I promised so here it is!! Enjoy!

Song: Heroine by Sleeping With Sirens

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The dress Mia gave me to wear to the Christmas party would never be something my mom would let me wear. It's a black, long sleeved skater dress that came up mid-thigh. I wasn't complaining though because I did look pretty damn cute in it. She also let me borrow a pair of her heels, which I have a love-hate relationship with. Being short, even three-inch heels make a difference. The bad thing about heels is pain and the fear of falling on your ass or worse, your face.

During the party I basically followed Mia and Caleb around. I didn't know anyone, so I stuck with the people I did know. But we kept up conversation, so it wasn't too awkward. I don't feel like much of a third wheel either with them. They never made me feel that way. Caleb made sure I was comfortable and it wasn't a bad night at all. I'm stuffed to the brim with good cookies and some of his mom's delicious homemade dips. I thought I was going to bust out of the dress by the time we left.

We climbed back into Caleb's car once we got the clearance to leave. It was barely past nine, so it was the perfect time to still get to Benji's. On our way, I gave Caleb directions, pointing left, right, and straight. There could have been another right in there, but we weren't too far from Caleb's house.

Caleb drove through the gates and I directed him to the end of the complex to Benji's building. It wasn't like the last time I was here. There were still a lot of people, but not as many as last time.

"Aren't we a little over dressed?" I asked from the backseat.

Caleb parked and turned the car off. "Um, probably." Then he proceeded to release two buttons at the top of his shirt and roll his sleeves up. "Good enough," He grumbled.

Mia laughed. "You should've changed."

Caleb shrugged and got out of the car. Mia and I followed, but I had to lead the way. We walked up three flights of stairs, making it to the top floor. My feet already hurt and walking up the stairs didn't help the purpose at all. I sucked it up and continued down the path and to the left where Benji's apartment sat.

I took the liberty and knocked on the door. There was music muffled coming from the other side and voices talking and laughing. The door swung open and of course, it was Tyler. He moved back and then leaned in, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "Lucy?"

"I'm glad you remember my name," I teased.

"I'm having trouble remembering mine right now."

My cheeks betrayed me and I could feel them burn, the blush creeping up my neck. "Maybe you can remember Mia's." I gestured to her beside me. "And her boyfriend Caleb."

Tyler smiled at them and nodded. "It's nice to meet you guys. Any friend of Lucy's is a friend of ours." He opened the door wide and let us slip in. After he closed the door, he appeared in front of us. "Drinks are in the kitchen. There's a giant cooler, so you can't miss it." Then he looked directly at me. "Benji's in the living room."

I nodded once and smiled. "Thanks."

Tyler walked away and started talking to Evan.

The three of us walked in the kitchen and found the cooler filled with different drinks. Water, soda, and beer. Near the bar were bottles of liquors, brown, golden, and clear. A few people stood there and took some shots. That's when I decided I wanted to try one. I've never tried anything but beer and that wasn't the greatest of tastes. I can't imagine how this will be any better, but I was going to do it anyway.

"What about shots?" I asked Mia.

Her brows raised and she nodded. "Why not? Caleb is driving anyway."

We shared a laugh and walked over to the bar. Mia grabbed rum and I grabbed citrus flavored vodka. A guy standing next to the bar handed us two plastic, neon colored shot sized cups. We poured the shot and sat the bottles down. I looked to Mia and started to panic a little.

I was afraid I'd spit it out everywhere.

But I looked at Mia and she counted to three. I threw back the shot, the vodka burning my throat on it's way down. My chest instantly warmed and my face scrunched up at the bitter taste.

There was a hand on my lower back and a kiss pressed to my cheek.

My lips quirked into a smile, because I already knew it was Benji standing behind me.

"Hey, Benji," Mia said while pouring herself another shot.

His arm went around my waist and my back was pressed against his chest. "Hi, Mia. I'm glad you guys could make it."

"Thanks for inviting us." She took the shot and she kept a straight face. You can tell this isn't the first time she's done this. "I'm going to go find Caleb."

Mia walked around us and went back into the kitchen to locate Caleb. I leaned my head back against Benji's shoulder and he leaned forward to bury his face in the crook of my neck. "I've been thinking about you," He whispered, his heated breath sweeping my skin.

I let out a laugh, not because it was funny, but because right now Benji was making me nervous. Not a bad nervous, but if I were to talk, I'd stumble over my words kind of nervous. So I turned around and looked up at him. "There are more important things you should be thinking about."

The corner of Benji's lips tugged into a small crooked smile. "Don't get me started." He slid a hand down my arm and grabbed my hand. "I want you to try something."

"Should I be scared?"

He shook his head and started leading me into the kitchen. On the table were trays of different colored jello cubes. "You'll love these." He picked up a blue one inside of a small cup and handed it to me.

I tipped the cup to my lips and let the jello fall into my mouth. The second I bit into it, a bitter taste took over my taste buds and it felt warm going down my throat. Besides the bitter taste, the mix with the blueberry made it worth it. "That's really good. Which one's your favorite?"

He picked up a cup with a pale pink cube in it and handed it to me. "Watermelon," He informed. "Strawberry comes in close."

I popped the cube into my mouth and bit down like I previously did. The flavors took over. I can see why this would be Benji's favorite, but I still think the blueberry was better.

Benji picked up another one, but this cup was filled almost to the brim and it had a gummy bear in the middle of the red jello. "Tyler saw these once and now they're his favorite. I'm not going to lie, they're amazing."

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Benji?" I joked, taking the shot from his hand.

"Never." He laughed nervously. "You don't have to—"

The jello was in my mouth before he could finish his sentence. The alcohol was subtler, but when you bite into the gummy bear, your senses are flooded. My eyes widened and I nodded.

"Good?"

I swallowed. "Definitely." My body was feeling light and warm at that point. I felt slightly giddy and I wanted a little more. So I grabbed a green one and ate it, only to find out it was green apple. Still really good.

Benji took one of the watermelon ones and the strawberry with the gummy bear, eating one right after the other. He threw the cups in the trash and grabbed my hand. He leaned down to whisper in my ear over the music. "I wrote the last verse when I got home," He said. "I was feeling inspired."

I giggled and fell against him. "Can I hear it or are you just teasing me?"

Benji chuckled. "Both." He jerked his head in the direction of his room and I followed him. His hand was still wound around mine as we made our way through the crowded living room and down the hall to Benji's room. Before the door closed, I heard someone whistle and then laughing.

"Ignore them," Benji said.

My body was feeling warm and I didn't even care. I know I wasn't drunk, but I felt a slight buzz. It's my first time actually drinking and I think this is how you're supposed to feel unless I'm a lightweight. That would be embarrassing. I sat on the edge of Benji's bed and leaned back on my hands.

Benji retrieved the desk chair and his guitar, then preceded to sit in front of me. His eyes raked me over and then he shook his head like he was trying to shake a thought.

Shit.

I just left Mia out there. But I won't be long...I'm a shitty friend.

Then Benji started playing and for a moment, I forgot where I was.

My eyes fell shut and I slowly tilted my head back. His voice wrapped around me and chills sped through my arms. The lyrics were everything. I'm not saying that because it's about me, but because they mean something.

"Lucy?"

I opened my eyes and tilted my head up. "Yeah?"

"You left me." He laughed. "What'd you think?"

"Perfect!" I leaned over and placed my hands on his knees. "Is there anything you're not good at?"

Benji snorted and his eyes roved my face. "Seriously, Luce?"

"Yes, Benji." I grinned. "You're so good at everything."

He moved the guitar to the floor so I could lean in closer. "I'm not good at everything."

"Liar." I giggled a little. "I feel so...light. Not drunk, but light. Does that make sense? Like a feather—Oh! And my body is so warm."

Benji started to lean in closer to me, his body heat rolling off him and clinging to my already burning skin. "That's what happens, Lucy."

"It feels so good," I exasperated. "Can you kiss me already?"

He made sure to take his time, letting the tips of his lips tease mine in the process. The distance closed between us and I thought I couldn't feel any better. I moved my hands from his knees and snaked them around his neck. As I started to lean forward, Benji pushed me back until I was lying on his bed. My hands slipped into his hair, fisting it into my palms so I could tug at the strands.

Then he pulled away and I felt myself whimper in protest.

He kissed my chin and then his warmth was gone. I opened my eyes and he had his hand held out to me. I placed my hand in his and he brought me off the bed. We walked out of his room and back into the living room.

Benji told me to find a spot on the couch and there was one in the corner of the sectional. I sat there while he went to talk to Tyler and grab a beer. Mia and Caleb were still by the bar, talking to Evan. She felt my stare and looked at me, then gave me a thumbs up.

Thanks, Mia.

Tyler was nodding while Benji talked and seconds later they parted. Benji walked my way and I stood long enough for him to slip under me. I situated myself in his lap and leaned back against his chest. He kissed my temple and I couldn't help but smile because I was so content.

The music faded and Tyler decided to stand on top of the wooden coffee table. "I'm about to play our new song," He announced. "It's called Chin Up and it's dedicated to Sammy who we would've lost two years on Christmas." Tyler looked up. "This one's for you, kid."

Then he played the song.

It was hard to focus when all I wanted to do was look at Benji and make sure he's okay. I know he's strong, but even the strongest people can fold. So I looked to Benji. The hand that wasn't around me was placed over his eyes. My heart tugged for him. I leaned my forehead against his temple and placed a hand on the other side of his neck. Even with him this close, I didn't feel it was enough.

I pressed a kiss to his cheek and held onto him.

The song played in the background and when it was over, everyone clapped and hollered. Benji jerked slightly and that's when my heart fell. He shifted a little and I moved off his lap so he could stand. He weaved through the people and walked towards the apartment door. He walked out and the door shut behind him.

I didn't move.

Tyler was standing in front of me and I looked up. "He'll be fine," He assured in a soft voice.

My eyes searched his and I nodded.

He nudged his curled finger under my chin and gave me a small smile. I tried to return it. He turned and left, following the way Benji went.

I didn't feel so light anymore. If anything I felt heavier than I've ever been.

Mia came over to me with Caleb close behind. "I had no idea," She said in a low voice.

"He just told me yesterday," I replied. "I just...I feel so bad for him and I wish there was something I could do."

"Be there. That's all you can do, Lucy."

"I wish there was something more I could do." I shook my head. "Benji doesn't deserve this pain."

"No one does," She answered with a sigh. "I hate to do this, but Caleb has to get home. Would Benji bring you home later?"

I shrugged. "I'll ask him, but he's been drinking. But don't worry, just get Caleb home. I need to make sure Benji's alright before I leave."

She gave me a quick hug and then Caleb did.

I watched them leave too.

* * *

Everyone started leaving about fifteen minutes after Benji and Tyler walked out until it was just Evan, Mason, and I. Evan was a little drunk, but he was worried about Benji too.

I sat on one end of the couch and they sat on the other.

Evan had his head propped on his hand, dosing off every few seconds.

The apartment door opened and we were all alert. Tyler walked in first and Benji followed. He didn't look so good. His cheeks were flushed red and there were light pink circles under his eyes. "Sorry about that," He muttered. "I thought you had left."

I shook my head and stood up. "I wasn't going to leave you."

His lips remained closed when he smiled at me. He looked around me at Mason and Evan, and said, "You guys can go to bed. I'm fine."

Mason and Evan stood up, but it was Evan that answered, "Are you sure? We'll stay up if you need us to."

Benji shook his head. "I'm fine. I'll see you guys in the morning. You too, Tyler. I'm fine. Thank you for what you did."

"Of course," Tyler said. "I'll see you in the morning. And goodnight, Lucy."

"Goodnight, Tyler."

All three of them went their separate ways, leaving Benji and I alone. I clasped my hands in front of me, not knowing what else to do. He stepped closer to me, but still kept a small distance. "Thank you for staying," He said quietly. "I didn't expect that to hit me as hard as it did."

"I don't blame you, Benji." I took a step closer and tilted my head back. "I commend you for holding it together for as long as you did."

"That's one thing I'm good at," He said, "holding things in until I can't take it anymore. I've learned to hold on for my parents, but not for myself."

"Sometimes you can't and that's okay."

"I can't be strong all the time."

"And that's okay, Benji," I repeated. "It's okay not to be okay. You're human."

"I'm okay for the most part." He smiled a little. "We all have our moments."

I nodded in agreement and finally smiled. "Exactly. You'll be okay even if you aren't okay."

Benji bobbed his head, a smile still on his lips. He stepped back and turned around to the bar, grabbing the bottle of citrus vodka. He swiveled around and dangled the bottle in his hand. "How do you feel about a sleepover?"

I laughed and stepped close enough to grab the bottle out of his hand. "A sleepover sounds pretty damn good."

He didn't bother grabbing any shot glasses and we walked to his room. The door closed behind Benji and I plopped down on the edge of his bed. I screwed the cap off of the bottle and took a small swig. No one could ever get used to straight vodka. It burned on it's way down and left a bitter taste on my tongue.

Benji grinned and sat down next to me. I handed him the bottle and he took a bigger drink. His face only scrunched up a little and he handed the bottle back to me. "Where's your phone?" He asked.

I took a small drink before answering. "Probably sitting on your counter." I shrugged. "She wouldn't call this late. I told her I was going to bed when I left the Christmas party."

His laugh was light and music to my ears. "You're getting smarter. I hate to be a bad influence for you." He took the bottle from my hands and took a small drink this time.

"Not bad enough." I playfully glared at him and hesitated to take another drink. My body was starting to warm again and I started to feel fuzzy and light. It was a great feeling.

"I'll be as bad as you need me to be, baby."

I glanced at him and started laughing. "You don't have a bad bone in your body."

"You're breaking my heart, Lucy." He put a hand over his heart, mock hurt.

"So funny," I said sarcastically and handed him the bottle. "I'm starting to feel it again. The lightness. So nice."

Benji let out a small laugh and took a drink.

"Do you have something I could wear? This dress...I need to get out of it." I bent down to take off my shoes and kick them off.

Benji got up from the bed and walked to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants and then walked to his closet to retrieve a shirt. I rose from his bed and I had to catch myself. That ended up with me giggling and then trying to contain it. So I straightened my spine as Benji made his way over to me and he handed me the clothes. "Thank you."

"I'll turn around." And he did.

It took me a minute to actually get the dress unzipped and I easily slipped out once it was unzipped. I pulled on Benji's sweatpants, but I had to roll them a few times so they settled on my hips and tugged Benji's shirt over my head. The shirt had sleeves cut off and the only thing you could see was the side of my bra. I can't let the world know I wear a bra for crying out loud.

Note the sarcasm.

Usually I kept a hair tie around my wrist, but sadly I forget one. "You're safe," I told him.

He turned again to face me. "Nice clothes."

"Thanks, I got them at a place called Benji's." I stepped closer to him. "He has great stuff. Maybe you'd be interested." I took the bottle from his hand and this time, I took a longer drink. My throat felt like it was on fire, but I was soooo warm.

Benji lowered himself to the floor and leaned back against his bed. I did the same, except I sat in front of him. He took the bottle and took a smaller drink than I did. "It's like I've been covered with a fuzzy blanket." He laughed, his cheeks painted a faint red.

"It's nice, isn't it?" I sat up on my knees. "You know what else? I want to dance. That's what I want to do right now."

He started laughing again. "I won't stop you."

Once I started to get up, I decided against it and made the decision instead to lie across Benji's lap. We were both thrown into an unexpected fit of giggles. I wasn't sure why we were laughing, but something was funny apparently. Maybe because I don't make very great decisions while under the influence. Or maybe because we're both drunk and could find a peanut funny.

Benji stopped laughing and groaned. "You know what would actually be good right now?"

"What would be good right now, Benji?"

"Your cupcakes. Just thinking about them makes me hungry."

I snorted. "We should make some...yeah...let's make some."

"Really?" He asked, a hint of excitement in his voice like a five-year old getting told he's going to Disney.

I got up from the floor and steadied myself on the edge of his bed before I offered him my hand. "Let's go."

His hand wrapped around my small one and I helped him off the floor. I opened his bedroom door quietly and I heard no one.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Benji asked and he was on the verge of more giggling.

Now I was too. "No, but now I want cupcakes so I'm going to make some damn cupcakes."

Benji placed his hands on the back of my shoulders and walked me into the kitchen. He leaned back against one of the counters while I collected what I needed. To be honest, I'm surprised they had anything that I needed. There was one thing missing, but it was optional. But it was also what makes them so good...

Oh well.

As I was cracking the eggs into the mixture, I dropped one of them and it cracked, leaking all over the floor. It was like a fuse to Benji's giggles and mine because we both lost it. We were laughing at a cracked egg on the floor and there was nothing else.

Shit, I don't even know if I'm making this right.

Who the hell makes cupcakes when they're drunk?

Benji and I because we're hungry idiots.

I got a cloth from the counter and wiped the egg up the best I could, but I was still laughing. My laughs came out choked because I was trying not to laugh.

When everything was mixed, Benji appeared at my side and wrapped his arms around my waist. "It already smells good," He murmured and buried his face in the side of my hair.

I swiped my finger in the batter and popped it in my mouth. God, I couldn't taste a difference. Don't try that at home, kids. Salmonella is real.

"It tastes good," I said with a smile. "So good."

Benji's lips pressed against my jaw and he kissed his way to my mouth. He turned me in his arms and leaned further into me. His tongue swiped over my bottom lip and my lips parted in time with his. At the worst possible moment, I started laughing. Benji started laughing too and we became another giggling mess. "We're...going to wake them up."

"They're heavy sleepers." He still laughed. "Especially if they've been drinking. We're good."

He attacked my lips again for a moment and I pulled away. "I need to get them in the oven."

Benji got me the cupcake pan, but they didn't have any liners. They had spray to grease the pan at least and that's the next best thing. I sprayed the pan and started to fill it up. It was turning out to be really messy and Benji was laughing next to me. Eventually, I got them in the oven and I set the timer. Hopefully I set it for eighteen minutes and not eighteen hours.

"What about frosting?" I asked.

Benji shook his head. "We don't need it."

"But that's the best part." I pouted, but it didn't last long.

His arms found their way around my waist again and he held me against him. "That's where you're wrong."

"Noooo," I replied. "You have to have frosting. It's like a rule or something. I'm pretty sure you can get arrested for it."

We were giggling again and I backed away from Benji. I collected what I needed for the frosting, which isn't much for a simple vanilla buttercream. I mixed it all together and held the bowl out for Benji, offering him a taste. He swiped his finger on the side of the bowl and slipped it into his mouth. He nodded his head. "You're right," He said. "It should be illegal not to have frosting."

"I told you."

"But I have to say," he came closer to me and paused, "you're definitely sweeter."

I was mid-laugh when Benji attached his lips to mine again.

"Every time you laugh I just wanna kiss you," He said against my lips, kissing me again.

I don't think I'd mind if Benji kissed me all the time.

His lips were warm against mine and the lingering taste of vanilla buttercream, mixed with citrus vodka still flavored his lips.

The timer on the oven decided to go off and I unraveled myself from around Benji to get the cupcakes out of the oven. I sat them on top of the stove and turned them over so they could easily pop out. "They have to cool for a few minutes," I told him and turned back around.

"What does that mean?"

"It means we still don't have any cupcakes."

Benji stifled a laugh.

"This is no laughing matter, smart one." I reached up and tapped the side of his head. "You know I could probably eat a dozen cupcakes and not lose any sleep over it right now?"

"I'd be right there with you." He draped his arms over my shoulders. "I'm glad you know how to bake. I'd be screwed without you."

Another giggle tumbled from my lips. "You can buy cupcakes anywhere."

"But not yours." He poked the tip of my nose and drew me in close to his chest. "You think I'd betray you like that?"

I leaned my head back and looked up at him. "Where'd you get the cupcakes you brought to the library?"

Benji grinned. "I asked Stacy to make them. Technically I haven't betrayed you yet."

"You're still good in my book." I smiled.

"I better be." He leaned down only to peck my lips. "Frost those cupcakes so we can stuff our faces."

Since I wasn't home, I couldn't use a piping bag but knives work perfectly. To get it done quicker, I handed Benji a knife and kept one for myself. The cupcakes weren't cool all the way, but it was good enough. They weren't going to last long anyway.

We frosted the twelve cupcakes and grabbed two of them. I boosted myself up on the counter with mine and immediately delve into it. Even a little drunk, I still make some kickass cupcakes.

Benji's moan was all the approval I needed.

Even that made me feel a little giddy.

He devoured his cupcake, leaving small remnants on the corner of his mouth. "You have something there." I pointed.

His eyes narrowed and he swiped his thumb over the spot. "Thanks," He murmured.

After I finished my first cupcake, I went for a second one and Benji did too.

We didn't eat them all like we said we would. Once I ate the last bite of my third cupcake, I thought I was going to explode. The sickening look on Benji's face told me the same thing. "I'm so sleepy." I sighed.

"Let's go to bed." He spoke lowly and gripped my hips to help me down off the counter. We walked back down the hall to Benji's room and we both didn't hesitate to climb into his bed.

I curled against his side and rested my head on his chest. His arms wrapped around me, securing me to his side. I felt his lips flutter over my forehead and I sighed in contentment. "Thank you again for staying," He whispered.

"You're welcome," I said sleepily. "Thank you for letting me stay."

He kissed me temple. "Good night, Lucy."

I think I told him good night, I couldn't remember. My eyes were closed and that's all I could remember.

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I hope you enjoyed this super long chapter lol. I write double than what I usually do and it was hard to end it where I did because I wanted to write more hahaha. But I'll add it onto the next chapter.

The next chapter you'll start to see clarity with the death of Sammy and what happened to Zoe, why she's in the mental hospital. Hope you guys stick around tho!

Please vote and comment? I'd like to know what you guys think of the story so far! :)