Song: Tear In My Heart by Twenty One Pilots

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"I swear," My grandma started, "people are getting more crazy every day."

I looked at Jason and he looked back at me. My gaze returned to my grandma and I took a drink of my water. She's not wrong though. People in this world are crazy, but she has a different definition of crazy.

"Why's that, Mom?" Dad reached over and placed a hand over hers. Even though she's my mom's mom, Dad calls her mom too. She's the only mom he's ever known.

Grandma sighed. "Why are they celebrating Christmas in April? It's one thing to put Christmas decorations out a month early, but celebrating in April?" She shook her head, her face pinching in confusion.

My mom reached for her other hand. "Mom, I agree with you. People are crazy, but it's December. Christmas is in a week."

Grandma looked like she was going to fall out of her chair. "What?"

Mom nodded. "Remember I told you yesterday?"

"No," She said quickly. "You never told me that, Amy."

"Yes, Mom, I did."

"Well, where's Freddie? He should've been home by now."

The whole room went quiet. Talking about Grandpa Fred was always a touchy subject. He passed away almost two years ago and my Grandma has basically grieved herself to the point where she doesn't know what day it is. At first, we thought she was kidding. Then we considered maybe she dreamt all of it up. But when we considered these options, none played out right.

Mom tries to tell her, but Grandma denies it.

So we gave up on telling her and I know it's screwed up to keep telling her he's around when he's not. But if it keeps my grandma sane, my mom would do anything. "I think it's time for bed," My mom said softly. I knew she'd cry about this later. She always does. I wish there was something I could do to help her, but I can't bring her dad back.

We all stood from the table and took turns hugging Grandma and telling her bye. Jason and I walked outside while they put her to bed. We got in the backseat of the car and waited in silence.

They came out a few minutes later and Dad had his arm around her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before they parted and got in the car. The ride home was quiet, except my mom sniffling. This wasn't easy for her and she really doesn't need me adding to her stress. So I reached over the back of her seat and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Seconds later she placed a hand over mine and squeezed.

We got home a little after nine-thirty. Mom didn't say anything and went upstairs to bed. Dad looked at Jason and I both and followed her up. I let out a sigh and my shoulders slumped.

"I'm going to Emily's," Jason murmured. "I'll call Mom in the morning."

All I could manage was a nod and Jason took off up the stairs. After a few moments, I went upstairs to my room too. I changed my t-shirt for a black tank top and a maroon cardigan. When I pulled out my ponytail, my waves fell down my back. It only took me a few minutes to pin it back out of my face. I left my black skinny jeans on and my shoes.

I sat down on the edge of my bed and scrolled through my phone for a few minutes. Jason left; I heard the front door closing. When the clock struck ten, I left the house as quietly as possible.

When I got to Benji's apartment complex, I struggled to remember where his apartment was. I've only been here once and I was barely paying attention. But it was easy to spot the load of cars at the end of the street. Few people walked down the stairs and two more went up. Now I recognized the building to be the one Benji resided in.

Instead of parking in front of the complex, I parked at a few down and walked to Benji's. I walked up the steps, passing by a giggly couple and a group of friends. Benji lived on the top floor I remembered and I made it there. The apartment was down and sat by itself to the left. Just as I was about to knock on the door, it opened.

Tyler's newly died blue hair was brighter and his smile widened. "Lucy!" He pulled me inside and wrapped his arms around me. "We've been waiting foreeeever."

I awkwardly hugged him back. "Sorry I'm late. I tried to get here as quickly as possible."

"It's okay." He breathed, but didn't let me go.

"Uh, Tyler..." I trailed off.

"Right." He dropped his arms but didn't step back. Then he looked up, a slow smile spreading across his lips when he looked at me. "Payback's a bitch."

I looked up timidly and saw mistletoe hanging above us. Looking back at Tyler, I grinned. "Your boyfriend wouldn't appreciate it."

His features contorted for a second. "Oh!" He snapped his fingers. "Benji...you're talking about Benji."

I stifled a laugh. "Speaking of Benji, where is he?"

Tyler cocked his head to the side and pressed his palm against the wall. "Pay the toll and I'll tell you." He tapped his cheek.

I rolled my eyes, stood on my toes, and kissed his cheek. "Do tell, wise one."

Tyler dropped his arm and turned sideways. He jerked his thumb behind him and I followed. Benji was leaning against the wall, a beer in his hand while he talked to a guy I've never met. I walked past Tyler and when I was two feet from Benji, he looked to me and smiled. He nodded towards the guy he was talking to and stepped away to meet me.

Benji's arm went around my waist and he pulled me close without hesitation. "Is it my turn now?"

My brows furrowed, confused for a second, and then realized he was talking about me kissing Tyler's cheek. "You don't need mistletoe," I teased.

He chuckled lightly and leaned down to meet my lips. This time I didn't stand on my toes and just tilted my head back slightly. He pecked my lips three times before standing up straight again. "Are you thirsty?"

I shook my head. "Thank you though."

Benji dropped his hand from my waist to grasp my own hand. He brought me to the couch, dropping down on the only empty spot and bringing me into his lap. He sat his beer on the table beside him and wrapped his arms around me. I let myself melt against him and I couldn't stop my smile.

Tyler came running into the living room, his face red as he panted. "Holy shit!" He announced drunkenly. "I got the perfect idea!"

Benji shifted under me and leaned forward to place his chin on my shoulder. "What is your grand idea, Tyler?"

Someone started laughing beside us and I noticed it was Evan and Mason sat next to him. Evan, you could tell he was a little drunk already from his flushed cheeks.

"Okay, so, I had this idea about Lucy," Tyler explained slowly.

Benji's arms tightened around my waist.

"Me? Why me?" I asked, pointing to myself.

Tyler lazily grinned. "If Lucy was to join the band, we should change our name to Reset Cupcakes."

Evan sputtered next to me and the beer spewed from his mouth. He was thrown into a fit of giggles that set off Tyler's giggling.

"Reset Cupcakes," Benji repeated slowly.

Tyler looked at Benji with a duh expression. "I think we should totally make it happen."

Evan and Mason were both laughing.

We all started laughing and even Benji joined in. "It doesn't even make sense," I commented between laughs.

Tyler shrugged. "That's the point!" He then clapped his hands together. "Have you heard some of these band names? I discovered a band the other day called Diarrhea Planet."

"Who came up with your band name?" I asked and glanced at Benji.

Benji pointed a finger at Tyler. "Around when we first started the band, Tyler was on this huge Star Wars kick. He wanted something to do with space. We tried combining words with Alien and that didn't work out well. He called me at three in the morning that night."

Tyler smiled proudly. "I am the savior of this band."

Benji snorted.

A girl sauntered into the living room with bone straight blond hair, baby blue eyes, and a smile. She brushed a hand over Mason's arm and sat in his lap. She was gorgeous. Like movie star gorgeous and I couldn't help but feel a little intimidated.

I felt Benji's lips against my ear. "Can I show you something?"

Fighting a smile, I turned to him and nodded. I stood from his lap and Benji followed. While everyone else was distracted by a story Tyler was telling, Benji led me in a new direction of the apartment. We walked down the hallway and to a secluded room that sat at the end. He opened the door and pulled me inside, closing it behind him.

Benji's warmth was missing for a beat while he turned on a light. The room was illuminated and I took a moment to look around. There were a few band posters scattering the white walls, a full-sized bed in the corner of the room, a plain white desk with a chair, and a stand with a TV sitting on it directly across from the bed.

"Welcome to my mini oasis."

I turned around to face him and my lips quirked into a smile. "It definitely feels like your room." The music was nothing but muffled noise from in here.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No." I laughed. "It's...calm."

"Does it smell?"

"No, it doesn't smell either."

He grinned. "Then we're off to a good start."

Another laugh fell from my lips. "What did you want to show me?"

"Oh, right. Um, hold on." He stepped closer to me, wrapped his fingers around my forearms, and walked me backwards to his bed. When my knees hit the edge, I buckled and fell onto the plush surface. I watched Benji go to a small space beside his TV and he grabbed an acoustic guitar that I didn't notice when I came in.

Benji went to grab the chair that sat in front of his desk and he brought it to sit in front of me. He positioned the guitar in his lap and looked up at me. "We finally started working on new music," He informed. "So far we have a song done and I've been working on another. I only have the chorus done, but we have to start somewhere."

I nodded to agree with his statement. "What's the song about?"

"A girl," He said simply. "A sheltered girl that gets to experience life for the first time."

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach and my body warmed.

His eyes searched mine and we stayed in silence for a moment until he spoke again. "You're the kind of girl people write songs about."

The beat of my heart was still off. I didn't know if I should've taken that as an insult or a compliment.

Benji looked down at his guitar and started picking at the strings. "It's not an insult," He said matter-of-factly. "I saw that look on your face."

How could someone I've known for only a few weeks already know my habits? Know the reason behind my expressions? Know exactly what to say? And Benji knew it...he knew all of it without knowing anything. He doesn't know what my sister's done and he doesn't know what I've done. He chose to stick around because he actually likes me and doesn't care what I've done wrong.

Benji looked up at me, his fingers still absentmindedly picking at the strings of the guitar. He created a soft melody effortlessly. "Can I play for you?"

Still unable to speak, I nodded my head while I kept my gaze locked on his. He looked back down at his guitar and slightly shifted. He started playing a little louder and my breathing quickened.

When he started singing, my breath hitched in my throat. My eyes rested on him and I couldn't look away. It was like being in a mindless trance that I couldn't break. His voice with acoustics was more beautiful than I could've imagined. He sang softly through a few lines of lyrics. The words surrounded me and tugged at the strings holding my heart.

He finished and set his guitar down beside him. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," I answered before my mind.

A hint of a smile made it onto his lips. "I can't wait to finish it." He leaned forward and placed his hands on the bed beside my thighs. I was caged in and his face was only inches from mine. "I didn't scare you, did I?"

"Not at all." I braced my hands on the sides of his neck. "I can't wait to hear the rest of it."

"I wanted to get your approval first before I showed the rest of the band. I didn't want to cross any boundaries."

I nodded. "And that's okay."

He started leaning in closer and I met him in the middle. Our lips met and then parted in time. When his tongue barely grazed mine, I could taste the beer that still lingered. The taste of the beer was better on his lips. It was a bitter, yet sweet taste that I wasn't able to get enough of.

Benji started leaning forward until my back met the surface of his bed. He hovered over me, his lips still gliding over mine in a smooth motion. My hand slowly made it's way to the back of his neck as his lips left mine. He kissed my jaw roughly and nudged my neck with his lips. My head rolled to the side and a smile spread against my lips.

"Don't..." I tried to breathe, but it was difficult. "Don't leave...hickey's..."

He chuckled against my skin. "What's the fun in that?" His lips touched my jaw again and he used a hand to turn my head to face him again. He kissed my cheek and down to my lips again.

Suddenly, Benji's bedroom door burst open, causing us both to jump in the process. Benji jumped up and I looked around him to see Tyler. "What the hell?" Benji yelled.

Tyler—a very drunk and giggly Tyler—fell to the ground. "I'm...sorry," He choked out. "I forgot."

"We have a rule," Benji hissed. "Knock you dumbass."

Tyler stood up and stumbled a little. He held up a finger and then pointed at Benji. "Next time lock the door before you do anything naughty." He pointed a warning finger at me. "Santa is watching. He sees everything."

It was so hard to be mad at Tyler. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. Benji was having difficulty too. "Go to bed, Tyler. Santa's watching you too."

Tyler's eyes widened. "I'm fucked."

I lost it. I was laughing before I could stop myself. Benji glanced at me and shook his head. Biting down on my lips, I smothered more laughs. The look on Tyler's face was like a five-year-old finding out Santa isn't real. "Tyler," Benji warned. "Go to bed before I kick your ass."

Tyler tilted his head to the side and grinned at me. "Is she spending the night?"

"What? No! It's not like that—"

Tyler wiggled his eyebrows and said, "Sure about that?"

"You have ten seconds to get out of here."

Tyler sighed. "Fine, but remember. Protection is—"

"Oh, my gosh. It's like living with a child." Benji pushed Tyler out of the door, closing it and locking it.

"Goodnight, Lucy! You're very pretty!" Tyler slurred on the other side.

Nope, don't laugh. Don't do it or Benji is going to scold you like a puppy.

"Benji!" Tyler called. "You're kicked out of the band! The vote is unanimous!"

"Between who?" Benji called back.

Tyler was giggling again. "Me!"

The giggling faded and Tyler finally walked away. I could hear Evan and Mason saying something and then more giggling.

Benji ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He turned back to me and took a few steps forward. "He's so embarrassing. I'm sorry."

"He's not that bad. I find it very entertaining, actually."

He seemed surprised and perplexed by my answer. "He's a child."

I rose from the bed and walked up to him. "Then he's an entertaining child. Seriously, it doesn't bother me." I'm sure my cheeks are the color of cherries, but whatever gets me through tonight. "Walk me to my car?"

He smiled sadly and nodded.

* * *

When I walked downstairs the next morning, my mom was on the phone with Zoe. She had a huge smile on her face and a cup of coffee in her free hand. She only nodded in my direction when she saw me. I just gave her a weak smile and got a cup of coffee on my own.

I sat at the kitchen table and moments later my mom hung up and joined me. She sat across from me. "I'm glad you're up, I was just about to wake you. We have that party to cater today."

"What party? You never told me about a party."

She narrowed her eyes. "Yes, Lucy, I did. I told you about it two weeks ago. Mr. Meyer plans this party every year."

"To be fair, you never let me help. You always left me at the bakery while Stacy went with you," I replied.

"The bakery won't be open today. I need all the help I can get."

It felt like a hand slapped me right across the face. "Wait—Mr. Meyer?"

My mom looked at me like I just told her two plus two is five. "Where are you going with this exactly?"

"Mr. Meyer as in the person that runs the Four-Seasons Mr. Meyer?"

She nodded slowly, still confused as to why I'm asking this.

Mr. Meyer is in his mid-forties. I've only seen him twice, but I couldn't forget him.

Benji Meyer, the boy I've only known for weeks takes on a resemblance.

It's his dad.

Holy. Shit.

I'm in trouble.

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Ah, the first cliffhanger of the book. I LOVES IT.

Also, don't get mad I didn't include any lyrics. I really want to write the full song, but I've never written lyrics before. It's going to happen tho and they'll be included later! And it's amazing how much of my life I've actually put into this book, obviously not including a cute band member (Cries). But my great grandma has her moments. Ever since her son died two years ago, she hasn't been the same and it breaks my heart. :(

SO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS CHAPTER PLEASE IT'S PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SO FAR!!! And don't forget to vooooote! :)