to try. So, he takes a breath before speaking.

"My mother sold me for sex until I was 16."

________
Yeeeaaaahhh now we're getting somewhere.
I feel like my writing style changes with every MF chapter and I hate it 🙄

Anyway what do we think of this?