Today, we are opening with three Sam and Doc centric segments! Thanks to those who were theorizing about them being brothers, now we have a mystery relationship between the two creeper-men, with only subtle hints at what sort of relationship they have. (Feel free to theorize, it generates content :) )
Following up, Tommy warms up to Martyn and meets Scar, and for dessert, we have a crispy, singed, burning block o' flats! Because everyone likes a little angst :)

This is also the turn on the road, you can see the finish line just a few chaps away!

---

Sam's home is pretty silent on a normal day. He doesn't live with anyone, just himself, and the occasional guest who tags along after his shift or comes over to visit. Guests aren't all that frequent, seeing as Sam prefers to chat at the HQ or within working hours because most of his friends are from his work area; that means, they are heroes. Most of them.

The baby goat becomes the guard dog of the house within the one day he has him around. Honestly, he acts more like a dog than a goat, in the fact that he bleats whenever a car passes by or a plane takes off or a motorbike that deserves a speeding ticket. He also takes up most of the space on Sam's bed, regardless of his incredibly small size. Sam has to physically push him to get him off and he deems that getting headbutted in the face is worth a good night's sleep.

Waking up with half a bump on his forehead isn't all that fun but they have medical staff at the hero HQ to take care of this issue.

When he does wake up on the second day of babysitting the animal, it isn't to the kid bleating his lungs out or licking at his face or nomming on his socks, like he'd woken Sam up (every four hours for his milk, right before his feeding alarm goes off) last night. Instead, it is to his phone blaring music, signaling that someone is calling him in the ungodly hours of the night. The goat jumps off the bed, definitely scared shitless -and who could blame him, really.

Groaning into the pillow he has buried half his face in, he fumbles the night stand with a hand that is only slightly numb from sleep and not-so-deftly swiping about ten times before he catches the small phone icon. Sadly, he swipes the red button, ending the call before it can even begin, and because he likes sleep, he merely shrugs it off and turns on his other side. If the caller really needs him, they'll call again -hopefully when he'll have a semblance of caffeine in his system.

Sadly, fate doesn't really like him.

In less than two minutes, when Sam can almost feel sleep coming back to him, his ringtone plays. He turns around, shuffles the covers, slams his fist into the pillow beside him in frustration and glares at the spawn of evil at his bedside. The baby goat bleats loudly, eyes the nightstand with an ominous gaze and Sam doesn't know how he caught the baby before it headbutted the piece of furniture but thankfully, he did.

He sighs and figures that he should pick up now that he is more-or-less awake so he can go back to sleep right after. Depending on who is calling him, he might just put his phone on silent and be done with it -the goat does a better job at waking him up every two hours anyway.

The emoji of a goat stares right back at him, the light of the screen straining his eyes. Ow.

"Couldn't you have called earlier?", he says into the phone, falling back onto his back. The baby animal jumps on his chest and Sam manages to not grunt in protest to that. He turns his face away when the goat lies down with his fluffy tail towards his head.

"Hey, Sam, sorry for calling this late. Is my goat there?"

"He's sitting on me as we speak, actually"

He hears gruff laughter from the other end, no doubt aimed at his suffering. It gets a tired, amused huff out of Sam anyway.

"Yeah, yeah, stop laughing, I want to sleep, y'know", the laughter quietens to a few chuckles and Sam knows that Doc is smiling on the other end of the line despite the lack of sound. "How are you? Any wounds? Are your prosthetics working?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Some dust got in the compartments but I cleaned that out so uh, I'm good for the most part"

"I take it you've been trying to salvage the World Eater?"

The first time Sam was introduced to the giant machine of literal doom, he'd bit his tongue, swallowed it whole and thought that maybe, just maybe, he should be afraid. But he can't bring himself to be afraid of the creation, no matter how much TNT, gunpowder (whole barrels of the stuff) and redstone wiring is in it. Sam has to commend the design of the second version, really.

"Whatever is left of it. There are guards posted around it-"

Sam chuckles, jostling the goat on his chest. Said goat jumps off him and curls up next to him on the mattress. "Huh, I wonder why that would be!"

"Haha, yeah, laugh but anyway, I got most of it back. Your guards are stupid, should hire someone with psychic abilities, honestly"

He hums into the receiver, lips quirked up mischievously. "We do have someone with psychic abilities, actually" -he takes pleasure in hearing Doc suck in a breath, "You saw someone with brown hair, yeah?"

And then he holds the phone far away from his ear because Doc is yelling curses at him for spooking him so badly. Sam laughs so hard, that the goat, annoyed, jumps off the bed, walking off into the hallway -far away from all the noise.

"Very funny but just you wait until you open your front door one day and your house is blown sky high"

It's not much of an empty threat, Sam knows. He knows a lot about Doc, actually, and so he makes a mental note to at least reinforce his door in the morning.

"Right, when are you coming over for the goat?"

"Tomorrow, probably in the evening, we'll see", Doc hums, "I'll just let myself in if you aren't home, that cool?"

"Sure"

"Alright, you two sleep well. Good night!"

Sam doesn't respond, opting for hanging up instead. He groans as he turns to the side, pulling the covers over him and throwing his phone somewhere on the mattress. Man needs sleep, even though he has to get up in about ten minutes to feed the baby.

*

Sam takes the goat to work the next day. No one really comments on it, since the goat is too short to be noticeable in a room full of two meter tall people. The little guy almost gets stepped on every two minutes because apparently, small animals have the tendency to entangle themselves in others' shoes. At this point, Sam thinks that the goat is confused about what animal it's supposed to be but he doesn't mind... much.

He only minds when the goat trips him, seemingly on purpose, like a rabbit. Ponk laughs at him instead of helping him up and Bad -who is hanging out in the tower, that is the Dream Team HQ, today (he doesn't come by very often)- raises an eyebrow.

That is also the moment that the baby goat at his feet is evident.

"Awww! Sam, is this your new pet?", Bad asks, crouching down to pet the goat. Sitting back on his knees, Sam shakes his head.

"No, just goat-sitting for a few days", he says with a chuckle. The animal has taken a liking to Bad but then again, most animals like Bad despite him being an actual demon; not a halfling, like his son, Sapnap -who animals very much dislike for good reason. "Thought I'd bring him to work since he needs to eat every couple of hours"

Bad is in awe, adoring the kid that licks at his face when the demon picks him up.

"I'm free for an hour, can I goat-sit him for a bit?", he asks and how can Sam say no to such an innocent, puppy-eyed gaze?

"Of course, just be careful, he's a little rowdy"

Ponk reaches out to pet the kid on the head. "What's his name?"

Now that is a tough question. Doc hadn't named this one, even though he'd planned on keeping it as a pet. You know, so he can do evil villain twirls in that chair of his like every professional villain in a suit does. Instead of a cat, he wanted to have a goat, since it's on brand with the horns and that little group he's created. The G.O.A.T.

He remembers that Doc said that some young patients decided to name the goat when he had the kid in his clinic (he's lucky the cops haven't been called on him, really). Only... the name isn't that great. It's a joke, dare he say a meme.

"He doesn't have an official name", he settles on saying.

"Well, that's sad", Bad pouts. "He deserves a nice name! Like... hmm"

Sam leaves before an ''official' name is selected. It doesn't help his nerves that Ponk snickers, likely thinking of a name not better than 'Horny Guy'.

*

The kid sprints into the house the moment Sam unlocks the door, no leash or harness on him; he just follows Sam wherever it is he goes. It's the norm for the two days he's had him. The warm, bittersweet smell of gunpowder greets him almost immediately and when he enters after the small animal, he sees the source of it. The oh-great-Goatfather is sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, leisurely swiping on his phone.

"Hey"

"Hey", Doc slips his phone back into his pocket and stretches out his arms, only to hunch in on himself when the goat hops on his lap with more force than needed. Sam walks into the house with a badly hidden smile.

"Please don't tell me you walked in broad daylight in your suit"

"I did"

"You are crazy, dude", Sam sighs, already wondering what sort of lie he can make up in the event that some civilian recorded the Goatfather entering his house. Wait, he also has to make up a lie of who lives in the house, aw man, will he seriously have to move house again?

"You know, I can't keep covering you all the time", he chides the man with no real anger or frustration.

"Stealth is not my strong suit, I just build machines"

"I still wonder how you get all the money for your machines, Doc"

Doc smiles conspiratorially at him.

"Maybe it's better that way"

On the kitchen table, Sam finds a basket overflowing with tomatoes. Bright red, most of them but some have beautiful gradients of orange blooming. He spies some greens, trying and failing to hide under the ripe ones. He smiles at the kind gesture and wordlessly moves the basket to the counter to sort through later.

"But what I said stands. You can't keep walking around so carelessly; someone will see you and get suspicious", Sam sighs, "and then what? I can only save you so many times, Doc"

He hears hooves clop on the ground, a protesting bleat following and the sounds of a groaning couch. Doc is standing at the entrance to the kitchen when he looks, a smirk sitting on his face. Sam shakes his head fondly.

"And you can save me a hundred times more. We promised to have each other's backs, didn't we?", to protect each other from the opposing world, Sam recites in his head, lone creepers stick together.

"We did. Your garden is having a good time, I take it?", he asks, opening the cupboard and pulling out two green mugs with the phrase 'I hate Mondays' hand-written on them, in the most horrific writing style there is. A young Doc and a young Sam wanted to prove a point to Monday.

"The tomatoes have been enjoying the weather", Doc chuckles, taking his seat at the table. He crosses his arms, like he always does, and leans on them. "Sorry for the trouble"

Sam glances at him whilst he retrieves the ground coffee, pouring a teaspoon in a Greek coffee pot and setting it over the stove, turning that on too. "You're doing good in your own way", he comments. "The architects working on site have plans for better buildings... they'll even redo the foundations"

"Finally, we can enjoy flat roads", Doc muses, leaning back on his chair. Sam laughs.

"Yeah", he waves him off, "We'll enjoy flat roads until your next charade"

The baby goat, Sam realizes, is sitting at his feet. He coos at him before pulling the pot off the stove and pouring the hot coffee into the mugs he'd picked. They are the only mugs he keeps hidden, a treasure, he'd say they are. Doc has two in his own house and these are their mugs. No one else is allowed to drink from them.

He remembers when he'd had Techno and Dream over -the three of them are so close that they can do as they please in each other's houses- and one of them tried to get the 'I hate Mondays' mugs. Needless to say, they have never so much as looked at the green pair in the cupboard since then.

"Man, who knew I'd agree so much with my teenage self", Doc huffs a laugh as he examines the awful handwriting.

"Who knew you'd still have the same awful handwriting", Sam jokes. The other makes an offended noise, the goat mimics him.

"Well, I am a doctor"

Rolling his eyes, Sam takes his seat, opposite of the man, coffee in hand. He notices speckles of red in the brown tufts of hair and some on the curved horns.

"A doctor with redstone in his hair"

Doc seems to think of what to do about that for a second before taking a sip of his coffee.

"It's part of my charm", Sam chuckles. "Anyway, you want to have a peek at the World Eater blueprints?"

*

Tommy gets along with Martyn surprisingly well, even though the man himself is obviously having second thoughts about befriending a brash, loud, raccoon teenager. It's not like Tommy cares much about it; the faster they get over introductions and the culture shocks and whatnot, the better. He is pretty curious about the man who showed up out of nowhere with Jimmy. So curious, in fact, that he forgets about Doc and what he's done to the city.

But there's some good that has come out of the damage (putting the potential risk of earthquakes aside), he has to admit -even the heroes hold neutral viewpoints on the damage. Pearl has told them of the plans she and Gem have come up with for the destroyed part of town, and she said, Tommy quotes: "They'll be so extravagant, the rest of the city will be jealous they didn't get hit by the Goatfather". Which, from a builder's point of view is great but from a bystander's? A vigilante's, no less?

Yeah, not too sure whether the World Eater was good or bad but at least now, there will be less old houses that could fall over any second. Less potential damage to apartments and whatnot and the city, as well as the heroes, are paying to cover the damages. Not to say that the mayor has housed the people who lived in those houses in three star hotels, and will continue to house them until construction is complete. It's a surprising development but they should've seen it coming because of the Goatfather's first attack. Speaking of, will they have to wait another three years for the next one?

Ranboo had gone to check out the apartment block the clinic was housed in. They'd have called the cops if there wasn't a rental sign outside of its door. Their only lead was Stress but she'd taken a vacation break to visit her parents out of town. Honestly, none of them wanted to involve her, so they've kept quiet about it. Did she know that Doc was the Goatfather?

Tommy shakes his head at the thought. The whole ordeal has been swept under the rug, though and it's forgotten pretty quickly. Even the news have forgotten about the villain and instead focus on the construction progress. It's completely off the wall, y'know?

"So, like, does Jellie bring back dead birds?"

Tommy blinks, remembering that the gemstones in front of him aren't something to fall asleep on. Today, he's met Scar, the owner of the crystal shop Tubbo and Ranboo won't shut up about. The man with the ridiculously high top hat chuckles, deft hands working fast to weigh sacks of emeralds. They are small and an ugly green but Scar explained that he hasn't polished them yet.

"She isn't an outdoor cat, so no", he tells Tubbo, looking up from his work for only a second. "But she does catch the one stray rat that comes by. There is a hole in the backroom they keep coming in from but I've been too busy to look into repairing it"

Tommy raises an eyebrow at that. Tubbo and Ranboo may be too enthralled by the mystery shrouding the man in front of them but he isn't quite as gullible as them right now. What could make this guy so busy that he doesn't even have time to fix a hole multiple Jerries crawl out of? All he does is sort through gems and crystals and he has seen a few curved knives hidden behind the counter.

Is he a black market dealer or something? Did he piss off a bouncer? To be fair, he does have a scar on his face... or a couple, and Tommy can just make out a dark ring underneath the man's eye that is incredibly suspicious.

"Oh yeah?", Tommy urges. "What are you busy with?"

"Oh you know", Scar waves him off. Tommy narrows his eyes, incredibly suspicious. "Gotta check stock and stuff"

"Right, right", he'll investigate later.

*

Okay, hear him out, Ranboo was only a little curious about why Mumbo and Grian were moving boxes of potatoes to the fourth floor. He just wanted to see why that was the case and in general, anything Grian does is a complete mystery. Now with Mumbo in the mix? It is a double mystery!

But now he is in a little bit of a pickle. You see, he didn't get the key to the room because that would just be an awkward conversation. I mean, could you imagine? "Hey, guys, I wanted to see what you're hiding on the fourth floor because it's extremely strange to store potatoes inside a vacant house", would you ask a sus individual that? Yeah, didn't think so.

So, he teleported in. Now, he can't teleport back out. He doesn't know why and that is the main reason for his panicking. The second reason is the sheer amount of boxes mounted and piled up on every piece of covered furniture.

It is not just potatoes up here. There are weapons too, displayed on the walls of the master bedroom, spears and swords, mounted on there like prized relics. They're all glimmering similarly to the trident and sword of The Blade's, they're enchanted, and Ranboo wonders why they are here. Stored in a vacant room that is not a rental.

Ultimately, it is suspicious.

Why would you store away such peculiar specimens rather than have them in your own room? Maybe they are stolen or precious enough to be stolen. Ranboo picks up one of the weapons, an axe that is unsurprisingly heavy, and traces the head of it with a hand.

Precious netherite is what it's made out of. More valuable and more expensive than diamond and with a start, Ranboo sees that all the weapons in the room are made of the unusually warm metal. It's only a little terrifying; he's only seen The Blade with netherite and the hero doesn't carry that around all the time. Perhaps this is all stuff from an auction?

No, no, who in this world is rich enough to own all this? So, it comes down to stealing... but who could pull off such a heist?!

Putting the axe back on its display shelf, Ranboo returns to the piles of potatoes. There are also a few boxes of belongings, stuff that couldn't be put in the attic because he, Tubbo and Tommy occupy it now. He can't get out of the room without anyone on the outside and the balcony is blocked off -somehow he can't teleport out of that either and it's just wooden boards!

So, he does the next best thing: snooping.

He hovers near the boxes of potatoes for a solid minute before picking one up and carefully placing it on the ground. It's just regular potatoes, stored for whatever charity event Mumbo has them here for. He looks back up, at the closed box that the other one was on, only for one big word to prickle his nerves. In big, bold, mundane red letters is written the word 'MINES'. He peers at the one at his feet... It says 'GRENADES'.

"What the hell", and it's maybe one of the only times he'll ever say that. The faint smell of gunpowder powder and the image of a warehouse folding in half present themselves to him. It's not at all calming. "Are these-", he pauses before he can say the words.

The next box says 'GRENADES' again, though the font is smaller.

God, they've been so stupid.

He picks one of the 'grenade' potatoes up delicately, holding his breath to stop his hand from shaking. It explodes upon impact with the wall and surprisingly, it does no damage. Ranboo winces at the sound, instinctively backing up, only to realize that his ears aren't bleeding nor ringing from his proximity to the explosion. His bones are also intact which is red flag No. 2.

And something pulses. Something purple, a transparent veil, spreads from the contact point and runs along the walls like a wave in the sea, only to disappear as quickly as it appeared. It's only for a second and Ranboo blinks, silently pondering what he has really stumbled upon.

He throws another one just to make sure that he saw that and- yep. Yep, he saw that, okay. He doesn't know what to make of it but it's calling to him. It almost beckons him to touch the wall, right where it's smoking because of the Potats.

The scratchy, old fashioned wallpaper warbles under his touch in a dazzling way. Something zips and zaps in his ear but he is not sure what but purple, transparent glass shatters all around the room like he's in a sci-fi thriller. He yelps, immediately covering his head with his hands and crouching, only for the pieces that fell from the ceiling to dissipate into small, glittering, dust-like particles.

It takes him a minute to recover.

"What just happened..."

And he still can't believe it.

Then, he hears noise outside of the room. Footsteps, someone running up the stairs, maybe? With newfound hope, he rushes to the door and pounds his fist against it. Two distinct, girlish screams come from the other side; Tommy and Tubbo then.

"Guys, help!", he shouts -he'll laugh at them later, "I'm trapped in here!"

"That's where you've been for half an hour?!", he hears Tommy shout, albeit a little muffled. "Can't you TP out?"

"No!"

There is some incomprehensible arguing on the other side, probably just Tommy and Tubbo being Tommy and Tubbo. They are riffling with the lock it sounds like and Ranboo leans away from the door because he doesn't want to be hit in the face when it does open.

And sure enough, his friends slam the door open like there couldn't possibly have been a Ranboo behind it. They're so thoughtful.

"Woah", Tubbo murmurs as the two of them step into the vacant apartment. "So, they've been storing potatoes and stuff in here?"

Ranboo shakes his head, voice wavering only slightly. "Potats", he says. The two stare at him, dumbfounded. They look like they haven't caught up yet, so he sighs and points to the singed wall. "Explosive potatoes, the ones Jumbo gave us!", he exclaims in a hushed whisper.

"No way", Tommy shakes his head. "Mumbo is-"

"But he's so innocent!", Tubbo protests. Ranboo scoffs.

"Well, apparently, he isn't", he says, urging them towards the master bedroom. "There's also netherite weapons in here!"

"What the fuck", Tubbo and Tommy breath out in unison at the sight that greets them when they step into the bedroom.

And the ground shakes beneath their legs. Something falls in the living room and it takes a second for them to remember that they are in a place with tons of explosives.

The explosions come one after the other in a lime of boom boom boom, and Ranboo is certain he's getting flashbacks from the World Eater -what did Cleo call this? PTSD? He doesn't remember what the letters spell but-

"Get down, Ranboo!", Tommy grips his shirt by the collar and pulls him to the floor right as the door splinters into timbers. The smoke rises to the ceiling but the walls crack all around -and he can't teleport them out of here!

He doesn't like this, like, at all-

"Get out of the building, Pearl!"

"The kids are upstairs!"

"I'll get them, you get out!"

-and their exits are blocked off! All windows are boarded up, there is no vent to crawl out of, the front door is off-limits because there's a fire!

"Let's get to the bathroom", Tubbo tells them, already crawling on all fours towards the door. Thankfully for them, the layout is an exact copy of Stress' apartment, so they know where they're going, even if half their vision is getting blocked by black spots- Holy mother of god, they're going to pass out, aren't they?

Ranboo is the last to make it into the unaffected room and he closes the door behind him with a click. Tubbo hands Tommy a wet towel -for some reason, there are towels stacked on the toilet. It's weird for a vacant house to have something as trivial as towels inside it. Except...

He coughs, he thinks that all of them are coughing, albeit his friends are doing so in their wet towels. Ranboo curses God for making him allergic to water. Tubbo presses a dry towel into his hands, and he decides that he'll make do with the resources available.

"Tommy! Ranboo, Tubbo!"

Oh boy, he is already losing his senses, isn't he? Because he swears he just heard Grian shouting-

-and he falls over, right into someone's arms. His vision swims, he sees something purple above him. Huh. That's weird. Why is The Watcher here?

"To the front door, kids!", he swears that's Grian's voice but Tubbo and Tommy aren't reacting to it. He barely registers that he's thrown over the villain's shoulder and that the avian's black wings are protecting him. Man, he's so out of it, that he doesn't really feel his head hit the floor!

*

If you told Technoblade that his day would go like this, after having to deal with a giant machine made by a mad scientist person, he'd call you crazy! Villains also have downtime, they don't work twenty-four hours, seven days a week, they take breaks!

Now, if you told him that the villain attack would be at his house, in the middle of the day, caused by The Watcher no less... Well, that's just plain ridiculous! He saved the tenants from that hostage situation, or at least, helped resolve it! He can't seriously be attacking that exact building in daylight! It's stupid really because a) it's pretty easy to corner him in there, and b) it's just not practical, on so many levels!

For Techno and Wilbur especially because their stuff is in there! Right under the floor that's caught on fire!

Do you have any idea how many shopping trips they'll have to make to replenish any losses? Techno doesn't think his anxiety could handle all that.

And no, working as a superhero and shopping are two very different, very distinct things. Do not even compare them.

He spots Gem and Pearl in the crowd of people immediately. They are all weirdly unconcerned with the situation, save for Mumbo, who is an absolute mess, in the middle of a meltdown over something that Techno doesn't have the time for. Like, at all.

"What's happening?", he asks Gem, because the phone call he got -as Technoblade and not The Blade- only revealed so much to him.

Apparently, there is a fire on the fourth floor, quickly spreading from one apartment to the stairwell, and something is exploding if the cracks in the walls are snitchin'. From what he knows, the fourth floor and the attic are vacant, used more as storage space than anything else, really, and Techno thinks they should've called the firefighters already. Lastly, they said that The Watcher has taken the building hostage- well, they said that The Watcher is just in the building but, well- I mean, it's hard to think of any other reason for the guy to just be in there with all the fire and stuff.

Did he forget his wallet or something the last time he was there?

"The kids are trapped inside!"

He's running into the building before anyone can move. He is climbing the stairs two at a time, sword brandished at his side for some reason, like he's going to fight the flames; incredibly intelligent, truly. He shakes his head, still keeps the sword at his side and continues.

He doesn't expect to bump into Tommy and Tubbo on his way up. They smell of smoke and burnt wood, which is explainable by the black clouds coming down the stairwell, and their clothes are singed, there's holes here and there, and he thinks he sees something purple on Tubbo's face. The two are still lively but so shaken up that they stummer a few words before just giving up on that plan and instead pointing upstairs.

"You get out", he tells them, urging them to go with a wave. They are gone like the wind.

And if you told Techno that he'd find The Watcher struggling to get on his knees with Ranboo over his shoulders, he'd say you've been doing shrooms or some other illegal drug.

Yet, that is exactly what he sees, so he'd take that one back. He doesn't even know what the villain is doing in here without any sort of gas mask, seeing as he's an avian and therefore, way more sensitive to smoke and gasses than a normal human being; was this thing not organized by The Watcher? Weird.

Regardless, he is a hero. Sadly or not, he exists to help people in need. He blames Phil for the way he dives to get Ranboo out of the burning apartment. He doesn't like how the boy's head lolls to the side lifelessly, but he is breathing -if only a little slowly- and he hoists him over his shoulder. Then, he does (maybe) the unthinkable.

He grabs The Watcher by the scruff of the neck -not literally, of course, because there is the hood in the way. No hero has ever had this honor without having an avian on rabies munching on their skin like a demon from Hell. Y'know, without ending up like George had in that one encounter.

Techno somehow manages to coil his arm around the man's shoulders, helping him up and out of there. The Watcher clutches onto him with the grip of a vice -Techno can almost feel the claws- and coughs as The Blade half-drags, half-carries them down. The villain offers no resistance, happy to cough his lungs out and fist his claws into Techno's soon-to-be-torn hero attire.

There is one, relatively small issue, however.

Does he turn The Watcher in or does he let him roam about for another day? Wilbur said that they owe the guy nothing, whether it's because of powerful-supervillain pride or whatever. The thing is that Techno does feel indebted to the guy. He doesn't particularly like this feeling but it's there and he can't for the life of him ignore it.

He has pride too, damnit!

Leaning Ranboo against the broken elevator for a second -he still wonders why the elevator even exists if all it does is sit there and look pretty (Wilbur is trying to make the thing into his next musical masterpiece for some reason. That man and his odd infatuation with non-living objects; he blames Phil and his infatuation for Samsung fridges for that one too)- and adjusts the man at his side so he can hide him underneath his flowy cape.

Finally, the cape isn't as useless as he'd deemed it!

When he exits the building, people are too concentrated on getting Ranboo something to eat and drink or whatever to bother with the hero and the bird he's hiding in his hat -or cape, in this case. It's easy enough to slip away with minimal discomfort, especially with no one bugging him about whether he's inhaled too much smoke or whatever.

Most of the smoke traveled upwards, to the attic, anyway.

In the closest alley, he sits the guy against the shadiest wall he can see and awkwardly watches as the avian heaves and coughs. It's loud but the sirens of the fire truck running down the road is louder, masking them completely.

"You, uh", he begins and immediately regrets it when purple eyes land on him, teary from all the coughing and probably from all the fire. But leaving a sentence unfinished is kind of rude and Techno isn't feeling very mean today. "You good?"

It's the perfect thing to ask a man with burnt lungs. Amazing. He's got to work on his social skills still but hey, you have to ask the victim if they're okay!.. Can The Watcher even be considered a victim?

He doesn't get an answer. He should've expected this, really. And come to think of it -weird place to take this into consideration, sue him- the guy is sorta short. Not the shortest, more-so average male height. It's a weird fun fact for the trivia quizzes, he supposes.

"Out?"

His voice is so hushed and scratched and generally fucked up that Techno almost didn't catch him the first time.

"The kids?" -his answer is a cough but The Watcher's attention is unwavering- "Yeah, they're out. The firemen are here, I think I hear ambulances approaching too. They'll be fine"

The villain seems to physically relax at that, even his heaving has calmed down a bit. Techno narrows his eyes at the dude.

"Do you have a doc or somethin'?"

He is simply waved off, purple eyes flashing, a sign that he is using his abilities for whatever reason. Dream has told Techno countless times to perceive this as a resting period if he's ever fighting the guy. Now that he isn't fighting the villain, Techno doesn't know what to do.

And then The Watcher starts to fumble with the street in an attempt to stand. Techno doesn't know why but he helps the man steady himself. He expects his hands to be swatted away but the other is too out of it to possibly care.

"What happened there?", he asks, because he just remembered that there will be a whole investigation taking place like they're in CSI thanks to the villain's appearance. It takes a minute to receive a reply, and frankly, it's a useless reply.

"Fire"

Apparently, that's all he needs to know to tell the authorities when they interview him. Great.

Techno doesn't expect to be punched in the gut out of the blue -and he certainly doesn't expect said punch to be so strong to make him back off. He watches The Watcher fly off and doesn't give chase -to settle their philanthropy scores, you get it. Phil will probably track him down anyway.

*

Tommy thinks that they got too lucky. Surely, the three ambulances that have arrived on site are a blessing for the three of them exclusively. He and Tubbo are sitting in one ambulance, a mask over their mouths pumping cold oxygen in their nostrils. It's a very unpleasant experience; he is pretty confused about whether he should breathe or not if the machine is doing that for him. When he does, it feels like he's trying to breathe through the window of a speeding car, on an extremely windy day.

It's not great but the doctors say it's supposed to feel that way.

Thankfully, Ranboo is having the same treatment in another ambulance; that boy got the worst of it with his water allergies; he's probably broken the world record of most smoke inhaled in one minute! He looks out of the open back doors of the vehicle towards the entrance of the block-of–flats to see if The Watcher has been dragged out or not. No one saw The Blade drag a half-conscious avian dude out of the building and that worries him.

It worries him and Tubbo both but they don't talk about it. The guy probably got out of there with his abilities and everyone was just too occupied with checking on them to notice him leaving.

Wait a minute.

He remembers when Grian told them that avians can die from breathing in just a smidge of smoke like actual birds... Is The Watcher going to die? Is he still in the building? Is he outside? Has he already flown away? But he was on his hands and knees at the door, Ranboo right on top of him... Maybe The Blade dealt with him? Is he already dead?

Tommy groans and his nails must be glad for the mask on his mouth because he'd have eaten them whole otherwise.

"How are they?", he hears distantly, outside of the ambulance and over the blaring sirens of the firetrack. He thinks it's Pearl or Gem. The doctors say something to them that neither of the two can make out but he thinks he hears the word 'hospitalized'. They're going to the hospital!

Mumbo climbs into the back, with the most worried and sorry face they've ever seen on him.

"I'm glad you're okay, all three of you"

They both narrow their eyes at him. Tommy does the eye-to-eye gesture with his fingers and Tubbo does the we'll-talk-about-this-later by waving a finger between them, the most accusing glare on him. Mumbo K. Jumbo has never looked so afraid in the time frame that they've known him.

Good, Tommy thinks. Fucker deserves it.

*

Phil is only a little curious when he sees The Watcher fly away from a burning building. Look, he wasn't planning on doing much hero-ing on his day off but one can not simply dismiss such an opportunity. Techno called him earlier too, though frantic, he did catch a few bits about a burning building and a certain bird-fucker being the cause of it.

The Watcher's fault is that he isn't going fast enough. Or that he isn't very aware of his surroundings. The Crowfather decides to get a little payback.

He slams into the villain, feet first, with a cry of "Revenge!", and the other yelps. Well, it's more of a high-toned chirp, really, but it carries the same severity to the villain's image. Ha. Take that, little shit-

He does not expect The Watcher to go on a full coughing spree, and he most certainly does not expect black puffs of cloud to come out of his nose. What the fuck. Was he inside the burning building? What was he doing in there? But the villain claws and kicks at him regardless.

Phil backs off only slightly, crowding the man on the ground enough so that he can't get up and fly away. The Watcher looks at him with purple eyes and wings splayed lazily -or tiredly?- to his sides, faint violet specks sparkling on the feathers. It reminds Phil of End's teleportation particles.

Hmmm. Maybe the two of them are close? The only time particle similarity has been observed has been between family members... But the villain he's fighting isn't an enderborn, he's an avian with the most powerful abilities he's seen in this country.

The particles must be a coincidence, or something else entirely. Phil will poke his nose in the books of the private hybrid labs later; he could find a lead there (despite the fact that he's read every book about ten times each and still hasn't found any sort of lead to- well, anything regarding The Watcher).

"Jesus, mate, how much smoke did you inhale?", he asks, kicking the man idly in the foot.

With a final cough, The Watcher blinks. "A lot"

"Evidently", Phil mutters. "You're going to die"

The man before him seems to smirk; he can't see his lips but his eyes crinkle. Those... unnerving, unblinking eyes. Phil hates their glow.

"I'm not"

"Avians can't handle smoke, Watcher"

"I suppose you'd know...", the villain off-handedly comments. "Phil"

Phil's eyes burst wide and at the same time The Watcher bursts into howling laughter, throwing his head back and letting himself be heard by the world. He grits his teeth, alarm bells going off already.

"How do you- How did you know?!", he is on top of the weakened man, grabbing him by the edges of his dark cloak and bringing them face to face. "How do you know my name? My family? How?!"

All he receives is a giggle, half-delirious with a tinge of smoke and he swears it sounds familiar in spite of its raggedness.

"You'll find out soon, Phil"

And Phil laughs because he will. The Watcher is pliant in his arms, fully letting his weight be manhandled by him. It's so easy to rip away the hood and the scarf and see who the guy who has been torturing this town is, finally. After so many years...

"You're right", he smiles at him, baring teeth instead of his usual kindness. To his credit, The Watcher's expression doesn't change. There is no fear in these purple eyes; it's almost like he wants his identity to be revealed to a hero.

He lets go of the man, letting him fall back onto the roof's concrete surface with an 'oof' before reaching out for the hood. It's not a surprise when dirty blond tufts of hair ruffle out of it but it is a surprise when a hand grips his wrist, and it's so strong that Phil winces. He's going to break it, he thinks but the intention is, apparently, just short of that.

"Just, not today"

Before Phil can question what that means, he is fuckin' dropkicked again -just not by The Watcher this time. He rolls almost to the edge of the roof (which isn't that far from where they landed) and when he looks up, he sees- he thinks he's a little drunk because there are two of that new Bat guy.

"That is not my name!", oh, he spoke out loud. Well, I don't regret that one. The villains laugh but for some reason, it doesn't feel like it's at Phil's expense. Huh. "I'm a Listener, thank you very much!"

"Yeah, anyway, sorry about the inconvenience", the other Bat- Listener? says once he's finished laughing at his accomplice, "But we've got a wedding to attend and this guy isn't dressed for the occasion"

Phil stands on his feet, kicking his legs out to feel for any bruising -there is none. The Watcher is leaning against the shortest of the Listener duo when he looks at the three again. He is outnumbered but maybe he could take all three- I mean, the one is pretty much out of action.

"Bye, Crowfather!", the tallest of the duo waves at him, not quite looking at him. He notices for a second that The Listener's- no, not just the one but both of them have milky white eyes. They're fucking blind?!

"See you some other day! Would say I'm sorry for kicking you but I'm not!"

The three jump off the other side of the roof with a 'weeeee!', like they're five year olds -maybe they are, who knows- and Phil rushes to go after them. A bright as fuck light blinds him momentarily and they are gone like the wind.

Phil wonders which churches have been booked for a wedding. He wonders how long it will take to go to each one.

And then he bangs his head against his hand.

Villains going to a wedding, yeah, as if.

*

The villains do go to a wedding, that night, actually.

No one in the crowd of family and friends notice, though.