Alas kuwatro y media ng hapon nayari ang huli naming klase, walang ekspresyon kong inilalagay ang mga gamit ko sa bag ko at nang matapos ko nang ilagay ’yon ay kaagad ko na rin ’yong sinukbit. Bahagya akong tumingin sa labas, it seems like a peaceful afternoon and I do need to go home as early as I can because I have a shift at 6:00 p.m., this is one of them days that I get a full load on my schedule from morning to night and I know that I’ll fucking tire my ass out.

Bumuntong-hininga ako at napansin kong kakaunti na lang kami rito sa classroom, wala na ang mga tao sa likod na kanina lang ay para bang sinisintensiyahan ako sa mga tingin nila. I know that they’re planning to move, or at least already set a bait.

Malas lang nila, I’m going to do my part of the plan. Wala na rin si Kuya Herald sa classroom, I told him not to interfere with the plan but he told me that he would be there if something happens. He’s probably still inside the campus.

Kinapa ko sa bulsa ng pants ko ang isang maliit na box, oo nga’t binigyan kami ng tig-iisa no’n ni Joe after the picnic last time. I then checked on my phone if there were any updates but there’s certainly none. It looks like I’ll be the next target, I better get myself ready for anything unusual happening.

I walked out of the classroom only to find the hallways empty, well... well... well... it seems like the plot has been written. I turned it on and I hid it under my polo shirt, I walked to the empty hallway to face whatever it is. At tama nga ako, bumungad sa harapan ko sila Amor at ang mga kasama niya.

Na sa gitna ng daraanan ko si Amor still wearing her non-standard Educ uniform, the light yellowish blouse with short sleeves and short bodice that I mistakenly thought that she’s wearing a crop top, hindi na rin kaya i-accomodate ng fitted niyang blouse ang laki ng kan’yang dibdib. Her fitted skirt’s so fitted that it was air tight and it’s so short to the legs that I can literally see the edge of her groins.

Suot niya rin ang signature make-up niya, muka siyang espasol, straight ang kan’yang buhok at bangs which I actually thought suited her because of her name. Makakalimutan ko ba naman ang kilay niyang charcoal pencil drawing? Well, of course not, it was beautifully made today as for the occasion.

Her eyes are dead mad looking at me, and I can sense that through her piercing stare. Her lips, red as lava, gaya ng iba niyang mga kasama. Siguro’y isang lipstick lang ang gamit ng mga ’to kasi pare-parehas ang kulay ng kanilang mga bibig.

Nakaharang sila sa daraanan ko, so I acted natural and I tried to walk passed them, but then, someone grabbed the back of my collar which shocked me. I fell to the floor, feeling the pain it caused me. Even so, I smiled through it and I looked up at them—from head to toe.

“So this is how you play your game, huh, Bangs Amoro Sevillano?” I asked her, wearing a mischievous smile.

“I can see na kinakalaban mo ako, kayong lahat. Pero ang lakas naman ng loob mong paringgan ako sa klase ni Sir Mac kanina—” Hindi niya na natuloy ang sasabihin niya nang magsalita ulit ako.

“Natatamaan ka sa example ko? It was a generalized term, anyone can get offended.” Ibinangon ko ang sarili ko sa pagkakaupo at matatag akong tumayo nang may ngisi pa rin sa ’king mga labi.

“Listen here, I’m not the kind of person that you can easily crush. I know all about your issues already, Amor, and so as your self-proclaimed sorority.” Ngisi ko sa kanila.

“According to the NEUST Handbook series of 2019, ang mga sorority na gaya ng sa inyo ay mahigpit na ipinagbabawal on the premises of this university. But still, you formed one, this is actually a serious offense.” Saad ko pa. As expected, nakita at narinig ko silang tumawa.

“I expect that you would say that, but hey, nandito pa rin kami, buhay na buhay, at hindi ikaw ang makapagpapataob sa sorority ko.” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh yes, hindi ako—kami.” Pilyo akong ngumiti sa kanila.

“What the, talagang hindi ka titigil? Puwes, makikita mo kung sino ang kinakalaban mo.” Amor then snapped her finger, pagkatapos no’n ay bigla na lang tumakbo papalapit sa ’kin ang dalawang tao sa grupo niya—Jharlyn and Khalifa.

They were both members of the university taekwondo sports team, hindi ko lang alam kung anong belt ang mero’n sila. I stood there, waiting for them to hit me so I could dodge. Jharlyn first attempted to kick, but I dodged it faster than her speed. I catched her left ankle with my right hand and I directly slammed her back to Khalifa—nagkatamaan silang dalawa at parehas silang bumulagta sa sahig.

Nakakalimutan yata nila, lalaki pa rin ako kahit gan’to ako. And no one even knows that I’m gay, so why would they bother to fight a straight up semi-muscular guy? Even so, I learned Martial Arts back in junior high and I invented hacks to counter it. I so damn know that they’re making a fool out of themselves.

“’Wag ako, Amor, ’wag ako.” I said in a deathly tone, I lowered my tired eyes and I sighed deeply.

But to my surprise, she pulled out a stunt.

She’s mad, really mad. I was shocked on how she reacted after that, she’s on her way to me now, ready to fight by herself. Even so, I can’t afford to lay single a scratch on her. Magagawa ko ’yon sa mga kasama niya pero kapag sa kan’ya na, ibang usapan na ’yon.

Napaatras ako nang bahagya habang lumalapit siya sa ’kin, this time, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Naloko na, akala ko aatras na ang mga puta pagkatapos no’n. Talagang hindi nga magpapatalo ang mga gagong ’to, I kind of underestimated Amor. I thought that he wouldn’t go this low but she went even lower.

But suddenly, I saw someone covering me, napaatras ako nang biglang humarang sa harapan ko ang isang malaking katawan. Pamilyar ang amoy niya kahit pa nahaluan na ’yon ng amoy ng pawis, the smell of combined chocolate and vanilla. Saka ko na lang din nakita nang malapitan ang malalaki niyang mga braso at ang malapad niyang balikat. His thick red hair swooshed right at me, I can actually tell that Kuya Herald is the person in front of me.

“What the? Get out of there, Hiro! Hindi ka kasali rito!” Narinig kong sumigaw si Amor, pero nanatili lang do’n si Kuya Herald.

“Did you actually forget that I’m also a friend of Rhai? And I also know that your group targets anyone that opposes you, at alam ko rin ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw mo kay Rhaiza. Mahiya ka sa sarili mo, andumi mong tao, Amor, hindi bagay sa pangalan mo.” Pagkatapos no’n ay dumura si Kuya Herald sa sahig.

I held his arm tightly for any possible thing he might do if he’s not held to stop. Kinuyom niya ang kan’yang mga kamay, it revealed his veiny fists. Kinabahan ako sa kung anong gagawin niya, baka hindi makapag-timpi si Kuya.

“K-Kuya... babae ’yan...” I whispered, maybe he heard me, maybe not. Pero ang hindi ko pinakaaasahang mangyari ay ang masabi ko ang salitang ’yon.

All my life, I’ve thought myself that everyone should be as equal for what they do. I shouldn’t drag women down and think of them weaker, pero ngayon... nasabi ko ’yon dahil natatakot ako sa kung anong mangyayari. Hindi ko alam kung gugustuhin ko bang mabugbog si Amor pero nakasalalay naman dito ang moral ni Kuya Herald.

“Damn you, nag-Educ ka pa, balahura naman pagkatao mo. You shoul’ve taken your crap to the other departments—no, other universities, maybe. You all don’t deserve to be standing here, mas deserving ang ibang mga estudyante sa slots niyo rito sa College of Education kaysa sa inyong mga anak ng kung sinong Poncio Pilato.” Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang sabihin ’yon ni Kuya, pero napatawa lang si Amor.

“Ano bang pinagpuputok ng butsi mo, Hiro? Wala naman akong ginagawa sa ’yo, was this the effect of what happened to you? Kawawa ka naman, pero I think, you fucking deserved that!” Amor teasingly said it, my eyes widened even more.

Shit.

Nakita kong nanlaki ang mga mata ni Kuya Herald, mas lalo siyang nag-init. Kaagad na ’kong pumunta sa harapan niya para pigilan siya sa kung ano mang magawa niya. Kaagad siyang sumunggab pero pinigilan ko siya.

“You have no fucking right to say that! You have no fucking right to bring that up!” I heard him yell. For the first time, I heard Kuya Herald this way, para siyang halimaw, para siyang tigre, leon, o kahit ano pang mabangis na hayop.

Malakas na ako para mapigilan siyang madakma si Amor, nakita kong natatakot na rin sila sa ekspresyong ipinakikita ni Kuya. Hindi ’yon biro, talagang galit, nginid, at poot ang sumasalamin sa muka ni Kuya Herald. It scared me, it scares me to see these kinds of faces, it scares me.

It fucking scares me...

“Umalis na kayo! Putang ina, umalis na kayo!” I shouted out of desperation, I turned a mad expression into Amor’s group, grappling like chickens.

“Wala kayong karapatang sabihin ’yon! Mga putang ina ninyo!” Nagpupumilit na kumawala si Kuya Herald sa pagkakahawak ko, dito ko na siya pinigilan mula sa harapan.

Saglit pang natameme ang grupo nila Amor bago ako muling sumigaw sa kanila, and this time, I shouted because I don’t know what to do anymore. Dito ako nakadama ng matindinding kaba dahil hindi ko alam na hahantong pala sa gan’to ang lahat. Ni hindi ko alam ang ikinagagalit ni Kuya, ni hindi ko alam na kaya niya palang magwala nang gan’to.

“Putang ina, Amor! Umalis na kayo, utang na loob!” Sigaw ko, at dito ay parang mga kambing silang nagsitakbuhan palayo.

“Mga duwag! Putang ina niyo! Duwag!” Narinig ko pang sumigaw si Kuya, nanlaki ang mga naga ko sa nakikita kong galit at gigil sa kan’yang muka, sa sobrang takot ko ay...

Nasampal ko siya...

Nawala ang alingawngaw sa hallway, nawala ang kan’yang mga sigaw, katahimikan ang nanatili. Naririnig ko ang malalim na paghinga naming dalawa, nangingingig ang mga kamay ko sa ginawa ko, napasinghap at handa nang tanggapin ang kasunod na mangyayari pero... nakadama ako ng init. He... hugged me—tightly.

Malalim ang paghinga ni Kuya Herald, nararamdaman ko ’yon dahil sa higpit ng kan’yang pagyakap ay nakasandal na ang ulo ko sa kan’yang matigas ngunit maligamgam niyang mga dibdib. His warm hands did not touch me, it stayed clasped. But I can feel the heat of his arms and his trembling body engulfed in rage.

“K-Kuya...” Napapikit ako, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero... gusto ko ang pakiramamdam nito.

Hindi normal ’to, hindi normal ang makitang nagyayakapan ang dalawang lalaki o ang dalawang tao unless... it’s driven by something romantic or emotional. Yeah, it was driven by rage but two boys! We are both boys!

Hindi alam ni Kuya Herald na... pero... bakit niya ako yayakapin ng gan’to kahigpit? Bakit niya ’ko yayakapin nang gan’to kaligamgam sa pakiramamdam? Bakit?

This is the first time in years that I received a hug, this this the first time that it felt this genuine. Hindi ko namalayang tumutulo na pala ang luha mula sa mga mata ko. Yumakap ako sa kan’ya pabalik, at alam na alam kong naririnig niya na ang paghikbi ko.

Ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataong nakaramamdam ako ng gan’tong bagay, this just shows how fucked-up I am as a person. I feel this pleasure though the pain of others, I don’t know what to react, I don’t even know what to do next.

“S-Sun... t-thank you.” Kuya Herald thanked me, possibly for holding him back. Hindi ako umimik, walang kahit na anong tugon bukod sa pag-iyak at paghikbi.

“Tama na, it’s okay now... ’wag ka nang umiyak...” I heard him comforting me, I felt his hands patting my head and caressing my back—he finally touched me.

His calming voice and his warm hands made me stop from crying. I let go of the hug, looking down because I can’t bring myself to face him. Suddenly, he grabbed my chin and pointed my head at him. I saw him smiling genuinely.

“Did you got it?” he asked me. Napangiti na lang din ako.

“Silly you, was all that even real or what?” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s real, they fucking offended me.” I don’t want to ask why because I might be the one he’s yelling at next.

“Anyway, I-I got it here.” I chuckled while stuttering.

Tinanggal ko sa polo ko ang ikinabit ko kanina, ang ibinigay ni Joe sa ’kin noong nag-picnic kami. It’s a small body camera that can record sound and video on its highest quality. Napangiti ako at pinindot ko ang ‘stop recording’ button nito. Nakangisi ko naman ’yong tinignan at inilagay ko na ulit ’yon sa maliit na box.

“Edit that, I don’t want them seeing my pissed side. You’re the only one who saw me like that and I don’t want to bring that out again.” His look was serious, I just smiled and nodded at him.

“At last, we did our part of the plan. Now, what’s next?” I asked him, he just held my shoulder and he smirked at me.

“Maghihintay tayo sa iba, then sabay-sabay tayong aakyat sa University Student Government at sa University President.” Saad niya, ngumiti muli ako.

“Let’s go, hatid na kita, baka mahuli ka pa sa kung ano mang errands mo.” He then offered me a ride.

I genuinely accepted that.