It surprised me that Yeonjun really waited and stayed awake until I came back home. The green dot was still shining in the corner of his cool profile photo. Unlike Kai's anime-themed couple one - still matching with mine - that was just making my stomach twist in crumps, so I tried to avoid it... looking at Yeonjun's I hoped he could just miraculously solve something, anything, and get me out of the doubts Taehyun put into my head. 

Before doing anything else, I texted the probably already quite enough sleepy waiter that I just got home. Nothing less, nothing more... just so he knows his waiting is over. After that I took of my jacket, hung it over the chair and threw my dead body on the bed. 

Could I just melt away into nothingness here forever please? - I thought breathing out and closing my eyes, when the phone finally vibrated twice in the palm of my hand casually placed next to my head. I peeked at the screen from behind my slightly open eyelids. 

- And? 
- What did he say? 

Oh God, how do I even start now? - I bit my lip, going through all of the memories that only happened less than half an hour ago. Then I brought my knees up and bent them closer to my stomach. 

- Or did... 

Yeonjun managed to develop his question. With that addition, my thumbs got stuck over the keyboard for a while. 

You mean... -
Except that he kissed me and told me that he and Kai got together? -

- Wowowow, wait 
- What? 
- I tried hard to not fall asleep. did I lose it? 
- Or it doesn't really make sense 

Well... It's real. -
Kai had this crazy polyamory idea before... -
Few days ago he apparently presented it to Taehyun -
Who obviously really doesn't plan to give up on me and happily agreed -

- Oh god damn wait 
- Waaaait 
- Like they're offering you to date 'em both... fr 

Yeah... -

- Wow that's
- That's kinda generous

Mhm... Kai is still mad though -
And knows nothing about that session -

- Tsk
- Yes, that's why I didn't quite get that
- Lil Tae fr has his own rules of the game huh

More dirty ones than you'd expect -

- Seems so
- Is that why I was losing? Jeez

After that sentence I placed the phone back next to my head and stared at the ceiling. Just how did Taehyun dare to ask such question? Whether do I love Yeonjun? What kind of cheat is that?

The unbreakable bond we have... His overwhelmingly charming yet so kind persona, but especially how fragile and lovable he was that night when we finally opened up to each other... and even how he is still so considerate... able to talk with me about the other two guys who used to be so close to me just a few days ago, even though the whole school sees me as his boyfriend and it all could ruin his cool reputation in a blink.

He even left such a sweet guy as Soobin because of me... So even if I would be strong enough to do so - how could I just throw away all that determination and sacrifice? Yeonjun loves me.

Kai was the same...

Though he also still loves Soobin.

After ignoring several notifications the phone started ringing... prompting me to pick up the call. I hesitantly tapped the green symbol, speaker... and put the phone back on the pillow with a suppressed exhale.

"Hey... it's half before two in the morning, can you not ignore me?" said a sleepy, somewhat distressed voice. "Are you alright...?"

Just how fast his soft voice and the caring question squeezed my heart and soul...

"Jun, I really love you," I unexpectedly teared up and covered my mouth which left out such embarrassingly fluctuating tone that reminded me of Yeonjun's own drunk confession.

"Ahh, no. No, baby. Nobody's denying that. What's wrong?"

I chuckled through the tears, absurdly running down my cheeks, and wiped them.

"Did Taehyun possibly mention something about me?" he asked differently to keep me focused on his solicitous voice.

"He asked me if I love you... Good one right?" I added after Yeonjun remained in a short silence. 

"Ahh that witty punk..." 

His deep sigh let us in the noise of mobile connection waves... getting louder in the late heavy night atmosphere. 

"And... Uhm... What did you reply...?" 

"Of course that I do... I do love you, what else?" I whispered... did it so weakly I started to think that maybe the listener couldn't even hear it and that was the reason of him being speechless.

"The bond between us... it is true love, right Jun?" I wanted him to reassure me... I longed for his voice to relieve me of some doubts again.

What should we actually fight for? Are we really just supposed to sacrifice some of our feelings? And why...

"Some predestined... harder to understand form of love... but yes - we belong together, it's certain."

I slightly nodded to myself, then turned on my side, my eyes suddenly meeting the ghost of Hyuka's essence. This spot behind me by the wall, it used to be his, used to be warm - I pursed my lips and hugged the pillow.

"Don't you just miss him? Soobin-hyung... Doesn't his place feel so much empty and hurtful?" I mumbled.

"Are you thinking about Puppy?" he asked fleetly as well, referring to Kai by the nickname he gave him.

"Mhm..."

Sigh.

"Sure... I miss that dumbass a lot," Yeonjun replied with the honesty that became an essential element between us... along with necessary empathy.

"Then what if... ahh, I mean... What if we are misunderstanding this all, Jun? If it all just can't fit without us being sad... What if we are only supposed to be really close?" After all those things between us and finally admitting I should not avoid him, it was really painful to assume something like that out loud.

"What do you mean by that...?" he asked anxiously, making me gulp.

"Now I really want you by my side... You are such an amazing person and companion, Yeonjun... and I really love you. Now I know that," I started with something I hoped could ease the thing, "but what if you simply belong to Soobin, me to Kai and Taehyun... and we should just support and cheer each other on our paths?"

A quiet chuckle and sob was heard after a while. 

"Wow... before I felt like I lost it... but I guess only now I feel like a real loser..."

I sat up and gripped the phone tightly.

"No, please don't let me hurt you. It's just- We were already so happy before and I am so glad I don't see you as my enemy anymore... I really am, but I don't think we'll ever stop missing them and- I don't really wanna lose Kai completely..."

"Don't worry, I understand you," he sighed again, his heart must have feel so heavy, "gosh... I kind of predicted that."

"I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be, babe. It's too late... and it's not like I am any different, so what," hopeless soft chuckle was heard from the other side.

"Promise you won't leave me now when you got so close..."

"Fools stand together, Beomie~ Go for Kai in the morning... we can talk later, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Good... now go to sleep and rest well. Don't worry about me."

+x+