- you can listen to the song above, 'All I Want' by Kodaline (slowed version) while you read this chapter; just to get you in the feels:')

domitilla peyton

*~.FLASHBACK.~*
          -year 1-

'What are you doing?' I asked, perching up on the edge of a big rock that I sat on.

He lay there, on the sunbaked dirt, blades of grass shuffling as his hand curved across the parchment beside him.

'Drawing.'

It had gotten so hot, the beads of apple juice evaporated from the sides of our glasses. The sun's ambers peeked through the tall mansion's roof, illuminating its buttered light across our seated places in Draco's garden.

I watched him with care, admiring how focused he looked. Blonde bangs of hair spilled out over his forehead; it was normally never careless like this. His father had been ordering him to style it back ever since we started school, but he had to leave today, and so Draco's done the rebellious thing to scruff it up when he's not here.
His rosy, apple cheeks beamed against the warmth of sunlight, and a relaxed smile tugged at the corner of his careful lips.

It had been 2 months now since Mum died. I still remember it, although I wish I didn't. The Malfoys took me in after. I had already spent half the summer with them already; before we start second year.

'What are you drawing, then?' I asked, laying on my stomach, chin in my palms.

His eyes flickered towards mine, immediately flashing a proud grin. He grabbed the parchment carefully with his small hands, sitting up and shuffling closer to me.
I glanced down to look. There were two people. Two kids. A boy and a girl, both smiling. They held hands together.

He pointed at the boy,

'That's me.'

Then he pointed at the girl,

'And that's you.'

He smiled softly, looking at me for approval. I smiled back, from ear to ear. He continued,

'It's you and me. Always and forever, right?'

I hugged him tight, the sun-dried grass scratching our little legs.

'Always and forever.'

They say 'It'll get better.'
But when? I'm done waiting. I've waited and waited. To feel something. Anything. I feel nothing. Nothing but just breaking, as I lay on my bed, numbly reminding myself to get up, but never actually doing it.

I needed to get up and wipe the bloody mascara off my cracked cheeks. It's been days I've been in my room, with only Lyra to keep me company when she had free periods, and to give me food.

I needed to get up and change my clothes. I needed to fix my sleep tangled hair, and get my life together. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to do anything.

My stiff body heaved up, pushing back the thick blankets over me. I stood up, my limbs aching, as I trudged my way over the the bathroom. My face never looked more disgusting in the mirror.
Days old mascara imprinted on my sore, pale cheeks. My swollen lips, eyebags the size of continents, terrifying hair; I looked like a caveman. I didn't even know what day it was, or what everyone else was doing at that moment. There could've been an earthquake, but all I felt was my own heart cracking and trying to repair itself.

I grabbed a makeup wipe, rubbing away the residue of blush and mascara that have run down my face. I brushed my hair out, tying it into an attempt of a bun with a scrunchie, and placing some butterfly clips to keep my curtain bangs back. I changed into some new pairs of clean black joggers and green sweats. Improvement.

'You look stunning, babes.' I heard Lyra's voice behind me, and she leaned against the door, a warm smile on her face.

I sighed, cracking a weak smile back. I felt my eyes water slightly, and I sniffed shakily, trying to hold them back.
She rushed towards me, taking in a bone crushing hug, as I let out a small sob.

'How are you feeling?' she asked.

'Dead.' I laughed weakly.

She pulled away, a pitying frown on her lips,
'I'm so sorry, love.'

'It just feels like... I'm lost. In a way. Like... now I just don't know what to do.'

She wrapped her arms around me again, tightly. I chuckled, 'It's okay. I'll be okay.'

'If it makes you feel any better...It's snowing.' she jazzed her hands in an attempt to break a smile out of me. It worked. I giggled, grinning back,

'Really?'

'Yeah, we need to go outside to the courtyard after dinner. Rivera's building a snowman with us.'

'Hugo?'

'Yeah, he says he's sorry for what happened to you.'

My lips turned up, slowly feeling my old energy again, 'He probably has a fat crush on you let's be fair.'

'What? No...we're just friends.'

I rose my brows up, making a face like 'come on now'.

'Yeah, yeah,' she smirked, then sighed, hugging me again, 'Just don't worry too much, okay love? Malfoy doesn't deserve you, he's a dick.'

Right on cue, a soft knock rapped against the door.

'Who is it?' Lyra yelled from the bathroom.

A voice mumbled, 'Draco.'

I gulped, fiddling with my fingers. Lyra groaned, her fists clenched hard. She was about to walk out, before turning to me and whispering, 'I'm gonna kill him.' Then she disappeared, the sound of the door clicking as silence obscured my senses.

draco malfoy

'What the fuck do you want?' Lyra barged our of their room, glaring at me.

I sighed, feeling my eyes sink into my sockets. These past few days, I've not gotten any sleep. I just wanted her next to me again. I wanted to see her beautiful face, hear that beautiful voice, touch that beautiful skin. But there was no way I was going to get past her bitchy friend.

'I don't want anything from you,' I scowled, 'I want to talk to Domi. Please.'

She laughed. A sarcastic laugh, 'Are you hearing yourself right now? Why does everything have to do with you? And what you want? Do you actually think Dom wants to even look at you right now?'

'I-'

'You're such a scumbag, Malfoy.'

'Lyra, I just need to see her. I need to, please.' I pleaded, rubbing my weak eyes from the lack of sleep.

She examined me, 'You look awful.'

'Thanks.' I scoffed, exhaling an exasperated sigh, shoving my frozen hands into my robe pockets, 'So? Are you going to let me through?'

'Just fuck off, will you?' she spat, turning around to open the door. Before she reached the handle, I shoved myself in front of it, blocking her away from the entrance.

'Please, Lyra. Please.'

She gave me a hateful glare, 'Have you even thought about what she's feeling right now? Do you know what it's like for her? It's like...the one person who can fix her heart, just...broke it.'

My bottom lip trembled, as I felt tears fog my eyes.

She continued, 'You might think that she's just some replaceable person, but she loves you, Draco. She really does, and I don't think she'll ever stop. That's what it's like. To be heartbroken. So well done, you bloody dick.'

I watched Lyra shove me away, before slamming the door in my face. Tears trickled down my cold cheeks, and my feet sank into the floorboards beneath me.

-

domitilla peyton

'You're supposed to roll it like this, moron.' Lyra laughed, demonstrating her snowman making technique to Hugo, who chuckled back sarcastically,

'Yours is too fat to be a snowman. Mine's cuter. Look! It even has a hat.' he stuck his tongue out at her, patting down his snowman.

She rolled her eyes, giggling as we all worked on our creations. I may have been third wheeling, but it felt comforting, being with them. Although, it did feel lonely watching them both play around like a couple.

I smiled, wiping dusts of snow off my puffer jacket and joggers. I shivered, blowing out puffs of cold air as I rubbed my uncovered hands together. I walked over to the tree by our snowmen, resting against it as I just watched the birds flutter across the sky.

A few boys walked past, rushing towards the thick covered snow, and skidding along it like wild animals, whooping and laughing. All of a sudden, a figure collided, stumbling over and landing over my own body. I looked to my side to see a sleeve covered arm, and a pale hand, which was adorned with that silver metallic ring, holding themselves in place on the tree beside me. I looked in front of me. His ruffled, blonde hair fell over his eyes which were kept down towards the floor. His breaths were slightly shocked, as we both gained awareness of what just happened.

'Sorry,' he began, then his eyes locked with mine, 'I didn't-'

'Domi.' he breathed.

It'd been days since I've seen that face. Those gorgeous, blue eyes. He wore thick layers of jackets, black wellington boots, and a fur snow hat, making him look even more adorable than I could've imagined. Dainty, frosted snowflakes jewelled his platinum lashes, and his cheeks and nose bloomed a flowery pink. Despite the handsomeness of it all, he looked...miserable. He sniffled, abruptly scrambling up and taking a small step away from me to keep space. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket,

'Hey,' he spoke softly.

'Hey.'

'...Can we talk?'

Great. Now he wanted to talk. 'We have nothing to talk about,' I muttered, nudging at the snow with my feet.

'Please?'

I looked up at him, pressing my lips together, 'Not here.' I glanced back at Lyra and Hugo, who were conveniently busying themselves by patting their snowmen. I grabbed Draco's elbow, manoeuvring him to another nearby tree, where we both stood behind it. I leaned my back against the bark, crossing my arms together,

'What is it?' I mumbled.

'Dom...I'm- I'm sorry.' he looked into my eyes carefully.

'Is that it?'

'What- yes. No-no, I mean no. Let me explain.'

'Go on.'

'That bet. It didn't mean anything. I may have not liked you at first, but- but I liked you ever since that ball. I know I fucked up-'

'You always fuck up Malfoy.' another voice spoke behind us. We both turned around. Cedric stood there, his face in a frown as he glared at Draco. 'It's all you ever do. The only thing you're really good at, is being a dick.'

Draco's fists clenched, as he shot a hardened face back, 'This is a private conversation, Diggory. Between me and my girlfriend. Why don't you go make snow angels with your Hufflepuff friends? Or maybe there's a little badger hole you can crawl back into.'

'Fuck you.' he said. To me, he warned, 'I knew something like this would happen. He's not good enough for you, he'll never be. He's only hurting you, Domi.' then he turned back at Draco, 'You will not talk to her anymore.'

Draco's jaw twitched as he stiffened, his fists shaking a little, 'I will do what I fucking want.'

'That's why you're not good for her. You Slytherin dickheads just have no self control, do you? Always lashing out when you can, eventually hurting others. She deserves someone better.'

He scoffed, 'She's mine, Diggory. Don't even think for a second she'll ever be yours.'

Cedric let out a short stubborn laugh, 'You sound like a baby, you know that?'

Panic rose in my chest as I saw Draco walk over to him with purpose, 'You want to fucking say that again?'

'Stop it!' I pulled Draco's arm back. He didn't budge, still glaring at Cedric, who shot him a glare back.

I felt myself get angrier by the second. My fists clenched, as I watched them both, 'What is wrong with you two?' I shouted.

They both spun around, facing me. I exhaled, 'I'm not an object! So stop treating me like one.'

Draco's eyes softened, as guilt crept onto his face. He tried to speak, but I cut him off,