I was showered and had clean clothes on five minutes before my mom got to Mia's. I was sitting on Mia's bed while Mia was next to me. The doorbell rang and my heart lurched. "What if she knows?" I asked.

"There's no way in hell she can know, Lucy. Caleb and me are the only ones who know where you were last night. You know I'd never rat you out."

I nodded. "I know, I just can't think of a reason for her coming back all this way, Mia."

My mom's cheerful voice echoed upstairs and I felt a slight relief. She doesn't sound angry, thank God. Mia gestured for me to follow her and I rose. We walked down the stairs where my mom was standing at the landing with Mia's mom. She turned to me and smiled.

The tension in my body was gone. "Hey," I said smoothly. "What's up?"

Mia took her mom by the arm and led her away. She gave me a reassuring smile before she turned to guide her mom.

"I'm picking you up. I called you this morning to let you know, honey," She replied.

"What for? I'm fine here. It's pointless for me to be there—"

"Zoe wants to see you," She interrupted and my heart plummeted.

"What?" I breathed. "Zoe wants to see me? Why?"

She stepped closer and brought an arm around my shoulders. "Just go get your stuff and meet me outside. We'll talk in the car."

All I could manage was a nod.

My mom squeezed me gently and walked outside. I took a deep breath and exhaled before walking back upstairs. A minute later, Mia came up to her room too. A state of perplexed was beyond me. "She said Zoe wants to see me," I told her while gathering my stuff.

"That's good, right?" Mia held a hint of hope in her voice.

I shrugged. "I have no idea. I mean—I've wanted to talk to my sister since she left, but I didn't think she'd actually want to see me. What happened all of a sudden?" I turned to Mia.

"She misses you, Lucy. You're her sister."

I sighed and zipped up my bag, then grabbed the phone from Mia's charger. "I thought I was ready to see her." I shook my head. "I don't think I can—she doesn't..."

Mia smiled a little. "It's going to be fine. I know how much you missed her so this will be good for you, Luce. She's ready to talk, so it's your turn to hear her out."

"You're right," I murmured and then threw my arms around her. "I'll call you later and let you know how it goes."

She hugged me back just as tight. "I'll be waiting by the phone."

I pulled back and grabbed my stuff. Mia walked with me down the stairs and told me bye before I walked out to my mom's car. I put my bags in the back and sat up front. She pulled out of the driveway and headed for the main road.

It was quiet until she pulled onto the highway.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked. "Why all of a sudden she wants to see me?"

My mom glanced at me and back at the road. "She says she's ready. She put you on the list. It's like a family therapy thing."

My heart stuttered. "Wait—so she doesn't really want to see me? She just wants me there for a family thing?"

"No, Lucy, I talked to her about it. She agreed it was a good idea. For the sake of this family, you two need to talk."

I wanted to punch the dashboard. "We don't need to talk to a therapist, Mom. We need to talk alone. We need to fix what's broken between us, not the whole family. If you haven't noticed, she's on good terms with everyone but me."

She started shaking her head. "There's a strain on this family—"

"Because of me and Zoe."

"Yes," She answered. "But we need to work as a family to build it back up. It's not just about you and Zoe anymore. It's about all of us."

I was getting more frustrated by the second. "You're not listening to me. For once, can you just listen to me? Zoe hates me. You shouldn't have talked her into letting me see her. She doesn't want to see me. You can't force her too. She's going to hate me more than she already does."

"She doesn't hate you, Lucy—"

"How many times did you hear her that night, Mom?" My eyes burned. "She looked at me with so much hatred in her eyes and she told me she hated me over and over again. You don't forget something like that."

My mom's cool composure was pissing me off. "She doesn't hate you. She was mad. This session with her therapist is going to help you and Zoe."

"I want to talk to Zoe alone. I don't want to be stuck on one side of the room while everyone watches."

She shook her head again. "You can't. It has to be as a family."

"Can she say she wants us to talk alone?"

"I don't know," She said, a hint of irritation in her voice. "Just cooperate today and maybe you guys can talk alone tomorrow."

I let go of my stubbornness. "Okay."

More minutes past and my phone was alert in my pocket. A text caused my phone to vibrate and my mom to glance my way. "It's Mia," I said quickly and tried to hide my annoyance.

But it was a text from Benji.

My pillow smells like you

I hid my smile to cancel out any questions from my mom.

I hope that's not bad, I replied.

His reply came seconds later.

No but it made me miss you

Fighting a smile was hard, but my heart was free to do whatever it wanted.

I miss you

His reply, Tyler's being annoying and I wish you were here

I accidently laughed out loud, but covered it up quickly.

Not surprising

But I love the loser anyway

When I felt my mom give me another look, I tucked my phone away in my pocket and focused ahead.

* * *

When we got to the hotel, my mom told me I'd be sharing a room with Stacy. She helped me carry my bags inside and into the elevator. Stacy's room was right next to hers so clearly I wasn't far.

She opened the door for me and we walked inside. "Where is Stacy?" I asked, dropping my bag on the floor.

"She went to lunch with Jason, Emily, and your dad," She answered.

"Why is Emily here?" I didn't even hide the bitterness in my tone. "This is a family thing."

Mom didn't like her anymore than I did. "Jason didn't want to spend Christmas without her."

Gag.

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

I shook my head. "Just a little tired. When are we going to see Zoe?"

"The appointment is scheduled at four. Whenever they come back, we'll head out. Are you nervous?"

"Not really," I lied.

She smiled sadly and touched my shoulder. "It'll be fine."

And I wanted to believe that. I really did.

* * *

We had to take two cars of course. Stacy and I rode with my parents while Jason and Emily took his car.

It was only a ten-minute drive from the hotel and when my dad parked, I was frozen in my seat. I was too afraid to move. Too afraid to see my sister. Too afraid that she'll tell me she hates me again.

I'm a coward.

Stacy wrapped her hand around mine, giving my palm a reassuring squeeze. No one said anything and we climbed out of the car. Jason and Emily were standing near the entrance and we all entered together. The smell was what I noticed first. It was clean, but it gave me a headache.

We all moved to the elevator in silence and rode up to the fifth floor. A nurse had to ride with us because the elevator doors won't open on that floor without a key. She only gave us a smile as we stepped off and the doors shut behind us. There's no turning back now.

Mom went up to the desk and gestured for me to come up with her. I had to sign in, show them my license, and get a visitors sticker with my name on it. A lump had formed in my throat and I had to force it down. My palms were getting clammy and I clasped them in front of me. Stacy was next to me while the others walked ahead.

I tried focusing on my breathing, counting my steps, and kept my hands locked together. Thinking about the outcome of this couldn't end well for me, so instead, I thought of cupcakes.

Yep, cupcakes.

My happy place. Thinking of the possibilities when it came to them always seemed to calm my nerves.

Something I wasn't expecting was Benji to appear in my head. He was there and his green eyes were bright with a smile.

"Lucy?"

I blinked and focused on my mom's face. "Yeah?"

"Come on, they're waiting." She opened the plain wooden door and let me enter. My eyes immediately started to scan the room.

There were couches and chairs; the sun was streaming in through the high windows, and a desk off to the side. The doctor sat in a chair with arm rests, a notepad on his lap and to his left sat Zoe. She didn't look up when I came in. She had her attention focused on her lap. Her dark hair was up in a ponytail and she looked fragile.

When she looked at me, her icy gaze almost knocked the breath out of me. Sometimes I forget how much we look a like, but this person seems different. Not like my sister.

Zoe smiled and rose from her chair. She was wearing simple sweatpants and a white t-shirt that clung to her skin. Like the idiot I was, I took a step back when she approached Mom first. They hugged quickly and she placed a kiss on Zoe's head. Zoe went around the room, hugging everyone.

But she didn't hug me.

I knew this was a bad idea.

Stacy was the only one that seemed to notice because she came over to me and took my hand again. She led me over to the couch and we sat down. Stacy didn't let go of my hand and I was grateful for the small touch.

"It's nice to have you all here," The doctor said with a smile. "It's good for Zoe to have as much contact with her family as possible. And I see Lucy finally decided to join us as well."

I bit my tongue. This was not my fault.

When I didn't answer, he went on to greet everyone else.

I could feel Zoe's stare and I tried not to meet it. When I did, there was nothing there. She just looked blank. Void. It made me wonder if Zoe was really in there. Well, she had to be if she avoided hugging me. She looked away from me and put on a smile for our parents.

"What we like to do during these sessions," he started, "is talk about what's going on in your life. Updates. Then we'll dive into deeper topics."

My mom went first of course. She told Zoe about anything and everything, it was pointless for me to even say anything. Jason and Emily both talked to her, Zoe smiled and nodded.

She hasn't said a word since we arrived.

"What about you, Lucy?" He asked. "Why don't you tell Zoe what's been going on?" His smile made me cringe.

I looked around the room and finally looked to Zoe. She was looking at me again with only a small hint of a smile. "It's the same," I murmured honestly. "School and bakery." And Benji. I smiled. "Nothing new."

Zoe's gaze flitted away from mine without a second thought. She didn't care. She told me she missed me that day on the phone and I was having trouble believing that. Maybe a small part of her does miss me.

After all that was out of the way, he moved the focus back to me. "What happened, Lucy?"

The question caught me completely off guard. "What are you referring to?"

"That night five months ago."

Why the hell was he bringing this up? "Zoe needed help," I grounded. "I didn't want to see her like that anymore. I just wanted her to get better."

Zoe was looking at me again, but I kept my focus on the doctor.

His smile was unnerving. "It's a slow process," He said. "Zoe wants to come home soon."

I looked at her then. "We all want her home."

She clenched her jaw.

"She blames you," He commented.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Thanks for reminding me. "I know."

"We need to work on the bond between you two," He went on. "This is going to be a family effort, Lucy."

"I saved her life." I glanced at Zoe and back to the doctor. "There's no reason why she should be mad at me."

"I didn't want to live," She finally spoke in a low voice.

The sound surprised me and I looked to her. "It's selfish."

"I trusted you," She said through clenched teeth. "I figured you'd be the only one that would understand. You're trapped just as much as I am, Lucy. Why would you want to live like that?"

Tears stung my eyes and I shook my head. "We aren't the same," I said weakly.

"We are more than you think," She answered.

"I couldn't do that." I wiped the back of my hand across my cheek. "The mess I'd leave behind...the mess you would've left behind. It would've broke all of us if I didn't get to you in time."

"It's not your decision to make," She spat.

"Would you have let me do it, Zoe?" I asked.

Her eyes roamed my face. "No."

"I did it because I love you, Zoe." More tears spilled down my cheeks but I ignored them.

We just stared at each other for a few seconds before she turned to the doctor. "I'm feeling overwhelmed. I want to go to bed."

He was on his feet in a second. "Yes, of course. That's enough for today."

He grabbed Zoe's arm and she didn't bother telling anyone bye. She paused and looked over her shoulder at me. "Don't come back here."

A door closed on my heart and I felt defeated.

No one said anything after Zoe left.

I didn't cry anymore either.

* * *

I lay on the hotel bed, just staring out the window. The city of Jacksonville loomed and was alive for the night. I didn't want to move and I didn't want to talk. Most of all I just wanted to sulk and wallow in self-pity. What the hell is that going to solve? Absolutely nothing.

It's not going to fix my problems with Zoe and it's not going to make me feel better. I'm not going to give up with Zoe. If anything, I'm going to try harder. I will get her to talk to me. Maybe she'll never forgive me and no, I'm not okay with that, but I'd rather Zoe live and hate me then not be here to tell me she hates me. Zoe is here and she looked healthy on the outside. Mentally, I'm not so sure.

In the car, my mom kept telling me it was the medication and not to worry. It was so easy for her to shake off the conversation, not knowing that it was tearing me up inside. She didn't ask if I was okay and I don't think she cared. She was worried about Zoe and worried that I'll take the same path she did.

Stacy brought me dinner from some place around the corner and the bag still sat on my bed. They were all out and I didn't feel like going. I'd rather be left alone with my thoughts than be a grumpy asshole around them. My dad insisted he should stay with me, but I assured him that I'm fine and wanted to be alone for a while. I needed to process things.

Another moment past and I let my mind take me somewhere else. I closed my eyes and thought of things that made me happy. In that moment I found Benji again. My eyes squeezed tighter and I breathed. I wanted to get lost with Benji. I wanted him to distract me so I'd stop thinking about Zoe and the flare of anger in her eyes. The pain...I wanted it to stop. It's a dull ache behind my heart that kept thudding every time I thought about Zoe.

My eyes opened and I climbed off my bed to find my phone. I scrolled through to find Benji's number and I pressed call. This was probably stupid, but he's my only way out of here. "Hello?"

"Benji," I breathed with relief. "Are you working?"

"I got off early," He replied. "Is everything okay?"

"How fast can you get to Jacksonville?" I asked instead and nibbled on my bottom lip.

"Two hours, maybe more with night traffic," He said. "What's wrong, Lucy?"

"Can you please come pick me up? I can explain when you get here."

He was quiet for a second. "Yeah, of course. Text me the hotel address."

I sighed with relief. "You're the absolute best."

"I know," He teased. "I'll leave now and call when I'm there."

"Thank you."

I hung up in time for the room door to open. Stacy came in and smiled at me when she noticed me out of the bed. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah." I pushed a smile. "It's just going to take some time."

She nodded and walked up to me. "It's going to be alright, Lucy."

"I hope so," I muttered more to myself than to Stacy.

I really did hope so...

* * *

Stacy was passed out an hour before Benji called.

She discovered the mini-fridge and had herself a party.

Before I gathered my bags, I found the notepad and pen on the table between the beds and wrote Stacy a note. I told her to tell my mom not to worry, that I went home and left it on my pillow. Was it stupid? Yeah, absolutely. But it was pointless for me to be here and I didn't want to be here. My mom can yell at me when she gets home.

I lugged my bags outside the door and quietly closed it behind me so I didn't wake Stacy. It was almost midnight and the guilt was setting in asking Benji to come all this way—this late. Talk about selfish.

I walked through the lobby and the woman at the front desk didn't even look my way because she was too busy helping someone else. Benji was just on the other side of the automatic doors, leaning against the passenger side of his truck. He lifted his head when the doors opened and stood up straight. When he smiled at me, I felt like crying again.

My grip loosened on my bags and I dropped them to the ground before Benji enveloped me in his arms. I leaned my head against his chest and I felt his lips against my forehead. "Wanna talk about it?"

"My life is a mess and I don't know what to do or where to start."

Benji kept a hold around my shoulders while he opened the passenger side door. "Tell me about it in the car." He kissed my forehead and let me go so I could climb in his truck.

He picked up my bags and handed them to me and ran to his side of the truck. After Benji was on the road, he tugged me closer to him. With one hand on the steering wheel and one arm around my shoulders, Benji turned onto the highway to get home.

"I could've driven," I said and looked up at him.

"I'm fine." The corner of his mouth quirked a little. "Did you see Zoe?"

"Yeah and it was a disaster. She told me not to come back."

"I'm sorry," He whispered. "I wish there was something I could do."

"You coming to get me is more than enough," I told him. "You have no idea."

He laughed lightly and hugged me to his side. "Are you coming home with me or do you want me to drop you off at Mia's?"

"You can drop me off at Mia's if it's easier." I looked up at his profile and a small smile was still playing on his lips.

"It would be easier to take you back with me." He glanced at me and back to the road.

"Then take me home with you." I laughed and kissed his jaw. "Can I ask you a question? And be honest with me."

Benji's moved his arm from around my shoulders and slipped his fingers through mine. He squeezed my palm and said, "Shoot."

I nibbled on my bottom lip for a moment, debating if I should even ask what's on my mind. "Is...is this enough for you?"

"Is what enough for me, Lucy?" His thumb brushed over the back of my hand while he kept his eyes on the road.

But I was looking at him. "This. Us. With me."

He stole a glance at me and it was enough to see confusion contort his perfect features. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"It's not about insecurities," I assured him. "It's just...we have to sneak around. You can't come to my house and meet my parents. We can't go out and do normal couple things." It was the first time I ever even mentioned being a couple. At this point I'm pretty sure we're more than friends.

"It's more than enough," He said softly. "I told you this morning there's a reason you're in my life, Luce. There's a reason you were brought to me."

"There's a reason for everything," I said. "For us." For my sister. For my mom.

Benji brought the back of my hand to his lips. "For us."

I do believe we were brought together for a reason. Do I need to know that reason? No, not really. Having Benji is the only answer I need. There's a reason for how my sister is and how my mom is. There's a reason for everything. Every little thing has a reason or a purpose.

So far, Benji has taught me not to give up when I wanted to.

And I'll always be thankful for what that brought me.

---------------------

A very insane filler chapter. I didn't like this chapter when I first wrote it, so I took time to change some of the things so I was happy with it.

Also, I wanted to ask if you guys would be interested in a spin-off with Tyler? I may have an idea for a story, that's why I'm asking. I'd really like to give Tyler his own story.

Don't forget to vote and comment! :)