The next morning, Zhan left for work extra early so that he could talk to Yibo about his conversation with Cheng before starting work. Of course, he didn't plan to mention what Cheng said about their feelings either. He would definitely keep that to himself.

Then, when Zhan finished explaining, Yibo looked at him thoughtfully for a moment and said, "I know my father wanted to talk to me and about what. He wrote me a letter just before he died. And in it he wrote me that he forgave me for being gay. Sorry, but it's not like I ever asked him for forgiveness. After all, I didn't choose to fall in love with a man."

"He really wrote it that way?"

"Yes. He wrote, Yibo I forgive you for being gay. I just didn't know where this suddenly came from. I didn't expect that my brother had told our father about himself and Cheng."

"And what do you say to the fact that Hai Kuan said he never wanted to hurt you and believed your father would be happy for you?"

"I do believe him. It's true that our parents always presented themselves as modern and open-minded people. Especially when they talked to others, they always pretended to be so open. But in truth, it had been quite different. But either way, I can't forgive my family."

"I see. Well, anyway, now you know it, and yes, I admit it was my fault. Because I should have listened to you back then when you told me to leave the pictures at home. I am very sorry. Especially because of the consequences you had to endure."

"I'm not angry with you for that, Zhan. I know how much it meant to you then, to always have our pictures with you. And neither of us could have guessed what would happen. I never blamed you for it. I just wanted you to know what happened then."

"Yibo, when you say it like that, it makes me feel even worse."

"I never was trying to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know the whole story and I wanted you to know that I would have never willingly broken up with you. God I ran after you like an idiot for a year begging for a date. And believe me, the last thing on my mind was breaking up with you after a year of being in a relationship."

"Okay. Still, I feel guilty and you can't stop that. But I should get back to my desk now. After all, I just wanted to tell you what Cheng told me."

"Zhan?"

"Mhm?"

"If that hadn't happened back then, would you still be with me?"

"I can't impossibly answer that question for you. Because none of us know what else might have happened. So don't be mad at me if I can't give you the answer to that question."

"Mhhh, Okay." Replied Yibo. Zhan nodded and then left the office.

During his breakfast break, Zhan went to the small cafe across the street from his work and ordered some grilled toast with cheese and ham and a latte. He thoughtfully watched the entrance area where he saw Yibo and his wife just coming out. The two looked like they were already discussing again.

Zhan wished he had the courage to ask Yibo if he had married his wife out of love. Because to him, it didn't look like it. The two have been married for two years and seem to argue a lot. On top of that, there is the child, which is not Yibo's, and the affair she is having. He felt very sorry for Yibo.

More and more, Zhan told himself that if he had listened to Yibo back then, Yibo's life would have been different. Maybe they would still be together, but maybe Yibo would have found someone else and would now have a loving marriage.

Just seeing the two of them discussing was enough for him, he didn't need to hear what they were arguing about. He was just sorry. He felt sorry for Yibo.

Just as Zhan was about to surrender to his guilty conscience and bathe in a little self-pity, he got a message. It was from one of the two publishing houses where Zhan was applying. They asked him to meet them in person. Zhan read the message three times and still couldn't believe it. So he called the number and there he was confirmed that the management wanted to meet him.

Zhan made an appointment for December 13, the day after the Christmas party. He was already told on the phone that an editor position would be available starting in January and that management was very interested in him. Zhan would have liked to cheer with joy, but then he looked back at Yibo and his wife, who seemed to continue discussing, before they went back into the building.

Back in the office, Zhan would have liked to tell Yu Bin about his news, but he decided to keep it to himself for now, since everyone in the office had been tense since Yibo and his wife went into his office. Each of Zhan's colleagues seemed to be very careful not to make a sound. They all listened tensely to the office and everyone hoped it would not get out of hand again.

After more than an hour, Yibo's wife came stomping out of the office in a huff. She measured everyone with a snide and mean look before leaving the office. He Peng immediately rushed to Yibo's office to make sure he was okay. Zhan tried to stay calm and focus on his work.

When He Peng returned, he sent Zhan to Yibo's office. Zhan was already afraid that Yibo was injured again. But Yibo just wanted to talk to him about work and give him his paycheck. "I had a talk with my supervisor earlier. He said I should send you back to the field. He wants you to be in the field starting next week, Monday - Friday visiting businesses."

"Mhhh, Okay."

"Please don't think I'm okay with that."

"No it's fine."

"You would be in the field from 08:00 am to 02:00 pm every day and then work here in the office until 5 pm."

"Okay."

"I hope you're not mad at me about that now."

"No, like I said, it's okay. I'll do what I'm told."

"Zhan, I'm still going to talk to him again."

"You don't have to. I'll be fine. At least I don't have to work on Saturdays."

"Sorry."

"Don't be Yibo. If there's nothing else to talk about, I'll go back to my desk."

"Mhm do that Zhan."

As Zhan sat back at his desk, he thought about the reason why he remained so calm and accepted it immediately. He couldn't think of an answer, though, so he called Cheng at lunch and talked to him about it. "I think you're afraid that you might get close again. Especially now that you have the chance of getting a new job. It would just be harder for you to hand in your resignation after you get closer to Yibo again. And subconsciously, you're afraid of hurting Yibo again."

"You really think so? I can't imagine that."

"I think it is. You feel guilty and blame yourself for Yibo now having this life. You think if it wasn't for you, this never would have happened to him."

"How do you know?"

"Hey, I study this shit. Besides, I know you well enough to know how you think."

"Since this morning when I talked to Yibo, I feel like it's better to avoid him. Yes I have a guilty conscience. But what should I do about it?"

"There's nothing else you can do about that right now. You can't just turn it off. I can only advise you, if it's bothering you so much, talk to Yibo about it."

"I can't. I experienced it this morning. He said he was never angry with me and is even understanding. That just makes it even worse for me."

"Do you know why you feel so strongly about it Zhan? Have you thought about what I said yesterday?"

"You're not going to tell me again that it's because of my feelings for Yibo, are you?"

"Yes, it is, just like that. You're not ready to admit that yet, but you will."

"Enough of that now. I don't want to think about it any further now. I have to get right back to work. Fortunately, I have tomorrow off. That means a long weekend for me."

"If you're off tomorrow, relax a little. Or fly to Shanghai to see Lana and her parents."

"Mhhh, would be an idea too. I could fly there after work today. And I'm sure my in-laws would love it."

"Exactly. Then you can clear your head again. After all, something's been happening at work every day since last week."

"Yeah, I guess so. All right, I have to finish now. I'll contact you again later." Said Zhan, ending the conversation as He Peng returned to the office.

"Didn't you have lunch today?" Asked He Peng.

Zhan shook his head. "No, I was still full from breakfast."

"You should still have a snack. It's not good if you skip meals."

"Funny, I've been hearing that a lot the last few days."

"Well, it's the truth."

"Yeah good, Okay, you're right He Peng." Replied Zhan. Sometimes Zhan found that He Peng could be nice too. But only when he wanted to. Because most of the time he didn't let on that he had a good side in him too.

Zhan had already started working again when Yibo's wife came into the office and glared at Zhan. He felt a chill run down his spine at the sight of her. There was something eerie about her, he thought.

Yibo's wife knocked on Yibo's office door like a madwoman, ignoring He Peng who tried to make her understand that Yibo is not back in the office yet. And because she didn't respond to He Peng, Zhan and He Peng went to see her and noticed that she was drunk again.

He Peng got really angry when he saw how violently she banged on the door. He said, "I said Mr. Wang is not back in the office yet!"

Yibo's wife turned to the two and grunted. "What do you want from me?" She asked, slurring her words.

"Again, Mr. Wang is not in the office." Repeated He Peng.

"And where is that asshole now? I need his car and he needs to give me his car keys." She replied. Then she looked at Zhan and jabbed her finger against his shoulder several times. "I can't stand you. You're messing everything up. Why don't you just quit and leave Yibo alone?"

"I didn't do anything. You're drunk and should take a cab home." Said Zhan as calmly as he could before simply turning and walking back to his desk.

Zhan had always had an aversion to drunk women. Especially when they were as aggressive as Yibo's wife.

When Yibo came into the office and saw his wife, he grabbed her and dragged her out of the office. Zhan and He Peng just looked at each other shaking their heads. Zhan concentrated on his work again and tried not to think about what kind of woman Yibo's wife was anyway. That would probably just give him a headache anyway.