21st of August, 2027

It was the next day, we were up bright and early because it wouldn't be as warm out, which meant that my nausea wouldn't be as bad. Someway I had recognized the heat as a main factor to my sickness, which meant that we had our portable AC working far too hard in our bedroom at night. However, it would still be bad. Though, I did feel a little better, and it was probably because Dom had made me drink and eat some food yesterday. It was around 6:30, which was bright and early for a weekend, when we walked out the door of our apartment. I hadn't eaten breakfast yet, afraid it might make me sick, and I really wanted to do this for Dom. I took a deep breath. Dom was holding my hand tightly. But, just as we stepped out the door, Dom let go of it and walked back inside.
"Just wait a second", he announced, and just seconds later he came back with his camera hanging over his shoulder. I cracked a smile. "Now we can go", he said, and locked the door behind him so I wouldn't have to worry about that as well. Anxiously, I took his hand and we walked down the stairs. I leaned on him in every possible way as we made our way, and I knew he leaned on me too.

The cemetery looked peaceful this early in the morning. The city hadn't quite woken up yet, and you could hear birds chirping from one of the trees overlooking the gravestones. We were making our way across the path that we'd got to know by heart since we'd first stepped on it. Dom was holding my hand tightly. In his other hand, he was holding white lilies that we'd bought from a local flower shop that had barely opened up as we'd passed its entrance. The woman outside the shop was probably just cleaning the windows, and I knew they didn't open for another hour — which, still, was very early for a shop, but I figured they delivered flowers for events on weekends, and so we took our shot. The woman who sold them had spoken in broken English in a dialect that I still could not place, and she had instantly smiled when she'd seen us come around the corner. She greeted us with an oh, I haven't seen you in a while and said of course when we'd asked for lilies, and excusing our early arrival. Then she'd continued to say, as she handed them over beautifully wrapped in brown paper, that lilies are the most precious flower. Yet not many people buy them. But I love them. And you do as well? Dom had smiled, and said thank you, I love them too. They were my sister's favourite. He'd tried to hide it, but a wave of sadness had crushed over him as he'd said that. I squeezed his hand.

Now, we were standing in front of her grave. It was simple. She'd designed it herself, and there were no ornaments or frills. Just her name and the important dates. I remember how'd she'd joked about having a cheesy quote on it, which her mother Agnès had instantly vetoed and her father had just laughed wholeheartedly with her and tried to make her do it. Dom hadn't really done anything, he'd just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, saying that I just want it to be you. And it was. I turned my head to Dom. His eyes were watery now, but he was holding the tears in.
"Hi Flo", he managed to say. "It's August now", he said, as he let his eyes wander around the graveyard and tried to take in the surroundings.
"We brought your flowers. Lilies", he added, and let go of my hand as he kneeled down, took off the brown paper and placed them in front of her stone. He took a deep breath. "I think we've had a bouquet of lilies in our living room every day since you left", and with that he chuckled a little. He sat down on the patch of grass in front of her grave, and let the tote bag on his shoulder as well as his camera come to the ground. I took a seat next to him. The grass was still a little wet from the night's rain, but neither of us cared.
"Yeah. We've got a new bouquet every week", I cut in, smiling even though the sadness hung over me like a cloud. "We've become friends with the woman who sells them"
Dom cracked a laugh. I smiled.
"I miss you, little sis", he quietly said. "And I've missed you so much in these last couple of weeks, because there's something I would've wanted you to be the first one to know about. Even if you were terrible when it came to keeping a secret", he continued to say, smiling at the memory of her, as he reached for the sonogram picture in the tote bag we'd brought.
He seemed to think about it for just a second before he said the words.
"Flo, you're gonna be an aunt next year. In February or March", and as he said that, he was smiling even brighter, but at the same time his eyes were watery and welled up. He held the picture in his hands, as if he was showing her it.
I could feel my eyes well up too, as I smiled from ear to ear. It was just something about it that felt so raw, so real.
"It wasn't exactly planned", I earnestly said, as I squeezed Dom's hand. "But it feels right. And we know you'd be delighted, and a little worried, like your brother here, but mostly you would be a ball of joy. And I think you'd ask your brother to worry less"
Dom looked at me, relieved and thankful.
"Which is why I'm going to tell them all about auntie Florence, and how you were the most fearless, joyous and caring person to walk the earth", I continued to say, because I had already promised that to myself. It wasn't even a question if I would, it was clear.
In the corner of my eye, I could see tears starting to roll down Dom's face, as he squeezed my hand in a way to say thank you.
"Auntie Flo, huh? You didn't really see that coming, did you?", Dom said, cracking a laugh. He put the sonogram picture down on the ground in front of us. "Well, you probably did. You always had a hunch. But now you know", he added, smiling brightly. I leaned my head onto his shoulder, as I felt the nausea up to my ears.
"Now you know", I quietly repeated, smiling too. Dom put his arm around my shoulders.
"Are you okay?", he asked me in a worrisome way.
"Just nauseous", I replied, taking a deep breath.
"We can go, darling", he quickly told me. I shook my head.
"No, no. I want to be here. We'll stay here as long as you need to. I'll be fine", and with that he stroked my shoulder and pulled me closer.
"Okay", he whispered to me, accepting my decision in a caring matter. "Okay"

After sitting quietly and listening to the eerie sound of the cemetery, as well as our own heartbeats and breaths, we could hear how the world around us was suddenly waking up. The nausea was still up to my ears, and after a long time of stillness and quiet I could feel my mind starting to work itself up, as routines started popping up.
"I think I'm ready to go home now", Dom quietly said, turning his head to me.
I nodded in reply.
"I was thinking-", Dom began to say, as he reached for his camera. "Or maybe not", he said, as if he regretted even thinking the thought.
"Dom, you can take a picture. You want to remember this", I told him, looking him straight in the eye, as I had started to tap a little harder on my leg, which I had done since I woke up this morning.
He met my eyes with such shame and pain.

We both knew the last pictures he'd really taken were during her funeral.
And the pictures before that was the day when she'd died.
She'd actively told him to take that one, despite having no strength left in her body.
But I knew she looked happy in that picture.
Because she had, all in all, lived a happy life.

"She'd want you to take it", I told him, putting my hand on his hand, trying to find his eyes and give him some peace. He took a deep breath, and nodded ever so slightly.
He took his camera off the ground, started it and began to manually adjust the settings. I could see that it was fully charged, and I realized that he must have charged the battery last night. Because of this very picture.
I looked at the sonogram picture.
The little blob was just noticeable.
But it was there. Dom stood up and walked a few steps back.
He adjusted the settings a little more.
And then I heard the clicking sound go off.
"Rue?", he asked my name.
"Yeah?", I asked him, as I turned my head back, and looked at him. He took a picture. It made me smile and laugh a little, a little surprised, but also relieved to see him taking pictures again. It was a habit that I had once been so used to, and now it was new again but also known. Like it was the way it was supposed to be.
He smiled back at me, and walked up to me again, holding out his hand.
"Come on, I'll help you up", he said, and pulled me up. Standing, I started to bend over to take the tote bag, even though the nausea was growing inside of me. He was quicker than me. "No, I'll take that", he said, and easily took it. "Do you need anything? I've got some water and crackers?"
I shook my head. In all honesty, everything I could think of seemed disgusting.
"No, thanks. I just really wanna get home", I earnestly told him, fighting off the urge to tell him to worry less, because I knew he wouldn't. He leaned his head to the side, his eyes digging into mine.
"Yeah, darling. We'll go home", he said, taking my hand and leading the way.

Just a couple of blocks away from our building, we walked past as our local grocery shop opened its doors. I stopped for a mere second, and pondered as to whether I should go inside or not. The nausea was almost unbearable at this point, and I had begun walking much slower in the last few minutes. I wasn't sure how to go on without throwing up. Somehow I still wanted to go in there. Just to see.
"Um, Dom, could we go and see what they have?", I asked Dom, who had also stopped when he noticed I had. "I- I really want an apple. I think"
"Yeah, of course", he replied without a doubt, as he held my hand and lead the way through the entryway. Dom kindly greeted the woman behind the cashier, as I dragged him towards the fruit and vegetables section in a slight panic.
"Here they have-", Dom began to say, but I cut him off.
"But they're red. I want a green one", I defeatedly said, my voice heartbroken as I looked at the stand in front of me. The red apples somehow seemed disgusting to me, whereas the green apples was the only thing I felt I could eat at that moment as I felt the puke right in my throat.
I started blinking faster and faster, trying to distract my body from the horrid feeling as I beat myself up from not being able to handle it.
"Excuse me, do you have green apples?", Dom said, stopping an older man carrying boxes from the back.
"Granny smith apples", I said in clarification, sounding weak, as my eyes were all watery. I needed that apple to function. To not throw up. To be able to go on.
"We should, let me go check in the back. We just got a delivery this morning, so we haven't got everything on the shelves yet-", the man said, putting down the boxes and turning around to check the inventory for us.

A light of hope lit within me.

He was probably back in just a minute, but somehow it felt like hours as I felt sicker and sicker by the second. I could feel Dom's eyes watching me worriedly, and while I squeezed his hand tightly as if I was physically holding onto him.
"Here we go", he said, as he brought out a box and put it down amongst the other apples. My hope grew. "I'll help you out. How many do you want?", he continued, as he took a plastic bag.
"Just one", I said, but as I said it Dom instantly cut me off.
"We'll get ten", he said, fully serious. The man laughed.
"Alright. Eleven then", he joked, and put ten apples in the plastic bag, and handed one to me. "You can rinse it by the cashier"
"Thanks", I managed to get out, as I tightly held the apple and the plastic bag as we walked to the cashier, where the woman kindly rinsed my apple as I watched. Dom paid and quickly chatted with the man and the woman who seemingly owned the shop. We hurried out of the shop, and Dom brought me to the shade. I still hadn't had a bite.
"Hey, what is it?", he asked me, trying to understand.
"I just feel really sick", I forced out, sounding helpless. "And I really feel like an apple might help but I'm also scared I'll throw up", I desperately explained, as I stared down the apple in my hand, holding it in a tight grip.
"I'm sorry, Ruthers, but I think there's only one way to find out", he said, trying to sound positive. I knew he was right. I closed my eyes, and brought the apple to my mouth and took a bite. I carefully chewed for a couple of seconds before swallowing. Then, I waited for a couple of seconds. About a minute even. Completely silent. Just to see if it made it worse. Yet, instead, it somehow lowered the nausea and I longed for another bite. I held the apple tight in my hand, as I kept my eyes on it.
"Conviction?", Dom carefully asked me, his tone kind and reassuring.
"Less nauseous", I said, a while after thinking it through and coming to my senses. I heard him smile, as he cracked a quick laugh.
"That's good", he said, sounding happy as he saueezed my other hand. "That's good", he repeated, a little quieter, knowing I needed some help understanding that it was good. I nodded, slowly.
I started walking, wanting to get home as soon as possible. Dom tagged along.
Then, I took another bite. And then another. Carefully, I managed to finish the entire apple in a couple of minutes. Weirdly, the sickness wasn't actually properly gone, it was there, but I almost didn't notice it.
As we passed a bin I threw away the core that was left.
"I'm glad we bought a whole bag", Dom jokingly pointed out, but I knew he was serious.
"I guess", I replied, feeling relieved that the sudden urge for an apple had helped.

Somehow I had believed I wouldn't be able to eat anything without feeling sick, and it had become my truth. But now I could eat again. Or maybe I was just fine for now and would throw it all up as soon as we got home.

My eyes welled up with tears. Dom glanced at me.
"Ruthers-", he said, trying to get my attention. He sounded confused and worried. I defensively shook my head, and dried the little tears with my free hand. "Is it bad again? The nausea?", he stopped, and I shook my head, feeling slightly ashamed by my unpredictability.
"No- but what if I'll get sick later? What if I'm just fine now?", I asked, as I began to blink over and over. "I feel fine, better than I have in days, even weeks, but- but what if it's all a one time thing? I mean I feel like I can eat again and I thought I wouldn't be able to without throwing up, but maybe it won't last, maybe I'll throw up the second I'll come home and I'll never be able to eat anything again until March without being sick an- and... I thought I was doing really well with food but now I don't know anymore, it's like it's all ripped to pieces-", he let me ramble on and get the thoughts out of my system before he cut in.
"Hey, hey-", he quietly said, stopping my hastily walking. I turned around to meet his deeply brown eyes watching me kindly, trying to understand. "I know you might think that, but please listen for a sec. What are you afraid will happen when you eat food now?", he asked me, and highered his eyebrows in wonder.
"That I'll throw up", I answered, sounding helpless. He nodded.
"And, before that, why were you afraid of eating sometimes?", he asked, trying to clarify something for me. I thought for a second, slowly realizing where he was coming from.
"That something bad would happen. If I ate. Which meant I wasn't allowed to", I formed the words slowly.
"It's two different things, you see?", he pointed out, raising his left eyebrow. I nodded.
"Yeah", I agreed with him. "It is", I quietly stated.
"So-", he began to say, as he turned his face the other way to look at our street. "So, when we go through that door to our building, walk up the stairs, we'll just sit down on the sofa, and you can wait a little longer, and then maybe have another apple?", he tentatively asked me, gesturing towards our door, and as he turned back his eyes searched for mine. I met them. I had wiped my tears now, but I still felt emotional. "Just to see. Just to see if it might help another time with the nausea"
I nodded, hesitantly.
"Yeah", I answered his humble questions, and let a smile seep through my lips. He smiled back. He took my hand, and began to walk, but I didn't move out of my spot. "Wait, Dominic, I-"
He instantly turned around, his eyes optimistic and kind, but worried.
"Yeah, Ruth?"
"I love you", the words slipped out of my mouth so easily. His face melted. "I feel like I haven't said that to you a lot lately", to which he just shook his head.
"We don't have to say it a lot to know it", he pointed out, and let his arms surround me. I leaned my head onto his chest. "I love you too"

—————
Well hello again for the second day in a row!☀️
This chapter is a cute and kind one, one which I thoroughly enjoyed writing. I tried to show how Rue and Dom's relationship has changed over the years, and how Rue's come to a place where she knows Dom leans on her as much as she leans on him.💛

I had my final presentation today, which means I am officially done with my second year of uni. That sentence alone is crazy, as it feels like I just moved away from home and began studying. Although, I am so looking forward to just work and not worry about school during the summer. I've got so much that I want to do, but I'm also looking forward to just have time off and do nothing. Probably why I've realised that spring and summer are my favourite seasons. Everything just comes to life again, and then it feels like the world just stops during the summer and everyone just seems to have the time of their lives.🌻

Q of the Day: What are you looking forward to during the summer?🌿
Me? Coming back to my home town and just be🙈

With that said I hope you liked the chapter, and if you did — please leave a vote, and maybe a comment too. It truly is so appreciated by me, and makes my writing feel like it actually reaches someone, somewhere. 🪻

Have the loveliest day,
Sincerely,
H

Published: 21st of May, 2024