~Samhoe~

Samus: Link I have tea

Link: oh you're texting me? Now that's surprising
Link: need me to satisfy your weird Ike fantasies?

Samus: Stfu asshole

Link: nice insults

Samus: Fuck off

Link: bye 🌚

Samus: Hold it
S: This concerns you

L: does it now?
L: what

S: You like Zelda don't you?

L: yeah so

S: Well you know how she ran off to check on Ike after he got injured

L: uh huh
L: what, did he try something on her?
L: if he did I swear I'll break more than his other leg

S: Well not exactly
S: Zelda didn't leave the hospital until this morning

L: that seems like a Zelda move
L: why does this concern me?

S: They kissed
S: Zelda likes Ike, Link
S: they like ✨each other✨

L: oh
L: ok and?

S: What do you mean "and"?
S: Arent you gonna do something?!

L: why should I

S: idk maybe because YOU LIKE HER

L: and she likes Ike
L: if she likes Ike more than me there's nothing I can do
L: plus Ike is a way better match for her than I am

S: Are you fucking serious right now

L: ye

S: You're insane
S: What kind of guy gives up on a girl when they find out she likes someone else?

L: one with common sense?
L: and trust me, I know very well I'm insane
L: but tbh you might be more insane than me

S: I'm not insane
S: I just want the guy I like to date me
S: Isnt that normal?

L: yeah but not when that guy likes someone else and you want to ruin their chance at getting together
L: you know what that's called?
L: ✨extreme possession✨

S: FUCK YOU
S: IF YOU DONT DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS I WILL EXPOSE YOU

L: oh noooo so scaryyyy
L: lmao you can't expose me Samus
L: you know how well I cover my tracks
L: plus the need to expose me will soon become useless

S: What do you mean

L: you think I'm telling you?

S: Tell me asshole

L: lol nope
L: bye bitch

S: I'm gonna fucking expose you to everyone at school

L: and how exactly?
L: you have no evidence
L: no one will believe you

S: No evidence that you remember 👀

L: what

S: let's just say, while you may be a heavyweight, sometimes too much is too much

L: you