Today was a very weird day for both the heroes and the city in general. "Why?" you're asking? Because about five thousand goats had escaped the confines of the mountains and decided to move into the city. Permanently.

No one knows why this has happened but it's happened and all the shepherds are absolutely devastated. Not only that but the goats have been causing a huge mess in the districts by causing car accidents, trampling kids, raiding bakeries and nut shops as well as stealing people's shopping bags. Most parks have already been visited by the gigantic her, evident by the freshly mowed grass and naked bushes. Basically, they've made themselves at home. They'll be hanging their coats on the trees before you know it.

That is the problem the heroes and the locals have been facing for about an hour and a half. Either they are making sure no one got hurt or they are trying (and mostly failing) to wrangle the white little bastards. It's not just the lower ranking heroes who are helping, though. The Dream Team were the first ones to happen upon the goats. Here's how it happened:

It was a normal morning -they weren't even working! Their shift would start in an hour and so they were just doing a round around the city to see if anything was amiss. George insisted on bringing XD, claiming that he shouldn't be cooped up in the house for so long, so then the small blob of a god had hopped on Dream's shoulder and the four of them left the house.

Despite Dream and Sapnap's caution about basically letting a god roam free, XD proved to be worthy of their trust. He stayed on dream's shoulder the whole time and as a reward, Sapnap got him one of those fancy decorative umbrellas to shield himself from the sun (apparently, even gods could get sunburns, who would've thought?). Although, he did act like a toddler who had been taken to the toy store for the first time when they entered one of the many food districts downtown.

They had to stop at every vendor they came across. They had to see what they were selling and if it was sour or sweet. Every sweet went through a taste test performed by the three heroes before landing in the greedy hands of XD. Well. In the space where his hands should be. Today, XD wanted to try Japanese cuisine; all the culture talks with Sapnap and the pretty and delicious, drool-inciting pictures of Kinoko's (Bad and Sapnap's homeland) most expensive dishes the demon showed him the day before did their part in working up the god's relentless appetite.

So they worked their way through the vendors, going from salmon sushi, noodles and rolled omelets to mochi, wagashi and green tea cookies. Honestly, none of them have ever been so happy to have their civilian identities hidden from the public than they did when they were ordering the various food items one after the other. It's one thing to buy one or two things to eat but a kilos worth of food may be passing the limit in spite of XD's opinion.

They had just bought the little blob a stick of botchan dango, the little bastard already biting off as big chunks as his (invisible) small mouth could house, when this disaster struck. When the goats appeared in the roads, white and black four-legged creatures flowing down the main road like a fucking river.

Of course, they all knew what this meant. Every hero knew.

They'd been expecting a sign for a long time now, ever since he escaped from Pandora -the fucking bastard somehow managed to escape Pandora a month or so after he'd been shoved in one of the most secure cells in the damn prison. He had been put in a straight jacket, feet and hands held together by chains instead of leather straps, an iron shock collar that activated when the prisoner exited the cell without an escort, constantly under the supervision of the one and only Warden -a hero from whom no villain got away from.

They should've been more careful with him, for God's sake. They didn't even see the fucking mechanical mantis come from the depths of the ocean surrounding the prison.

And they all knew that Goatfather's "Perimeter" project wasn't done; it hadn't even reached the midpoint when The Crowfather stopped him. Dream himself had visited the maniac in his cell in an attempt to interview him, as well out of curiosity of what that genius looked like.

"The Perimeter is just the start", was all he'd told him so sure that he'd be continuing the project, like he knew that he'd be out and about soon, despite the insurance of Warden. Darn it. That's why you never underestimate a crazy person with an ability based on redstone manipulation, an ability that (before Goatfather) was never before recorded.

Thing is, they weren't expecting the sign to come in the form of a fifth of the country's goat population migrating to the city. They were expecting it to be in the form of a Batsignal but modified to represent the G.O.A.T. -whatever that means- or an explosion or an actual appearance in some form of disaster.

So, the Dream Team rushed to HQ, got dressed and returned on scene to find that other heroes and the shepherds who chased after their goats were stuck trying to herd said goats into trucks. Which would be an easy task to do with people who actually know how to herd the animals if the goats themselves hadn't gone all feral on them. Half of the amount were sent to vets to be treated for rabies and the other half insisted on headbutting everyone.

XD simply stares at the heroes as they work, staying undisturbed on Dream's shoulder, under the shade of the green decorative (very pretty and aesthetic) umbrella with the half-eaten dango in hand. He's very clearly displeased with how their little outing has turned out and he makes it even more obvious with the way he glares at the goats like they have personally offended him, huffing and the skewer moves like he's crossed his arms, almost stabbing Dream in the ear.

"What's up with you all of a sudden?", Dream asks because he earnestly has no idea why the god's mood has shifted all of a sudden. He still has food in his hands, he shouldn't be whining about that now.

The blob simply taps his arm with the pointy end of the skewer, prompting the hero to lift his arm and look at the time. Oh, would you look at that? Their shift is about to officially start.

"You should be looking for The Watcher at this time, not herding goats", the god points out and Dream stifles a chuckle. For whatever reason, XD has developed a fixation on the flying menace of a villain, especially after the light show yesterday. George had to practically pry him away from the TV and deactivate all phones in the household (thankfully, XD has no idea how technology works and therefore didn't bother with the 'broken' devices). "Leave this unpleasant chore to the peasants", and of course, XD still lacks manners and as they have learnt, the god has high standards for his friends. Apparently, 'peasant work' does not suit the three heroes.

They should really teach him some manners when they return home.

"XD, we get that you're a god but this is what heroes do", Sapnap says as he wrestles with a ram, "We help people, how many times do we have to explain this to you?"

XD looks unfazed by the demon's chiding. Dream loads another goat into the nearby truck and George drags a sleeping lamb into another. It's a good thing that George exists because thanks to his sleep spores, the job is being done quicker than without.

"Why are you so obsessed with him anyway?", George asks the blob. XD takes a bite out of the dango before responding.

"Well... I had my suspicions about his powers before-"

"Why didn't you say something, jerk?!", Sapnap's complaint goes ignored.

"-but now I'm certain. I can track him down"

The three of them stop pestering and coaxing goats into the trucks, instead turning their heads to look at the white blob with wide eyes. Thankfully, none of the other heroes have noticed XD yet or they have and they just can't be bothered with questioning Dream's new doll.

"Track him down? How?", Dream asks, curious about this new power the small god has just announced to them.

"If you stop doing peasant work, I'll tell you", XD insists and the three of them sigh, letting the rest of the goats run away from them. It's fine, the SBI has arrived on scene anyway.

"Fine", George is the first to approach, Sapnap following so they could talk more quietly. "Spill it, now", the brunet demands and Dream swears he feels XD shiver on his shoulder. He clicks his tongue and shifts his weight from foot to foot, being quite uncomfortable with the very obvious swooning and faint blushing of the god. He is a god, for Christ's sake, he shouldn't be acting like that!

"All I'll tell you is that I can sense the aura of his... kind", XD starts, having finally pulled himself together. Dream does not know why XD said that the way he did. "If you can get me a feather or some cloth from his clothes, I can track down his home, friends, family and work"

Dream squints his eyes at the god even though that's not visible from behind his smiley mask. Even George seems to be having doubts and he is the one who spends the most time with XD out of the three of them.

"Are you sure you can do that?"

XD turns his head to Dream, skewer pointing threateningly at his mask, right where his right eye would be.

"Are you doubting me, mortal?"

Dream immediately flails his hands, like doing a calming motion would work on a creature perched on his own shoulder. It does nothing to calm the other, however, as the skewer is only shoved closer to him.

"It's just a bit-"

"A bit OP. A little hard to believe, y'know?", Sapnap interrupts. The skewer is lowered and the last piece of dango is eaten within a second. XD sighs in disappointment and Dream is pretty sure he hears a slap as if the god facepalmed.

"You, humans, are so tunnel-visioned that you don't look past your noses", he mutters, loud enough that he won't be heard past their little huddle.

"Hey, Dream!"

Dream looks up and away from his partners and friends to look for the one who called his name. On his shoulder, he feels XD freeze up and the skewer drops to the ground for a passing goat to munch on. Running towards them is Foolish, one of Dream's good friends and trainee of Puffy's back at the HQ.

"Oh, shit", XD hisses, hopping closer to Dream's neck as if trying to hide.

"What's wrong?", Dream doesn't think that Foolish is that scary. Sure, he is wearing a shark hat with very pointy teeth and his overall look of gold can be quite intimidating to the normal person but to a god? Dream didn't think that XD could be scared by anyone, let alone another human.

"That's my brother", is the next thing he hears as the god tries to pull at Dream's hoodie in an attempt to hide in the hood, folding his little umbrella.

"You have a brother?", Dream gives him an incredulous look, followed by the gawking of George and Sapnap.

XD peeks his head out from behind the mound of fabric on Dream's shoulder quite sheepishly and he hisses like he's narrowed his eyes at Foolish, who is apparently -somehow- the brother of a blob of a god.

"...Adopted"

Ah. That explains it.

*

The clinic's waiting area is much less dull than Tubbo thought it would be. It's not the stark white he's used to seeing in the TV shows or the mundane furniture and the modern glass coffee table that this sort of room is supposed to have. Instead, there are weird pictures of weird mechanical things that Tubbo finds to be incredibly interesting, a basket of fidget toys, a green plant in the corner and couches that are clean and have a woven cloth draped over the back. It's a weird mixture of stuff but it makes the room feel more cozy and interesting.

Tommy pushes past Stress and shifts into his raccoon form half-way, wasting not a second in sprawling himself on the cushions of the nearest couch. Tubbo isn't as nervous as he thought he'd be and Tommy raises his thumb, giving the all-clear for them to sit. The cushions are weirdly soft, making even Ranboo's shoulders relax as the tall boy practically sinks into the seat. Stress simply giggles at them.

"You three stay here for a second. I have to check in with Doc, okay?", she says, receiving a small 'okay' from Tubbo and a nod from Ranboo. Tommy simply curls up in between the two of them and looks at the woman with a challenging look, just daring her to actually go and call the doctor.

Tubbo can feel his hands tremble slightly. His fingers jitter and he drums them against his thigh for a second. He shouldn't have agreed to coming; to having his genes looked at. Giving a look at his most recent purple scab on his leg -covered by his pants-, he determines that he can live without knowing what other stuff he has going on within himself. This doctor is surely going to approach them with a stethoscope and needles and a mask that will hide most of his face, with a terrifyingly big, evil and malicious grin.

Ranboo nudges him in the side to snap him out of it. It somewhat works; Tubbo makes an offended face and swats at him but Tommy hisses, rather displeased with the play-fighting, and almost bites Tubbo's finger off. It seems that they all are nervous in different ways.

"Why did we agree to coming again?", Ranboo complains, leaning back on the couch, pulling his feet up on the cushion and into his chest. Tommy starts scratching at the pant leg now hanging in front of him.

"We were promised ice cream", Tubbo groans. He's already disappointed in himself for giving into Stress' puppy eyes and the promised treat. Tommy chitters at him. "And candy floss but... ugh"

"I want to disappear", Ranboo agrees.

Just then, Stress returns with a beaming smile on her face. The door is left open behind her and Tubbo can only guess the reason for that. The weird thing about the woman herself, however, is the fact that she is wearing a nurse outfit. Why? Tubbo isn't quite sure and his friends make the same confused faces and noises as him.

"Why are you wearing that, Stress?", Ranboo asks with a brow raised comidically high.

"I work as a nurse for Doc, mate"

That makes more sense. Actually, that also explains her weird work schedule and the free Mondays. Wait, why did they not know about this?! Well, it's not like they get a chance to question all this because they are all quickly urged to the open door. Tommy, being the most stubborn, refuses to budge from the couch, resulting in Stress prying him off with little difficulty. The raccoon stays cuddled up against the woman's chest, gripping her shirt like his life depends on it -and it probably kind of does. Tubbo cries a little on the inside because he also wants to curl up somewhere and hide.

"I promise that no needle will come your way, guys'', she says, holding Tommy a little tighter and side-hugging Ranboo when she notices him shaking like a leaf. "It's just an examination. I think he'll check your reflexes too- remember those times the doctors on the shows tapped their patient's knee with the little hammer?"

All of a sudden, Tubbo is more curious and excited than he is anxious and nervous. His energy must be contagious because Ranboo returns the hug with more fluid movements and Tommy climbs up to perch on Stress' shoulder. Honestly, Tubbo feels a bit left out, so he completes Ranboo's half-hug.

"You three are adorable but we must go see Doc", and to the doctor they go.

The first thing Tubbo notices when he enters the office is that it is very different to those on TV. Instead of the little mechanical, futuristic-looking bed in the middle of the room, there is a mahogany desk with many little gadgets and toys on top of its shiny surface, a framed picture of a woman holding a child sitting innocently at the side, a small lamp, a notebook and some other stuff that Tubbo can't be bothered to assess. The examination chair is in a room connected to the office and the walls leading to it are decorated with dinosaur and fairy stickers, which really leaves all of them dumbfounded.

Are they really in a doctor's office? There's a cartoonish giraffe sticker with a small body and a ridiculously long neck stuck to one of the lean wall protrusions with lines and numbers to count a child's height. Yeah, they are probably not in a doctor's office; let alone a clinic.

"Children, meet Doc", Stress introduces them and right on cue, the chair behind the desk begins to swivel and Tubbo swears he can hear the Godfather theme playing in his head, despite having never seen the movie.

A man with thick, curled goat horns protruding from his short, brown hair is slowly revealed. Sharp jawline, greenish skin, pointy ears, face framed by the high collar of his lab coat. The smell of gunpowder becomes more prominent the more he turns and Tubbo is intrigued while his friends only grow worried. To be fair, creeper hybrids don't have the best reputation, being seen as explosive and short-tempered, rash and illogical. The only reason they are tolerated nowadays is because of Warden, who is a creeper hybrid himself, so Tubbo can't blame Tommy and Ranboo for it.

They've all seen what Warden can do when he's given a good reason.

The doctor smiles at them, revealing white teeth and incredibly sharp fangs. One of his eyes is clearly mechanical and it only intrigues Tubbo's curiosity more rather than make it falter. The man specifically grins at him like he's noticed the bee's clear enthusiasm. There is a small bundle of fur resting in his lap and he is carefully petting down the creature's back. The little animal lifts its head -it has horns. It's a fucking baby goat.

They all ogle at the kid in the doctor's lap and Tommy chitters a few words in raccoon tongue, showing interest.

"Welcome to the clinic", the man says and Tubbo is somewhat taken aback by the deep, gravelly voice and foreign accent. It suits him weirdly well, though, so no one comments on it.

This doctor is weird, Tubbo decides. One, his office looks childish and too home-like and two, Tubbo is pretty sure that having animals in a sterile area and petting them goes against all hygiene rules doctors have to abide by.

"Why is there a goat?", Tubbo asks, plopping himself in one of the chairs in front of the desk. The man chuckles and the kid in his lap simply bleats at them like they're all intruding in the petting.

"You must be Tubbo"

"That's me, bigman. Now, why is your clinic so weird?"

While Stress almost chokes on her own spit, Tommy and Ranboo both stretch their ears to listen, also curious and interested to know why this clinic dares be different from the rest. The woman sets Tommy down on the desk, falsely assuming that just because the goat is a fellow mammal, that he won't attack it. Surprisingly enough, he only approaches to sniff it.

The man laughs. "Every kid that comes through rates their experience with stickers", he explains. Reaching into a hidden drawer of the desk, the man pulls out a bunch of cards with dinosaur, car and princess stickers of various sizes. "The big ones are a 10/10 and going down, the small ones are 1/10"

Somehow, only the big and medium sized stickers have been stuck on the walls. Huh, so this guy is good enough to provide an amazing experience to children? No. Wait a second; it must be a trick. No child wants to be outshined by choosing a sticker smaller than the rest so of-fucking-course when they're presented with so many choices, it's common sense that they'll choose the biggest and most dominant sticker left on the card. This bad, psychologically manipulating genius of a man. Tubbo is impressed.

Tommy quickly steals the car stickers straight out of the man's hand to look over the different vehicles on it. Most are little cartoons of old car models but there are also a few remaining of new models and also some motorcycles at the side.

"You must be Tommy", the doctor says, quickly hiding the rest of the rating stickers in the drawer he pulled them out of. He then directs his gaze at Ranboo. "And you are Ranboo, correct?"

"It's nice to meet you, sir", Ranboo bows his head only a bit.

"He's the only one who knows the definition of 'respect' out of the three", Stress smiles and pats the enderborn on the shoulder. The doctor laughs, the baby goat sticks its tongue out as if to mock the taller boy for being nice, and it must be contagious because Tubbo can feel the corners of his own lips tug upwards.

"What's your name by the way?", Tubbo asks.

"My name is Doc"

"No, seriously, what's your name?"

"...It's Doc"

"...What the fuck"

Okay, seriously, what's wrong with the parents of these people? First Scar, which, yeah, Tubbo will agree, it's a pretty cool and badass name but now Doc? What in the fucking world-

The doctor, Doc, smiles sheepishly at him and Stress smacks Tubbo upside the head.

"Ow!", he deserved that, honestly.

"Respect your elders, blimey", Stress scolds but her words fall on deaf ears. Tubbo doesn't know the definition of respect, therefore he won't pretend to know it like someone else he knows -looking at you Ranboo.

"It's alright, Stress. I can't expect to gain their respect just by being an adult", Doc chuckles and Tubbo raises a curious eyebrow. The man smiles at him in turn before standing up, letting the goat down. The kid runs off to an unknown corner of the room, probably planning to eat their socks when they won't be looking. "Anyway, we can get on with the examination now. Are all of you my patients today?"

...Is Tubbo supposed to raise his hand now? He and Ranboo are the only ones who actually need to be examined but... do they really need to? No, he's not getting cold feet all of a sudden, he just... he doesn't want to sit in that horrible, tasteless examination chair! Yes, that's it!

"It's just Tubbo and Ranboo. Tommy came along for the ride, really", Stress answers for them, chuckling at the way Tommy chitters at her like she's revealed his master plan. She probably did reveal his master plan -whatever said master plan was (or is).

"Alright. Tubbo, come with me", Doc takes the initiative to invite the bee first. Fuck.

Tubbo purses his lips but Stress' reassuring smile is enough to make him get up from his seat. Well, at least the doctor isn't holding any needles in hand and the examination bed looks comfortable enough. So, he plops himself on the mattress, flings his legs out and waits. He finds it incredibly weird to be sitting on the bed, in a foreign room but thankfully there are a lot of things to focus on; like that bin of fidget toys in the corner or the hanging ear tool things on the hanging board.

The doctor is quick to come back to him, all smiley and friendly-looking. Tubbo's eyes zero in on the horns, which, now that he's up close, are way bigger than he thought. They have these little bumps and rings along their curly selves and the bee finds them pleasing to look at and trail the length of them.

"Stress has told me that you've been getting these purple scabs on your knees", the man says, pointing at said knees. "Can I take a look?"

"Isn't that why I'm sitting up here?"

The doctor chuckles. Tubbo only feels a tick of irritation on his brow at the reaction.

"Alright then", and with that, the man gently grabs his leg -Jesus Christ, why are his hands so big?- and slowly rolls up his pant leg to just above his knee. And right there, in all its glory, is one of his famous purple scabs.

The man pokes at the scab and simultaneously looks at Tubbo's face, as if expecting him to cringe or make a face. Wait, he's probably trying to make the poking hurt. The stupid daredevil. Tubbo just sticks his tongue out, brings his leg back and kicks the man in the shin in quick succession. Ha. Look who's in pain now.

"Tubbo!", Stress exclaims when Doc backs away with a barely audible 'ow' and a groan of pain. It's like he kicked her instead of the doctor and Tubbo can't quite understand why. He was the one trying to cause him mortal injury!

"I claim self defense!", he protests and Tommy cheers him on. Ranboo, on the other hand, simply shrinks in on himself; the weakest link amongst them.

Doc regains his straight posture. His face is still contorted somewhat but he still looks friendly enough. It seems Tubbo hasn't put him through enough to make him stay the fuck away. "I wasn't trying to harm you, are you crazy?"

"As a matter of fact, I am", somehow, that one receives a startled laugh from the man. Stress merely facepalms out of disappointment.

"I was just checking to see if it hurts", Doc explains. Man, does Tubbo feel stupid now.

"Oh"

"Yeah, 'oh', I'm a doctor, not a supervillain"

For whatever reason, Stress sneezes. Ranboo mutters a small 'bless you' and she thanks him. She then takes her leave, saying something about there being people in the waiting room.

"Behave yourselves", is all she tells them before actually exiting the office.

"Well, let's try this again", Doc sighs, "No kicking this time, please"

And Tubbo grins.

Let's just say that the examination wasn't one Doc's favorites and that he didn't kick them all out because he's very good friends with Stress. Otherwise, maybe they'd be at the police station and dealing with lawyers and shit.

But they aren't sooo...

Doc scribbles something down on a notepad, grinning from ear to ear regardless of the way his thighs tremble and how he looks about ready to fall over. Tubbo looks at his feet the way a girl would look at her nails for a second, absolutely smug and proud of himself. But then the doctor frowns and his face turns somewhat sour. He sends Tubbo away and calls in Ranboo; neither of the two look all that pleased with Doc's expression.

"Are the scabs bad?", Tubbo asks as the man checks Ranboo's red eye on his white, mysterious side. "I can't really tell with how your face looks"

The doctor hums as he shines a light in Ranboo's eye and Tubbo cringes slightly at that. "No, they aren't bad in the common sense of the word", he tells them, "It's... let's say, a rare feature"

Huh. So Tubbo is a rare Pokémon card now. Awesome. Great. But what does that shit entail?

"Once I'm done with Ranboo, we will discuss this in depth, alright?"

"Sure", Tubbo mutters. He can't lie to himself (he really wants to know what these purple scabs are all about) and he is itching and biting his nails in silent anticipation. A loud bleat comes from beside the chair and when he looks, he finds the little baby goat. "Does he have a name?", he asks as he gingerly picks up the little creature. Its fur is so soft and thick that his fingers just sink in it.

Tubbo could say that he's in love with the little guy.

"He doesn't, no- Turn your head this way, please"

"Let's call him Horny Guy"

Tubbo screeches out of pure fear and terror, almost jumping out of his seat when Tommy in all his human, non-furry glory, puts his hand on his shoulder. The kid in his lap screams as well and Jesus fucking Christ, why do goats sound so much like humans?! At that, his raccoon friend puffs out his chest and looks absolutely proud of the name as he reaches down to pet the small goat.

"See? He agrees"

Ranboo bursts out laughing and almost impales his eye on the man's horn -said man having turned to look at them with the most disappointed face Tubbo has ever seen.

"You are not calling him that"

"Yes, we are"

And it's been decided. No one can go against Tommy once he's made up his mind.

"We have also claimed ownership over Horny Guy", Tubbo adds and tries very hard not to coo at the kid as it head-bumps his stomach. Lil' guy has got nerve and it's the absolute cutest thing he's ever seen!

"You can't do that-"

"Watch. Me."

That settles it but Stress will probably kill them if they try to bring a goat back to the block of flats. Her and the rest of the tenants, actually, because goats are infamous for their chewing habits. Well, it'll be fun while it lasts.

The doctor sighs and returns to examining Ranboo's weird albino side instead of arguing back. He clicks his tongue and scribbles something down on his notepad before withdrawing himself to the big bookcase in the back of the room. Holy Hell, that's a big bookcase and it's actually filled to the brim. Who needs that many books? Why does a doctor need to display books in his office?

"Interesting...", Doc mutters as he quietly flips through one of the big books on the high shelf. "Ranboo, do you get any urges to set things on fire from time to time?"

"No, sir"

"That crosses off nether mobs then. Hmm..."

Oh, so he's trying to figure out Ranboo's other half now? Tubbo does not feel betrayed, not at all.

"Hey, what about my half?", he complains but he is simply waved off.

"I've figured yours out, it's pretty obvious just from the scabs that you're half Shulk"

...A half what now?

"Since you're quiet now... Ranboo, do you have any recollection of accidentally falling into a deep body of water at any point during your life?"

"Um, my memory is pretty bad", Ranboo shrugs. "So, no"

Putting his book down, the doctor returns to the enderborn's side, muttering something about having another look. He gingerly takes Ranboo's arm and prods at it with his fingers while the boy looks at him curiously. Tubbo is curious and confused himself; both about the question and the fact that Doc is prodding at his friend's arm.

"This might be a water burn", the doctor says, looking surprised himself. "I've had some enderborn patients come in with a few but I haven't seen any this bad"

"So I fell in water at some point during my mortal existence and because of how painful it was, my brain decided to erase the event from my memory?", Ranboo asks, tail twitching in interest and Doc chuckles at the way he phrases his question. Tubbo can't imagine what it's like to be learning about your own life through unknown skin markings.

"Possibly, yes. The skin feels leathery all along your arm and there is some discoloration-"

"What about my eye, though? It's all red and stuff"

"If you had albinism, your skin would be a very light pink, not half black like this"

"But my eye is red", Ranboo persists. Tommy walks to the big bookshelf to have a look at the books. Tubbo simply continues to pet Horny Guy, who is munching on his shirt. Hopefully, goats have baby teeth because he really doesn't want a hole in it.

"That probably has to do with your burns. Heterochromia of the eye can be caused by injury or trauma to the eye, so water might've gotten into your eye when whatever happened to burn you happened"

"Huh. That weirdly makes sense"

Tubbo hears voices come from outside the office. He can distinguish Stress' very easily, especially by the ups and downs her tone takes because of her accent but there are two more male voices accompanying hers. Are there more patients? They're probably patients, whoever those other two people are. The door opens shortly after Ranboo has been discharged from the bed and Stress walks in with a beaming smile.

"How are things going? They haven't caused too much chaos, have they?", she asks and Tubbo throws a stern, foreboding glare Doc's way before smiling innocently up at the woman. It's a look he's learnt from Pearl and it's proven to be quite useful in almost every situation. 'Almost' because it works on everyone other than the master herself, something that is a little irritating to Tubbo.

"No, no, they've been quiet", the man says and Tubbo smiles even more. "Now, I want to talk to you all about Tubbo"

Tubbo's smile falters.

"What about me?"

Doc sits back down at his desk and pulls the sticker cards out from the drawer. He gives the car ones to Tommy, who excitedly takes them and holds them, simply looking through the various choices. Tubbo knows that he's listening, though, because that raccoon is too curious for his own good. Ranboo sits down in the one remaining chair with wide eyes and slightly raised eyebrows. Stress doesn't look all that calm about this either.

Do they know something Tubbo doesn't? Why is he even asking, of course they do! At least, the adults do.

"So, Tubbo's scabs are the result of Shulk genes"

At that, Stress looks a little unsteady on her feet but she braces herself against the back of Tubbo's chair.

"You okay, Stress?", Ranboo asks, mildly concerned like the rest of them are.

"Yes, yes, I am", she responds quickly. Then, she adjusts her stance slightly and addresses Doc.

"Aren't Shulk hybrids-"

"They are quite rare, yeah. Now, here is a little history lesson for you" -he points at the three and Tommy looks up from the stickers in his hands- "Shulks were hunted down for their armor, a sample of which are your scabs, Tubbo and it's super valuable. There are people who sell shulk hybrids in the black market that go for billions"

Wait. What. Tubbo blinks, completely dumbfounded and feeling weird all of a sudden. So, what he's being told is that people would kill for his head. Or his knees, where his scabs are. Huh. To be honest, those purple patches are as thick as bricks, therefore it is understandable why they are sought after but hunting and selling actual people for it?

Tubbo shivers and his blood goes cold. Stress grips the chair tighter and Tubbo thinks that her nails have pierced through the back of the chair. As for his friends, they look just as terrified.

Doc simply nods at them.

"Just make sure that no one sees them while the wounds heal and you should be fine. Just don't get any more physical injuries afterwards"

That... sounds easy enough, like being given instructions for putting on skin lotion. He can probably stay a few nights in the attic, doing nothing while his friends go out there and fight bad guys, and dying of boredom on the old mattress in the corner. It's a sacrifice he'll have to make.

Wait a minute. Why does a doctor know that there's a black market for Shulks-

"Right", Stress responds after she is done pulling herself together. "Well, you three best get going. There are patients waiting outside"

They get going before Tubbo can actually voice the question. The baby goat bleats at them one last time and Tubbo salutes it with a little sadness but the anxiety and nerves of his friends keep him from showing it. Stress doesn't follow them outside, probably having nurse stuff to do in the office -they don't know, they're merely guessing.

But Tubbo doesn't expect to see who he sees sitting in the waiting room. Or, he thinks it's the same guy as that one time... There is a scarf wrapped around the man's neck, red, yellow, black and orange, all bright and mixed. He has ash blond hair, somewhat curly and shiny. No, the original guy was wearing a balaclava, not a scarf-

The way the guy looks at Tubbo and Tommy in recognition, however, is enough to tell Tubbo that they are absolutely fucked. Of course karma got them in a doctor's office of all places! Just their luck!

"Guys, why have we stopped?", Ranboo asks, only a little worried at the fact that his two best friends have frozen in place.

"Ponk, are you alright?", the guy next to the scarf-guy asks. That one looks to be a creeper hybrid as well, which shouldn't have surprised them as much as it did seeing as the clinic belongs to one.

"It's you!", the guy, Ponk, says as he points an accusing finger at the two of them. The creeper guy looks a little confused until- "You're the kids who mugged me!" Uh oh.

"Um, guys, why is he accusing you of mugging?"

"Ranboo be calm about this and fucking run!", is all Tommy yells before they're booking it out of the clinic.

That was an eventful day.

*

Wilbur did not think that searching for three vigilantes would be hard. It's just three kids playing heroes and exhibiting their flimsy parkour skills on rooftops. How hard could it be to find them? was a question he'd asked himself right before he left his and Techno's new apartment for his night shift.

Oh, yeah, regarding this new apartment, they moved out. Enough was enough and while Phil is the best father ever, he can get extremely overbearing at times, especially when one of his rules is a flee-on-sight order against The Watcher. And that's exactly why the two of them decided to finally leave the nest and spread their wings to fly to a door just above Grian's house. Yes, they specifically chose to live close to Grian so they could have someone to calm and assure Phil that everything would be fine and that his sons weren't getting up to anything particularly bad.

The landlord, Xisuma, he believes the man's name was, didn't hesitate to rent them the apartment when his brother mentioned Grian and the three of them being friends. That Xisuma guy is a nice guy. That would not be the case for the tenants of the block of flats.

As Grian predicted, they went through "Hermit Inspection™" and Wilbur can't say that the people living in the building are anywhere near sane. Then again, with the gas prices going up and the economic crisis existing, who hasn't lost a bit of their sanity? Wil has lost plenty himself but what he and Techno witnessed was the epitome of "not sane". Even that nice lady that is their next door neighbor must be a bit of a looney.

One can not be sane and go up against The Blade with a fucking pan, man. Just, trust him on this, okay? Even her name gives it away: Stress. No offense but how can someone stay sane with that name?

Moving on, there is Pearl and Gem, who they learnt live on the second and first floor respectively. Two young ladies, artistic and completely innocent-looking before Pearl started asking them their thoughts on tarantulas and pythons and every other animal and plant life that could kill a human being. Okay, maybe that can be considered normal but the question of if either of them liked to hang upside down cannot.

Techno didn't really like her either but not because of the weird questions. It's more of a gut feeling but he didn't know why his gut was telling him that. Anyway, Gem seemed fine until she started threatening them with having them be abducted by UFOs.

Sadly, neither Grian nor the landlord told them of how insane the women of the building are. Speaking of, Stress is maybe the most normal of the three and the mother of the three kids that accompanied the lot on their little interrogation. Wilbur did not ask where the father is, believing that prying into that on their first day in the block of flats would be seen as crude and plain ass rude. Actually, wouldn't it be many fathers? What with one being a raccoon, the other a bee and the final an enderborn? Yeah, it would've been so rude if he had asked; thank God, he dodged that bullet.

At least, Techno seemed ecstatic at the idea of seeing that Ranboo kid again and chatting with Mumbo once the "Inspection" was over. Wilbur doesn't know why his brother is now attached to those two exactly but he's shrugged it off. He can guess the reason behind Mumbo K. Jumbo, the CEO of Boatem Co., whom he got attracted to because of some stupid spuds and a fluffy dog that probably reminds him of Floof (they both miss Floof, the small, well-trimmed maltez Phil bought Techno on his 16th birthday) regardless of the way that Kubo (that's Mumbo's dog) is of a different breed, a different color and a different snout.

That doesn't matter now, though. Not as the wind rustles in his ear, not as he weaves through the streets on his normal patrol schedule in an attempt to find the three vigilantes they've been chasing for... how long have they been chasing them for? A week? In this week, they've found out little about them but they did learn one very important thing: for some reason, the villains are protecting them. No one outside of SBI knows what the small encounters with these vigilantes entail and if any of them did try to explain it, they wouldn't believe them.

The Watcher actually has a heart. Techno told him that much when he had managed to corner the kids, right before getting impaled by his own trident -what a nightmarish night that had been. Wilbur didn't believe him then, because an avian cutting open his own wings to save a person who is falling off a building is unheard of; not even Phil would do that and he is a fucking hero!

"Our wings are sacred", that's what he told them when he and Techno were only a few years old when they'd asked their old man about the huge pair on his back. The times when his wings would get injured were always heartbreaking to Wilbur because Phil would be depressed for as long as he couldn't escape to the sky.

To think that an avian did that... Wilbur didn't know what to think of it at first. But then, it was his turn to be saved. Right as he was going to save one of the wanted vigilantes, The Watcher saved him.

He doesn't remember much. The memory of it is a mere shadow above his head, a blurry road underneath his hands and a pounding head, his legs numb, a heavy weight slowly being lifted off him. Technoblade helped fill in the gaps when they got back to HQ and he was taken to the healers. It... took a little bit of pondering. He couldn't wrap his head around the reason why that supervillain decided to save him -a hero- and endanger his own life; his wings even. Whether that was for Ghostbur or for RaccoonInnit (that's what the reports say his alias is), he doesn't know. That is why he lied at the morning show he'd been invited to.

So, that is why he is on a double mission: to find the vigilantes and then The Watcher. He knows the guy is immune to his abilities for some reason and that renders him helpless in front of the extraordinary abilities he showcased in the fight between him and Slimecicle -Blackjack's right hand man. This one he doesn't remember clearly either: only a blinding ass light that almost had his eyes boiling and then he remembers being lifted on a stretcher and the sound of loud police sirens.

As he turns the road, he hears a very distinct voice come from above him. If his ears aren't playing any tricks on him, that must be that RaccoonInnit kid talking to his accomplice as is betrayed by the other one he hears. Their little trio is up on the rooftops as it would seem but Wilbur is on the ground. That's fine, even though there is no physical way to get up there from where he is. Keyword being "physical".

At night, he can honor his hero name and become a literal ghost. It's a weird power that he has, which only unlocks at nighttime, when the moon is bright enough to charge his cells with its lunar energy. Slipping into the material of the building beside him is an easy enough task but climbing up it has always been tricky and it doesn't get any easier no matter how many times he does this little exercise. He gets to the top nonetheless, paying no attention to how his lungs squeeze and his nerves slowly frazzle.

Peeking his head through the flat roof of the building just enough so that only his eyes are visible, he spies not three but two of the vigilantes. It's RaccoonInnit and that tall, lanky enderborn with teleportation abilities, whom Phil had referred to as "End". Creative name. That's a sarcastic statement, by the way.

There is no trace of that bee guy, though that's to be expected. Bee hybrids abide by bee rules and at this hour, it's only natural for the kid to have stayed behind to catch up on his sleep. Good for him, bad for his friends. Techno told him that he is the real threat out of the trio, especially because every bee hybrid's sting is unique and made to either immobilize or to kill. Therefore, it's better now that he has to deal with only these two.

Wilbur sits there for a minute, wondering how to initiate the conversation that will lead to the apprehension of the two vigilantes. Maybe a direct approach would work? Nah, he's a fan of the theatrics, not the quick-paced police scenes in TV shows. A more labored approach would work, certainly!

"Am I interrupting something?", he says as he raises above the roof, hovering above the pipes of the nearby water tank. Under his fabulous venetian mask, he scrutinizes the kids before him, who startle and screech at the top of their lungs.

Why do children have to be so loud?

"What are you doing here?!", the loudmouthed raccoon yells, pointing an accusing finger at him. Wilbur simply chuckles at the silly, stupid question.

"Well, dear child, after saving you from a supervillain, I expected that I'd at least receive a thank you", he says before waving him off. RaccoonInnit simply gives him the middle finger and his teammate attempts to lower the other's arm by force.

"If you're here to arrest us, let me tell you that it won't end well for you", the raccoon warns him. It's a pretty stupid warning, to be honest and Wilbur smirks. The temperature drops and he revels with the way the two children in front of him freeze.

"Don't talk back, brat", is all Wil says, his voice echoing through the cold of the night. He grins when the raccoon tries to do the exact opposite, only for his vocal chords to betray him. The kid claws at his neck, eyes blown wide at the realization that he'd had his speech rights removed (temporarily, of course, Wilbur isn't that evil). "See? Isn't it better now?"

"What did you do to him?!", End demands like Ghostbur has stabbed his friend.

"Do not teleport away"

The enderborn freezes like time has stopped itself. Wilbur claps his hands in amusement.

"And now, we'll go to the police station and call your parents"

Out of the back pocket of his jeans, he brings out two pairs of power-dampeners; simple dampening bracelets enchanted with the Curse of Binding, an ancient enchant that was dug up for the heroes to use. Supposedly, there is only one individual who knows of the ancient ritual but Wilbur hasn't had the pleasure of meeting them himself. There is one last bracelet in his pocket that he carried for the bee fellow, which he doesn't need.

"No, no, Ghostbur, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into- woah!", Raccoon Innit grabs End by the shoulders, mouthing silent words. End shakes his head. "I can't teleport us, Innit!"

When the kid speaks next, it looks like he's throwing a temper tantrum. Wilbur approaches them calmly enough, whistling a little tune as he leisurely unlocks the first bracelet. RaccoonInnit stands in front of his frozen friend as if he can protect them both. Wil clicks his tongue in annoyance.

"Sit still and let me put these on you, for fuck's sake", he watches as the raccoon crumples to the ground like a pile of sand. Perfect. Time to put an end to this quest and return to the action-packed ones -finally, after a whole damn week! To think Phil thought this would take longer than seven days! Ha!

Something catches his attention as he is locking the bracelet around the raccoon's wrist, though, and it is not the pleading of the enderborn to not take them to the police. Raising his head, he spots someone perched on a building in the distance. It's a tall building, perhaps the tallest in the area and the first thing he thinks of is that his father has decided to go looking for his sons. Behind the individual, big, black wings spread open and Wilbur narrows his eyes. He can't see well enough in the dark to distinguish any particular features but the recent events add up enough for him to know that Phil is on their trail.

"What?", End asks as he looks at Wil with the face of a deer caught in headlights. Wilbur decides to ignore him, simply lifting the raccoon kid into a sitting position before moving on to the enderborn.

Sparing another look at the winged man, Wil finds that he is much closer than before and for a second he wonders how he didn't hear him. Phil's feather's aren't those of an owl and generally, his wings make enough noise to attract attention. RaccoonInnit turns his head to End and mouths something at him before jutting his chin towards the direction of the avian.

End, then, says the most haunting sentence Wil has ever heard.

"Oh, that's not The Crowfather"

Wilbur looks at him and blinks. It only takes a second for the realization to sink in. Oh shit, it's The Watcher and with a glance at the avian's wings and seeing small glimmers of purple, it is confirmed. Honestly, he should've guessed from the outfit right away; Phil wears green, not black! Well, it seems like he'll get to complete his little sidequest, sudden as this change of schedule is.

He only manages to straighten his back in the few seconds it takes the villain to swoop down. The one thought that crosses through his mind the moment those alien, violet eyes come into view, glowing and mesmerizing is: Oh fuck, Phil is going to kill me. It appears that the villain is going for a tackle but The Watcher pulls up at the last second, raising his feet to Wilbur's chest and kicking hard.

Hard enough to send him skidding across the roof, coughing and gasping for breath -he thinks he has a broken rib or two. A foot presses down on his lungs, preventing him from inhaling the oxygen he needs so damn badly and he snarls at the half-covered face of the villain.

There is a strange smell that comes with the avian and the only way Wil could describe it would be: the void. The wings that ruffle and flap give off a nice, satisfying shine of faint purple and he guesses that it is the feather dust that makes him smell like that.

"The little bird has left the nest?", The Watcher asks, a taloned hand grasping Wilbur's chin sternly enough that he isn't able to look away. The voice changer would be funny, with the ups and downs of the tone and the accented speech, if Wil wasn't in such a vulnerable position.

He doubts that he will be killed, because the rest of his family were spared from such fate and Wil was saved by this man. But the thought still lingers because he's seen what this villain can do and he's heard of what he's already done; he knows very well what happened to George and he knows what happened to Punz. This guy isn't someone to be toyed with, yet Wilbur decided to do just that, and on top of that, he is unaccompanied. Alone.

The vigilantes simply watch from where they are; the one sitting and the other standing. Out of mild curiosity, perhaps, despite how dangerous this situation might turn out to be.

"Let go of me, bastard!", Wilbur says, using his ability even though he knows it will have no effect. The Watcher ignores him, his eyes narrowing as his head tilts to the side, all bird-like. The bastard, then, reaches for his mask, and Wilbur flinches and tries to wiggle out of reach or out of his grasp entirely but he is held in place, transfixed by the violet gaze like he's staring into an enderborn's piercing eyes.

His whole body tenses and he goes limp as that darn gaze petrifies him completely and his mask is lifted enough for his lips to show- it stops there. The hand retracts and Wilbur can move again; not much in the iron grip on his chin but he can. The question is why. Why did he not unmask him fully? Why not let the humiliation end swiftly? Why drag it out? But the reason must be irrelevant because the man adjusts his position so he's sitting on his haunches to not be in his face.

"Say that again, little bird", and the violet eyes narrow. Shit, seems like he's hit a nerve but Wil has always been stubborn and he won't stop being stubborn now by apologizing. Wil clicks his tongue. The situation is so docile now that he thinks he can push forth with his own plan.

"I want answers"

There is a small pause before the expression on The Watcher's face changes. His eyes crinkle and there is a shake of the head, dirty blond tufts of hair swaying with the movement. Wil narrows his own eyes, out of annoyance of the delayed response and the fact that the eyeholes of his mask are blocking his vision now.

"Answers to what?'

"You know", Wil all but spits in the man's face. "Don't play dumb. Why did you save me? You want a favor?"

The Watcher laughs. It's not the mocking sort of laughter -it feels more surprised, like Wilbur caught him off-guard.

"I saved you? No, The Blade did, didn't he?", so he watched the morning show. Great. "I just fought off Slimecicle and restored the destroyed buildings. That's all they need to know, correct? So, you and The Blade don't owe me anything" -but everyone else does, that's what he means. Everyone owes him not because he fought off the giant of Las Nevadas but because he saved everyone else's butts.

But the hero society is stubborn enough to not accept that reality and to challenge this supervillain until they do -unless someone manages to prove their ignorance.

With that said, he lets go of Wil and stands, grabbing the hero by the arm and helping him to his feet. The vigilantes are nowhere in sight; presumably, the siren effect worn off at some point and the two scampered like the little annoying cockroaches that they are. He adjusts his mask quickly so his face is covered again and pulls his hand out of the villain's grasp.

"But we both know what really happened", Wil says. Just because the press doesn't know the truth doesn't mean that it never happened. They both know what happened; them and his brother and two fucking vigilantes who could go spilling the tea anytime they wanted; well, Wil guesses that no one would believe them if they did do that. "What do you want?"

The villain does not respond. He doesn't move, he doesn't speak; he only watches and the way those darn violet eyes flicker like a faulty light bulb is unnerving Wil to no end.

"State your price, damn it", he pushes, gritting his teeth as seconds pass with no voiced answer. He does a vague motion with his hand and that's when the flickering of the violet stops and The Watcher's head snaps at him, making Wilbur tense.

"We'll meet again, little bird-"

"Stop calling me that"

" -The crow is on his way, tell him and your brother I said hello", is all the villain tells him and lets himself fall off the edge of the roof. It only takes three strong flaps for the man to disappear into the night, leaving Wilbur stunned where he is standing.

He knows. Fuck, he knows! The Watcher knows about his family, he knows that The Blade is his fucking brother, fuck. And that means that he probably knows that Phil is their father; what with him calling Wil a "little bird" -the bastard, Wilbur isn't little anymore!- and stating his knowledge so openly.

The next person who arrives on the rooftop is The Crowfather. His father engulfs him in a big ass hug and starts throwing questions, having seen The Watcher leaving the scene, but Wilbur was silent.

How in Hell am I supposed to tell them this?

==================
As you can probably guess, I have made XD quite the foodie in this but that can be explained by the fact that he had never tried human food before so after he got one bite of it, it all just went downhill from there.

If you have any questions about the plot or characters, you can state them in the comments and I will answer them as long as it doesn't reveal much about the next chapters!

Have a good one, everyone! *gives cookie and milkshake*