By the time I had officially come to terms with my situation it was past two, meaning I had only three hours left to get to work – not that there was any point in going and not that I had any real excuse for being so late apart from I had to nurse a hangover, start my revenge scheme on the cheating bastard I called a fiancé and find my car which I had so elegantly left at a run of mill bar last night. How I even got from this place to Jordan’s condo on the other side of the city was beyond me. Although walking would explain the blister I can feel on the bottom of my foot.

Looking at my car I was horrified. There she laid, held up by three bricks, her beautiful red body scratched like shredder from ninja turtles had decided to use her as a sharpening tool. Her windows were smashed in and bits of graffiti were scribbled all over her.

My mouth has been gaping open for the past half hour as I looked at her. Why?

I shook my head as I approached her once beautiful frame. We had so many great times together, the times you broke down on the freeway, the road trips we went on, the speeding finds we collected and then hid from my step dad and Broody. Why did this have to happen to you? I was such a bad parent.

“Mia, the tow truck is here.” Joe said from behind me. He said we should just walk away and claim someone stole it, that way I would probably get more for the insurance but then I realized I may have been a bit late with that payment and so his advice was have her scrapped for parts so that I may have enough money to find a little cheap car that would take me from A to B. She didn’t have much to bargain for but Joe assured me that her engine – which, for some weird reason the people who trashed my car and stole my tiers didn’t take – was worth a bit and would help.

I nodded and said my goodbyes to my car before retreating to the town car. I looked over and watched in horror as the team hooked up my car and pulled it onto the tray, the metal scraping against the concrete parking lot as it went. They had argued relentlessly about the best way to do it, most of them seemed to think that they should just pull it apart now but Joe said no as it would cost me more money for their time. They buckled up what was left of my car and drove off down the street, headed for the nearest junk yard to dumb my car and pawn the parts.

I looked over and found Joe on the phone, his head nodding in understanding a couple of times before hanging up. He walked back over to me and smiled warm heartily. “It would appear that I am to be your personal driver until you can find other suitable arrangements.” He said, putting extra emphasis on the ‘suitable’ part. Who gets to decide whether or not something is suitable or not?

I was in no state to argue at the present moment. I had no car and no idea how I was getting anywhere without his assistance, my only other option was public transport and not only would that cost me more in money but also time, waiting for trains, trams and busses.

“Thank you so much Joe.” I thanked him, walking over and giving him a hug. I needed a hug in this moment, I had just given my car to the grave yard to have her organs ripped out, a hug was just the start of what I needed.

“You’re welcome. Now, where to?”

I stopped and pondered that question for a minute. I only had about an hour, maybe two left of work after all the time, waiting for the tow truck, watching them pull it on and now driving to work. There was no point in going at all. I was just going to have to convince a doctor that I have a cold and ask for a medical certificate, at least that way I can get paid for the day.

Where to go?

I didn’t want to go home and Julie was probably still at work so I couldn’t go to her place. How about…

“Let’s go shopping Joe.” I beamed and turned around headed for the front seat. There was no need to sit in the back.

Joe looked a little stunned and taken a back for a moment but quickly recovered himself. Jumping in the car we drove – well, he drove; I changed the radio stations like there was no tomorrow – to the nearest shopping center. Joe let me out exclaiming that he had to run an errand for Mr Wilder and would be back once I had called him and asked to be picked up.

Waving goodbye I took out my list from my back pocket and examined it for a moment. What do I need to buy? Walking over to the first shop I saw – one of those little stores that popped up in the middle of the walk away – and asked to borrow a pen, when you ask someone for a pen, in a public place, such as earlier this morning on the train and now at a shopping center, I’ve found people look at you like you’ve just asked for a pig that poops gold. But then as always they recover themselves and grant me my pen.

I flattened the paper out on the desk and crossed off ‘Number one; Public humiliation via Whoopee Cushion’ with a big smile on my face and handed the pen back to the sales assistant. I walked over and grabbed a trolley, I might as well do some grocery shopping while I’m here, that way it won’t be suspicious at all about me walking out with so many… interesting items. Walking up and down the aisle ways I strated to grab the things that no one would think twice about; the bread, the eggs, milk, pasta, you know, the basics. Then I found the juice aisle. My plan was to use Habanero pepper juice, but was it the best one to use in the way I wanted it to? I looked around for an employee would could answer my question… although I couldn’t exactly say what I was going to use it for, I just want to clarify.

One hot bottle of Habanero Juice, the best dye’s that take the longest time to wash out and the best bottle of hair remover latter, I was really starting to feel sorry for this poor guy. I had basically dragged him around the aisle ways asking which was better, although I think now he might be on to me.

“So which super glue is better?” I asked tossing up between the two brands, I was heading towards the purple one.

“Well it depends, what are you gluing?” He asked me fishing around once again for answers. He seemed to have too much curiosity, especially after our little dye conversation in which he basically found out that I wanted to stain the skin for at least a couple of days.

“Um, let’s just say I need it to work really fast, like as soon as it touches.” Yeah cause that wasn’t suspicious at all.

He flashed me a rather confused look before grabbing my right hand and holding it up higher. “This one.”

“And you swear it will glue really quick. Like as soon as it touches.” I asked demonstrating how fast I want it to glue with my thumb and forefinger.

He grabbed my fingers stopping them, a wide smile plastered on his face as he tried not to laugh. “More like this” he said as he moved my fingers slowly, for about five seconds and then stopping. “As long as it’s slow, it showed stick.”

Oh don’t worry; I can’t make sure it’s slow.

Smiling I thanked him and put the super glue in my trolley and started walking away.

“I hope it all goes well, whatever it is you’re doing!” He called after me making me turn around and face him. I chuckled a little and shook my head, blushing. I knew he was on to me.

“Don’t worry, it will.” I called back and headed for the checkouts.

Now all I had to do was go to the chemist and I was set. I knew that the hormone replacements that I did have access to weren’t the best, and probably wouldn’t give me the best results but with my meddling, I will have the guy curled over in the corner crying about how he is getting fat and how much his boobs hurt – welcome to the world of being a girl.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

I endured the long walk to Julie’s house after getting a lift home from Joe. I put everything away and planned out how exactly I was going to execute them, the most easiest of them was ‘number three; summoning the demon: call his mother’ which I know really doesn’t sound exciting but it will piss him off to the extreme and give me a week holiday since I will just happen to have a conveniently placed ‘work trip’ during that week which leaves Broody all alone with his dragon of a mother and her obsessively complaining and constant fussing. Last time she visited she showed up at his work un announced and showed his whole office, his naked baby photos and the new underwear she bought him – fluro pinks, yellows and my favorite the ones with the little hearts. It was a safe assumption that she would take the pressure off me when the time comes.

Getting to Julie’s I let myself in and put on the kettle, making sure that I called out to her that I was here just in case we had a repeat of the last time when she had company over and let’s just say he wasn’t a shy guy.

Grabbing two mugs I started to make the coffee and prepared myself for what was to come. The constant ‘I told you so’ and when I show the list the ‘I’m so proud of you’. Well at least I think that will be her reaction.

Julie came out of her room wearing her track pants and baggy jumper that I’m pretty sure belonged to her brother, since it was three sizes too big for her. Her hair was in no direction in particular, but going everywhere and anywhere it wanted and her eyes were slightly glassy. Oh shit.

“Jules, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just had a bit of a meltdown at work today. I started yelling at some poor in-turn and probably scare the kid to death and then started crying, just like that.”

“You started crying. No I don’t believe it.” I joked around in a posh accent trying to lift her mood. She smiled and gave a small chuckle before sniffing and looking around for something to shift the topic and the tension too. I knew this move of hers, it was the one she did when she really didn’t want to talk about it and just move on. So being the friend I am, I figured I shouldn’t push her… and I knew the perfect distraction.

“Well then, fasten your seat belt because you are about to laugh your ass off.” I beamed at her, grabbing the coffee’s and my list and moving over to sit on the couch next to her. I gave her my list and watched her confuse face pull together while she reached for her coffee.

“What is this?”

“That is my Ingenious Revenge Scheme, also known as the Rat Exterminator.” I said before moving on to explain why I had a revenge plot and what I intended to do.

Her reactions went according to plan.

“I told you he was a no good, dirty, rotten, cheating bastard!” She all but yelled and I could feel your pride build up and her mood lighten.

“I know you did, and from now on I swear to trust your judgment.”

“Thank you, It’s nice to be appreciated and not just called an over protective… or was it paranoid?”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” I waved her off and sipped my coffee while she examined the list.

“So you’ve already done number one?”

“Yep. It went perfectly.”

“When did you do this?”

“This morning.” I answered hesitantly.

“While you were supposed to be at work?”

“Um yeah about that…” I started to explain my nocturnal activities, including the demise of my car and the failed seduction attempts that landed me with a new ally, Jordan Wilder. Julie’s reaction to this was a little… unknown and rather confusing. She was surprised and rather proud that I had an ally with money and power who was going to help me and in the end fire the Rat Bastard. But on the other hand she seemed a little cautious which had me confused.

“Are you sure you can trust him?”

“He is the only man I trust right now, and besides, his given me not reason to.” I told her letting my confused facial expression cross over my face.

“Ok then, just be careful ok. He may not be who he says he is.” She warned me and I had the feeling she was holding back from me. I went to ask her about it more but she quickly changed the subject and started planning out the next plot which she made sure she had a part in.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

So the cupboards are stocked and the plan is in place, which one will she use next?

I’m asking because I have no idea yet. But whatever it is, Jordan is sure to be there ;)

And what do you think? Would you trust Jordan? Or would you heed the warning of your friend? Decisions, Decisions.

Please Vote and Comment.

~Dream_big96