I pulled out a piece of paper that the old women on the train this morning had so graciously let me use and flattened it out on the desk beside me.

“The Ingenious Revenge Scheme?” Jordan asked referring to the title at the top of the page.

“Focus Wilder” I clicked my fingers in front of his face, getting his attention. “This is serious.”

“Yes very serious, you need to think of a new name, or better yet give it a code name, you know, just in case he finds the paper.” He went on and on about possible code names and their usefulness in keeping the list’s identity a secret. I opened my mouth ready to say something but closed it again when I realized he was right. It did sound kind of suspicious, maybe I do need a code name, what would it be? Oh how about… ‘Taking out the trash.’

“We can think of names latter.” I waved my hand in the air moving the topic from my mind and trying to drag my attention back to my priceless piece of paper.

“Ok, so why am I looking at a list?” He asked me. Well geez I thought that was obvious, clearly not.

“It’s a list of all the things I am going to do to him before I kick him to the curb.”

“Why not just dumb him and move on?” Where’s the fun in that? What ever happened to revenge?

“You were supporting my ideas last night.” I pointed out. Somehow this really was all his fault. He put the idea in my head and now I had my mind set, this is what I wanted to do.

“You remember that?”

“Of course, I can hold my liquor.” I smiled at him, my index finger pointing to my temple, indicating I have a good memory.

“Yes and I am so sure my toilet can attest to that.” What is he talking about?

“What are you talking about?” I asked trying to clarify, maybe I was missing something.

“You were talking about your list?’ He moved on changing the subject.

“Oh yes right. Well this morning I was thinking, I was on to something last night, I want my revenge, I want to make him hurt, embarrassed and just scream with everything I’m going to do. I want to make him wish he never even looked at another girl.” I told him and by the look on Jordan’s face, he was fully supporting me.

“Right, but last night the only things you were planning were to kill him with an ice block and decapitating him.” Yeah ok you have a point but they were ingenious in their own right - if you ever needed a very uncommon and creative way to kill someone then my ice block idea and a hot frying pan were at the top of the list.

“Well I’ve improved on from that, obviously.” I rolled my eyes and picked up the piece of paper shoving it in his face for his review.

His brow creased for a minute and his gaze returned to me. “Number one; Public humiliation via…” he paused for a moment and closed his eyes as if it pained him to say it. “Whoopee cushion?”

“What is wrong with a whoopee cushion?” I asked my uncertainty eating at me. Ok so it wasn’t the best one on the list but it was my first and the very first thing I thought of when I said I wanted to make him embarrassed.

“It’s a whoopee cushion!” he repeated.

“Hey you can’t bet the classics.” I defended my idea and folded my arms over my chest defensively. Who ever invented the whoopee cushion deserved a medal and a knighthood, I mean that was most ingenious idea ever, and it will forever last throughout the ages.

“Right then. These better get better.” He shook his head in disapproval as his eyes focused back on the list.

“Oh, believe me they do.” I muttered confident in my list.

He continued reading through the list, an occasional smile taking hold of his lips as he went. There were only twelve so far but like twelve days till Christmas, this was twelve days of revenge – although it will probably take me a lot longer than twelve days to get through them all, what with planning and setting them up and some of the pranks may last for more than one day.

“Number four; Habanero pepper juice?” He asked confused. He looked up at me and moved the list out of the way.

I smiled, that was one of my favorites and the one I was probably going to enjoy the most.

“What the hell are you going to do with Habanero pepper juice? Make him drink it” I giggled a little at the thought, now there’s an idea.

“No, I am going to soak his secret stash of condoms in the juice and so when he goes to use them let’s just say it’s going to be hot for all the wrong reasons.” I explained smiling like the joker’s apprentice.

I saw his tense and scrunch up his face. “Ouch.”

“Don’t feel pity, he deserves it.”

“I know, I know” he held up his hands defensively. “Relax, I’m just thinking that, that is going to hurt like hell.”

“Damn right it is.” I mumbled as he went back to reading the list. Was twelve enough? Should I have done eight? Or ten? But some of them weren’t that bad.

“Hormone replacements.”

“Yeah, I always said he’d make a better girl than a guy.” I chirped and swung my legs a little, that was another one of my favorites.

“I’m not going to even comment on that one.” He continued down the list.

“Which?” I asked a little curious as to which one he was referring to.

“Number 7.” Oh. Yeah the one is a little juvenile I guess… but it will make for one hell of a laugh.

“Yeah, I don’t know, I kind of like that one.”

“Oh I’m sure.” He continued once again.

I was trying to think of what I had written on there and I knew that some of them were really good and others, well not so good, but I was determined to do them, after all this was my revenge. I looked at Jordan as he read over the final points. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was showing this to him, perhaps it was the need for approval, the need for him to understand, and possible for him to help.

“Can I ask you something?” I questioned in all seriousness.

“Has that ever stopped you before?”

“Will you help me? I mean a couple of these would have to happen at work to get the most out of them, you know to embarrass him.” And I really wanted your help and expertise.

“Of course, you didn’t even have to ask, I wouldn’t miss this for the world, oh and I may have one more to add to your list, although you may not like it.” He beamed at me. I think he was going to have more fun than I was, who was I to ever second guess asking for his assistance.

“What?” I asked cautiously.

“How do you feel about super glue?”

My eye brows raised and a partly shocked look took hold of my face, did he just say super glue? I thought for a moment of all the things I could super glue and just how embarrassed he’d be if he had to go to hospital with two particular body parts glued together. “I like you’re thinking.” I smiled devilishly at him. This was going to be fun.

“Yeah I thought you might.” He took a pen and wrote down another idea. Unlucky number thirteen.

“Good. But I have a few suggestions, to make sure you don’t get sued for anything and well… to protect you.” He told me getting out a notepad and his pen. He began to write things down as he spoke to me.

“Here’s what you’re going to do, you’re going to open a new and secure account only in your name, and every few days from now until the day you end it you will take some money out and transfer it, you will make sure all of your pay and any other income you are owed goes to this account also. I will have my lawyers look into your apartment and see if we can get your name off the contract and organize a payout contract and a way of protecting your half of the assets.” He told me not looking up from his note pad and pen.

“And on the day you are ready to leave, while he is at work, moving men will move everything you want to keep into storage, the rest you can pawn. You will leave him a note, or letter, or whatever it is you want to do and then you call me when every things in place.”

“And then What?” I asked, wondering how this is all going to end. And what exactly Jordan planed on doing.

“Then when I fire him and send him home, he will be alone, without you and realizes just how much he screwed up. You will then move on with your life and live happily ever after.”

“Wow, maybe you should give writing Disney films ago, with ending’s like that, they fit right in.” I joked. Was there even such a thing as happily ever after? And what makes him think that I won’t just get cheated on again? The urge to go out there now and scream at Broody, asking him why he would do this, and exactly I did wrong came back to me. Maybe it was closure I was looking for, maybe that’s what I wanted to gain, but would I get that by not even finding out why?

He chuckled a little and shook his head from side to side a moment. Finishing up his writing he looked at me, all traces of amusement gone from his eyes.

“How about I have someone deal with all of the legal side of things and you focus on the list.” He suggested, obviously seeing my discomfort with the idea of having to move everything and reorganize my life.

Did I trust him enough to do that? That was no real question. Of course I did, he was the only man I trusted at this present moment in my life. “Deal.”

He smiled sweetly and gave me back the list. “So what’s the code name to the Ingenious Revenge Scheme?”

I thought about it for a moment and remember the Rat Bastard’s smug face. “How about; the Rat Exterminator?”

“RE for short?” He counted. RE? It just didn’t have the same ring to it.

“Well look who’s too lazy to say the full name.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You could just call it Rat.” He tried again to shorten it.

“That’s not as fun.” I ignored him and grabbed hold of the pen and paper.

“Fine then Rat Exterminator it is.”

I smiled and did a thin line over the original name and wrote Rat Exterminator just below it. It was now official.

“So when do we start?” Jordan asked leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head showing off his impeccable muscles – yes I can now openly perve and admire the impeccable male form, and when I’m ready, touch it without feeling guilty or like I’m cheating. Why the hell did I ever get into a relationship in the first place?

“Now!” I jumped off the desk and headed for the door only to stop dead in my tracks. I turned around on my heel remembering that I lack the supplies to fulfill any number on the list. Damn!

“Here start with this.” Jordan said totally amused, he opened up his top draw and pulled out… is that a whoopee cushion? And threw it at me. I caught it with my cat like reflexes and turned it over in my hands with a totally confused look in my face. “My brother has a funny sense of humor.” Was his only explanation. Right then.

I started walking over towards the door and stopped remembering something every important.

“Do you know where my car is?”

“I sent my driver out to look for it, we assumed it was where ever you got drunk last night, at least you had the brains not to drive.” He said going back to his work.

“Right well thank you.”

I went to walk out again, this time making out of the door. I walked over to the elevator and climbed in pressing the tenth floor. The doors were shutting when an arm quickly caught it. Jordan peered the doors opened and walked inside.

“What now?”

“I told you I’d help, but I have to see what it is I’m investing in.”

“Meaning?”

“This will be the perfect test of your acting skills.”

“Right well, I’ll be sure to make a scene before he sits down, you know so everyone is looking.”

“You won’t need a big scene to get their attention.” I heard him mutter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked as the doors pinged open. He looked at me and smile, his hand gesturing for me to walk through.

I took a deep breath calming my nerves. It’s show time.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

So that is a little preview of the list. I will update a copy of the list after I finalize it, the ones mentioned are defiantly my favorites.

So tell me, if you were in Mia’s position what would you revenge list include. Or are you the type to just let it slide?

Please Vote and Comment.

~Dream_big96