Chapter 3: Losing Myself

Song: Losing Myself by State Champs

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The next day, the same routine followed.

Stacy was already there and had a bunch of pastries and breads all ready to go. Then all I had to do was make fresh cupcakes and get them in the case.

I had another one of my books open on the counter and at least got a few glances while I worked. My mom again had to be somewhere, but it didn't bother me. It gave me chance to actually breathe when she wasn't here.

By noon, I had red velvet, vanilla, chocolate, and snicker doodle cupcakes in the case. We've had a few people come in, but not many. Our busiest hours are usually between noon and two because of the lunch hours.

"Hey, Stacy," I started, "If you want to take a break, I can take over for a bit."

She sighed behind me. "Let me finish this order of muffins and then I will. I need a cup of coffee anyway. But I won't take a long one because a crowd will be rushing in any minute."

There were already two people here. Most likely a couple of college kids because they looked to be studying.

Then the bell rang above the door.

I didn't bother looking until I felt Stacy nudge my ribs. Benji was walking up to the counter, worn out Vans and all. He had a smile on his face as he stepped up to the counter. "Hey," He said.

"Hi," I replied and slightly smiled. "What are you craving?"

"Same as yesterday would be perfect."

I walked over to where Stacy was and grabbed a white glass plate before walking back to the case and pulling out a vanilla cupcake. Next I got his cup of coffee and slid both to him. He sat on the other side of the unoccupied stools and took a sip of his coffee first off.

"Let me know if you need anything else." I smiled again.

He nodded as I turned around. "And, Lucy?"

I stopped and turned back around. "Yeah?"

Benji pointed to his cheek. "It's either sugar or flour."

Oh, God. "Uh, thanks," I murmured and wiped at my now burning cheek. "Gone?"

He shook his head. "Almost."

I roughly ran the back of my hand over my cheek again and let out a frustrated sigh. "Now?"

Benji narrowed his eyes and looked at my cheek. "Good enough."

I walked back over to Stacy before I did something stupid like actually fall on my face.

* * *

Benji was on his third cupcake three and a half hours later.

Stacy had gone home already because it was slow and I told her I'd take care of everything else. Mom should be here soon anyway and having Benji here was still making me nervous. I'm not sure why he was still here three hours later. I didn't think the cupcakes were that damn good.

The thought of him staying for me was stupid.

Maybe not that stupid, because I want it to be true.

"Did you grow up here?" Benji asked.

My concentration was broken and I forgot I was even cleaning the counters. My hand stilled and I turned around to face him. "Yep. Born and raised." I took a few steps closer to him. "What about you?"

"Sort of," He replied and leaned over on his folded arm. "Moved here, from Texas when I was six. Now I'm twenty-one and I can't really imagine living anywhere else."

I raised a brow. "Not even California?"

"Never. Too many memories and people here. Not every band wants to live in California, Lucy."

I thought my throat was going to swell shut. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean—"

"I'm fucking with you, Lucy." He chuckled lightly. "I've played many shows in California, but Florida is home to me."

The breath I was holding released in a sigh.

Benji grinned at me. "You're too serious," He commented with his taunting green eyes. "We're playing Bombshell's again this weekend for the hell of it. You should come watch us again and I can only hope your ears will be okay."

As much as I didn't want to laugh, it happened anyway. "I'll be—" I stopped abruptly, remembering I was grounded until Monday. "I can't. Grounded."

Benji wrinkled his nose and it was oddly adorable. "For what? Steal your mom's favorite pen?" He joked.

I snorted. "For Saturday. I kind of left my mom at the mall and tried to leave my phone somewhere so she couldn't track it."

Benji leaned back, a look of surprise contorting his features. "I didn't think you'd be capable of being so sneaky."

"You don't know me," I retorted.

The corner of his mouth quirked into a crooked smirk. "No, but I'd like to."

"If you think you'll get free cupcakes because you want to be friends, you're surly mistaken," I quipped.

"How'd you know?"

"I know people like you, Rockstar."

Benji started laughing and leaned back over the counter. "I'll make you a deal then, Miss Rule Breaker." His full lips curved into a playful grin.

I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked my head slightly to the side. "What kind of deal are we talking about?"

He pointed to cases barely filled with the remainder cupcakes from today. "I'll buy every cupcake in that case if you come to Bombshell's on Saturday night."

I felt more blush creeping up my neck and it coated my cheeks. "And what if I don't show up?"

"Then I'll be alone with over two dozen cupcakes." Then he shrugged. "It doesn't sound so bad actually. Either way it's a win-win for Benji."

I dropped my hands to my sides and chewed the inside of my cheek while lost in my roaming thoughts. "Fine. You have a deal."

The bell above the door rang and Benji and I both turned to see my mom coming through the door. "Hey." She smiled and walked up to the counter.

"Hi, Mom," I said quickly. "What's up?"

"I thought we'd close up early and go pick out the paint for your room."

"Okay, just give me a few minutes to take care of this customer and I'll meet you in the car around back."

She nodded and looked at Benji, giving him a full sweep over and a forced smile. My mom would lose her shit if I brought a guy like Benji home. She'd completely ignore the fact that he's a good person because she won't see through the piercings and tattoos. My mom can seriously be one-dimensional.

After she left through the back door, I sighed with relief.

"I thought she was going to kick me out," Benji joked.

"She's bad, but not sure she's bad enough to kick out a paying customer." I grinned and got a couple cupcake boxes to start filling them.

I heard Benji laugh.

Once the boxes were filled with all the cupcakes in the case, I slid them over the counter towards him and he handed me his card. "Like ripping off a Band-Aid," He painfully smiled.

"This is a giant Band-Aid." I swiped his card and handed it back. "Enjoy your cupcakes."

"See you Saturday, Lucy."

Benji walked out the door with two large boxes of cupcakes.

* * *

I don't think I've ever been so happy to be home and locked in my room. Going with my mom to the paint store was not the brightest idea.

I basically had to fight tooth and nail to get the color I wanted because she didn't want the color to obstruct the balance of the house. All I could do was roll my eyes when she said that. Eventually she gave up and let me get the purple I wanted in the first place. We would've saved a lot of time if she let me do that in the first place, but no, my mom has to make everything more difficult.

While she was cooking dinner, I opened up my computer and called Mia. I plugged my headphones in quickly, right before she answered. "If I have to spend another second in this house, I'm going to lose what's left of my mind," I said quickly.

Mia stifled a laugh. "Sorry, Luce. What happened?"

"The usual." I sighed loudly. "Anyway, that's not why I called. How would you feel about sneaking out with me Saturday night?"

At first she looked surprised and then she slowly grinned. "Where to?"

"Bombshell's," I whispered.

"Does this reason start with a B and end with an I?"

"Maybe..." I trailed off.

Mia started clapping. "Of course I'll go with you. I'll probably have to drive anyway since your dumbass lost your wallet and driving privileges."

"It goes hand-in-hand, Mia."

She shrugged a shoulder. "Whatever. It's a plan though. But how are you going to get past your mom?"

"Wait for her to go to bed and ask Jason to cover for me," I said strongly.

"And you think that'll work?"

I leaned back and rubbed my forehead. "Hopefully. And if I get caught, the worst she can do is ground me again. It's not like I can leave the house much anyway."

"Lucy!" I heard my mom shout. "Come down for dinner!"

I groaned loudly. "I'll talk to you later."

Mia waved and we both hung up.

* * *

On Friday, I was more anxious.

Benji has been in everyday this week and my mom was suspicious. She keeps saying something about a guy like Benji doesn't belong in a bakery. Basically when she told me that, I laughed so hard I almost fainted. Then I proceeded to ask her why?

She said he looked too 'hardcore' to like cupcakes.

At that point I was on the floor laughing. It was too hard to take her seriously. For one, I can't believe she used the word hardcore. Second, she acted like a complete mom and it's the most I've laughed in awhile. Especially with my mom because eventually she started laughing too.

By Friday night, she was in a pretty decent mood. She hasn't been nagging about my homework and she even gave me my phone back. Still not allowed to leave the house, but it's a start.

And my paint should be here sometime next week, so I'm also pretty excited about that. But my mom's good moods won't last long. They never do.

After dinner, I followed Jason upstairs and into his room.

He stopped in the middle of his room and turned to face me with his arms crossed over his chest. "What do you want, runt?"

I smiled a little and stepped forward. "A cover-up tomorrow night?"

Jason's the pride and joy of the family. The golden child. Quite tall, golden hair and soft brown eyes. Smart. Maybe too smart. Way too smart for me to comprehend. "A cover-up? For what?"

"I want to go to Bombshell's tomorrow night, but I'm grounded and it's not like Mom would let me go anyway," I replied.

He seemed really surprised. "Didn't think you had it in you."

"What are a couple broken rules going to do?"

"Cause Mom to have a nervous breakdown," He said dully.

I opened my mouth to say something, but snapped it shut a second later.

Jason rubbed his jaw and nodded his head. "I'll do it. But," he held it finger up, "I'm only doing this because if you get caught, that means I'll officially be the favorite child."

"Yeah, okay." I laughed. "Keep telling yourself that." I took a step closer and patted his arm. "Thanks, Bro."

"Say Bro again and I'll kick you out of this house faster than you can apologize."

I started backing towards the door. "Okay...Bro."

He lifted his arm and pointed a taunting finger at me. "Sleep with one eye open, Luce."

I frowned. "Oh, I'm so scared."

Jason flipped me off before I turned around and left his room.

* * *

"I can't do it," I panicked. "There's no way in hell—"

"No!" Mia's voice rang through my computer. "We've come this far. You're ready and we're going. I'll be there in thirty minutes, okay?"

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

"Are your parents in bed?"

I nodded. "Just went a few minutes ago."

"Okay, good." She breathed. "I just have to get dressed and I'll text you when I'm outside. But I don't want to force you to go if you aren't comfortable, Luce."

"I know, Mia." I closed my eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath. "You're right. We'll go and we'll have fun and my mom won't even know I'm gone. I have Jason covering for me if she happens to get up. It's going to be good...we're going to have fun," I reminded myself.

Mia smiled faintly. "See you in a few."

She hung up and I shut my computer before standing up.

I walked back to my full mirror and assessed my outfit again. A pair of ripped black skinny jeans, a button down denim shirt, and black boots. My hair was left in its natural state after washing it and I pinned a few strands back out of my face. It was a simple outfit. There wasn't much of a point to dress up for a concert because you're going to get sweaty anyway. Not sure how much sweat would actually be yours though...

* * *

My phone buzzed in my pocket thirty-five minutes later and I knew it was Mia.

I quietly walked out of my room and tiptoed down the hall past Jason's room. I'm glad the master bedroom is at the other end of the hall, far away from the stairs so it wasn't exactly hard to sneak out. My problem is feeling guilty or worse, getting caught.

Mia was waiting in the driveway and I hurried to climb in. She greeted me and backed out of the driveway. "It's kind of weird not seeing you everyday," she commented and pulled onto the main road.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Tonight is about letting go and not getting caught."

Mia laughed. "That works. My parents just think I'm at Caleb's." She shrugged a shoulder. "That's probably where I'll end up after I take you home."

"Fighting again?"

"Of course," She muttered. "Really shouldn't expect less."

"I'm sorry, Mia. Starting next week, you're free to come over whenever."

She glanced at me and smiled. "You know I'll probably take you up on that offer. I think Caleb is getting tired of me."

I laughed really loud without meaning to. "Are you serious? Caleb is so in love with you he can't even see straight. I doubt he'd ever get tired of you, Mia."

"I don't think I could ever get tired of him either to be honest. We've been together for two years and I really can't see us apart."

It might be weird, but I couldn't see them apart either.

We stopped talking when Mia parked at the end of the lot in front of Bombshell's. We got out and made our way inside the place. It was just as I remembered from last weekend. Even smelled the same oddly enough. There was still band merchandise located to my right and the pool tables to my left. Walking further, we made it to the podium where the guy sold us tickets and put non-drinking bands around our wrists.

The place was packed again.

I even noticed a few band members from Reset Space just lingering around. It's weird how I didn't notice that yesterday. But all the band members that were playing were just talking to fans or talking to friends. A lot of bands say there isn't a difference really.

Benji was sitting at the bar, a beer bottle in one hand, and a smile on his face while he talked to a guy standing next to him.

"Go say hi," Mia suggested.

I shook my head. "I'll just wait until after the show—"

"He's alone now." She pointed. "I'll come with you."

Mia looped her arm through mine and started pulling me toward the bar where Benji stood alone now. Then Mia took it upon herself to tap on his shoulder. He turned around quickly, a slow smile curving his lips. "Hey!" He then pulled Mia into a hug. "So glad you guys could make it."

Then he hugged me and I froze.

I felt Mia pinch my arm and I wrapped my arms around Benji's torso to hug him back before he pulled away. I smiled up at him and asked, "How many cupcakes do you have left?"

"At least a dozen," He answered. "But that's only because my roommate slash band mate Tyler got drunk the other night." He laughed lightly. "I can't put all the blame on him though. We got drunk and watched The Lord Of The Rings."

Mia started laughing. "What do I have to do to get your life?"

"Become an amazing musician obviously. Oh, and have a friend that makes great cupcakes. But you already have that part."

"How do you know I'm not a good musician?" Mia played.

"Believe me," I started, "she can't sing or play any instruments to save her life. So, you're right."

Benji chuckled and downed the little bit that was left in his beer bottle. "Then I'll know who not to bring on stage to sing," He joked. "I gotta go help finish setting up, but stay after the show?"

The words got caught on their way up and Mia jerked my arm gently. "Oh, uh, yeah. Definitely," I answered.

He gave me one last smile and walked around us to leave.

* * *

During the show, Mia and I both got lost in the music.

Especially when Reset Space played.

At concerts, you basically forget everything. You forget your stress, your worries, and you also forget you're actually really shy and would never actually act like this under different circumstances. But concerts bring out a whole new feeling that can't really be explained.

And after the show, I stayed as Benji requested.

Just like last Saturday, they were at the front of Bombshell's by their merch table, talking to people and taking pictures.

Benji—very sweaty Benji—noticed me as I walked up and hugged me quickly and then hugged Mia. I think he really likes hugs...but you don't see me complaining about it.

"Did you guys have fun?" He asked and swiped a strand of hair from his forehead.

"Totally!" Mia exclaimed. "I'm glad I came here now."

I nodded in agreement. "Even better than last time."

Benji's smile broadened. "You guys should stick around for bit. We're going to go down to the tracks in a bit and you're both welcome to come."

"The tracks?" I asked.

Benji nodded. "There's old, run down train tracks about two miles from here. We used to go when we were kids and thought we'd go back again. Would you guys like to go? I promise it's fun and I won't let you get eaten by bears."

"Yeah, sure," I found myself saying. "It sounds fun."

Mia shrugged. "Yeah, I can go for a bit."

Benji clapped his hands together. "Awesome. Just meet us out back, past the red curtains in about twenty minutes or so?"

"We will," I replied.

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HELLLOOOO! It starts to pick up in the next chapter. It's basically a Lucy/Benji chapter lol. I'm still writing it, but it'll be up probably Friday because I have my last final on Thursday and my break starts Friday.

Please vote and comment? Let me know what you think so far? Boring? Too slow or too fast? :)


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