The silence of the situation was awkward. I'm not even sure that word covers it.

We were sitting in the kitchen at the table. Benji sat beside me, and my parent's across the way. My mom was sipping a cup of tea and my dad was leaned over the table on his folded arms. "So," my dad started, "what you're saying is that you want Benji to go with you tomorrow?"

I nodded, but didn't say anything.

"And stay in the same room?" He went on slowly and glanced at my mom.

Again, I nodded.

My dad pursed his lips and looked at Benji. With my dad's watchful gaze, I saw Benji straighten slightly from the corner of my eye. "I trust you, Benji," Dad said to him. "You'd take care of her?"

"Of course, sir," Benji answered without hesitation. "I'd never let anything happen to her."

"Then I'll have you know if one piece of hair is harmed, you'll be dealing with me. And I don't play nice." My dad's voice remained cool and easy.

And I wanted to crawl in a hole. "Dad," I warned.

"I understand, sir," Benji said quickly.

Dad smiled. "Good, then we understand each other."

Benji nodded.

Then Dad looked to Mom and said, "Do we need to tell them about the birds and the bees?"

My mom's eyes widened and before she could say anything, I did. "Dad! I'm eighteen, I know all about the birds and the bees. I'm sure Benji's parent's told him all about them too."

My dad just grinned at me. He was doing it to get under my mom's skin. "Then you know to use—"

"Dad!" I yelled again. "We get it. If it makes you guys feel better, the room has a couch. One of us will be sleeping on it."

Dad still had a grin on his face. "Okay, honey."

"I guess it'll be okay." My mom forced a smile. "We could still go—"

"I can do this alone," I assured her. "Benji won't let anything happen. I'll go visit Zoe and I'll go straight back to the room."

She sat her cup down and then a few seconds past before she nodded. "Okay, but please call me after you see Zoe. If you need me, call me and I'll be on my way."

"I know, Mom." I smiled. "But it'll be fine."

She nodded again and took a drink of her tea.

"Since that's settled." I stood up. "I'm going to walk Benji out to his truck."

Benji rose up too and told my parent's bye. He shook my dad's hand and then I pulled Benji from the room. My chest deflated from the breath I held in. The morning air felt nice right now. It didn't go as badly as I expected, but my dad...he can be really embarrassing. But it beat my mom yelling like she would've done if I asked to go to Mia's house.

I leaned back against Benji's truck and sighed. "I'm glad that's over."

His cheeks were still red. "Uh, yeah. And I take back that part about your dad not being scary. He scares the shit out of me."

I laughed and reached for the sides of the green and black plaid flannel he wore. It was the same one he was wearing when I met him. "My dad's quiet. It's something to worry about because usually they're the ones that could plan world domination." He let me pull him closer to me and he braced a hand beside my head.

"That doesn't make me feel better." He breathed a laugh.

"It wasn't supposed to," I teased and stood on my toes. He met me half way as he ducked his head and pressed his lips to mine. His hand slipped to the nape of my neck and he held me there.

He pulled back and sucked in air through his teeth. "I gotta go."

I kissed him once more and fell back on my feet. "What are you doing today?"

Benji still had his hand on the back of my neck. "Band practice. We're playing some of our new songs before we start planning a new tour."

"New tour?" I asked timidly.

"We're aiming for a spring tour." He caught his lip piercing between his lips for a moment. "I'd only be gone for a couple of months, Lucy."

I nodded quickly. "I know, Benji. And I'm excited for you, really. I want more people to get a chance to see you guys live."

He smiled and brushed a thumb over my cheek. "You had a feeling this would happen."

"Yeah, but you're in a band. I'd love to see you tour the world." I placed a hand on the back of his hip.

Benji's hand dropped to my jaw and his thumb pressed against my bottom lip. "I'd love to tour the world one day too. It doesn't matter where I go because you know I'd come back to you."

I felt my cheeks warm as I smiled up at him. "And I'll be here waiting."

He bent his head forward to kiss me again and then his warmth was gone. I dropped my hands from his shirt and stepped around him. "Whose car are we taking?" He asked.

"We can take mine," I offered. "If your legs will fit."

Benji laughed and opened the door to his truck. "We'll take your car."

"Seriously though." I tilted my head to the side to get a good look at his legs. "You're like ninety percent legs."

He snorted and shook his head. "You saw my dad. He's taller than me by two inches. Which also means he's a giant."

"How tall is your mom?" I asked.

The corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk. "Five-two."

"That's adorable," I commented.

Benji climbed in his truck and shut the door. His window was still down from his drive here. "When they fight, he'll put things up higher than she can reach so she'll ask him for help. They're mentally still in elementary school." He laughed lightly. "Their fights never lasted more than two hours. I doubt they've changed."

I leaned over the open window and smiled at him. "Sounds like something you would do."

"Yeah, but the difference between me and my dad, I'd do it all the time whether you were mad or not." He gave me a mischievous smile.

I like how it said it about me. "I used to climb on counters when I was little. Still do occasionally if there's no one in the house. So it wouldn't bother me."

"My mom got smart too," He said. "She bought one of those foldable step ladders and hid it beside the fridge. My dad was laughing too hard when he found it to be mad at her."

"Did he hide that too?"

Benji's lips curved and he shook his head. "She'd occasionally still call him for help even when she was livid. Later, she said she liked the familiarity of it and never used the ladder again unless she was alone."

"Your parents' relationship sounds amazing."

"They're good for each other," He said. "They balance each other out. Kind of like how you balance me out. We balance each other out."

I nodded in agreement. "Tall and short."

Benji laughed and started the truck. "Tall and short."

A smile made it's way back to my lips. "I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

The next morning I woke up early to shower and finish last minute packing. All the necessities.

I was nervous more today than I was yesterday and I'll most likely be more nervous standing in the hospital. I'm finally going to talk to Zoe after six months. We all really want her to come home, but at the same time I'm scared. If she tries again after this...if she actually succeeded—

Shut up, Lucy. It's going to be fine.

I took in a deep breath and exhaled as I grabbed my two bags. One contained my clothes and my other held my computer and my books for homework. My mom made sure I had plenty of work to keep me busy.

When I made it down the stairs, I sat my bags to the side and walked into the kitchen. Both of my parent's were sitting at the table and they were sharing a newspaper. Dad likes the sports and business, Mom likes the rest of it. It was oddly adorable I guess. They do it every morning.

"Benji will be here soon," I informed them.

"Good," My mom replied and smiled a little. "Are you going to see your sister first?"

"I'm going to check in at the hotel and leave from there," I replied. "But I'll call whenever I get to the hotel, okay?"

She nodded. "That's fine, honey."

The doorbell rang and I looked to my dad. "Behave."

He had the same devious grin he had yesterday.

I walked out and made my way to the front door. Benji was waiting patiently on the other side. He stepped through, only stopping a second to kiss my cheek. It made me smile and a little worry melted away.

My mom made us breakfast and my dad gave Benji another talk while smiling his way through it. Okay, I love my dad, but the more he smiles, the more he looks like a serial killer that has the secret to destroy the world. It was comical to see the look on my mom's face though.

After breakfast, we left. I asked Benji if he wanted to drive, but he said he trusts me to drive my own car. I let him pick the music and he chose well. "When do I get to meet the infamous Zoe?" He asked.

It made me think because I wasn't sure I wanted them to meet anytime soon. I'd love for them to meet, but considering the circumstances, I'd like them to meet under better ones. "Hopefully soon," I answered. "Maybe she'll be home soon."

Benji placed a hand on the top of my thigh and squeezed gently. The small gesture made my breath hitch for a moment. "I hope she's home soon, too."

I glanced at him and back to the road. "I think you'd like her."

"Why? Does she look like you?" He joked.

I laughed and shook my head. "We do look alike, but she's really into music. When she was little, my mom started her on the piano. She's been playing since she was six and then she taught herself how to play the guitar when she was fifteen."

"Impressive," He commented. "What about you?"

I shook my head again. "I don't have a talented bone in my body."

Benji laughed and squeezed my thigh again. "I find that very hard to believe. What about your cupcakes?"

A laugh fell from my lips. "Okay, maybe the cupcakes. But anything artistic...it's a void for me."

"Anyone can take guitar lessons, but not everyone can make the perfect vanilla cupcake."

"Technically though, it's my grandma's recipe. Thank her."

He laughed again. "Then I'll be sure to do that when I meet her."

We continued the light conversation the rest of the way there, talking about anything and everything. When we got to the hotel, Benji took the liberty of grabbing all the bags before I could even open the back door. I just rolled my eyes and we made our way into the lobby. While Benji stood beside me, I collected the key after I checked in.

Up on the seventh floor, our room was at the end of the hall. Benji dropped the bags the second he entered the room and ran towards the bed first off. He plopped down face first and I couldn't help but laugh. I followed and climbed on top of his back, sprawling to match his form. "You know," I started, "you're actually more comfortable than the bed."

"You haven't laid on it," he murmured.

"I don't need to."

"It's mighty comfortable."

"So are you."

I moved my arms to hook under his and I hugged myself to his back. It was actually more comfortable than it sounds. Benji's body rose and fell with each timed breath and to me it was soothing. I knew he was falling asleep and I let him. It never did take him long to fall asleep. Last week we were on the phone and he fell asleep twice in the span of ten minutes. It was too funny to be mad.

After a few minutes of listening to his soft breathing, I lightly kissed his cheek and climbed off of him. I walked into the bathroom to check my appearance before I left again. Benji will probably still be asleep when I get back. I'm not sure how long I'll be with my sister, but I hope it's more than an hour. That's probably all I'll get because that's all my parent's get. Sometimes they'll get an extra hour and I don't think I can get that extra hour.

I texted my mom before I left the hotel.

* * *

Parking in front of the hospital, I didn't get out just yet. I stared at the looming white and red building, trying to find the motivation again. I'm seeing Zoe. It's just going to be us and she actually wants to see me. She called because she wants to see me and talk to me.

Zoe wants to come home.

I got out of the car and walked inside.

Minutes later, I'm standing on the same floor as Zoe. I walked until I found the doctors office again and I raised my fist to knock on the door. Before the door could open, I shook my hands out, swallowed the lump in my throat, and breathed.

The door swung open.

It was the same doctor and his name escaped me. "Glad you could make it, Lucy." He smiled and shook my hand.

I just nodded and stepped inside.

Zoe was sitting in the couch and she smiled when she saw me. She didn't stand to greet me though and part of me deflated. It'll come. She'll hug me when she feels comfortable. It's sad to think about. All I want when I see Zoe is a hug. It would be some form of reassurance that my sister is still in there.

But her smile is a start.

"Hi, Lucy," She said.

"Hey, Zoe." I sat in the chair across from her.

The doctor appeared beside the couch. "I'll be in my private office." He pointed to the small room with glass windows. "For today, I can only give you one hour. If today goes well and you come back tomorrow, I'll give you an extra thirty minutes."

"Thank you." I smiled.

He looked at Zoe. "If you need anything, let me know."

She nodded and the doctor left. I watched him walk into the small office and close the door. He sat at his desk that faced us. He could see us, but I don't know if he could hear us.

"He can't hear anything in there," Zoe said matter-of-factly.

The sound of her voice made me return my gaze to her. "Oh, okay." I shifted slightly in my seat. "How are you today?"

"Surprisingly well," she replied. "I'm starting to feel a lot better."

"That's good, Zoe." I smiled again. "Are they talking about letting you come home yet?"

She hesitated and then shrugged. "I have an evaluation coming up next week, so it'll be decided then when I can come home."

"That is what you want, right?"

"More than anything," She said without missing a beat. "A step in the right direction is repairing our relationship."

I nodded. "I know. I don't want you to hate me."

Zoe sighed and leaned over her knees. "I never meant that, Lucy. When I told you I hated you...I didn't mean it. I was angry and upset. God...I could never hate you. If anything I hate myself."

"Don't say that," I said softly.

She shrugged one shoulder again. "I don't so much anymore. It's something I've learned to work on here. I've grown a lot and I do see redeeming qualities in myself that I didn't before. I thought..." She sucked in a shaky breath. "I thought I was too far gone to even attempt to fix. It felt...pointless to me. Taking my life seemed like the only solution."

My eyes burned and I felt my bottom lip quiver.

"This time was different," she went on. "I wanted to end it. I really did. Everything in my body screamed at me to just let it go and end it all. And I tried. I was tired of the medication and tired of the depression. Tired of being locked in my room and not enjoying anything. Lucy..." She stopped and swiped a tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry."

A tear fell from my lash and onto my cheek, but I was too frozen to wipe it away. "Did you think about me?"

"I did," she admitted. "But not in the way you're thinking. I thought about how it was my fault Mom took you out of school and why you have no life. You were basically on house arrest because I didn't want to deal with life. I didn't want to deal with anything, Lucy, you have to understand what it's like. There were no colors except red for me."

I clenched my jaw and tears kept falling onto my cheeks.

"You're everything to me, Lucy," she cried. "When I saw the look on your face when you saw me that last time...it broke me. I couldn't take it and I had to get out of this room before I broke down. I didn't want you here because I wanted to protect you just like Mom wants to protect you. This part of the world...the dark parts are not for someone like you. You deserve the part of life I never got because I was stupid. I know you'd never make the same mistakes I did."

I angrily wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my sweater and lowered my face in my hands. I choked on a sob and curled my fingers into fists. Everything came at me full force. A handful of emotions buried deep under my skin are clawing their way out and it hurts. My chest ached, my temples throbbed, and my heart swelled. All this pain for my sister and for myself.

"Lucy," Zoe said softly.

But I didn't answer.

"You had to know," she went on. "When I went to you that night six months ago, I didn't tell you everything. This...this is everything. I'm working on it still and it's going to take time. My healing won't happen overnight and it's going to take longer than six months. I feel myself getting better. I'm getting better for my family."

I rubbed my eyes with my sweater again and lifted my head to meet her eyes. "I thought...I thought I lost y—you."

"You didn't," she choked out. "And you're not going to. I promise, Lucy."

I shook my head. "You can't promise that."

"I can now and I do. I'm never going to leave you."

I scanned her face, finding features similar to my own. Zoe's always been the prettiest person I knew. Still is. Just looking at her made me want to fling myself into her arms. But I stayed in my seat, willing my tears to go away. "Like you said...it's going to take some time."

Zoe nodded. "And I'm willing to do whatever so I can come home. I miss movie nights, you sneaking into my room when you couldn't sleep, and I even miss the bakery. What I wouldn't do for one of those cupcakes..."

I had to laugh and I wiped my cheeks. "I have some in the hotel. I'll bring you one tomorrow."

"You wanna come back?"

"Definitely," I said quickly. "I miss having you home. Sometimes I'll sleep on the floor in your room when I start to miss you too much."

"I'm so sorry, Lucy," she repeated. "And I'll keep saying it until you believe me."

"I do believe you, Zoe. I know you're sorry."

"Are those twin powers working again?" She asked with a small smile as she brushed her fingers over her cheek to catch a stray tear.

I laughed again and nodded. "Yeah, they're working again."

For some reason, my tears weren't stopping. It seemed the more I wiped away, the more that came cascading down.

"I love you," she said softly with tears still welling in her eyes too.

And that's what made me crack.

I was out of the chair and in Zoe's arms before I knew what I was doing. She didn't hesitate to wrap hers around me and we both cried. I clutched onto Zoe and she tightened her hold on me. It felt easier like this with Zoe. Holding onto her always felt familiar and it fell into place like a piece to a puzzle.

I told Zoe I loved her too.

This wasn't the end or the solution to our broken relationship, but it was a pretty damn good start.

----------------------

The last part of this chapter between Lucy and Zoe was so hard to write and then I started crying, so yeah, it was a mess. It made me miss my little sister more than normal, but I'm happy with how this chapter came out.

It's hard to write about topics like this because I'm always afraid I won't do it justice. Mental illness is such a serious topic and should not be taken as a joke. Mental illness is real.

Thank you guys for reading! The next chapter will be lighter. It'll be a Benji/Lucy and also a Lucy/Zoe chapter. There's only two chapters left and an epilogue. I'll post Tyler's story tomorrow with the blurb, then have the first chapter up whenever I finish this story! :)

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT!!!