Carnival day.

7:18 a.m
My sister had the day off. I awoke to her in a cleaning fit, scrubbing and disinfecting everything with music blasting. She didn't care what the consequences could be as she had closed herself off into the bathroom cleaning with a bunch of chemicals, breathing in every single one at once. I stood from my bed and opened the bathroom door to wash my face to see her clothing wet and her arms filled with soap suds. She was in her zone so for an hour we did our own thing whilst I ate breakfast and hanged out in my room till she came in whilst I was snipping my nails.

"Can I speak with you?" By the tone in her voice I could tell this was a serious conversation that had been on her mind.

I shook my head 'yes' which allowed her to sit next to me on my bed.

"I know a couple weeks ago when you told me what you were I might've said the wrong thing. I didn't know what to say or how to react and all that was going through my head was the type of country we live in and harm that could come to you. I thought of how mommy would feel and how our father would use who you are against her and say that she didn't raise you right in his absence. What I said might've came out wrong and hurt you in some way and I just want to say that I'm sorry if it did. I did my research and I'm trying to be better and understand. I love you and I wouldn't want anything to ruin our relationship!" she said before sitting there staring at me waiting for a response or some kind of reaction.

But all I did was continue cutting my nails and shook my head. The nail cutter was suddenly super interesting. Her words stayed in my head but there was nothing that could repair my heart. I didn't know what to say or how to move forward so I sat there until she pulled me in for a hug. I didn't embrace her back, just letting it happen. Was never much of a hugger anyways.

Once she pulled away she was smiling then it faded once and I knew she had more to say. "You would tell me if anyone ever touched you or tried to in any way right? Like anyone in our family or anyone at school? Know you can tell me anything. Because if I find out anyone did and that's why you are the way you are now, all hell will freeze over!"

I shook my head "no" holding back more tears. She left after and all I could do was feel more betrayed and trapped in a box. Her last words were jarring. Thinking that I am who I am because of such an experience although it never happened to me is so dehumanizing. Why must who I am be defined and explained by something so traumatic? Do cis heterosexual people think everything that isn't black and white like their putrid cis het norms are only explainable by devastating events or mental conditions? Out of everything she said before and today, those words hurt the most.

And just then a message from Mandy in our group chat alerting us that we could start making our way to her house chimed my phone.

9:21 a.m
Mandy opened the door to the four of us standing there all smiling. Around her neck she had her measuring tape and was still in her jammies and bonnet. She was jittery with excitement, eager to show us her fabulous creations.

As we followed her inside, we were astounded by the way the clothes she had tailored for each of us looked on her hand made mannequins. She packed and knotted pillows in various ways to resemble the human body with the help of PVC pipes for the neck, arms and legs to create her mannequins. And even though I had a terrible start to the morning, I managed to smile.

The day was looking more than swell. Dustin had brought us over some croissants with cheese he got up extra early to bake from scratch and we sat around the table chatting and laughing with huge cups of hot chocolate topped with colorful marshmallows. And once we all digested our food, we started helping Mandy wash up the dishes and clean up the pieces of cloth lying around the house.

"So, where's Gibbs?" Beth asked, getting some garbage bags from the bottom drawer.

"Oh, he's meeting with us at carnival later! Said he has something to take care of. He also said he has something really important to tell the five of us!"

"All of us? What is it?" Dustin asked washing the suds from his arms.

"I have no idea but I'm guessing it may be about Gary?"

"MORE about Gary?! I don't think I can handle another notebook!" Carson bloated placing the last saucer onto the dish rack.

"I know right... I can't even sleep properly knowing they're in this house. We've got to figure out what to do with them and how to get them out of here. Speaking of...we should start getting ready now anyways... I'm going to get a shower!"

"Right! I can't wait to the see the carnival queen!" Beth said excitedly.

"You know what I DON'T want to see?... Carson's parents grinding up on each other in their band!" Dustin said shivering just thinking about it.

"Oh my God? Can you let my parents have fun?!" He said laughing with Beth and I.

Once Mandy was out we strapped on our outfits. Beth wore one of the carnival bralettes with a cropped red leather jacket over it, low waist leather pants and black wedges. Her hair was in knotless braids that had a gradient of black with blonde to the ends. Mandy wore a cropped top and a fluffy mini skirt made out of madras material and knee high boots with braided pigtails. Dustin accessorized his silver jewelry with his short jeans pants and a flowered shirt that matched Carson's. With that, Carson wore tennis shorts and sneakers. And I couldn't help but outshine in my outfit. Mandy had liked her design of my jacket so much that she spent the whole night making an extra one for herself just incase it got a bit chilly out.

     And as the others were completing their looks with jewelry and splashes of perfume, Beth reminded me that we had pressing matters to take care of so we told them we'd catch up with them soon.

11:51 p.m
   I cautiously tapped on Gob's front door glass as Beth stood in the driveway giving me two thumbs up and a heavy grin. A minute later, Gob opened, more than delighted to see me. We both chuckled awkwardly, longingly staring into one other's eyes as we tried to form a coherent sentence.

"Um... good morning! I just wanted to come here and discuss something with you" I started.

"Discuss what?"

"Um... okay... don't hate me or anything for this but... I didn't tell you because I was scared of how you would react. We just click and I could feel something special between us-" Gob smiled "so I didn't want this to come between us and you feel less connected and happy with me because of it so I kept it a secret. It's been bothering me that I did and I've spent hours... weeks even hating myself for it! So I hope you understand and feel for me dearly"

"What is it?"

    I took a deep breath. "I'm a transgender woman that has been transitioning... only socially for almost a year now and... yeah!" I answered looking down at my feet with my hands in my pocket.

   For a brief time, everything stopped before he lifted my head up with my chin with one finger and fixed his gaze on mine. We were both unaware at the time that the window's curtains had shifted, revealing a clear view of us. His mom had started to observe and pay attention to us. Beth did notice but couldn't help but become sidetracked and flustered by our infatuation for each other.

"I like you no matter what you are Toy. You're special to me. And I want you to know and feel that in any way! This doesn't change anything or how I feel about you. It pained me overthinking in my head why you were giving me the cold shoulder and I now understand why. You had every right to. It's your truth and you can choose who and when you tell it to" He said before kissing me.

   It was therapeutic to feel my tongue within his mouth. Our lips caressed one another, getting moist and damp with spittle. He seemed unwilling to remove himself from my face. I tightened my embrace on him and became even more in love with him at that very moment. And when we eventually separated from one another, we yelled and fidgeted tensely at Beth, who was cheering, supporting us.

"Will you meet me at carnival?" I asked in a low seductive tone.

"Of course baby" he answered.

    Beth ran up to the porch after hearing that and hugged me, filled of joy and smiles.

"Let's go before you two start fucking right here!"

    I laughed before Gob and I hugged once more.

"I'm going to go get ready, I'll call you when I get there!"

"Ok bye!" I said blowing him a kiss.

"BYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!" Beth exclaimed prying me away and giggling.

But my right ear perked up as we walked away, the sound of scribbling disturbed it.

2:54 p.m
    After reuniting not too far from Mandy's area, we all started to walk in the direction of the bus station. We were aware that there might be a lengthy wait because of the area's lesser developed roads and slower moving lanes. We were standing next to a store that offered various costumes, but because it was carnival season, they were promoting their handmade carnival costumes that had major discounts.

    While the rest of us chatted, Mandy showed some interest in them by glancing at them through the show window. Though not as fantastic as they might be if she designed them, they were nevertheless gorgeous. However, the center piece seemed improbable and out of place. It was a long sharpened nail jester costume. Unsettling. Fortunately, the bus came by to prevent her from staring at it every other second, too scared to give it her back.

    But as the bus drove away, the jester's face turned and followed the direction it was going in locking its attention on us.

4:54 p.m
   Once in town, we got off the bus and strolled towards Serenity Park. Following getting some sausages on a stick, the five of us stood outside the park and observed several bands making their way by. We couldn't resist giving our bodies a slight sway to the music.

   And when Carson's parents arrived, dry humping each other in their bands, Dustin had to put his hand on his mouth and the other on his stomach to hold in his food. Carson attempted to distract him by holding his hand, but Dustin withdrew it out of fear for the looks and actions of those around him. He thought he was doing better embracing his sexuality but the hiding and sheltering had became second nature at that point. Carson felt embarrassed, flushed, and started to hold back tears.

     They both began giving each other the cold shoulder as we made our way to Dustin's mom's stand where she had crotched jewelry on sale. Dustin tried to fight it but as we began to take off she gave him responsibility for his younger sister. Now, he was irritated.

She was on fire today trying to run off every second so Dustin hoisted her up on his shoulders. Within ten minutes she became annoyed and frustrated and wouldn't let Dustin's hair go if she didn't get some gummy worms so he gave in and crossed the street with her to purchase them. He didn't know she already had lots of sweets and was gearing up for a hectic sugar rush.

    And whilst she was trying to run off I spotted Gob creeping toward us as he was crossing over, and I leaped on top of him to give him a quick embrace. Feeling envious, Carson started glancing at a concession stand that was serving alcohol to all patrons, regardless of age. Fuck being sober.

I wanted to go somewhere private and kiss him for hours but Gob had to depart promptly due to his mother needing his help setting up her tent. So, Mandy and I went with Carson while holding hands, attempting to locate a refreshing drink to slake our thirsts, not realizing that we had thwarted his drunken schemes. Who knows how much he would've drank.

    We were all refreshed by the drinks, but soon after Dustin's sister got her own, she spilled it all over him and Carson couldn't help but feel that it was karma. And as he laughed, Dustin bent over to picked up the box juice. Because of his snickers, as he stood back up Dustin pinched his thigh. That stunt almost made him smile breaking his mood of anger. But from the corner of his eye he notice Dustin slightly observe the back of woman and felt a sharp pain in his heart.

Beth was becoming worried and a little anxious when she noticed that my suitor was the only one of ours that we had seen today, as two couples passed by that resembled Mandy and Gibbs.

    Going up to Mandy's ear, she shouted trying to beat the music "Where's Gibbs?!"

"I don't even know. Let me try calling him!" She shouted back into hers.

    We all followed her to a shady spot that wasn't too sound polluted and she placed one hand on her right ear and the phone to her left as it called. No answer. What was taking him so long?

    We had no idea that he had just completed getting his hair trimmed in the nearby barbershop and was standing there staring at himself in the mirror. After paying, he used a lint remover to dust the loose hairs from his clothing and left in the opposite direction of where we were. Wearing black pants and a polo shirt, he walked while biting down on a handkerchief to try and resist the urge to purchase every delicious treat he laid eyes on. He debated taking an edible he had stashed in his pocket from Gary's house for his hunger but remembered those only make him hungrier.
  
    At last, he gave in to his cravings and decided to purchase some barbecue chicken. He then walked to a large double joint tent where a group of women were serving the food and a large group of males were gathered beneath the empty side, drinking alcohol and having noisy conversations. Some were inebriated from the previous night, while others were inebriated already. He virtually hovered over the waiter, sticking his tongue out as he ordered a thigh. He was excited by the taste of the sauce soon to be bubbling on his tongue.

   However, he had failed to see that Mandy's stepfather was among the men drinking close by. But, HE DID. He broke his beer bottle into a destructive weapon as he closed in on him, and the sound made Gibbs, like a detective, finally notice him as he started to pile at him like a football player. Gibbs ran off, entirely forgetting his chicken, and attempted to blend in with the throng of onlookers.

   Regretfully, he backed into a gathering of boys that coincidentally included Gary and his friends. As soon as he saw him, Gary became enraged and grabbed him by the shirt. He was thinking only of killing him and was shouting, intimidating him. He was wearing a pouch around his neck, which he started to rattle through and took out an army knife.

   Grabbing him by his belt buckle, Gibbs pushed him into a group of girls, causing them to point out their disapproval. Then, he rushed inside another mob, but they were right on his heels. It was a good thing he was the fastest runner on the cricket team and was giving them a run for their money on foot. No pun intended.

   He needed to locate us and disappear from view. The only thing holding onto him was fear, and as his eyes darted all over, making him sweaty and more nervous, he couldn't help but grow trembling. His bones shook at every tiny voice he heard that sounded like it was made of an enormous quantity of testosterone. This state had his heart beating extra fast and he felt like he was slipping out of consciousness.

Little did he know, he was in more danger than he initially thought.

Masquerade had been tracking him. They used their gloved hands to snatch an icepick from a lady who was selling local juice and pocketed it, following Gibbs. Gibbs had enemies out to get him like purge night.

    He was watching the sky slide into darkness, dodging around and attempting to evade his foes. Unfortunately he could barely make sense of his surroundings and was beginning to go in circles because of him going in and out of consciousness. To make matters worse, his phone had no charge, everyone including the police were further than his location following the bands so he couldn't ask to make a call and the phone booths were out of service so the chances of ringing Mandy was slim to none. All he knew was that Gary was popping up in and out of places still on the prowl for him.

He dashed into the open, leaving a trail of flames in his wake, knowing that the trucks would soon turn around and spit out a few blocks above. Everything went according to plan, and as he shoved and shuffled through crowds of people, looking from face to face for Mandy, he started to feel a little lightheaded and out of breath. He quickly discovered us in a bunch of roadside tents purchasing credit for Mandy's phone. At last, we could put our worries about his whereabouts to rest.

"Where have you been?! We've been searching for hours!" Mandy questioned.

"Um-" he stopped hunched over, hands on his thighs to catch his breath. "There's a lot going on! Let's get to a less crowded and less noisy area... please!"

And that we did. But what we didn't notice was someone in a jester costume and huge red cloak, standing on three inch stilts was spying on us, waiting for the perfect time to strike. It couldn't be Masquerade because they were still surveilling the crowd. Couldn't be Gary because he had given up his search and was just wondering about. And it couldn't be Mandy's stepfather as he was throwing up from his huge intake of alcohol a few blocks down. Who was this mischievous wonderer?

Gibbs was virtually bursting to tell us everything about Masquerade as we gathered around him. At that point, Gary reappeared on the scene, scenting him like a police dog. But Gibbs saw an opportunity and quickly wrapped on my twin jacket that Mandy held, throwing him off the trail.

Once the coast was clear he began "Okay... guys... a couple weeks ago I found a phone behind the school when we redid our exam. It was an exact replica of Dustin's and once I got into it I found a location-" the camera bumped around to all our faces looking concerned, intrigued, scared, confused and skeptical "Once I found that location I figured out why there was the replica. There is someone trying to-"

Gibbs felt a thick blade puncture his stomach.

   Gibbs had a defeated expression. The warm, viscous liquid pouring out of his side was all he could feel. His hearing seemed as though he had just stepped off an aircraft, and his breathing grew shorter and harsher. He felt as though a million needles had punctured him and his mouth began to dry out as it was opened out of shock. Which of his attackers had finally made a move against him, and how hadn't he anticipated it?

Then, the blade was pulled out quickly, causing Dustin's sister to flinch away from him and step backward in shock, her eyes welling with tears. Mandy and Beth started yelling, and I froze, staring into the eyes of the perpetrator's jester mask.

The mask descended onto the ground at that moment and the perpetrator quickly threw their cloak over their face. For a second, I rolled my eyes around the area then back in the direction they sprinted off in. I had to be dreaming. But, that's when I saw the culprit standing behind a car still shaking, peering at me scared and guilty trying to work out what to do next in their head. For a second I wondered why they froze and didn't continue running. Weird. But once what they had done seeped into their system... they began running off once again.

   With his legs failing and his hands clutching his gushing wound, Gibbs collapsed into Dustin's arms as he staggered backward in shock. Mandy started to cry and let out a bloodcurdling scream until she fell to her knees, drawing over people one by one, so Beth gathered her in her arms and tried to calm her down. Carson tried to get Gibbs to breathe consistently using some of the ways his mother had taught him, and he offered me his hand rag to attempt to stop the bleeding. I was barely moving a muscle, my mouth was open, and I hadn't said anything. I could feel myself sinking into the ground, and all I could hear was Carson yelling at me to exert more pressure to the wound.

But the only thing on my mind was the hairs rising erect on Gibbs's arm. The sound of him coughing up blood and choking every few seconds, as well as his minor shivers every other moment. He was a mess, and I could feel the chills coming off his body.

Overstimulated, I rose up from the splattering bloody wound and gazed at the red aura of blood in my hands almost feeling Gibbs's faint heartbeat. That's when I locked into disassociation till I decided to take off and Carson's parents retrieved him as Dustin made off to find his little sister. Beth began freaking out trying to get a hold of the police as people in the crowd called up on Jesus for Gibbs to live another day.

I beat myself up for a minute on shaky legs on whether to keep running or to turn around leading me to stumble to the vehicle the culprit stood behind earlier and noticed a note that must of fell from their clutches. And as I gazed upon its red familiar look, a stampede came along kicking me over and I fell bumping my head a little. That's when memories flooded in everything fit like a puzzle.

     Masquerade on the other hand was overjoyed that someone else did their dirty work for them. They stood from the roof of a clutter of houses looking down at the scene counting down each bit of blood he was loosing. That should shut him up for some time. He shouldn't stick his nose where it shouldn't be.

7:54 p.m
"WHY DID YOU GUYS PULL ME AWAY? GIBBS IS LITERALLY DYING RIGHT NOW?!"

"AND THAT'S ON HIM AND HIS PARENTS! I'M PROTECTING YOU! YOU'RE YOUNG YOU DONT KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS WORLD AND WHAT GETTING INVOLVED IN THINGS LIKE THIS CAN DO TO YOUR NAME!... I get that he's your friend but you MUST LISTEN to me! I'll bring you to the hospital to see him tomorrow or something!" Carson's mother answered in a fit before putting up her middle finger for an angry driver behind them that wouldn't stop honking.

8:41 p.m
    I rushed towards my house till my guilt trickled me down to Babylon's where I told him everything and we went to the culprits house finding the evidence. Just a few minutes after we got to the station, Dustin and Beth burst through the doors, their hands drenched with sweat and exertion and Dustin's collar splattered with blood. When they saw me, they staggered through the crowds of occupied cops to where I sat.

"Carson is gone and Mandy's at the hospital with Gibbs. Some officers got us here for Babylon and told us everything will be explained. Toy... Do you know anything about what's going on?" They asked noticing how shut off I was from the world.

    I looked at them then sat up in my chair. They sat around and Beth held my hand. "Tell us... please!"

"Gob's mother stabbed Gibbs"

"Wait! WHAT?! WHY?!" Beth gasped.

"This summer I struggled a lot with going back and forth in telling Gob who I was. His mother had her faint rejections of me before but they amplified as we got closer. She began pestering him about me and went as far as going in our messages on his phone trying to find proof of my 'false womanhood'. She was convinced I had latched on to her son's brain like some parasite and was fooling him like 'how I fooled myself into believing I was a woman' But she met a dead end. One day, earlier this summer, I decided enough was enough and took off after leaving the game shop with Dustin to his house to come clean. But I had a hazy memory of that day and it was only when I fell at the incident earlier and hit my head that everything came flashing back. She had offered me a drink which was laced with some type of drug that rendered me into a disassociated mindset and tried to collect information from me but she barely got a sound from me that wasn't my heartbeat. She gave up, did something to snap me out of it and sent me home and I woke up with no recollection of what happened. But what stuck with me was the noisy way in which she wrote with her pen. It lingered in the back of my mind trying to bring the memory forward. After that I began giving Gob little to no attention and when she saw this she assumed we were done for good but this morning when Beth and I went to their house and I confessed to him she heard everything and got enraged. She couldn't believe he was okay with 'what I was'. So she marked the jacket I was wearing as her tracker for me and tailed us with the jester costume on where she stabbed Gibbs mistaking him for me because he was wearing Mandy's copy of the jacket. I saw her hiding behind a car at the scene. But why would one go that far? This woman is an extreme terf who spends countless amount of time trying to decipher, belittle and abolish transgender women. She fills her mind with different media that encourages transphobic ideals and gets her riled up. She's a psychologist and has been researching transgenderism and how to 'treat it' which is why she drugged me. After recovering my memory I went to Babylon's where we drove to their house and found all her notes and research in an outhouse. Notes and pictures of me all over the walls. She had became obsessed"

"OH MY GOD?!" Beth said holding her heart.

"I've been beating myself up about it because I'm the one who got him in this... I'm to blame!" A tear riddled from my eye.

"No you're not!"

"She's right! Bitch is crazy! Plus, I don't think Gibbs only had one enemy out to get him tonight. Well technically she's your enemy... but that's besides the point! Did you guys see how scared he was and was literally in the middle of telling us something?! If he didn't know she was a threat then that means there were people or a person that wanted him dead tonight! If she didn't stab him someone else was planning to or something worst! But who and why?!"

"We can worry about that later! We need to try to get her arrested for what she did as soon as possible and get to Mandy!"

"Babylon's already working on getting her here don't worry"

"Okay, once he finishes we're going to the hospital immediately!"

"Carson just texted me. He's at home, his parents took him out of there before things got too crazy" Dustin said staring at his phone.

"Okay that's great I guess at least we know he's safe... You know... guys... for a second tonight I thought I saw the blade go into Mandy and not Gibbs" Beth said shivering.

"It probably would've if he didn't put on that jacket"

And all we could do after that revelation was sit there in silence, stressed and tired from everything. Babylon checked up on us every couple of minutes and got Beth a blanket and a cup of tea before he came back out to tell us she had been caught after an hour long manhunt. After, Beth called Mr. Rainyman to pick us up before I had to go inside to attest that she was for sure who I noticed at the crime scene.

I entered the rather cold room and saw four other women with similar facial features lined up around her. And even though we were separated by a thick wall of glass I could hear her heartbeat. And just when I felt like I was suffocating, Babylon's comforting palm fell on top by shoulder and the tension eased.

"That's her. In the middle"

"Are you certain?"

"Yes"

A tear trickled down her cheek. For some reason I felt guilty. Not only for her but because now I had brought trouble and branded Gob's family.

But there was no time to feel my emotions as Mr. Rainyman pulled into the parking lot. He was asking a load of questions and I took over the conversation to ease his nerves saying that our friend was wounded and we only had to go in to point out the offender. And once he made sure Beth was alright, it was time for the the last stop of the night.

9:30 p.m
Mandy had red eyes. Gazing through the glass separating the waiting area from the rest of the hospital, she noticed that the glass was becoming fogged up due to her heavy breathing. She didn't seem to care that her makeup was all over her face and mixed in with the glitter that the trucks had thrown at us throughout the festivities. She was trying to make sense of things, rehearsing everything that had happened tonight in her mind. She kept telling herself it was okay as she wiped away more tears, but the more she did so, the less she believed it as more tears replaced the previous set.

Earlier when she arrived on the ambulance with Gibbs and they got him into surgery, she met her reflection in the bathroom mirror. For thirty minutes she cried then wiped her face and washed her hands and the cycle continued. All she could look at was the handprints of blood she was leaving all over the sink and grabbed the janitor's cleaning cart scrubbing them off in a fit.

Once she made it out the bathroom there was still one obstacle in her way. There were two cops trying to get a statement out of her but she didn't feel like talking and clenched her hand into a fist trying to stop herself from hitting two men of authority. When she became too frustrated she began screaming in the waiting room making them back off from the attention it drew to their direction.

That's when she approached the glass and stood there staring into it until she saw our reflections appear as we walked into the hospital. We all sprinted over to give her a big, bear hug. She started crying even more as a result, so we tried giving her back rubs and quietly saying, "Gibbs is going to be okay! Don't worry, they've caught the offender!"

Beth couldn't help but cry with her telling her "You can rest easy! Let it all out! Everything's gonna be okay!"

We waited with her and fetched some food, but she refused to eat, especially after we told her what had happened and how he was stabbed. Her legs didn't stop shaking with fear until his father arrived and received word from the nurses that he had been released from surgery and that they were waiting for him to wake up. IF he did.

She refused to leave the hospital until visitation began in a few hours, but we couldn't bear to watch her like this. So, once she fell asleep, Mr. Rainyman put her into his backseat and took her home with the rest of the group. And we agreed to inform our families only the most basic details about tonight so as not to undo all of Babylon's efforts to ensure we were scarcely mentioned in the case file. They would freak if they knew all what we'd been through.

11:58 p.m
Dustin was the last to get dropped off at his house. He arrived to a bitter environment. Sobbing relatives, cars all about and his neighbors outside staring. Confused, he drew closer and saw his grandfather's body being dragged out to be delivered to the morgue. As if the night wasn't tragic enough.

His dogs were even whining and screaming, sensing a serious disruption. He untied them right away and kept them in his arms while attempting to block out what was happening. Since he had purchased them for him as birthday presents to Dustin, they were the last possessions that belonged to his grandfather. The final objects that evoked his memories. The last part of him he could hold.

Why were his prayers ineffective? Although his grandfather had always assured him that God would hear and answer his prayers, God called him home today. He was correct to lose faith, and his loss exposed the hypocrisy of people who hold tenaciously to the notion that there is a God who exists above and who will provide an everlasting future filled with wealth, adoration, and prayer to those who upheld morality and humanity. Everyone is just scared of there not being anything after. That death was the end all be all. That maybe everything we did in life was meaningless.

However, do some of them who adore and pray to their idealized beings actually comprehend, process, and put what they read into practice? Some of those individuals are the worst people to have ever lived on our planet. Gob's mother was a devout Christian who only skipped church on really important occasions, right? Are you catching his drift?

He didn't get any sleep that night. He spent a late night in bed, leaning against his wall with his laptop propped up on his thighs and the bright light shining back at him in the isolating darkness. Because his sister was too traumatized by the death to sleep without their mother's support, she made a pillow fort in her room and stayed there clutching a bunch of her stuffed animals.

Dustin discovered that he was already organizing funeral plans, creating pamphlets and boutonnières in his grandfather's preferred shades of green and purple. He was overcome with guilt. Why was he, keen to bury the deceased, imprisoned in a dungeon of inability to cry? Was he turning into those callous religious people he insulted?

Then it hit him. His traumatic childhood spearheaded him to take charge and control in heart wrenching times to block out the negative feelings. But how does he break out of the dungeon? Something had to be done.

He went into his grandparents room and dragged his grandfather's rocking chair inside from their balcony next to his grandmother's old radio that sat on the dresser. A number of her cassettes, including the one they danced to at their wedding, were in a box beneath the dresser. After plugging it in and hitting play, he let the music consume his thoughts. Since their passing, he believed that this was the only way he could communicate with them, as they had always told him to come to them if he needed refuge or assistance.

He rocked his body and bucked his head while sitting in silence, allowing his thoughts to clear. Slowly, second by second, he closed his eyes. And when he opened them again, he was in a completely different place.

    His grandparents were sitting in front of him, grinning, and the day was brilliant. His grandfather was tossing his beloved tennis ball against the wall and precisely catching it as it came hurtling back while his grandmother was knitting. This sight shocked him beyond belief.

"'Bout time!"

"What? What do you mean? Where am I? How are you two here?!" He said in a fit.

"Don't worry we've passed on but we're still right here!" she pointed to his heart.

"Okay... If you're in heaven... can you ask God why the hell you two were taken away from me so soon?" His throat tight.

"Because our stories ended child. But yours has yet to get to the climax. You can't move on in life without releasing everything unhealthy that's been holding you back. You're one of the greatest minds and best people to bless this earth. Know that you're loved and there's not one thing you should let hold you back from being who you truly are. Blossom. Cry. Shit, Bleed. Excuse my language. It's part of who you're climbing the mountain to overlook!"

"Goodbye my child. We Love you!" his grandfather ended.

After blinking once more, Dustin returned to the room and the cassette stopped playing. His eyes started to well up with tears, and he experienced a sea of agony and deep tension descend upon him. His mouth trembled, and as more tears streamed down his cheeks, more snot shot out of his nose, causing him to tremble violently.

That's when his mother who had decided to take a late night shower to relive herself noticed the light on in the room and walked in on his sobbing. Noticing the radio, she immediately clutched him in her arms and held his head to her chest. That's when he began bawling uncontrollably out loud digging into her skin with his nails as she tried to hold him up so he wouldn't fall to the ground.

Ten minutes later, he stopped, and it felt like he was a baby again. She took him to the restroom and took off his clothes. She added a variety of soaps, bath salts, bath wash, and exfoliating scrubs to the warm water in the tub, and soon the water started to bubble. He dove in and lathered himself for a while as she used a washcloth to cleanse his body and related tales from her early years about her adored parents.

He'd never had a better bath than that one. After he finished, she put a robe around him and they went to the kitchen while she hummed the cassette's song. After making her father's favorite tea, she took him outside to gaze at the moon. And Dustin understood that everything inside had seeped out. It felt as though he had just emerged from the womb once more.

He contacted Carson once he had finished drinking his tea, apologizing for swiping his hand from him earlier and explaining why. He likewise fell asleep face down in bed after placing his phone face down on his dresser and drifted off peacefully. For once, everything seemed to be in balance. Unfortunately, he was a tad bit late as the traumatic events of the night and their rocky relationship had caused Carson to down a bottle of alcohol inside his closet.

1:54 a.m
After everything that had happened tonight, Beth found herself unable to stop staring at the ceiling. She was devastated to see Mandy in such disarray and it was one of the worst things she had to watch. Being able to sleep easily tonight made her feel guilty.

    There was only one way she knew to clear her mind and make her feel good. She made the decision to utilize her toy for the first time in order to relieve herself of the tension and worry. She assiduously studied the instruction booklet, drew the blankets up over her shoulders, and slithered the toy all the way down to her nether regions. However, it stopped functioning as soon as she started using it, and she discovered the batteries were dead.

    Annoyed, she rose from the bed and went to her father's office knowing he had extra batteries in his drawer. But as she shuffled through it she noticed a folded up note with "Babylon" marked on it in her father's handwriting. Nosy, she opened it up and began reading.

    She couldn't believe her eyes. This was a note that her father had written to Babylon a few weeks prior to the resolution of DeeJay's murder case. Given that her mother was among the last people to see him that day, he intended to expose her with the information she trusted him with and begged for help. Documents explaining that he would be taking her into his care and keeping her away from her once she did get incarcerated were also stapled to the note. Never before had Beth felt so deceived.

7:16 a.m
This morning I didn't even bother dressing up to make myself feel euphoric. Beth and Mr. Rainyman scooped me up and we raced to the hospital with Mandy just before visiting hours began. Gibbs had gotten out of surgery alive!

     Mandy hardly had time sign her name in the visitation book before she bolted for the fourth floor elevator. With her hair still in her bonnet, she didn't do anything much to get ready that morning. She was a little upset with us for being on board with her being taken from the hospital before she could see him out of surgery the previous evening and make sure he was well, so even though we were following closely, we made no attempt to talk to her.

    Beth gestured to his room. 201. His father was seated next to him, clutching his hand, as we knocked and entered.

"Good morning... You look stressed. Is there any new developments with the stab wound? Is everything okay with him? Is he asleep or something terrible?"

"Um... no... no... don't worry. He's barely woken up. Been popping in and out. Been like this for hours actually. He's only murmured a couple words. But he's recovering. Doctor said he should pull through but he needs to get blood... he lost way too much! I've put out the word... I hope people show up soon!"

"I'll go! What's his blood type?" Beth volunteered.

"A negative"

"Sorry... I have B..." she said looking to me.

"I can't either I'm A positive. Mandy can you-"

"Can we just not speak right now... please?" She blurted out followed with a heavy sigh.

We all pursed our lips and were silent. With a kiss on his forehead, Mandy took his hand in hers and sat down across from him. As moral support, Beth and I stood behind her chair, each holding one of her shoulders. After an hour, I attempted to serve her a cup of peaches that I had taken from the nurse's trolley, but she refused to eat. More for me I guess!

After leaving the doctor's office, Gibbs's father came back to the room, feeling heavy with guilt, and tried to figure out how all of this could have happened.

"How did this happen? Do any of you know?!"

Beth and I looked at each other worriedly.

"Isn't there a police report?" Beth asked.

"Yes but it isn't too clear either. I'm starting to think someone is trying to bury what happened or is leaving out important details!"

"I don't know what was unclear... This woman was chasing behind someone with a knife and mistook him for her target and-"

"Yes, yes... I know all this! But in the report it says she was wearing a jester costume! Why?... I saw a video from this girl's Instagram story being circulated of him in the background walking to the area where he got stabbed with you guys a little far behind. The reports says the lady was running towards that area and stabbed him but from the videos of the aftermath it looks like she was already at that area and ran up to him! Plus they said they found the murder weapon two blocks down and her DNA was also on the sharp end but nowhere close to the dull end! That's weird isn't it? Did you guys happen to see anyone following him? There has to be more to this story!"

"Um... no... we didn't! I only saw her face. The report has everything we saw and mentioned" I answered as Beth and Mandy shook their heads "no".

"That's alright. I'm going to the station today anyways. I have to go in to settle some stuff with the police and then I have to try to convince them to let me speak with her!"

    At that moment the doctor walked in holding a couple papers. "Sir, there's someone here to donate blood for your son"

"Great! I'll be right back you three!"

    Not even ten minutes later, Carson arrived and stood at the door concerned. "Good morning. Dustin told me everything! Mandy, are you okay?"

    She shook her head with a crooked face.

"Is Gob okay?" Carson said looking at me.

"Actually... have you even spoken to him?" Beth asked.

"Tried getting in contact and nothing. I went to his house a little while before your father picked me up and no one was there except a couple police officers. All I know is last night at the station she made her call and contacted him in tears telling him how much she loves him and regrets her actions. Babylon told me"

"That's rough. But I'm sorry... I can't stay. I have to get to Dustin's house. His grandfather passed away last night!"

"Yeah, yeah go! Tell him accept our sympathy!" Beth replied.

"Will do!"

     I loved seeing his tiny body run off.

"Hey, can you two get some snacks for me? Specifically some salted peanuts with raisins?" Mandy asked.

"Sure!" Beth and I said in unison as we went searching for them.

     But no sooner had we started down the stairs when Gibbs started to slink out of his Aurora like sleep. Mandy sat up, her heart pounding like a bongo drum and her eyes poised to jump out of her sockets. She kissed his hand while gripping it.

"GIBBS! ITS MANDY! HOW DO YOU FEEL?! ARE YOU OKAY?!"

     But he couldn't form a proper sentence and shivered in pain trying to say something urgent. "M-Mandy!"

"Yes! What are you trying to say?!"

"Be careful! There's some- someone-"

    Before he could finish, though, Mandy jumped up from her seat, realizing that his wound had reopened and was gushing blood. She rushed to the door, crying out for a doctor, and Gibbs fell back asleep. They ran in and had her stand outside as they worked carefully.

Mandy immediately went to find us to speak and said that we needed to get in contact with Carson and Dustin to tell them to meet with us at the library. And once we did, we left the hospital after Mandy checked up on Gibbs one last time after he got restitched. He was stable but resting again.

11:24 a.m
    However, whilst the cat's away... the mice will play. Arrived at the hospital was Masquerade. They were looking for their belongings.

   They had set out to get the phone and to permanently quiet Gibbs yesterday. However, it was impossible to nag the phone without getting noticed given the activity and number of people in the area. Thus, they entered his room and stealthily took it, chuckling at his state of disarray and disappearing from view. A master of getting their way.

12:36 p.m
   The round wooden table was isolated in the middle of the library's psychology book department, which is where we all pulled up chairs. We couldn't help but notice that as people lost interest, the library was slowly getting less and less popular. The only other children who came here had to complete schoolwork and may not have had access to technology because of things like unstable finances at home. Most parents used it as a daycare for their children for a few hours especially now that it was summer.

"So... what's up?" Carson began.

    Mandy had her hands folded as she took a deep breath. "We've became really good friends as I'm sure you guys may have noticed and with everything that transpired yesterday I think it's clear that we should stop having secrets between us. It has led to nothing but destruction. Maybe if we knew of what was happening between Toy and Gob's mom we would've been a little more prepared or figured out a solution earlier or something. I know it's not that easy to just tell people everything... it especially isn't for me. And I'm not forcing any of you to either... But just to create a comfortable environment... I'll start. I've kept this from you because I was scared it would get me arrested or get pinned all on me. Last year, the day DeeJay died, I saw him whilst sheltering from the rain. He did a detour from his neighborhood to his house for whatever reason and met up with me along the way which means I was one of the last people to see him. Also meaning that I knew the detour he took from his house meant that Carson's calculations of how much time he took whilst out was a bit off. See why I kept this under wraps? I tried offering him a ride as my sister's boyfriend was coming to pick me up but he declined and fled. I'm sure you're asking yourself why was I out there in the first place. It's because my mom was bitching and wanted me home ASAP. I thought I could make it home in time before the storm started. My mom's an absolute bitch to me and my sister and has been competing with the two of us and belittling us for years, picking her new guy of the week or year over us. If it wasn't for her mother I wouldn't be as confident in who I am today... I miss her everyday. I keep loosing people and don't know what to do about it and how to not be afraid of loosing more. I almost lost Gibbs. This incident with him just made me more afraid"

    Beth held her hand as we all sympathized with her. And everyone sat in uneasy quiet for a time. Placing books back on the shelf, the librarian's muscle movements were virtually audible by the stillness.

"I'll go next!" Volunteered Beth. "My mom is overseas because my brother is really sick. She shut down Kendrick and his guys entire illegal operation from the inside with the police after securing the money to leave. Also, I was the one who sabotaged Gary and got him expelled. And I've figured out that I might be Pansexual"

"Wow... that's A LOT shorter and to the point than mine" Mandy said and we all snickered a bit.

"I cried for the first time in years last night and finally full accepted my sexuality is who I am!" Dustin blurted out before putting his hand on Carson's lap and going mute.

    Carson smiled. Him letting out this made him feel more comfortable in speaking up "I pretend I'm all good inside but I still feel myself slipping to use drugs or drink alcohol at times. And I think part of the reason I can't stand up to my addiction and find it hard to accept acceptance from my father is because my mother has drilled the niche to block out positive emotions in me and I'm use to being lonely and perfect. My addiction brought me as far as threatening DeeJay when he was trying to help. That's why I was on the tape in the first place and Dustin broke it for me" he rubbed Dustin's palm with his pinky finger "Gary tried blackmailing me with footage of me at his house getting drugs from him... he was the one who introduced them to me in the first place. I got Gibbs to delete it for me-"

"-which is how he found the books" Mandy said finishing his sentence.

Now that everyone spoke up everyone began looking to me to see if I would. After all, I was the most hush lipped of us all. I figured, what the heck!

"I too fully accepted myself last night and won't let anyone make me feel less than and not show who I am anymore. I no longer care what people think. If who I am brings fear and so much emotion out of someone just for existing in my truth then I have to be the baddest bitch walking. It's time that I became selfish"

Everyone smiled and Beth rubbed my back.

"Why was this actually really nice? It feels like a fresh start, no?"

"Ok, can we go get some food now?!" Dustin said breaking the tension before getting up from his seat, acting like he wasn't flustered and full of love for all of us.

Laughing, we all followed him out and purchased some hotdogs from a vendor not too far down. Beth liked hers with only ketchup and I liked mine with only a heavy drizzle of mayonnaise. Carson liked his with mustard and ketchup topped with a huge amount of sweet relish. Both Mandy and Dustin are simple and just like there's with mustard and ketchup. A little boringly bland for my taste buds and disgusting having mustard on there if you ask me.

    And we reassessed everything as we nestled within Derek Walcot Square on a scorching hot metal seat covered in dark green paint. The bank, clothes businesses lining the streets, and the library flanked the area. It was a popular spot for school field trips and events, and today there were coasters full of people who had come to take in the site's beauty. It makes you stop and consider how fortunate and ungrateful we are to have such beautiful scenery to look at every day, only realizing how fortunate we are when others come to share in it and serve as a constant reminder that we live in a true treasure.

    There was lovely green grass in the area, and there was a fountain with water features that could show off Simone Biles level feats that the water could bend and snap to. Derek Walcut himself was depicted in a green bust, his mustache feeling authentically realistic. An elderly man was sitting on the open veranda in the center, which had beautiful walks composed of the finest bricks, playing a wonderful tune on his ukulele. In this area, creatures such as birds, ants, caterpillars, grasshoppers, and trees have created a mini mangrove.

   And a deepening shade covered us on the bench while we finished our hotdogs, brushed off crumbs, cleaned our teeth, took a huge gulp of soda and disposed of our garbage. Mandy, Beth, and I were trembling with fear when we noticed the two eerie women from the Deux Tou Monoir shop standing there as we looked up. Both Dustin and Carson were perplexed, and Dustin's expression was unmistakably angry due to the stench emanating from them.

"Carnival went as we told you it would, didn't it?" The taller one started.

    We were all speechless. She snickered, held the shorter one's hand and they both disappeared into the showering sun rays lower down. I could barely breathe.

"What was that all about?!" Carson said shook.

"These two knew something was going to happen at Carnival! We met them on our trip down the Deux Tou Monoir! It was so creepy!" Mandy answered.

"That place is not normal! I almost got drowned by a mermaid, you were in contact with some type of witches, Beth came across creepy dolls of us and Toy talked to a decade old dead woman?!"

"And some dark figure attacked me in the guest house whilst you guys were gone" Dustin finally confessed.

"What?! Why are you just saying this now?! Is that why you looked so freaked out when I arrived?!"

"Yes!"

"I'm sick of not knowing what's going on around us!" I said, scratching my head.

"Right. I had to lie as I got grilled by my father last night. He doesn't even know I'm here and wants me inside. I'm tired of this!" Beth replied.

"Not more than I am! I have to try to figure out who else was after Gibbs! I can't wait until he is all better and could talk... the suspense is killing me! Gary is definitely on my list. He must of already figured out the books are gone... It's figuring out who else that's the hard part!"

"Well... he was saying something about a replica of Dustin's phone"

"Yeah, he's been looking into that for weeks and hacked into it. Said there wasn't anything else but apps and a location he was going to to return the phone" Dustin imputed.

"A location?" Mandy said intrigued. "I'm going to try to find where that is. Do you know where he had the replica phone last?"

"I'm not sure"

"You know... yesterday in saying his story about the phone I noticed that both of his pockets were bulky and had a print in shape of a phone. I'm thinking he had it on him!" Carson mentioned.

"Sometimes I'm glad you're way too observant!" Mandy snickered. "Okay, I'm going to the hospital to see if they took it off of him! See you guys later!"

1:44 p.m
    Gibbs's father entered the room to Mandy shuffling throughout the drawer. He was confused and had the juice of the apple he was snacking on slithering down his face. What time had she even arrived back here already without him noticing?

"What are you looking for?"

"Oh... sorry" Mandy stood up and pulled down her dress that had risen to below her buttocks "I'm looking for a phone Gibbs might've had on him... brown case? It's... mine!"

"I saw him working on that a couple days ago but it should be in the drawer... The nurses told me they found it on him in the ambulance"

"Well Its gone!"

"Weird. I hope someone didn't steal it!"

"I hope not! There's something on it that's really important!"

"Well he's really good with technology I'm sure he would've saved it's data on his computer"

"YOU'RE RIGHT!"

"If you need it so bad you can have the house keys!" He said removing them from his pockets and throwing it into her palms.

"THANK YOU!"

     But as she began to walk out he stopped her. "Just note that he's a little overprotective over his stuff and what's on his computer so don't touch what you shouldn't. And don't tell him I told you this but his password is his, yours and my birthday combined"

    That warmed Mandy's heart and she couldn't help but smile before rushing off.

2:56 p.m
   It was easy to get to the house, and she was soon clacking in his password while a package of rough tops hung close by for a snack. However, the computer started erasing it on its own as soon as she found the file with the location on it. From clicking all the keys to her even slapping the monitor to try stop it, but it wouldn't budge from any of her frantic efforts. The file had disappeared by the time she attempted to turn off the system.

    She then witnessed the shadow of someone slide past the window. Her bones trembled as she cast a nervous glance about. Her legs wobbled and insides shook from fear. Grabbing her purse, she stepped slowly backward to the back of the house.

She ran to the bus stop after leaving through the rear door, too afraid to stay there alone for another second. Someone definitely knew she was there and what she was looking for. They deleted it.

Once she had flagged a bus and boarded she sat next to the driver still a bit shaken up. Maybe she was jumping to conclusions too quickly. To try to whack her own claims and what she saw with her own eyes, she placed a call to Gibbs's father.

"Hey, it's Mandy! By any chance did you have anyone coming over or left someone to look after your house?"

"Um... no! Plus, all the neighbors hate us. Why?" his muffled voiced jolted through the speakers.

"No reason" Mandy said, fingers sweaty, phone almost slipping out of her hands from anxiety.

"Hey before you hang up... let me ask you something!"

"Yeah... go ahead!"

"The doctors say that Gibbs was had high amounts of weed in his system. Do you know why? I'm only asking because you were the one with him and I know teenagers might try to dabble in that stuff"

"Weed? No, I didn't know! I don't even know that he does any type of drug!"

"Well... okay.... Thanks again!"

And as he ended the call, she realized that Gary was the only one that could introduce him to weed.

10:16 a.m
    My hands were tucked into my low waisted, grey, slim fitting pants. I donned a black sweatshirt with my hair securely tucked inside to ward off the cold since it was raining a little bit today. Huge, shaking thunderclaps followed the flashes of lightning that stunned the gorgeous heavens. Free car washes were being provided, and homes' roofs appeared as though someone had just stepped out of the shower, their hair still damp from a lengthy process of shampooing and detangling their coarse curls. Even though the forecast for today included wet socks, a lot of people were still visible outside.

   With my feet splattering in the water, I approached the orange house cautiously and peered at the stories inside about a domineering mother who ultimately committed Gibbs to the hospital. Gob was standing there. He and his dad were hurrying, clothes drenched, packing bags and necessities into their car. Clearly, they'd seized the chance to move stealthily today while many were tucked away in their homes.

    Eventually, he spotted me across the street under a streetlight and walked across ashamed.

"Haven't seen or heard from you in almost two weeks" I started trying not to cry.

"Yeah... I'm so sorry. Nothing like that should've happened and I blame myself for not being able to protect you and control my mother... I was too embarrassed to face you"

"You don't have to explain yourself. I would've done the same thing as you to be honest"

"Just know I didn't want any of it to be this way"

"I know... So... where are you going?"

"Back to Africa. My father doesn't want me living here with everyone knowing what happened. Plus with my mother now going to prison he can't manage the bills on his own"

"When are you coming back?"

"Probably.... never"

    I shook my head violently in deluded acceptance fighting back tears.

"GOB! LET'S GO!" His father yelled.

"COMING!" He turned back to me "I'm sorry but I have to go!" Were his last words to me as he kissed me one last time and they drove off into the heavy downpour.

    I was unable to cry for the life of me once I got home. All I wanted to do was turn this into a chance to reinvent myself. A fresh start. However, how might that new self appear?

I've been spending hours creating the versions of myself that I see in the mirror in games like MovieStarPlanet and IMVU ever since my transition. Now all I had to do was choose one to imitate. However, before I could, my front door was knocked on. Babylon.

"Good morning! I came to return your jacket!" He started, handing me Mandy's creation that stored so much trauma.

"Thanks! Hope you have a good day!"

"I will, bye now!"

    I closed the door and couldn't help but stare at the jacket before putting it on. I was staring at myself in the mirror when I felt something thin as paper in my pocket. Had I left something there? Was it money?

    It was a red note, much like the one Gob's mother used to write to me. I opened it, afraid. Did she slip this in on Carnival Day to give me one last warning, and I missed an opportunity to spare Gibbs from harm?

"Toy, I know you might find this hard to believe and you might even throw this away but please just at least give it a second thought. I was framed. There was someone else wearing a jester costume. They're the one who stabbed Gibbs. I know you noticed when I looked at you that day that I wasn't wearing a cloak. There was someone else that knew what I was going to do and snatched my own opportunity from me. They rushed into the crowd I was lurking in and put the knife into my hands! PLEASE, BELIEVE ME!"

12:33 a.m
    Every one of our facial clay molds were arranged on a white desk. Masquerade approached them, caressing the molds while they stroked my cheek. They seemed to prefer the static like sound that was produced when their leather gloves were rubbed against the surfaces.

There was an old looking, gloomy vinyl player at the end of the table. To the left stood the box containing their assortment of vinyl records. They were partial to opera and classical music, but tonight called for something more. They unspooled the plastic wrapping from their favorite album and opened the package. They added The Chordettes' song "Lollipop" and allowed it to stream.

They turned around and settled upon a king size brown leather couch that produced sounds louder than those store bought plastic cake casings. Beside it sat a little table made of exquisite wood. There was a tall, pricey bottle of the best wine and a hefty chalice that they had filled to the brim with wine for themselves on top of it. After taking a few moments to sniff the beverage and the chalice's rim, they took off their masks and set them on the ground next to their feet.

    They were staring at the five of us, drawn in a hyper realistic sketch on the white walls. Sketches, computer parts, eerie dolls with our faces, and boxes of random objects perched on the walls, one atop the other. Everything had perfectly fallen into place. Everything was in its proper position. And now... everything could commence. The game's on motherfuckers. Have you picked your player? Have you read the rules throughly? And... Are you ready to play?