[A/N: A fun and sort of sad little chapter coming your way. Enjoy!🎈
And this is very cheesy but here's a song I thought about when I was writing this chapter:
Everybody's changing - Keane]

The audience was absolutely quiet. If you listened closely, you could hear a pin drop in the theater. Vanessa was holding Sebastian on her right arm and she had her left arm around my shoulders, as I was leaning onto her while we were watching the show from the wings.
She was wearing the most beautiful white cocktail dress, and she had dressed Sebastian in a white shirt to match the occasion.
Amanda had surprised me this afternoon by giving me a maroon coloured dress, just for this night. Or, for the many nights to come, as she had put it. It was slightly textured, having a tulle base layer and then a dotted tulle on top of it.
Most of all, it had long sleeves.
And here I was, wearing it.
For my last time in this theater for a long time to come.

It was Lin's final show.
Lin's final minutes before he said goodbye to Hamilton.

For most of the show, we had been sitting in one of the more private seats together with Lin's parents as well as Vanessa's. But, as the last few songs had started, Vanessa had taken a look at me while she had tapped on my shoulder.
"Let's go backstage and watch from the wings", she had suggested. I had taken her hand, and followed her through the small corridors.

And now, I was standing here, next to her.
I was holding my breath, and so was Vanessa. Sebastian was sound asleep, not bothered by the light or sounds from the stage.

I think everyone was holding their breaths, that everyone was somehow extra affected by the words of It's quiet uptown.

And it wasn't just Lin's last show.
It was Leslie's, Ariana's and Pippa's too.

From this moment on, everything was changing.

And everyone wanted to savour every moment.
To take it all in.
And let those moments just last a little longer.

I looked up at Vanessa.
Her eyes were slightly watery, as she smiled looking onto the stage from the side of the wings that we were standing on.

Everything really was changing.
This was the end of an era.

As Lin went off the stage after getting shot, you could see that he had gotten emotional. He instantly noticed us, his face melting with happiness due to the moment of surprise. He wiped a tear as he ran up to us, hugging us quickly.
"Hi", he said, sounding sentimental, only to look out on the stage again as Aaron finished his very last The World Was Wide Enough Pippa performed Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story for her very last time.

She didn't choke on the words, she did, however, sound teary. She was, indeed, giving it her all. I don't think a single cheek was dry in the Richard Roger's Theater during this very moment.

Soon, we were nearing Lin's cue to rejoin the stage. Lin was ready, but he hold onto us for as long as he could.
"Get back out there", Vanessa said, giving Lin a nudge in the side with her elbow and pushing him slightly forward. "Go do your thing", she continued to say, and nodded towards him. He nodded back at us, swallowing his tears and smiling.
"Love you", he mouthed at the three of us, scared that his mic would be on, and we both mouthed it back.
"Love you", the words formed before I had even thought it through. I didn't even hesitate. Maybe it was because I really did feel that way.

He ran back onto his spot, ready to go back as Alexander to meet Eliza again as she died.

They looked at each other, their faces filled with love and pride just as much as they were filled with sadness and thankfulness.

As if to say, this is the last time. Let's make it count.

"Who lives, who dies, who tells your story...", the ensemble sang perfectly, though everyone was feeling sentimental. From where I was standing, I could see Thayne wiping a tear from his cheek.

Pippa's gasp sent shivers down my spine.

The lights went out and the theater went black.

It was over.

Everyone was standing up, clapping, giving all their love to this moment. The room was filled with such joy and praise, but you could feel the emotions being all over the place.

Now it really was goodbye.

The stage lit up again.
Lin was weeping, but just so you could see it up close.

The whole cast took a bow.

Then, Leslie, Pippa, Lin and Ariana took each other's hands and bowed together. Ariana hugged Lin. They smiled at each other, as she wiped the tears off of her cheeks.
Lin looked at her, and squeezed her tight, as if to say I know you're going places. Good luck.

The audience just clapped, and clapped, and clapped. It didn't seem to have an end.

When they backed down, Lin backed into Cristopher as the orchestra began to play the theme to West Wing, which made Lin laugh of joy as he joined Pippa and Leslie in an embrace before taking a bow. I could see Alex laugh of joy as he was looking up from the orchestra pit. Lin squinted his eyes together, taking his hands to his heart, just saying a pure thank you with his entire body language. He was weeping, and everyone could see that now.

Christopher hugged him and then pushed him forwards, giving him a slight nudge to take a bow on his own.

I watched him as he took a moment to take it all in, hand to heart, looking out over the audience.

You could almost see that he felt finished. He was proud of himself and everyone there with him. That he had done all this, and now it was time to move on. As if he was hearing his own lyrics in his head, teach them how to say goodbye.

He put his hand up and gestured to the orchestra to move on, as he backed down and the final theme of the night began. He put his arm around Pippa, and kissed her on the cheek as they walked off the stage together.
"We did it", he said, as they let go of each other.
"We did it", Pippa said, as she gave him a final hug before she quickly ran away to her dressing room, to see her family and fiancé, Steve.

Lin stopped for a second and looked at us, awestruck.
"Harder than you thought?", Vanessa asked him, smiling to the side, her eyes sentimental.
"Just as hard as I thought it would be", he said, his voice clear, even though there was a shakiness there. He was done.

He wasn't happy nor sad about it, but he was satisfied. He had done it.
And that was enough.
Because now he could move on to other things.

"Just like I thought you'd say", Vanessa remarked. Lin's gaze stopped at me, as he all of a sudden noticed how hard I was taking it. Vanessa turned to me, too, realising that I had stopped leaning onto her and that her arm wasn't around my shoulders.

I hadn't even noticed it myself, but I had suddenly started to cry and taken a step back.
The emotions had fallen over me, maybe not out of the blue, but quick enough for me to not be able to stop them.

I quickly wiped my tears, not wanting to cry.
I would've never shown how I felt a year ago.
But here I was, crying.

"Hey...", he said, walking over, letting his arms wrap around. "What's up?"
It took a second for me to reply, because I didn't even really know myself.
"Everything's changing", I stuttered, quietly telling the truth as I wept.
"Hey, I know, I know-", he said, only to let go a little to let us stand face to face. "But that's a good thing", he continued, his smile small but noticeable.
I smiled to the side, and looked at him with teary eyes, as I nodded.

Though, the tears kept coming.
I couldn't decide whether they were happy or sad.
In hindsight, it was a result of all things building up to this very moment when I would know that the change would be just around the corner.

"You're gonna be just fine, okay?", he told me, his face melting as he watched me weep.
"Yeah", I managed to get out in between the tears.
He put his arms around me and squeezed me tightly to make me feel safe, as he kissed the top of my head.
He met my gaze again, letting our eyes meet.
"Let's go chop this mop off, alright?", he suggested, raising his left eyebrow as he gestured towards his hair.
Vanessa laughed, and so did I, though it was a mix of sad tears and a happy smile as I nodded.
"Alright"

We walked to his and Jon's changing room, where we were met with cheers from a mixture of family, cast members, friends and celebrities. Lin quickly went a away for a few minutes and changed into 2016 appropriate clothes, and started pouring glasses of champagne to everyone as the small room was slowly getting filled to the brim. Sebastian had now woken up, and was feeling very happy with the situation, as everyone wanted to chat and be with him. He was being passed from person to person, and eventually ended up in Lin's arms.
"Cheers, Seb!", Lin exclaimed, raising his glass up in the air.
"Cheers!", Sebastian managed to say as well as a one and a half year old could, and giggled happily as he clapped his hands when the rest of the people repeated after him.
"Cheers!"

Soon, Charles, the hair and wig stylist at the show, popped his head inside the room, holding scissors and a shaver in his hands, looking suggestively at Lin.
"You ready?", he asked Lin.
"Ready as I'll ever be", Lin replied, taking a seat before the mirror, next to where Vanessa was sitting. Charles put Lin's hair into three separate ponytails.
"Anyone want to make the first cut?", Charles asked the room of people, which had now gotten quite filled up. I was sitting on my spot on the small green sofa, trying to not get too close to people.
"Oh, me!", Jonathan exclaimed, putting his hand up in the air. Lin laughed at Jon's utter excitement.
Charles held out the scissors to Jon, but Jon turned around, only to put on his crown and then royally take the scissors.
Jon stopped behind Lin, and looked at him in the mirror as he confidently chopped off one of the chunks of black hair.
"Royal treatment", Jon remarked in his British accent with the look on his face that made him become King George the III. The rest of the people in there started to laugh, as did Lin, and Jonathan wasn't able to keep his face straight for a second longer. He started giggling, but mainly because it took longer than expected to cut off the ponytail.
"Finally- there you go", he announced, as he held it up to Lin. Lin took it and just laughed.
"Well, thank you", he replied, wondrously looking at the hair in his hands.
"Anyone else?", Charles asked, ready to pass on the scissors to the next highest bidder.
The room was quiet, waiting for someone to put their hand up in the air.
"Rue?", Lin kindly suggested from his chair, looking at me with a smile. I smiled, but shook my head, though it was intriguing. "Don't worry, I want you to", he calmly said, beaming at me.
I stood up, moving away from my safe spot.
"Okay", I said, nervously taking the scissors from Charles' hand. I put the scissors around the second ponytail, hesitating to make the cut.
"It feels like I'm about to do something very wrong", I hesitantly admitted to Lin, looking at him in the mirror.
He nodded at me, giving me an understanding look.
"I know. But I can't go around looking like this, eh?", he reassured me and made a joke, gesturing towards the fun hairdo.
"I guess...", I said, and slowly started to cut his hair off. When I had finally gotten through it all, the room cheered. I giggled and handed the ponytail to Lin, who gracefully accepted it and put it next to the first one. Vanessa gave me a proud look, and we smiled at each other.
I went back to my spot on the sofa.
Before Charles could ask for the next person, Lin put his hand up in the air.
"Wait, I want to do the last one myself!", he stated, and accepted the scissors from Charles.
He slowly cut through the ponytail, remarking how it was harder than he had thought it would be.
"Aaand... done!", Lin announced as he held up the ponytail as a sign of victory. He shook out his shorter hair. "Finally free!", he exclaimed in relief, and looked himself in the mirror. He paused for a second, suddenly realising what he had done. His hair truly looked like a short mop had landed on his head.
"Oh my- Thank god you're here to fix this mess, Charles", Lin pointed out, looking rather uncertain of the hair that could be best explained by envisioning a dark haired Boris Johnson with slightly longer hair. Charles burst out laughing, and took the scissors from Lin in a suggestive manner.
"I mean, I could just leave you like this", he jokingly told Lin, raising his eyebrows and making the entire room giggle.
"Please don't! I have an after party to get to!", Lin said, putting on a slightly panicked face though he knew Charles was joking. All to put on a show, because that's what he loved to do.
"Alright, alright, sit still and we'll make you presentable"

As Vanessa and Lin got whisked off to the after party, me and Sebastian tagged along with Vanessa's parents who would be looking after us until tomorrow. Sebastian had passed out again, now in the arms of Frank, Vanessa's Dad.
"Nothing will wake this little man up", Frank pointed out, laughing as Sebastian didn't flinch or lift an ear at the sounds of sirens coming closer to us.

Instead, I was the one that had tensed up, and I could feel my chest knotting up on itself.
I was barely keeping up with them, as I silently wished that the sirens wouldn't come onto this street.
And, mostly, I wished that it wasn't an ambulance. Usually I could hear the difference, but there were too many noises and sounds for me to make notice.
I didn't have the energy for an ambulance right now.
Or ever, really.

A second later, Vanessa's Mom took my hand, having seen my unsettled face as I had started to stressfully look around me, from one side to the other.
"You're here and safe with us. It's not for you, it's not for us and it's not for them, Rue", she calmly said, and I realised that we were just about to go down to the subway. In a way, I was relieved that I was going to get away from the sirens, even though I knew it was going to be more noisy underground.
"Yeah, I... I know", I told her, my voice slightly shaky as I took the first step down the stairs with her and put the sirens behind us.

I left it all behind, and it took every little bit of me to ignore the things that took over my entire brain.
But it was always easier when someone was guiding me away from it, or just holding my hand.
It was always easier to not be alone
And I rarely was these days.

After we arrived at their apartment a little later, everyone quickly went to bed. I was in the guest bedroom, laying in the bed, wide awake.
It was my first time sleeping anywhere else but home or the hospital since the kidnapping.
Vanessa had given them my bedding and my pillows in advance, in order to make me feel more safe. Even the thought of her thinking of that made my heart melt.
I had never known kindness like that before.
On the little cork board by the small armchair in the corner, there were several postcards of places they had visited. They had also put up a little welcome sign on it, for me.
They had even installed a little night light.
They said that they had bought it for Sebastian for when he got a little older, but I think it really was for me. Because they knew I would need it.

Still, I was laying there in bed, unable to sleep, clenching the sides of the bedding, as I had the duvet pulled over my head while I stared into the wall.

My stomach was all knotted up, my heart raising as I forced my eyes to stay open.

I wanted to go to sleep, but I somehow couldn't let myself.

In hindsight, I knew it was because of all the what ifs; what if a new place would make him come back?; what if I'd have a nightmare and wake everybody up?; what if I'd get stuck?; what if I couldn't get out?; what if he would come back? what if-

I turned to look at the clock, trying to avert my thoughts from the spiral that had formed in the last few hours.
It was getting closer to 4:30 am.
I had almost made it through the night.

I took up my phone, hoping that Dom would be online. To my surprise, he wasn't.
He had texted a goodnight message before I had even gone to bed.
That was slightly unusual.
He was usually always up.
That's when I noticed the text he had sent before that one.

>> Sorry, there's a lot
>> Hope you had fun at the show! I mean, who am I playing, I know you did❤️ They're showing Grease in Fort Tryon Park tomorrow night if you wanna go? I'll bring popcorn!🍿

I scrunched my forehead.
An incomplete sentence was also unusual for him.
Inviting me to watch a movie wasn't.

<< Maybe! I'd love to, but it has to be a maybe right now. Got kind of overwhelmed with everything yesterday, so I'm a little off❤️
<< And a lot about what?

I sat up, and looked out of the window between the curtains.
The world was still utterly quiet.
I blinked a few times.
The sun was about to go up in the next hour or so. I lit the lamp on my bedside table, and stood up. Then, I put my sweatshirt on over my dotted pyjamas, and decided to walk out to the living room.

No one was awake yet, but I couldn't bare a single more second of trying to sleep.

I walked quietly, desperately trying not to wake anyone, and then stood by the massive book cases they had in the living room.
I let my fingers run over the amount of books that were almost weighing the shelves down, as I carefully read every title.
I suddenly stopped at a book with an intriguing title, The Book Thief, one that also had a frightening cover. On it, there was a little girl, who seemed to be dancing with death.
As I took it out from its place on the shelf, I could see how well read it was. The edges were worn and certain pages were folded at the upper corner. I couldn't put my finger on why why, but I took that as a sign and sat down on the big leather sofa, and put a blanket around me as I began to read.

"You're up early, Ruthie", I could hear Vanessa's Mom say behind me, right after she had quietly knocked on the doorway to get my attention. Although, I hadn't noticed.
So, it still caught me off guard, and my body tensed up as I turned my head around, slightly frightened.
"S-sorry", I quickly uttered, embarrassed by my actions and because of the scare, I had slammed the book together. As I made a sudden move I also noticed how my head hurt. All in all, I had been up for about 24 hours now. She shook her head.
"No, I am. I interrupted your thoughts", she said, as she walked into the room, and gestured towards the seat next to me. "Can I?", she asked.
"Y-yeah", I replied, pulling my feet up so that she could fit on the two seat sofa.
"That's a good book", she pointed out, nodding towards my chest as I was holding it tightly against it.
"I just saw it a-and started reading, I can put it back-", I blurted out, as I tapped the back of the book, suddenly going into defense mode.
It had been a while since that happened last.
She shook her head, and calmly replied.
"No, no, you can have it. I think you'll like Liesel's story", she kindly told me, smiling.
I slowly tried to adjust to the fact that I knew this wasn't a hostile environment, but my heart was raising and I had to force my eyes to continue to stay open when I had the urge that I had to blink.
"Okay", I quietly told her, and started looking around the living room, that you might as well have called a library. Though, I couldn't find a clock. "What... what's the time?", I slowly asked her, seeing how the sun had gone up. I hadn't realised, as the words had been distracting me from falling asleep.
My head was pounding, my eyelids weighing me down, but I still refused to give in.
I couldn't.
I just couldn't.
"It's only 6:30, I thought you'd be up much later, being a teenager and all", she considerably told me, even giggling a little about it.
I looked down on my lap, putting the book down as I started to fiddle with my fingers and tap in the pattern I liked, as the feeling of shame washed over me, At first, I thought about telling her how it actually was, and then my own thoughts had shut that down.
But, I didn't have to debate it much longer.
She could see it in how I was acting.
In the way I was looking away, trying to not get caught and at the same time I felt like I had done something terribly wrong, when the opposite of what I was doing still felt impossible and wrong at the same time.
"Oh, honey, you haven't slept, have you?", she quietly asked me as she realised the fact, and I could hear how broken her voice was.

I looked up, feeling the tears come in.

I shook my head, trying to make them stop by swallowing and clenching my jaw.
"I'm sorry", I wept as I squinted my eyes closed, my voice breaking when I said it. The first tears started rolling down my cheeks.
I desperately started wiping them away with the arms of my sweatshirt, as I skipped for breaths in between waves of weeps.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-", I quietly repeated, hoping she wouldn't hear, as I said it compulsively.
Then, I could feel her arms around me, embracing me tightly.
"No, no, honey, don't be sorry, you can cry all you want-", she calmly and quietly told me, as she put her hand on my hair. "Shhh, it's alright. You'll be alright. We all have a hard time sleeping sometimes"
She stroked my hair, as I slowly let my guard down and accepted the hug.
Still, I forced my eyes to stay open.
"It'll be alright"

It was the afternoon. The world had been awake for a while now. And I had been, too. For quite some time.

I was laying on the sofa, forcing my eyelids to stay up after every blink. Sebastian was playing with trains on the floor, as some children's program was on the TV in the background.
I didn't even notice, but sometime around then Lin and Vanessa had come to pick us up.
Frank had opened the door, and they greeted each other loudly.
My head hurt.
I squinted my eyes together only to open them again.
"Mommy! Daddy!", Sebastian loudly exclaimed as he noticed their presence, and the words sort of mushed into one in my ears, bouncing off of each other. It even made me feel slightly ill.
Vanessa's Mom stood up, after having been keeping an eye on me and Sebastian all day. I could see her walking past me, as she stroked my shoulder to comfort me before she unwillingly walked off.

There was some talking, but I couldn't really figure out what they were saying.

"-we've been trying, but she hasn't slept", Frank explained, his voice filled with concern.
"What do you mean? At all?", Lin asked, sounding slightly confused.
"She hasn't slept, I don't know. It's like she can't make herself go to sleep", Vanessa's Mom tried to clarify my behaviour as well.
I couldn't even explain it myself.
"Or she's refusing", Vanessa quietly said, having already put the pieces together. Lin wasn't far behind.
"Like she can't let herself sleep", he added, his voice concerned as he stated the truth that I knew deep down in my mind.
Then, the words got mushed into one again.

My view was blurry, a mix of watery eyes and tiredness.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Tap.
Come on, tap!
I tapped.
I had given in to all thoughts by now.
"Hey, Niñita...", Vanessa's voice suddenly spoke to me, and I realised she had sat down on the floor by the sofa, sitting at eye level with me. She stroked her hand on my head. "My parents say you haven't been sleeping"
I didn't reply, and I also didn't want them to be worried; or for them to feel bad.
Because this was entirely my fault.
My choice, even.
Even though there was something in the back of my head telling me to not go to sleep.
So, I slowly forced myself to sit up, my arms almost not being able to carry my weight as I pushed myself up.
"Hey-", Frank said, grabbing my arm and helping Vanessa catch me as the world started spinning around me. Yet, the sudden movement of someone I didn't know that well startled me, and I pulled away, pressing myself into the corner of the sofa, feeling that my heart was in my mouth.
He pulled away.
Vanessa didn't.
She held me tighter.
As if to say, I'm here. I'm still here.
She said something, but I couldn't piece together what was what.
Nothing made sense anymore.
I could feel my entire body just pulse, and then I could feel the regret coming in, literally coming in as a big wave.
"I'm sorry-", I blurted out, quietly. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry-"
"No, shhh Niñita, don't be, you're just tired. Okay? You're just tired. It's been a long day for you", Vanessa said, taking my hand as she realised I had started tapping vigorously. "Let's go home, and get some sleep, okay?"
I nodded, giving in.
"Okay, Rue-Rue. Let's go home"

I collected my things and Lin took my bag before I could even think about carrying it, and hugged Vanessa's parents right before leaving.
They were talking about something, but I couldn't piece together what, as all I could focus on was not falling asleep. Like that was the most important thing in that very moment. Like I genuinely thought that I wouldn't survive if I fell asleep. Somehow all the what ifs had become the truth in my mind.

As we walked down to the car, Lin put his arm around my back and held my arm, because he was worried that I was going to fall.
"I've got you, Rue-Rue", he caringly told me.
I didn't blame him.
I wasn't myself, really.
Even though I really was, in a way.

I kept my eyes open as we drove home.
I sat in the front seat.
I had started sitting in the backseat in the , but they probably didn't want to risk anything.
I understood that.

When we got home, Vanessa instantly put me to bed.
"Alright, Niñita, let's get some sleep", she said, as she tucked the covers around me. "I'll stay here with you", she told me.
In a way, that was relieving to hear.
"Really?", I asked her.
"Of course. Now please, my Rue-Rue, try and get some sleep. Okay?", she said, smiling to the side though her eyes were filled with worry.
I slowly nodded.

Somehow sleeping seemed more approachable now. In my home, in the presence of someone I knew, in my room and in my bed.

"Okay", I whispered, replying to her question. I even surprised myself with the answer.
She looked relieved, too, and kissed the top of my head.
"I love you", she quietly said, and switched off the light.
"Love you too", I replied, not giving it much thought. It was merely a definitive answer, or a fact, that I had known for a while now. Though I hadn't told them yet, except for last night. Though I don't think they realised that I said it then.
She got quiet.
In a positive way.
In hindsight, I've realised how much that sentence meant for her to hear.
It probably meant more for her than for me.
But, I didn't think of that then, because I could finally close my eyes and not force them open a millisecond later.
I fell asleep just a little later.
It was easy, even.
Or maybe my mind had finally stepped out of the way and ultimately let my body rest.
And that's what I did.
I just slept.

I woke up screaming once.
But only once.
The other times I woke up, I would just fall asleep again. Because I knew I was safe.

"She's been asleep for ages", I could hear Vanessa worriedly say outside my door. I looked over at the corner, where Vanessa and Lin had taken turns to watch over me when I was asleep.
"I know... Maybe we should just try to be glad that she's sleeping", Lin said, sounding slightly beaten down.
"Yeah, I guess", Vanessa replied.
"Maybe we didn't think this through, V? What if this whole thing was a stupid idea? First going to Puerto Rico and then the Dominican Republic for two weeks and... and then moving away from all she's ever known?", Lin told Vanessa, ignoring his own advice, and starting to worry about everything else. "Maybe we shouldn't go through with it, I- I can call it off, postpone my shooting time just a month or two-"
You could hear his brain working from miles away, as he was trying to figure out a way to make me more comfortable or ready for the situation.

My knot grew in my stomach.
Why can't you ever behave?
Why can't you be normal?
Blink.
I did.

Vanessa cut him off.
"No, you can't. Lin, we're moving away, but not from all she's ever known. She'll have us, okay?", Vanessa said, sounding a little worried though she was trying to be hopeful. "We've thought this through. I know we have"
"I know, I know-", Lin said, and opened the door to my room, and while he sneaked in the light seeped through from the other room.
He was holding a coffee cup in his hand, as he sat down in the armchair.
Right before he opened the book he had left by the side table, he quickly took a look at me.
He smiled a little, as he realised that I was awake.
"Hi, Niñita", he softly told me.
"Hi", my voice cracked as I spoke for the first time in god knows how long, and soon that word turned into a yawn.
Lin chuckled.
"You can go back to sleep if you want to", he assured me, while walking over before sitting down next to me.
I shook my head.
"I've been asleep for too long", I said, sitting up and straightening out my spine before stretching my arms up in the air.
"But you were also awake for a very long time", he pointed out. But he didn't blame me for it, "So I think that sleep was very legitimate"
I nodded hesitantly and pulled my legs up, hugging them. I looked down at my hands and arms. At least they were whole.
At least that was a win.
I swallowed.
And then I started to talk, as I anxiously blinked and tapped.
"Please don't cancel anything be... because of me", I quietly uttered, scared to say it though it had to be said. "I'll do better, I promise, I-I'm getting better-"
I started tapping in the pattern I liked.
"So you heard us-", Lin softly and calmly said, before taking my hands and squeezing them tightly. "Look at me, Rue-Rue"
I did.
He smiled to the side, a little worriedly though he tried to hide it.
"We're not gonna cancel anything if we weren't absolutely sure that you could do it", he said, his honesty beaming from his eyes. "And, since you heard us, you also heard that we think that you can. I had to be reminded of it, and now I think you have to be reminded too. Right?"
I slowly nodded, because I knew what he was saying was true. I smiled to the side, and slowly started to blink normally again.
"Right", I finally told him. I looked away again, and blushed, feeling a little embarrassed to have told him my worries.
"Don't feel silly, Niñita. We all worry. You just worry a little more, and that's okay too"
He chuckled quietly, and put my hair behind my ear. I started giggling as well, trying to shake off the unsure feeling within me.
"I love you, and I know everything is changing but-", he told me, and I cut him off.
"That's a good thing", I filled in the rest of the words that he was going to say, and smiled to the side. He looked at me with surprise and pride on his face.
"Exactly", he said, pulling me in for a hug.

I stayed in his arms for a while, feeling safe.
I hadn't gotten used to his short hair.
But I knew I eventually would.

We let go, and I yawned as he stood up to pull my curtain up, letting the light seep in.
I had no idea what time or day it was.
"There's leftovers from dinner, if you'd want some?", he asked me, always making sure that I was eating. I took up my phone, seeing that Dom had texted me both yesterday and today.

>> Oh, it was nothing, really. Just a lot going on lately! I'll take Flo to see it, I promise I'll update you😌

The next one was from today.

>> Didn't make it to Grease last night either, unfortunately. Call me when you want to. I hope you're okay❤️

I quickly replied, realising that he had pieced a few puzzle pieces together and figured out that I hadn't been doing too well.

<< I'm okay now, I just couldn't sleep. I'll call you later tonight❤️

"I guess", I slowly replied as I texted Dom back, actually letting myself recognise the hunger in my stomach.
He lit up.
"I'll put some in the microwave for you. We can put on some B99?", he suggested, knowing I couldn't say no to that.
I looked up at him as he was about to leave my room, having just opened the door out to the corridor. The light seeped through and hit my face.
"Yeah", I began to say. He nodded and started walking away. "Lin?", I said his name, asking to get his attention. He stopped in the doorway, turning his head back to look at me.
"Huh?, he asked.
"Love you too"
He beamed at me, and nodded.
"Let's get you something to eat"

—————
Hello!🪴
So it took me about a month to write and publish another chapter, but I'd still give that a thumbs up since I actually just started Uni😌

This chapter focuses on how Rue really isn't a fan of change, since change always has meant something negative before in her life. And, of course, a small setback because of the change ahead📍 Also, something seems to be up with Dom👀

Anyways, every time I start writing this story I always fall in love with writing it. I also feel so happy with myself when I've manage to get a chapter together, so I'm really going to try and make time for writing this year✍️ Although, school will always be my top priority and my first exams are coming up during the end of October so who knows if I'll get anything done😂

No one probably cares, but I've really settled in here in my life at Uni. I love my apartment, the city I live in and I've found some really great friends that truly look out for each other❤️ I've also realised that I really like to cook and try out new meals. Felt very homey tonight as I stood by the stove and made Swedish meatballs with potatoes and gravy🙈 I can proudly say that I have only bought one meal since moving here, besides that I've just been meal prepping all the way!🍝 On Saturday my Program is having a Sittning (seating, fancy dinner party for students in which they dress up) with a Royal theme 👸🏼 So I'm kind of excited about dressing up and having fun there🥂

Since I am studying at a Swedish University at the Technical Faculty, my Program has overalls or boilersuits (called ovve) that we wear for happenings, like parties etc. We decorate them with our names and different labels from events. I haven't gotten mine yet but I think I'll feel like a proper student then🪴 It's green bc that's the colour of my program💚 So, I'm pretty much very excited to get it and to have a sewing evening with my friends☀️

Enough about me now, how did you like the chapter? Lin's last show, he cut his hair, Rue's opening up but having a relapse at the same time... And something's up with Dom. I won't say more than that🫢 Does anyone have an idea what it might be?👀

Q of the Day: Basic one, but I think it says a lot of things about a person. Favourite colour? 🎨
Me? Probably green! Honestly my entire apartment is green🪴
And Rue? Definitely yellow💛

With that said, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you did, please leave a like or a comment📝 They make my day!🎉

Have the loveliest of days,
Sincerely,
H

Published: 5th of October 2022